Blogging About Blogging on My Blog

In 2001, I started this blog.

By 2004, there were a lot of people reading this blog. At some point, it became what some may call “popular.” (You can punch me in the teeth for using that stupid word.) There were thousands of people stopping by to read what I was writing every single day. My posts would get a ton of comments (Super funny, smart, thoughtful comments.) I was actually proud of this blog and there aren’t many things in my life that I am proud of, believe me.

Then, something happened. Something I’ve never written about. I emailed privately with friends about it, but never addressed it here, publicly. This something that happened shook me up. It freaked me out. It made me question putting all of my business out here for all of the internet to read. I wasn’t mad about what happened, but I was sad about it. I learned that not everyone appreciated what I was writing and that people who didn’t even know me could hate me enough to be cruel to me publicly.

That Thing that happened definitely changed me, changed the way I approached blogging. I didn’t shut my blog down, or quit blogging, but I definitely was more guarded with what I put out there. The fear of people twisting my words into cruelly crafted posts or other type of assholery affected my ability to write my truth and put it out there for all to read.

Posting has been sporadic over the past couple of years and I’ve lost a lot of readers (justifiably so.) But, I’ve never been willing to fully let my blog go because of what it means to me. I’ve written my life in words for the past 11 years. I can go back and read what I wrote to my children on their birthday’s, there are things that my children said when they were little that are documented here forever. When my son graduated from high school, I printed out posts that I had written about him, put them in a book and gave them to him as a gift. He loved it and was grateful I had kept an account of his life as a kid. That alone is worth keeping this blog.

I recently agreed to do a series of sponsored posts in the hopes that it would inspire me to write more regularly. The topics would be something I have experienced through parenthood and it seemed like the perfect thing to get me through the funk and back into the habit of writing (while at the same time earning me much needed dolla bills to help cover some Child Related Expenses. Can you say Travel Ball/ Gymnastics?) It didn’t quite work out the way I had hoped. I found myself unable to get over the mental challenges that have pestered me over the past few years. However, over the past few days I’ve felt more inspired to write again and I like the way that it feels. I feel the urges that I used to feel to “write this down and hit publish.” I’m hoping this renewed desire to write will continue and that I will be able to put The Thing behind me once and for all and make this blog enjoyable/readable for an audience again.

14 thoughts on “Blogging About Blogging on My Blog

  1. Daniel

    I’m glad you’re posting again. Yours was one of the first I discovered when looking up this whole blogging thing, and I’ve always liked it. Keep the faith.

    Reply
  2. Mindy

    I’ve hung in here all these years – through the popular times mixed with absences then a few come backs here and there. I’ve cheered you on and cried over your son leaving. I’ve showed strangers videos of Gabby singing and when asked who she is by friends and family I always exclaim “a good friends adorable daughter!” I’ve felt guilty for those words, claiming a friendship where I didnt actually have permission from the other party involved but I always felt like pubically blogging was like an open ended friendship and your heart is big enough to let us all in. So thank you for sticking it out (and thank you google reader for making it easy for me to keep up with you!) I will gladly continue to follow as long as you choose to share. :)

    Reply
  3. Liz

    I have been reading (lurking) for a long time. I don’t even know how many years I’ve been reading. I remember your stories of potty training Gabby and running from store to store looking for a bathroom. I laughed picturing it (but am not laughing now as I deal with that with my 2nd child, ugh, what a pain!)

    Anyway, I’ve always been sad you don’t post so much anymore but I certainly enjoy reading about your beautiful family and watching them grow from afar. I especially love hearing about your son’s journey from graduation into the Marines, it is truly touching and heartwarming. I feel proud for you.

    I just wanted you to know that this long time reader is still here and will keep reading. Your sense of humor makes me laugh and your thoughts about your kids make me smile. Keep on keepin’ on.

    Reply
  4. Wacky Mommy

    I always enjoy reading your work, Y. There’s so much I can’t/don’t write about, too, i know what you mean.

    And it’s a little lonely, since Facebook ate the Internet.

    Reply
  5. Kristina

    Yvonne,
    I have been a reader since the time way before you switched to Joy Unexpected. Your blog has always been fun to read. It has made me laugh and it has made me cry. I do not comment much but always come back to see what you have been up to. I always loved how free you were and wished I could write on the internet too. I am far to fragile and never would have survived. Not sure where I was going with this but just wanted to let you know that some of us are still here rooting for you! I hope you can find your happy place on here again. I will help hold off the meanies if you need me. ;)

    Reply
  6. Deb

    I’m another lurker, who has been reading you from almost the beginning, but have never commented! I am SO happy that you are back to doing what you love. Please, don’t ever let those who live their lives finding fault in others, govern what you do with your life. Don’t let them take the joy of life away from you. They can’t hurt you…if you don’t let them. Pity them, pray for them, but don’t ever be afraid of them!!

    Reply
  7. Kyla

    While my blog was never popular like yours, I used to have considerably more commenters and as they’ve dwindled, I’ve contemplated closing up shop…but the truth is, I do it for ME, and I’ll keep doing it…readers or no. I don’t do it as often or with as much feeling as I used to, because I used to NEED it more…I used to be so scared and uncertain about life with K…but now I do it because I want to, not because I need to.

    Anyway, keep writing. I’ll still be reading!

    Reply
  8. Crystal

    I think I may have commented one time before, probably to help you realize I have an undying love with bean dip too (and yet I have been reading you for YEARS). I still check your blog at least 2x a week, just hoping for new material.

    Glad your back!!

    Reply
  9. Suzy Q

    As you know, I don’t have a blog. From what I’ve learned from other bloggers, though, it seems that everyone has some sort of troll who tries to destroy or ridicule what they’ve written.

    Stay strong, keep writing from your heart, and you will always have readers.

    xo

    Reply
  10. dana michelle

    In the summer of 2002 I was down-sized and in my search for work acquired my 1st (hand-me-down) computer from my brother-in-law. Later that year I stumbled upon my first blog and within a short time of that I found “Aged and Confused” and was hooked. Your blog helped get me through 14 months of unemployment and although I rarely comment anymore (working again and a marriage changed my free time significantly) I have never stopped reading you. There are a handful of blogs that I keep up with, but yours is still the first blog I check when I log on and your posts are always my favorites because of your wonderful sense of humor and your fierce love for your family. And the fact that you are an amazing writer who can make me laugh and cry and then laugh again in the same post.

    I plan on sticking around, so I hope you will, too! :)

    Reply
  11. Jen in MN

    I somehow discovered your blog back in, like, 2007. The first thing I read of yours was a post about not having hardly anything to wear (in light of a recent weight gain) and it really spoke to me. I find myself (again) in a similar position, post-second-baby. Just last week I had the epiphany that it was pretty disrespectful of myself to not even have a reasonably decent wardrobe to wear. Right now. At the size I currently am.
    I went shopping a few days later. I am happier already just because I took the time and a bit of money to respect myself.
    I have kept your blog in my bookmarks all these years because more than a few of your posts have resonated with me. Especially the self image and parenting ones.
    Keep up the great work! Keep hitting publish.

    Reply
  12. Shannon

    I think you’re awesome! I lost your blog for a couple years but then found it again (who loses a blog?). Very grateful that I found it again. You inspired me to have boudior photos done a couople years ago for my husband for our 20th anniversary. He was amazed. I was over weight. He adores me and I know that – however heavy I am. and btw – I’ve now lost 50 pounds (Yay me!) I totally relate to you in your weight struggles and raising your kids. Thanks for always keeping it real.

    Reply
  13. Wendy

    I have been reading your blog since almost the beginning and I will continue to read it for as long as you write it. You have an incredible gift of being able to put into words experiences, thoughts, emotions, moments-in-time. You have the power to make people laugh and cry and think. I wanted to take a moment to say Thank You Yvonne! Thank you for sharing your world with us. We really do appreciate it and I for one cant wait to see how the rest of your life evolves :)

    Reply

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