Monthly Archives: January 2006

Beaver

Yesterday, my husband told me that we have a gopher in the backyard.
I freaked out.
“A GOPHER? What the? Where did it come from? HOW? WHY? AAAAAAHHHH.”
He couldn’t believe how upset I got over a gopher, so he came to the most LOGICAL EXPLANATION FOR MY REACTION EVER!
“Babe, I think you have it confused with a beaver.”
Right, because, surely I couldn’t be upset about a gopher and must have thought he meant the creature with large front teeth, who eats tree bark and BUILDS DAMS!!
And I don’t want no beavers to be buildin’ no dams in my backyard!
I shouldn’t be surprised at his “beaver” comment, the man has a history of saying things that make me go “…THE HELL?
Like, the time that I was very sick and started crying about how much pain I was in and he pointed his finger at me, got in my face and yelled “I TOLD YOU TO LAY OFF OF THE DIET COKE, WOMAN.”
Huh?
Most of the time, his totally random, completely bizarre comments make me laugh hysterically, but when I’m “pre-raggin’ it” I want to tape his mouth shut with a maxipad.

Penis balloons are funny.

I’m still trying to recover from Saturday night.
This “getting old” business sucks.
I remember when I could bounce back from a night of rubber dicks and rum and coke like that. Not the case in my old age.
The Passion Party was more fun than I could have imagined.
Fun AND? Educational.
“Never put anything in your butt that doesn’t have a cord attached.”
Write that one down, people.
I was a slightly mortified at the beginning of the presentation, because the very pregnant lady used the words “handjob” and “stuff my box” in the first 5 minutes and I was like “lady, DO I EVEN KNOW YOU? Howza’bout easing into sessually explicit talk?”
But, then, she gave me a stick with a generous sample of cream that would make my nipples tingle and I was like “I love you, now why don’t you give me a little bit of that stuff that will make my vagina burn up in anticipation of some sweet love makin?”
And let me tell you, that stuff? The “enhancement” gel that you put on your, um, you know, hahaa, clitoris ha! HA! It makes you have to pee INSTANTLY and it burns like a MOTHER. Had she said “Your twat will BURN THE HELL UP” as opposed to “it will feel warm and tingly”? I might not have been the first one to stick my finger out so I could go to the bathroom and rub it on my ha! You know what.
I was the first one to try the products and the first one to laugh everytime she said “balls” and “handjob.”
I was also the winner of the “put the penis in the vagina” game. I called dibs on the dick (a plunger between my legs) leaving my partner with no choice but to be the “vagina” (a roll of toilet paper.) The team to get the “penis” into the “vagina” the fastest would win. I looked my partner in the eye and said “We’re SO winning this.” I hate to lose. The teams before us took over 20 seconds to achieve “penatration.” It took me less than 5 seconds to get mine in. BOOYAH!
Apparently, I know how to navigate a penis. Who knew!
I did order a few things, but I will not tell you what because that is only for Pighunter to know, but I will tell you that um, I will never be able to look at a dolphin in the same way ever again.
After the Party for Vaginas was over, we all jumped in a limo that was OVERFLOWING with liquor to head out to clubs for a little dancing and hilarious little “dares” for the bride to complete.
We each had to write our own dare for her. My dare?
Shout as loud as you can “I LOVE MY VAGINA!”
I thought it was funny.
Our first stop was El Toritos for a little dinner, you know, to absorb the absurd amount of alcohol we were about to consume. As much fun as I had talking with The Girls, I have to say, I can’t remember a time I have felt so stupid and pathetic as I did at that dinner.
They are have a college degrees, they all have sucessful careers, they all own houses and have lots of money.
Me? I don’t have any of the above. I’m an uneducated, overweight, housewife who got married at 19 years, popped out three kids and spends her days figuring out ways to stretch HER MAN’S money so she can pay the bills. I wanted to run outside and cry and maybe, perhaps run into oncoming traffic.
I can’t recall I’ve been more ashamed of the person I’ve turned out to be.
I know, I KNOW, I’m lucky because I have a good husband and three beautiful children and there are people who would kill to have such a precious family. I’m not trying to demish their importance and value in my life.
But, apart from my kids, I really feel like I am nothing. I am ashamed that I don’t have a degree. . I’m ashamed that even if I wanted to (which, right now, I don’t because I refuse to leave my little girl in daycare and I do LOVE staying home with her) I couldn’t go get a good job because “girlfriend don’t have an edu-kay-shee-own.” (If you got that, then you totally watch King of Queens and DON’T YOU LOVE THAT SHOW?) (And, man, I’m way overusing the parenthesis tonight and I should probably look up the word “parenthesis” because my un”higher”educated ass doesn’t even know if I spelled it right.)
But ENOUGH OF THE DEPRESSING, SELF HATRED SHIT, ON TO THE DRUNKEN GOODNESS THAT IS “BARHOPPING!”
After the dinner in which I felt ashamed and had to rip farts to aleviate the pain in my stomach, we hopped back into the limo and headed for a little pub called “O’Douls”.
I have to be honest and say that I didn’t want to go because I expected there to be music with pipes and lots of white men drinking beer, but man, was I wrong.
Let’s just say they should change the name of that place to O’Mexican’s. I felt right at home because the mexicans? They are My People.
In the limo, I was ALL TALK about “the dares” we had for the bride. I was like “Hey, if you don’t want to do one, pass it to me and I’ll do it because I’m WILD AND KAH-RAAZY and I DON’T EVEN CARE!” HA! HA! They whipped out the “Start a conga line” card and I was like “Hell to the no on that!” You see, I was in the midst of My People and I refused to bring shame to them. Like, what kind of a Mexican would I be if I busted out in a conga line during “Lean Back?”
Can I get a “Viva La Mexico?”
We decided to move along to a different place where we could annoy men (to help my friend complete her dares) and drink of The Devil Water. We ended up at a place called “The Palms” or something like that, I don’t know, I wasn’t paying attention.
It was at this point in the night I became completely aware that I was “The Fat Girl” of the group and pretty much of the entire club and, once again, wanted to run to the bathroom and cry. BUT! Instead, I drank lots of alcohol and pretended to be totally ok with the big, fat body I was sporting.
I almost forgot about it when when guy approached me to ask me if I was single.
“No, I’m married.”
“Damn. Ok, but you’re HOT.”
“HA! HA! Right.”
*Whispers in my ear* “I’m going to give you my number anyway, beautiful.”
Isn’t that special? I kicked him in the vagina.
I decided to leave the group and hit the dance floor. The “underage” girl who got in using a cousins ID joined me and we danced our asses off with a guy named Victor who, for some reason, wanted us to find a way to get him invited to the wedding. I, in semi-drunkeness, was all “dude, don’t worry, you’re so there and I gave him my email address to prove that I meant it.
As if I have that kind of pull with my friends. I still think they only invited me because they wanted me to do The Worm if it got boring.
It never did get boring. The entire night was a blast, from start to finish and everywhere in between. Well, except the part where I wanted to kill myself because the only thing I can say when asked “So, what do YOU do?” is “Um, make tittymilk and stuff.”
Oh…OH! And the part where my friend got sick in the limo on the way home and DEMANDED that the limo driver pull over. On the freeway. At two something in the morning. When OTHER DRUNK PEOPLE ARE ZOOMING PAST YOU AT VERY HIGH SPEED AND YOU COULD POSSIBLY GET KILLED INSTANTLY IF THEY SWIRVED FOR ANY REASON.
Ok, and the part where I had to hold my friend’s hair up and pull it out of her face WHILE SHE PUKED because um, remember, I don’t even clean my children’s puke because I FEAR The Puke. But, everyone left and I had no choice but to take care of her, even if she was yelling at me the entire time. (“Leave me alone, Let me sleep here on the cold, hard floor! STOOOOPP ITTTT.”)
But other than THAT. Pure awesomeness.
It makes me wish that someone had thrown ME a bachlorette party.
I always miss out on all the fun stuff, man.

And now I want you to imagine what The One Where He Tells Me He Kissed a Girl will be like…

When my son walked through the door yesterday, after having broken the “no walking home” rule, I calmly asked him to sit down so we could talk.
I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I was conflicted about the situation.
The act of walking home isn’t a “bad” thing. He didn’t shoplift, or get in a fight, or snort crack. He walked home, with friends. HOWEVER, I had told me he wasn’t allowed to walk home.
So, I was upset that he had done something he knew he wasn’t supposed to do.
I started by telling him that I wanted to be clear that “walking home” wasn’t a bad thing, but the fact that he DISOBEYED ME was the reason I was upset.
At first, he tried to talk himself out of it. “You told me I could walk home if I had a friend with me.”
“That’s not what I said, Andrew. I said that perhaps I would consider letting you walk home IF you had a group of friends with you, but that for now, the answer is NO. Can I ask you why you didn’t just call BEFORE you took off walking?”
He put his head down and said “I knew you’d say no.”
“And you did it anyway?”
“Yes, because I really wanted to walk home with Ryan and Anthony, and I thought if I was with them, you wouldn’t get mad.”
I told him I needed a few minutes to think about what I was going to do.
“Mom, just know I’m sorry and I’ll never do it again.”
I spent a few minutes in my room, thinking of what to do with my son, the one I gave birth to almost 13 years ago, whom I love with every fiber of my being, whom I have spent my entire adult life protecting from anything that could possibly harm him. The one who is growing up TOO DAMN FAST.
I started to cry. I realized that the reason this upset me so much didn’t really have anything to do with the fact he broke the “no walking home” rule and almost everything to do with the fact that the little boy who emerged from my vagina after 2 hours of pushing, making me a momma13 years ago on March 3rd is no longer a little boy, but a budding young man.
Don’t get me wrong, he did disrespect me by breaking the rule, and that deserved to be dealt with, but, the fact of life is that kids do break rules from time to time. Even my perfect children. And yeah, I get upset and there are consequences, but this one act of disobedience is about much more than “not asking me first.” It’s about him growing up, becoming more independent, making big decisions…
It’s hard to put into words exactly what I’m feeling right now without sounding ridiculous. “He walked home without asking first, it’s NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.” I understand that, but this feeling that I have in the pit of my stomach the same feeling I had the summer before he began kindergarten.
I am not exaggerating when I say that I cried the entire summer. I couldn’t believe that MY BABY was no longer going to spend every day here with me, making me laugh, giving me kisses, making messes for me to clean up… I couldn’t even comprehend my mornings without him here with me. I cried every damn time I thought about him being gone for 4 hours a day.
And? I worried if I had spent enough quality time with him in his first 5 years of life. I should have taken him to the park more often! I should have read more books to him! I should have taken him to chuck e cheeses more often! I should have watched more movies with him! I should have cuddled him more!
I called my friend on one of my really “bad days” and told her that I felt like I hadn’t spent enough time with him. Her response? “STOP IT, you spend ALL of your time with him, you do fun things with him all of the time, you’ve been a great mom, DON’T YOU EVER QUESTION THAT.”
I’m having those feelings all over again. The feeling of “losing my baby boy to the big bad world”.
My heart is broken right now and I’m feeling a little lost.
I realize that I’m being very dramatic about this, but MY GOD IN HEAVEN I love that boy and I am scared as hell about all of the bad things that could happen to him as he becomes more independent.
I want to protect him, to keep him pure and innocent and the fact that I can’t do that for the rest of his life is a little hard to accept.
After a few minutes of thinking and crying and wondering what to do with He Who Disobeyed Me, I composed myself, walked into the kitchen, sat down next to him and talked to him.
I’m not going to go into the details of what happened when it was all said and done, but I will tell you that I know he won’t be doing anything like that anytime soon.
I also know that I need to sit down and reevaluate my “position” on the issue because the truth is that he probably is old enough to walk home with friends, but I just wasn’t willing to admit that until this very moment.

Mommy don’t play that.

My oldest son, who is in the seventh grade, just called me from his friends cell phone.
“Hey mom? I’m walking home from school with Ryan and Anthony.” He wasn’t calling to ask me permission, but rather to TELL me. He had missed the bus and was already on his way.
I’m very angry with him for making that decision on his own, especially since I’ve already told him he’s not allowed to walk home.
The school is not “far”, but it is far enough away that I’m not comfortable with him walking home. And it’s not just the distance that bothers me. It’s the fact he’ll have to cross several major streets. And, it’s the fact that he disobyed me. And, it’s the fact that I’m not used to him making bad decisions like that because he’s a really good kid. And it’s the fact that HE’S MY FIRST BABY. And it’s the fact that it’s only a matter of time before he’ll be telling me he wants to go on a date and can I buy him some shaving cream first so he can shave his Fuzzstache?
My mind is racing right now. What will the consequence be? And how much of his decision had to do with being afraid to tell his friends “Sorry, I can’t, my mom won’t allow me to.” And does that mean HE’S GOING TO DO THE POT IF SOMEONE OFFERS IT TO HIM, because if he can’t stand up to his friends about THIS, how do I know he’ll be strong enough to “say no to drugs?”
Perhaps I’m slightly overreacting, but you know what? This teenage business isn’t easy. The sense that I’m losing some of the control and influence I have over him and that his friends are gaining power over the decisions he makes is scaring the shit out of me.
I mean, we’ve talked about this many times and I’ve been VERY CLEAR on this subject. He knows he is ABSOLUTELY NOT ALLOWED to walk home. So, why was it so easy for him to disobey me and then call me to tell me that he was disobeying me?
I want the consequence to be severe enough that he thinks long and hard the next time he’s faced with a choice like this, but I don’t want to overreact either.
But I feel like this is serious. And like Oprah says, it’s not even about “walking home.” It’s about how easily he made a choice to go against the rules I set in place for his personal safety.
I feel like crying. I’m so disappointed in him. I realize that this is part of the “growing up” process, though. No kid is perfect. All kids make mistakes, but my job is to make sure that he learns from his mistakes. To try to steer him in the right direction and hope that the next time, he’ll make the right choice.

Perhaps a shower is in order.

Everytime I change my daughter’s poopy diaper, I make a big fuss about how horrible it smells.
I crinkle my nose up, start fanning my nose and say “Ewww, caca…ew”.
This morning, me and my daughter were laying on the bed, talking and being silly. I pulled her close to me to hug her and she unknowingly burried her face in my arm pit.
She pulled away, made a sour face, started fanning her nose and said “Ew… CACA… EWWW”
I think it’s safe to say my daughter just told me that my pits smell like shit.

Fuzzy

Yesterday, I was standing outside in the front walkway, waiting for my husband to come home from work.
I do that sometimes, because I miss him all day long and by the time 4 o’clock rolls around, I can not WAIT to see him and kiss his grubby face.
So, I’m standing out there, waiting and my oldest son, Andrew, walks out to talk to me. As he’s talking, I am drawn to his upper lip.
“Could it be?” I think to myself as I lean in a little closer.
“OH MY GOD, IT IS!”
He’s talking and I don’t hear a word he’s saying.
I interrupt him.
“ANDREW JOSIAH, YOU ARE GROWING A MUSTACHE. DID YOU KNOW THAT?”
“No I’m not!”
“Yes, you are. OH MY GOD.”
My son has A FUZZSTACHE!
As soon as Tony pulled up, I grabbed him by the arm and said “Look at Andrew’s lip and tell me if you see what I see.”
He looked. Closer.
“HA! He’s starting to grow a little mustache.”
“CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? OUR BABY HAS FACIAL HAIR!”
I suppose I shouldn’t be so shocked, considering he’s had Hairy balls since 2002.
But I am. Totally shocked, happy, excited because MY BOY IS GROWING UP! Sad, because MY BOY IS GROWING UP!
I was obsessed with it all night.
“How’s your ‘stache?”
“Stop it mom.”
“Hey, mom, do you know what my friend said while we were playing basketball yesterday?”
“Um, nice stache?”
“MOM!”
That’s all I talked about all night.
His Fuzzstache.
Because that’s a really big deal. I can’t get over it. I want to take a picture of it, but he won’t let me. Something about it being “embarassing”. Whatever.
The truth is, the older he gets, the more I respect his “privacy”. I don’t write a lot of things I want to write about him on here anymore (except to mention HAIRY BALLS EVERY CHANCE I GET) because I feel akward doing it now that he’s entering his “Teens.”
That’s right, in less than 2 months, “First baby will be thirteen years old.
And he will have the facial hair to prove it.

A party. With Balls. For my vagina.

Next weekend, I will be attending a “Passion party”.
Words can not even express THE PURE JOY I feel inside of my heart (and, let’s be honest, my vagina is pretty darn excited too.)
I have never been to one of these parties, but I once had a friend whose mother sold sex toys and such and man, did we have fun looking at them and trying to figure out what they were for. (We were pre-teen and very curious.)
I can GARUANTEE YOU that I will be laughing during the entire presentation because as much as I like to talk about my vagina and boinking, I will be very uncomfortable in a room filled with unfamiliar vaginas.
How WEIRD is it going to be when they start talking about BEN-WA BALLS (ha! ha! HAHA!) and I make eye contact with some woman who is thinking about buying them and I know she very well may be WALKING AROUND WITH SILVER BALLS UP IN HER TWAT?
The funny thing is that I remember seeing those in my friend’s mom’s collection of sex toys and I HELD THEM IN MY HANDS whilst pondering what a person could possibly do with cold, silver balls that would make them feel good in the places I wasn’t supposed to know about yet.
I get it now! BENWABALLS!
BALLS!
I am going to FREAK OUT, PEOPLE.
Especially if they whip out THE LOVE SWING.
love_swing.jpg
As if the swing itself isn’t enough to make me laugh until I piss myself, take a gander at the “description.”
Suspend your partner at the perfect height for making love standing or in those tricky positions that normally hurt your knees or back. Moving your partner is effortless, providing you both more energy for passion.
My first question on that one will be, “What’s the weight limit?” Because, does that look like it could safely hold ALL OF THIS? I mean, I think at my weight, one would have to have vaulted ceilings to NOT HIT THE GROUND the minute one sat down in anticipation for some KAH-RAAZY VERTICAL BOINKING.
I have seriously reverted back to around the age of 11 where I do not find these things sexy or exciting but,um, TOTALLY HILARIOUS.
I’m already dying here and there are still 8 DAYS until I actually am sitting in a room with women I don’t know looking at products that are going to quite possibly TOUCH AND OR BE STUCK INSIDE OF OUR VAGINAS.
There is no possible way I can be mature about this. I know, some of you are thinking “get a grip, woman, it’s not a big deal.” But, I have lived a sheltered life, a life in which my father was a pastor and um, we didn’t talk about “down there”.
The BEST PART about this is that right after The Party? We’re hopping in a limo and GOING CLUBBING.
Think about that for a minute.
Three o’clock, I’m all “So, what you’re telling me is that I stick that up me twat, and then bend over backwards whilst he’s licking this bubblegum oil off of my boobs?” Two hours later I’m in a club, on a dance floor, with strangers. Do you have any idea how much I’m going to want to run around telling everyone what I just learned?
“HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF BEN WA BALLS? DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU PUT THEM? WANT ME TO TELL YOU? HAHA!”
Y’all? This is has the potential to be the greatest night of my entire life.