I want to tell you a story about my first year at BlogHer.
I wasn’t particularly nervous about fitting in or any of that crap. I’m a “Make My Own Fun” kind of person and don’t really give a shit if people “invite me to sit at their table” or not. I knew that I’d have fun because I had a fabulous roommate and was looking forward to meeting the people I had come to know online through my blog.
When I arrived, things were just as I had imagined. Better, actually. And then “it” happened.
I had just finished doing the Alpha Mom interview and as I was walking out with my friend, someone asked what we were doing next.
“We’re going to the party in Super Star Bloggers room!”
The Exclusive Party That I Wasn’t Invited To.
“Um, I wasn’t invited to that party.” I said to my friend.
“Ohhhh.” she said. things got a little awkward. “Well, I am going.”
In that moment, I could have felt highly offended. I was snubbed! The PopEweLers! don’t like me! I’m a loser! Wah!
But, guess what? I didn’t care. In fact, I couldn’t have cared less. I didn’t have the energy to sit and pout because a bunch of people who I didn’t know and weren’t interested in getting to know me didn’t invite me to their party. There were people to talk to and booze to drink and Drive By Farters to laugh at.
At last years conference, while Elizabeth Edwards was speaking, my roommate Lena began passing “let’s have a party in our room!” notes back and forth.
“Who should we invite?”
“Whoever wants to come.”
“What about her, her and her?”
“Yes! And her and her, her her her and her!”
“Oh! and her!”
“How about we just tell people we talk to at the Cock! Tail! Party to come up to our room when it’s over!”
“We can go to 7-11 and buy booze! And fritos! And bean dip!”
“YES!”
At the party, I told everyone I talked to about our party.
“Come to our party in 2603”
“We’re having booze and bean dip in room 2603! Come join us!”
“Room 2603! Be there!”
When we got on the bus to go back to the hotel, I started to get a little worried.
“I’m scared that everyone will show up. What will we do if that happens?” I asked Lena.
“Um, how many people did you invite, Y?”
“Only… everyone that I talked to..”
We laughed and laughed. Then we got scared. What if everyone showed up? Or, even worse, what if absolutely NO one showed up?
Once we got to the room, we met up with Lindsay, SJ, and Kathy and decided to take a trip to buy “food and drink” for our party.
That trip to 7-11 is one of my favorite memories of the entire trip. Nothing funnier than a bunch of bloggers deciding which booze to buy for their hotel room party at 10pm on a Saturday night.
We were totally stoked with our bottles of booze and cans of bean as we walked the streets of Chicago. Now, I’m not trying to brag here, but as we were walking to our hotel room, I spotted a McDonalds and came up with one of my Top 10 Greatest Ideas in the History of My Life.
“Hey! Let’s grab some Cheeseburgers and fries to pass out at our party!”
And everyone was all “OMFG YES!”
15 minutes later, we were in our room with a dresser full of liquor and a bed full of McDonald bags.

Within a few minutes, people started filing into the room.
“Wanna Cheeseburger!” I’d say all happy like with my Bag Hat.

But, after about the 10th person, I started getting a little nervous because I’m totally scared of The Law. I had heard rumors about Security breaking up a room of FOUR people and so I was like “let’s try to keep it down, people.”
I lost count of how many people were filing into the room, but I can tell you that it was a lot. There wasn’t anywhere to stand, so people began sitting on our beds and on our pillows (WHILE EATING BEAN DIP.) and man, did it get loud.
Within minutes, we were out of cheeseburgers.

And it was sad.
God, it was so much fun being crammed into that room, talking to all of those people. Most of them I didn’t even know! And they didn’t know me! And yet, we sat on a bed and talked while drinking Smirnoff Ice.
Then, all of a sudden, someone came running in saying something about “Security’s coming!”
And Lindsay grabbed me and pulled me into the bathroom where we hid because, I told you… SCARED OF THE LAW.
I would have stayed in there too, but they started asking questions.
“Who’s room is this?”
Shit.
So, I took off my Bag Hat, walked out of the bathroom scared shitless of the GIANT MEN who wanted to “have a word with me.”
“Hi, can I help you?”
“Is this your room?”
“Yes sir.”
And then, I said the dumbest thing that I bet that man has ever heard when breaking up a party.
“Sir, we’re just writers. We’re just writers talking. And eating cheeseburgers. We’re just writers,sir”

You can see that Big Dude is trying really hard not to laugh, which was good because he wasn’t smiling when I first started talking. He couldn’t hold it back any longer because… we’re just writers, sir.

The party couldn’t have lasted longer than an hour, but the memories that were made in that room that night still make me laugh so hard that it hurts a year later. I loved the experience of chatting with people who I might not have otherwise had the chance to talk to while wearing a bag on my head and that it seemed completely normal and not at all lame to everyone there. It was just one of the most absurdly hilarious nights of my life.
And guess what?

We’re doing it again this year. Only this year, it’s going to Kick So Much Ass because Isabel from Alpha Mom has graciously offered to host our party. And let me tell you, She knows how to throw a party.
If you’re going to be at BlogHer, Myself, Lindsay and SJ would love for you to join us on Saturday night. It will start around 9:30 pm. We don’t have a room number yet, so you’ll have to find one of us or you can email me and I’ll give you my number so we can get in touch.
MY GOD, my fingers hurt. No time to edit. Must go to sleep. Airport in 11 hours. WOO.

I read on a few blogs that today is “Delurking Day.”
I did it last year and had every intention on writing every single person who came out of hiding to comment back.
That didn’t happen. Partly because I’m a quitter, but mostly because I didn’t expect so many people to participate.
I still have all of the emails saved because I still have this dream that I’m going to respond– but I think it’s time I admit that I failed you, Oh (former) Lurkers and I am sorry.
And even though I suck and didn’t respond to every single comment last time, I’m going to go ahead and do it again this year. If only because I sincerely LOVE to hear from the people who read here every day. Does that make me an asshole?
Don’t answer that.
Anyway… If you read this blog and have never commented, I would love to hear from you today.

Random Horse is all “COME ON… SAY-AAAY-AAA-AAY SOMETHING.”
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(Coming up next: My Weight Gain, in Pictures. mmmmmm Belly Fat.)