That is how I feel.
Overwhelmed with both good, bad. Happy. sad. Anger. Love.
But mostly good, happy and love.
This weekend will take days if not weeks for me to process. The love that I felt from both friends and strangers alike. The unwarranted ugliness in a crowded room. The sadness I saw watching a friend struggle to keep it together. The beauty I saw in a group of women whose positive energy (OMG. BIG FAT OPRAH HEAD) carried me through one of the most terrifying, yet amazing moments of my entire life. The cheeseburgers. Oh my GOD, the cheeseburgers.
I’ll write it all very soon, I just need to sort it all out first.
And by “sort it all out” I really mean “take a 4 day nap because Holy Mother of Hotel Security, I am tired.”
(P.S. I met some amazing women who have wonderfully written blogs and I look forward to sharing them with you in the next few days. Today, I really think you should go and read Lesbian Dad. I promise you that it will be worth your time.)
I want to tell you a story about my first year at BlogHer.
I wasn’t particularly nervous about fitting in or any of that crap. I’m a “Make My Own Fun” kind of person and don’t really give a shit if people “invite me to sit at their table” or not. I knew that I’d have fun because I had a fabulous roommate and was looking forward to meeting the people I had come to know online through my blog.
When I arrived, things were just as I had imagined. Better, actually. And then “it” happened.
I had just finished doing the Alpha Mom interview and as I was walking out with my friend, someone asked what we were doing next.
“We’re going to the party in Super Star Bloggers room!”
The Exclusive Party That I Wasn’t Invited To.
“Um, I wasn’t invited to that party.” I said to my friend.
“Ohhhh.” she said. things got a little awkward. “Well, I am going.”
In that moment, I could have felt highly offended. I was snubbed! The PopEweLers! don’t like me! I’m a loser! Wah!
But, guess what? I didn’t care. In fact, I couldn’t have cared less. I didn’t have the energy to sit and pout because a bunch of people who I didn’t know and weren’t interested in getting to know me didn’t invite me to their party. There were people to talk to and booze to drink and Drive By Farters to laugh at.
At last years conference, while Elizabeth Edwards was speaking, my roommate Lena began passing “let’s have a party in our room!” notes back and forth.
“Who should we invite?”
“Whoever wants to come.”
“What about her, her and her?”
“Yes! And her and her, her her her and her!”
“Oh! and her!”
“How about we just tell people we talk to at the Cock! Tail! Party to come up to our room when it’s over!”
“We can go to 7-11 and buy booze! And fritos! And bean dip!”
At the party, I told everyone I talked to about our party.
“Come to our party in 2603″
“We’re having booze and bean dip in room 2603! Come join us!”
“Room 2603! Be there!”
When we got on the bus to go back to the hotel, I started to get a little worried.
“I’m scared that everyone will show up. What will we do if that happens?” I asked Lena.
“Um, how many people did you invite, Y?”
“Only… everyone that I talked to..”
We laughed and laughed. Then we got scared. What if everyone showed up? Or, even worse, what if absolutely NO one showed up?
Once we got to the room, we met up with Lindsay, SJ, and Kathy and decided to take a trip to buy “food and drink” for our party.
That trip to 7-11 is one of my favorite memories of the entire trip. Nothing funnier than a bunch of bloggers deciding which booze to buy for their hotel room party at 10pm on a Saturday night.
We were totally stoked with our bottles of booze and cans of bean as we walked the streets of Chicago. Now, I’m not trying to brag here, but as we were walking to our hotel room, I spotted a McDonalds and came up with one of my Top 10 Greatest Ideas in the History of My Life.
“Hey! Let’s grab some Cheeseburgers and fries to pass out at our party!”
And everyone was all “OMFG YES!”
15 minutes later, we were in our room with a dresser full of liquor and a bed full of McDonald bags.
Within a few minutes, people started filing into the room.
“Wanna Cheeseburger!” I’d say all happy like with my Bag Hat.
But, after about the 10th person, I started getting a little nervous because I’m totally scared of The Law. I had heard rumors about Security breaking up a room of FOUR people and so I was like “let’s try to keep it down, people.”
I lost count of how many people were filing into the room, but I can tell you that it was a lot. There wasn’t anywhere to stand, so people began sitting on our beds and on our pillows (WHILE EATING BEAN DIP.) and man, did it get loud.
Within minutes, we were out of cheeseburgers.
And it was sad.
God, it was so much fun being crammed into that room, talking to all of those people. Most of them I didn’t even know! And they didn’t know me! And yet, we sat on a bed and talked while drinking Smirnoff Ice.
Then, all of a sudden, someone came running in saying something about “Security’s coming!”
And Lindsay grabbed me and pulled me into the bathroom where we hid because, I told you… SCARED OF THE LAW.
I would have stayed in there too, but they started asking questions.
“Who’s room is this?”
So, I took off my Bag Hat, walked out of the bathroom scared shitless of the GIANT MEN who wanted to “have a word with me.”
“Hi, can I help you?”
“Is this your room?”
And then, I said the dumbest thing that I bet that man has ever heard when breaking up a party.
“Sir, we’re just writers. We’re just writers talking. And eating cheeseburgers. We’re just writers,sir”
You can see that Big Dude is trying really hard not to laugh, which was good because he wasn’t smiling when I first started talking. He couldn’t hold it back any longer because… we’re just writers, sir.
The party couldn’t have lasted longer than an hour, but the memories that were made in that room that night still make me laugh so hard that it hurts a year later. I loved the experience of chatting with people who I might not have otherwise had the chance to talk to while wearing a bag on my head and that it seemed completely normal and not at all lame to everyone there. It was just one of the most absurdly hilarious nights of my life.
And guess what?
We’re doing it again this year. Only this year, it’s going to Kick So Much Ass because Isabel from Alpha Mom has graciously offered to host our party. And let me tell you, She knows how to throw a party.
If you’re going to be at BlogHer, Myself, Lindsay and SJ would love for you to join us on Saturday night. It will start around 9:30 pm. We don’t have a room number yet, so you’ll have to find one of us or you can email me and I’ll give you my number so we can get in touch.
MY GOD, my fingers hurt. No time to edit. Must go to sleep. Airport in 11 hours. WOO.
Why “trollish” type comments do not bother me.
Commenter name: Mimi
Commenter IP address: 71.117.98.*
That’s bull shit. You are all addicted to those lakers and to that Kolbe
who is making millions of dollars thanks to all of your addictions,
meanwhile causes all those dramas in your life. It’s really stupid, that
you are all addicted to these lakers as if you are addicted to drugs. It’s
the same thing. Sit in front of TV and watch a game that never ends,
sacrify your children, the quality learning time you can give to them. The
Mom giving that lakers ticket is just sad, cause she is submissive and
letting her freedom guided by her husband who is addicted to watch a game,
above all he is not even fit. this society is just poison to your brains.
People are getting so ridiculous. good luck. Soon also, check your ass to
see how many pounds you gain watching that Tv
I love you more than the typed word could ever express. And because I love you, I think you need to know that my thyroid is NOT deleting my posts, nor did my thyroid EAT ME. (ha ha hahaa)
What happened was….
I had planned on writing a post about Thyroids, but only got as far as the title. Apparently, I accidentally hit publish just before I shut down the computer to leave with The Daughter for our Monday of Fun-day. So, imagine my surprise when I got home and saw over 30 comments on a post that I NEVER ACTUALLY WROTE. And my God, they were hilarious and pretty much made my day.
Now that I know you care about Thyroids I will post what I had originally planned on posting sometime tomorrow. I just felt like I owed you an explanation and also a THANK YOU for making me feel like less of a jackass for publishing a TITLE.
OH, the Thyroid Humor. It kills me.
I’ve been struggling with what to do about this blog.
Today, I was tempted to delete it. I was very Soap Opera Serious about it too. I feel like this.. why keep it up when I can’t seem to be able to translate my thoughts into words? I see it sitting here, with the same post up for a week and I’m literally unable to type the thoughts and stories that have collected in my brain for the past 7 days.
However, I know that if I were to delete or to make some dramatic statement such as “I’M QUITTING BLOGGING!” that I’ll regret it the second I did it. If only because I love to have this place to write WHEN the mood strikes (which obviously isn’t very often these days.)
Writing has always come easily (naturally?) to me. And please don’t misinterpret that to mean that “I am a naturally a good writer.” I know that I am not a good writer. And please don’t misinterpret THAT to mean “I am a horrible, awful writer and am stupid and I should just go ahead and kill myself now!” What I mean is that it’s something I love to do (in the same way that I love to hear myself talk), even THOUGH I know that I’m not incredibly good at it and although I have gone through periods of “writers block” I don’t ever recall feeling as though “I will never be able to do this again!!”
But that’s how I feel right at this moment. I am trying not to give it too much weight, because I realize that for the most part, the reason that I’m having a hard time with this whole writing thing is because of the low thyroid (Ha! You thought I was going to get through an entire post without saying it! YOU LOSE!) At the same time, I can’t help but wonder if after almost 6 years is simply long enough and it’s time to move on.
(Am I really having a “blogging crisis” or am I fabricating this to BOOST MY RATINGS!? Troll sez: RATINGS PLOY!)
(Clearly, I am not ready to let that go yet, if only because it’s my second most favorite insult on ever written on this blog, the first being “WINNERS DO THE MATH!”)
Please don’t leave comments asking me not to quit. If you do, I will virtually hold my finger up to your mouth and say “SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.” This isn’t something I need to be talked out. It’s just me, thinking out loud and trying to break this writing funk that I am in. The truth is that I don’t think I could ever delete this blog. There are too many stories that I want to remember and deleting it would be like deleting a tiny little piece of my soul. (See! I told you! Soap Opera Serious!) However, if I don’t have some kind of mental break through in which I am once again able to sit down and write about my life (AND NOT ABOUT MY THYROID.) I may have to walk away for a bit.
Here is where I ask for your help.
Ask me a question.
In doing so, you may help to unlock my brain and save me from this Blogpression. (Oh YES I DID.)
p.s. if I get a lot of questions, there’s a very good chance that I won’t be able to answer every single one. And it won’t mean I didn’t like your question or that I’m an asshole. It’ll just mean that I’m overwhelmed, so please don’t take it personally.
p.s.s. I’m kind of hoping that someone will ask me about my thoughts on Mary Hart, because ever since watching a clip of her and Marie Osmond on youtube I can’t seem to get her fake laugh out of my head and I may have gone so far as to google “Mary Hart is annoying” to see if the internet feels the same way about her as I do.
I look forward to your questions.
Woah, that’s a lot of questions! No more questions necessary as I am pretty sure I’ll be answering questions for the next 3 months. THANK YOU!
I think you should go read this post.
p.s. (And totally unrelated to the post that I just linked…)If you truly believe that I’m a “fraud” who only posts stories to “boost my ratings,” then it’s probably best that you stop coming to read my fraudulent postings, yes? Just a thought.
I recently learned that Beth (from I Should Be Folding Laundry) lost both of her twin baby boys, James and Jake. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain and heartache that she is dealing with every minute of every day. And yet, she has decided to honor her babies by participating in the March of Dimes, March for Babies.
Because my heart breaks for her and because I think what she’s doing is amazing, I wanted to direct you to her donation page.
She did not ask me to do this, I just really want to see her reach her goal.
I read on a few blogs that today is “Delurking Day.”
I did it last year and had every intention on writing every single person who came out of hiding to comment back.
That didn’t happen. Partly because I’m a quitter, but mostly because I didn’t expect so many people to participate.
I still have all of the emails saved because I still have this dream that I’m going to respond– but I think it’s time I admit that I failed you, Oh (former) Lurkers and I am sorry.
And even though I suck and didn’t respond to every single comment last time, I’m going to go ahead and do it again this year. If only because I sincerely LOVE to hear from the people who read here every day. Does that make me an asshole?
Don’t answer that.
Anyway… If you read this blog and have never commented, I would love to hear from you today.
Random Horse is all “COME ON… SAY-AAAY-AAA-AAY SOMETHING.”
(Coming up next: My Weight Gain, in Pictures. mmmmmm Belly Fat.)
Tomorrow will mark the 17th anniversary of the day that I wore a veil bigger than God and married PigHunter. I had plans to write “Our Love Story” in honor of our special day, but then Tony made me all sad and angry last night when he refused to allow me to rewind The Office and watch it with him because “why would he want to sit there and watch something he already had been watching for the last 13 minutes!?!” Now, I can’t write it because I am too busy cleaning up the cream puff I threw at the wall and leaving notes on his pillow that say things like “I changed my mind, I don’t want to go out to dinner with you tomorrow night, but thanks for the offer!” So, until I a) finally start my period and stop feeling all crazy and angry inside b) Tony apologizes (or at LEAST buys me another cream puff.) there will be no love story.
Instead, I will leave you with a few links that I think you should click on because you love me and you don’t want me to throw a cream puff at YOU.
Kathy (Co-Author of The It Girls Guide to Blogging with Moxie) has a new site with valuable information for parents.. Safe Mama-One-stop child safety, product recall, health and well-being resource for parents. Awesome.
Chris is working on a Holiday Gift Guide. Make sure you check her site every day to check for new items.
Stefanie is now in the hospital awaiting the early arrival of her twins. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
Speaking of Stefanie… Remember the video that I posted of me on Mom Logic? Well, today they posted another video with yours truly and Stefanie talking about postpartum depression. I can’t believe I didn’t mention that she was there with me until now. Having her there with me was one of the reasons the experience was so great.
And with that, I’m done because… HOLY MOTHER OF BLOGS, link-type posts are hard.