When you lose weight, especially a significant amount of weight, people love to tell you how! amazing! you! look! omg! It’s nice to hear because losing a significant amount of weight is not easy to do and it’s nice to be recognized for hard work, yes? But, if you should happen to stop losing weight and gain weight back, it’s hard to NOT feel ashamed and or embarrassed.
Here’s the thing… EFF SHAME. EFF IT RIGHT IN THE UGLY FACE.
In the past year, I had a traumatic friendship break-up, lost my job and a huge portion of our household income, injured my knee and then injured my neck and shoulder. I was depressed, I was broke, I was scared and so I did what I did what I needed to do to cope emotionally. (Eat. A Lot.) I’m not saying I handled things in the best or healthiest way possible, I absolutely did not. But I did what gave me comfort at the time. It’s taken a lot of time, a lot of tears, a lot of conversations with my husband and a LOT of donuts, but I’m finally at a place where I can say that I’ve truly, completely let go. I’m ready to move on and to live my best life again. I’m ready to admit where I went wrong and to do better.
If I choose to hold onto the shame that I feel about letting myself get unhealthy again, I will not be able to move forward.
I have nothing to be ashamed about. I ate too much, I didn’t work out enough and I gained weight. It happened. I refuse to sit here and feel sorry for myself or feel like a terrible person. Instead, I choose to set goals, to make better choices and to get in shape again.
Here’s my “before and after.” The first photos are of when I was in shape, when I had lost weight and was no longer 199. The second pictures were taken today after my first boot camp class (big ups to Lindsay for hooking me up with a writing gig so boot camp is possible again!) Totally out of shape again, totally 199 pounds again (okay, I lie, 201 pounds) But TOTALLY MOTIVATED TO DO BETTER.
(I chose the LARGE size photo because IN YOUR FACE, SHAME.)