She turned ten in August.
I still find it hard to believe that my last baby is ten years old.
Time is a jerk, for reals.
Yesterday I asked her if she would go to the park with me so that I could take a few photos of her. I told her that by allowing me to photograph her, she’s helping me to learn how my new camera works and to become a better photographer. She’s not a big fan of having me take her photos because “I’ve been taking her pictures her WHOLE LIFE!” But she was so kind and said she would help me. But only if I let her play at the park after I was finished.
Always negotiating, that one.
Of course I agreed. Anything for my girl. (And anything to get to practice with my camera!)
Once upon a time I confessed to the internet that I do not let my kids eat cookie dough because I’m too afraid they’ll get salmonella poisoning and quite possibly, die.
The conversation that took place in the comments was interesting. Some people were like “Raw eggs are dangerous! You are so right not to let your kids eat it!” Other people were like “JOY THIEF! You are depriving your children of being a child! LET THEM EAT THE DAMN CAKE BATTER!”
I’m proud to say I still do NOT let my children eat raw cookie dough/cake batter.
Today, I am confronted with another parenting dilemma in which I question whether I’m being a paranoid, over protective freak.
I will not let my daughter jump on a trampoline.
This issue came up a few times when the boys were little. They’d ask if they could jump on the neighbors trampoline and I’d be all “No!” And they’d be all “But mom! Why.. ha ha Did you hear my fart? That was the best fart ever! LET’S PLAY BASKETBALL!”
Gabby is not as easily distracted. She made a new friend in the neighborhood and this friend has a MOFO trampoline. She was invited over right now and the first thing out of her mouth was “May I please jump on the trampoline?”
Here is the conversation that followed:
Me: No. You can’t jump on the trampoline.
Her: Why not, Mommy? They’re so fun!
Me: Because they’re dangerous! You can injure yourself so easily!
Her: Oh my GOSH, Seriously, Mom? That doesn’t happen in real life! That only happens on America’s Funniest Home Videos!
So, I ask you, Awesome People Who Read My Blog, do you (would you) let your child jump on trampolines? If yes, tell me why you’re not afraid they’ll flip off, land on their head and break their necks.
ethan: mommy, come wipe my butt
me: how about you wipe your own butt?
ethan: but mommy, i can’t i went diarrhea
me: (to the person i was talking to on the phone) oh god, trish, hold on i have to wipe an ass.
ethan: mommy, would you please stop saying A.S.S.?
ethan:*holding up monopoly money* this is real money, ya know?
me: no it’s not ethan
ethan: yes it is mommy, the only difference is there are no faces on it but it’s real.
me: no, baby, it’s play money
ethan:(angrily) NO IT’S REAL AND I’M GONNA BUY SOMETHING FROM THE ICE CREAM MAN!
me: oh reeeeeeeeeeeeeally?
me: ok, you go ahead and do that.
is it wrong that i can’t wait for the ice cream man to come so i can see the look on his face when he tries to buy something with his fake dollar bills?