The Day I Turned 38

I woke up at 5:30 to a kiss from my husband. “Happy Birthday, Mama.” He said, as he caressed my butt cheek. He can’t help it. He loves my butt so much. I said thank you and went back to sleep. At 6:15, The Teenager woke up to get ready for school. Normally, I’d be up and working already. But it’s my birthday, so I took the day off. He walked over and said “Happy Birthday, Mom.” And then, he kissed me on the forehead. It was the most precious thing, because he’s very reserved with his emotions. So the unexpected kiss got me RIGHT HERE in the heart. As he walked away, I thanked him and then I cried. BECAUSE MY SON KISSED ME ON THE FOREHEAD. Ethan and Gabby woke up shortly after and both wished me a happy birthday. Ethan’s wish came with a hug and a “let’s go out to dinner!” Gabby’s came with a beautiful handmade card that said “RRSW Y AHAFFAB” Which she explained means “Happy Birthday, Mom. You’re the best Mom in the world and I love you so so so so so so so so so much.”
I only told you that story so that you would know that’s “It’s my birthday today!”
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Normally, I don’t like to make a fuss out of my birthday. I don’t walk around drawing attention to it. I’m not all “hey, everyone! It’s my birthday!” But when someone pointed out that this year my birthday falls on 09.09.09, I went All Nerd and was like “I’M GOING TO TELL EVERYONE IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!” because 09.09.09 is awesome.
So, guess what, everyone? It’s my birthday!
A few people have asked me if I’m doing anything special and the answer is no. Not today. I love my husband, but he’s The Worst at Planning Things For My Birthday. For instance, he just called me right now and goes “so, what do you want for your birthday? I need to know so I can take the boys after school to get you something.” That’s pretty much my birthday every single year. And every single year I’m like “why did you wait til the last minute to get me a present” and every single year his answer is “I ran out of time yesterday.” Because, you know, the day before the birthday is THE ONLY DAY OUT OF THE ENTIRE YEAR that he can go shopping for my birthday present. It’s not a big deal though, really. I stopped crying and being sad about it around the 8th year of our marriage. I just accepted that was how it’s going to be. And I started reciprocating. This year, I drove to Target the day of his birthday and bought him a CD and was all “Happy Birthday!”
We’re good at marriage.
So. Yeah. It’s my birthday. And there’s really nothing else to say about that. Except that I think you should write me a poem.
No. Seriously. You should.

70 thoughts on “The Day I Turned 38

  1. Jennifer

    Happy Birthday
    to Joy Unexpected,
    the epitome of
    blogging perfected.
    Okay- perfect?
    Maybe not.
    But, damn it girl
    you know you’re hot!
    Hope 9-9-9
    is best one yet,
    but a present from me?
    This is all you get!
    Sorry, I’m poor! :)
    Have a good one!

    Reply
  2. Angi

    Roses are red
    And some are pink
    For your birthday today
    I’m wishing you a Starbucks drink.
    (It’s horrible, but it’s what you said you wanted.And I don’t poet well under pressure and since I too waited until the last minute, that’s what you get)
    Happy Birthday, Hope the rest of your day is as amazingly wonderful as the start of your day seemed.
    Angi

    Reply
  3. TeacherMommy

    i wanted to write you a lovely poem
    on this, your birthday
    the day being special for both
    the advent of your birth
    and numerical alignment
    i had hoped to make it witty
    or at least beautiful
    as a reflection of you
    but my mind has been fried
    so this will have to do
    nevertheless, i declare
    this is a marvelous day
    for thirty-eight years ago
    the world received into its fold
    an unexpected joy!

    Reply
  4. Redneck Mommy

    Another candle on your cake?
    Well, that’s no cause to pout.
    Be glad that you have strength enough
    To blow the damn thing out.
    Happy Birthday Y. May it be your best year yet.
    Smooches.

    Reply
  5. Annika

    While I was reading this
    I got an email from WordPress
    A held blog comment
    From someone selling cheese
    They must have known
    Happy Birthday
    From me and the cheese

    Reply
  6. Jenny

    Happy Birthday to you
    I have hypothyroid too!
    I enjoy reading your stories,
    The nice and the gory(s?)
    And you don’t look like my cousin Lou!
    What do I win?

    Reply
  7. amber of theambershow

    I think it’s great
    You’re turning 38.
    I hope your present rocks,
    And isn’t lame, like socks.
    It’s cool your husband likes your booty
    He sounds like a total cutie.
    Here’s to hoping you get laid.
    Happy Birthday!

    Reply
  8. Avalea

    This girl, Y
    Yeah she so fly
    She runnin’ round town
    On a birthday high
    She writes on the left
    And she tweets on the right
    To everyone she knows
    She radiates light
    Lookin so fresh
    At only 38
    Guys get confused
    Thinkin’ she’s jailbait
    That girl, Y
    I’ll toast her with wine
    Wishing her the best
    on Nine Nine Nine!
    Happy Birthday Gal!

    Reply
  9. kim

    i got something german for you :)
    wie schön dass du geboren bist,
    wir hätten dich sonst sehr vermisst.
    happy, happy birthday and a bit, wet smooch! xoxo

    Reply
  10. Jen @ lifelove'n'wine

    There once was a girl named Yvonne
    Who’s posts make me laugh, never yawn
    She’s a real hoot
    And lovely to boot
    And I love reading about her spawn.
    Yeah, I should be a poet…happy birthday!
    Oh and the whole “I ran out of time yesterday” thing? I’m sorry but hahahahahahaha…made me laugh so hard. Because…typical.

    Reply
  11. Candy

    Aww, happy birthday Y, on this the day of the Beatles! My birthday is the same day as George Harrison, so we’re practically sisters.
    My husband used to buy my Mother’s Day present ON MOTHER”S DAY. Like WHEN THE STORES OPENED. So I’d wake up on Mother’s Day and there would be no gift, no card, no nada, until after 10AM. I cried that year, and then gave it up. Because really? I’m not his mother.
    My kids drive now, and they’re a lot better about it than he is.

    Reply
  12. Jamie

    Happy birthday, Y!
    You know you’re kind of fly.
    Do people still say fly?
    Well maybe that one weird guy.
    Anyway, I hope you have the best time,
    Too bad I’m not in Cali so we can celebrate with wine!
    Wow, that might be the worst poem ever. But it’s the though that counts! Happy happy birthday! xoxo

    Reply
  13. Bonnie

    I am a reader
    That follows you through Google Feeder.
    And did you know that no words rhyme with lurker?
    Happy Birthday! Plus … there is no way I can compete with the poems above.

    Reply
  14. Alice

    This lady named Y is so great,
    On this birthday she turns thirty-eight.
    Her well-wishers are many,
    Accolades – she’s got plenty!
    She’s surrounded by love on this date.
    And a total hee! to the ‘ran out of time yesterday’ thing. So true …

    Reply
  15. The New Girl

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    It just isn’t fair
    That I’m older than you.
    Happy, happy day.
    My husband and I are the same way about birthdays. And anniversaries. And Valentine’s day. ETC.
    xo

    Reply
  16. Kathy from NJ

    OH-9 OH-9 OH-9
    I hope your day is divine
    Filled with glasses of wine
    Aged, not right from the vine
    Happy Birthday!

    Reply
  17. Andrea

    Happy 38th Birthday to Y
    As a lurker, I’m feeling quite shy
    Your photography’s blossomed
    (Your) Blog is so friggin’ awesome
    Hey, at least I gave it a try!
    HAPPY B’DAY Y! I hope my 38th is as great in a few months!

    Reply
  18. anon

    I don’t have a poem for you but want to wish you a happy birthday! I am delurking all over the place today.
    I also saw you commented somewhere–Mamapop? it hurt you in your vagina? I just knew that was you. haha.
    I love your blog. LOVE it. love your pics too.
    and you were such a cute little baby, such sparkle in your eyes, then and now!
    Have a wonderful day!

    Reply
  19. Jenn

    There once was a woman named Yvonne
    and she loved to get her freak on
    She’ll do the worm
    to hype up your sperm
    but back off, she’s taken, you creep.

    Reply
  20. Christine

    Whoa! I screwed up my haiku!
    Since it’s your birthday
    I wrote you this fantastic
    Haiku. Lucky girl!
    There. Better. Now I can sleep at night with my English major self.

    Reply
  21. Emmy

    Y has many a clever reader,
    Stole all the good words,
    And I’m left on the streeter.
    Girl – want you to know that you rock,
    But sorry to say -
    I can’t rhyme to save my clock.
    So, have a happy birthday today,
    and may this year be the best -
    you are a fan favorite in a big way!
    It sucks, I know – but have a great 38th!!!

    Reply
  22. Heather

    She’s real fine,
    Miss nine-oh-nine
    Her words sublime
    and something to rhyme
    because I just don’t do
    that modern poetry crap.
    Also, she takes beautiful pictures
    And tells stories that leave me in stitches
    Miss 9/09

    Reply
  23. blairzoo

    have a fabulous day,
    it’s not the month of May,
    all those 9′s in a row,
    means you’re no regular ‘joe’,
    you deserve the very best,
    (and I’m jealous of your chest),
    thanks for sharing your heart,
    it makes it OK to fart,
    I love reading your blog,
    I like you more than a frog!
    Happy Birthday!

    Reply
  24. shyvonne

    Happy Birthday, today is my husband’s birthday too, he is great and so are you. I know that was lame . Happy Birthday

    Reply
  25. Ree

    There once was a blogger named “Y”,
    Who turned 38 today. My.
    She’s a sweet little thing,
    With a flair and a zing,
    Many happy returns, by and by.
    XXOO Happy Birthday!

    Reply
  26. Donna

    Y turned 38 on 09-09-09.
    She sometimes thinks her life is out of control,
    but really, no seriously, it is just fine!
    I’m wishing her a happy birthday with this rhyme, cause she thought I could.
    Now really, Y, tell me, do you still think I should?
    This has been kinda silly, but heartfelt all the same.
    Have a wonderful rest of your birthday,
    Even though this poem is lame. :)
    I know… it sucks big hairy ones, but I do wish you a wonderful day!

    Reply
  27. Denise

    you told me to write you
    a poem so I will do
    whatever you say
    today is your day
    have some cake and shed a tear
    give thanks for a great year
    hug the hubbs kiss the kids
    think back on all you did
    okay that’s all peace out my friend
    this poem is thankfully at its end
    hahaha
    God bless you, Y…you are cool beans.
    and you were a very cute baby.
    love! Denise

    Reply
  28. Pam

    Hot butt
    Not a slut
    But gives it up for Wild Vines
    New post
    Birthday boast
    Gotta love them 9′s
    Day late
    Don’t hate
    I hadn’t been online
    Hunt a pig
    Hug the kids
    Balance a cup on that behind
    Thirty-eight
    Damn straight
    Yvonne, you’re lookin’ fine
    Eat cake
    Get laid
    Happy birthday; have some wine :) A little freestyle for your day-after. Happy birthday, Y!

    Reply
  29. Leah

    I can’t write poems and it flashes me back to 4th or 5th grade when we had to write a haiku and I was crying in class because I was so frustrated. Anyway hope you had an awesome birthday!!

    Reply
  30. Lena

    Even though I told you yesterday, I want to say HAPPY B-DAY!!!! here for posterity’s sake. Plus, I just love typing “posterity”. I feel important.
    Can’t wait to see you tomorrow! Jay Mohr better not ignore me for your cleavage…AGAIN.

    Reply
  31. Jackie Hall

    Roses are read violets are blue I’m 38 and now so are you.
    LOL… Hope you had a wonderful birthday. You share the same birthday (not year obviously) as my granny.

    Reply
  32. heather...

    Aw snap. I am trying to get your birthday wish in before your birthday is over. A poem is so much pressure!
    I love you lots
    You’re super hots
    eat tater tots
    cuz it’s your b day.
    Love you!

    Reply
  33. Burnurcomputer

    Amber roses shining in the sun of the evening
    Boys screaming as they play
    Girls giggling
    The bathroom is dirty, the dishes undone
    Deep voices speak in urgent tones to each other
    Trying to understand one another and sighing
    Sitting with bean dip and Starbucks
    Smiling as you listen to the sounds of your life

    Reply
  34. P

    Oh yay, your comments are working again! I wrote this last week and saved it until I could post it:
    Hot butt
    Not a slut
    But gives it up for Wild Vines
    New post
    Birthday boast
    Gotta love them 9′s
    6 days late
    Don’t hate
    I hadn’t been online
    Hunt a pig
    Hug the kids
    Balance a cup on that behind
    Thirty-eight
    Damn straight
    Yvonne, you’re lookin’ fine
    Eat cake
    Get laid
    Happy birthday; have some wine :) A little freestyle for your day-after-after-after-after-after-after. Happy birthday, Y!

    Reply
  35. Kim Tracy Prince

    OMG. Does this mean I have that acceptance in my future? I am on year 7 of the same exact thing with my husband. It makes me so mad I have no poem.
    BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. You’re older than me by 21 days. HA.

    Reply
  36. Nancy R

    I finally emailed a list of ideas, sorted into lists of expensive and inexpensive (with links!) to my husband. It sucks when you’re a skilled, thoughtful gifter and your spouse isn’t.

    Reply
  37. heartfull

    My oldest was born on 09-09-99! She shares a birthday with one of her mom’s favorite bloggers :) .
    We took her (and the rest of the family) to Chicago and did the extravaganza that is American Girl Place as her birthday gift – we bought her Kaya and she used birthday money for the tepee/dog/bed roll. And then the money was gone and mom treated her and her sister to lunch with their dolls.

    Reply

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