Today, my first born child became a legal adult.
I have tried to put my feelings about this milestone into words many times over the past few days, but every time I sit down to translate these feelings into words, I break down and cry. I have cried so many tears over the past few days. I want to be happy about this new phase in his life. I remember turning eighteen– it was thrilling! I want to be thrilled for my son. But, the thought that in just a few months this child of mine will be free to live the life he chooses is too much for me to process.
Earlier today my son walked into my room when I was looking at a photo album filled with his baby pictures. Tears were streaming down my face.
“Are you CRYING?” He asked.
“Yes! I am crying. I just can’t believe that my sweet little baby is eighteen years old. Why did you have to grow so fast?”
He shook his head and sighed. “Mom, that’s life. Stop crying.”
But I can’t. I just can’t stop crying.
I know these are selfish tears, but I am allowing myself to experience these emotions, to process them. I can only hope that in the very near future I can come to terms with having an adult child.
I can tell you that in spite of the tears, I feel tremendous pride for the son that I have raised. He is kind– a gentle soul. He is considerate, respectful and loving. He is slow to anger, quick to forgive. He has the best sense of humor and isn’t afraid to laugh at himself.
And man, is he good looking.
Happy 18th birthday my Nunu. You are the most wonderful son a mother could ask for. I promise I’ll stop crying. Eventually. Maybe.
Aw man… Why you gotta make ME cry? My baby is almost 18 MONTHS old and that number makes me weepy.. Looking at his baby pictures makes me tear up too. I feel 10th of your pain. (glad you’ve been blogging more lately)
Sniffle!! That was beautiful… and I can imagine being sad, yet happy, your baby is a grownup. You did a great job, Mama!
Oh Y….I could’ve written this myself. My son is about to turn 18 in a few weeks. I just am in disbelief also. But at the same time SO GRATEFUL. 18 years with such a son are so much more than I deserve. We are so blessed. But I miss my baby boy, I miss my 5 year old starting t-ball for the first time. I miss my goofy 11 year old…I want all of those boys back. I miss them so much. There is no escaping that. I am going to take your advice and let the tears fall and I’m going to thank God for who my son is today…like yours is to you, my son is my pride and joy and such a gift to me and my husband and his sisters.
Happy Birthday to your boy! And happy bittersweet day you became a mom of an adult…I’m right behind you.
Haha he is a pretty handsome young man! Happy birthday, young sir.
Happy birthday to your son. 🙂
I was just thinking today (while I was in a NyQuil induced haze) how quickly children grow up. My son is already six years old, and I got misty eyed thinking about when he was a baby. Time goes by way too damned fast.
My baby girl just turned 19 yesterday and I’m still marveling at this fact. I know how it feels to watch them grow up and walk away. Just be glad you’ve raised a son who will look over his shoulder as he does and will always know his way home because of the love you’ve given him as he’s grown into such an amazing young man.
Happy Birthday to your son! Having our babies grow up is the hardest part of being a parent, but you did an awesome job. Hope you all had a wonderful day.
P.S. your son shares a birthday with my nephew (he turned 17). Both of them are awesome kids. 🙂
i’m crying……how touching! Good job Mom (and Dad) on raising your boy into a wonderful young man! My older son will be 11 this Saturday and I feel a lot of the same feelings. I wish I could just freeze him at age ten forever. The teen years and middle school in the fall is horribly scary to me! HAPPY birthday to your boy!
Add me to the list of snifflers. Well said, Y, well said.
Change that sidebar “About Y” thing, lady. You know it’s time to update now that you have a grown adult as an offspring.
He really IS good looking. And kind. (I got that just from seeing his face. That is a good looking, kind man.) (YES. MAN.)
Happy Birthday to you both!
My last one is about to turn 20. It’s hard, letting them go, isn’t it?
The one nice thing, my oldest just turned 21, and she can go to the liquor store for Mommy.
🙂
It’s nice, seeing your hard work actualized when they turn into good, productive adults, isn’t it?
You got me…I started out feeling like saying “get over it already…” Then I too ended up in tears…
Love how you put into words the real feelings of parenthood. Thanks…
Congratulations. You’ve both done an awesome job getting him to 18 🙂
Oh man. Congrats to you and your newly minted 18 year old.
Does it help to remind you that you certainly don’t look as if you have an adult child?
Congratulations – really!
You’ve raised a good person and that’s all any of us can ask for.
Okay, so I have 4 years until this is me…but it has already started freaking me out a little. My time with them being only MINE isn’t long enough.
Happy birthday to your son and congratulations on such a fine boy. 🙂
OH I know the feeling, I still have 2 years to go but I have been the same way the past few weeks when my son got his license. I just can’t let him go. Its nice to know there are others out there that share the same emotion as I do. Its also nice to know someone has a teen in bloggy land, I was starting to feel so old as almost everyone has young children.
Look what you did! He’s awesome. And you played a huge role in that. Cry all the tears you want to. I plan on it when my time comes. In fact, I will be crying soon because my oldest is no longer a Kindergartner and my baby starts Kindergarten. I hope my boy is as wonderful as yours when he turns 18. Hugs.
Oh dear I am a day late but a big Happy Birthday to him. 18! Mine are 22 & 24 and it really pisses me off! 🙂
You are SUCH a good mom, Y. 18!! I can’t believe it!!
Happy 18th Birthday to Andrew!
I’ve been reading about him here since he was 9, so I kind of feel like I’ve watched him grow up myself. And you’re right, he’s a very handsome young man. Great job, Y! 🙂
You have put into words my exact thoughts! My son will be 18 this summer and I am having such a hard time with it. by the time I realized that I needed to slow down and just enjoy every minute with my kids, it is almost too late. So heartbreaking! Time flies by so very very fast!
OMG – You took the words out of my mouth, but you said it all much more eloquently. My kiddo turns 18 in July and I tear up just thinking about it. I’m actually kind of glad to learn I’m not alone in this. It’s all part of life (but I’m not ready!!). I just thought this parenting gig would last so much longer. No one tells you at the beginning (which can feel endless with the sleepless nights) that it all passes in the blink of an eye. Best wishes for a wonderful birthday to your son! You have written a beautiful tribute here.
You did a wonderful job as a mother. He will understand those tears when it’s his turn.
I know I do now that I have a son.
Why you gotta go making me cry at work. I will be where you are in 4 years and I can’t even begin to fathom…
Why is it so hard to watch them grow. At first we’re so anxious for all of the milestones to come then we’re digging our heels in the dirt trying to stop time.
Aww, happy birthday to your sweet boy.
Hello, I’ve been in tears for nearly a month now…..today I was so grateful to find your blog. At least I know that this is normal………
My firstborn will be 18 next month. I have sooo many mixed emotions.
Can. Not. Believe. how fast it goes! He was 13 when we met! Aaaaaaaa
Happy b-day Andrew!
OMG, I feel the same way! My baby boy turned 18 yesterday! Standing in the store picking out birthday cards literally sobbing! I also am grateful for the wonderful person my son has become! But that doesn’t ease my pain. I am wondering how I will deal with what is coming next summer when he goes away to college?! This last year together is one of precious “lasts”. Last first day of school, last opening HS soccer game, school pics, etc. I know in the blink of an eye it will be last night at home before college. Just really trying to enjoy every minute!