I’m totally complaining

I am beginning to wonder why I even bother going to sleep anymore. It’s more hassle than what it’s worth.
It takes me 5 minutes to crawl into the bed, another 8 minutes deciding which side I’m more comfortable on (since I no longer can sleep on my stomach or on my back), another 10 minutes getting 29 pillows I use for support all in place. By the time I get all settled and comfortable, I have to take a leak. I get up, go pee, come back and repeat the process all over again, only to have to take another leak. It’s an endless cycle. By the time I finally am able to fall asleep, the man is getting up for work and I have to pee again. I wake up purely exhausted and ready for a nap.
Then there’s the whole “my hands go numb and swell to triple the size” thing that goes on all night. I have to wake up and shake the hell out of them to get the circulation back, then I have to pee.
It’s frustrating, to say the least. AND I HAVE FIVE MORE MONTHS TO GO! My stomach is only going to get bigger, the pains and discomfort are going to get worse and it’s only a matter of time before the baby starts kicking my organs. Not to mention when she starts taking up all of the space in there, making it hard to breathe.
I won’t even talk about the hemorroids flaring up, because that would be offensive.
I’m thinking the only solution to this problem is to ask Tony to whack me with a bat in the head every night so as to knock me out cold for a few hours, at least then I’d get some sleep. Ok, maybe not, but if I get desperate enough. Maybe.