Thank you, MTV.

A couple of weeks ago my daughter found a picture of herself from her Birth Day. She started to ask a bunch of questions, but mostly she was concerned with the blood on her legs.
“Is that the blood from when they cut your stomach open to get me out?”
“They didn’t cut my stomach to get you out.”
“Then how did I come out?”
(Fun Conversations With Kids!)
“You came out of my vagina.”
“ARE YOU KIDDING?” She said, in a tone that suggested she was TOTALLY BLOWN AWAY.
“No, I’m not kidding.”
“But how did I fit?”
I did my best to explain. I think I used words like “stretch” and also “cut a little with scissors.”
She actually asked me if the doctors had a “pachina sewing kit to fix my pachina up.”
Anyway. She’s brought it up a few times since we talked about. Like, we’ll be out shopping and out of the blue she’ll say something like “Mommy, did the doctor have to cut your pachina a little to get me out of your tummy?”
Tony was like “why did you tell her that?” You know, I could have made up some cute little stories about how babies magically float out of your stomach in a Bubble of God Love or something. But that’s not how I roll. I’ve always been honest with my kids when it comes to How Our Bodies Work.
Yesterday I was watching 16 & Pregnant while the kids were outside with PigHunter. G walked in to grab a drink just as the girl was giving birth.
She stopped. Stared at the TV.
“She’s pushing her baby out of her Pachinee, Mommy!” She shrieked. “Is that what it was like when you pushed me out of your pachinee?”
“Yep. That’s how you came out. Just like that.”
She stood there to watch and it was like suddenly, IT ALL MADE SENSE– her very own “A-ha! Moment.”
She grabbed her drink, walked out of the room without saying a word. Twenty minutes later, she walked back in and handed me a picture and said “This is from the day you had me.”
She hasn’t asked another question since.

62 thoughts on “Thank you, MTV.

  1. mackenzie

    wooow that is an awesome drawing. At first I thought your eyes were wincing in pain but I think that’s just your eyelashes? Love the detail given to the BOOBS, too.

  2. cindy w

    I saw your tweet earlier today that mentioned this drawing, but I have to say, it’s like a THOUSAND times more awesome than I was thinking.
    Also, how is Gabby old enough to draw pictures with, like, actual people in them? When did that happen?

  3. Krys S

    That is absolutely hilarious. My 5 y/o stepdaughter is currently obsessed with drawing anatomically correct stick figures, since her mom had a little boy and she realizes girls and boys are so different. And she’s vveeerrryy generous, lol – But I love drawings like that because it really shows how they interept things.
    I love 16 & Pregnant. I hope they do more after those 6 girls! Thanks for sharing this with us!

  4. Valerie

    By George, I think she’s got it! Quite the little artist! When I told my daughters where they came out of, one of mine yelled, “I CAME OUT OF YOUR VIRGINIA!?!?!” Love it!

  5. Nina

    I love this. Great use of detail (the eyelashes, the toes, the lines on the monitor! your perky boobs!). Splendid piece.

  6. Jessica

    My five year old niece has been asking how my son got out of my tummy. If she would have asked me, I would have told her but she asked her mom and Gramma and they are both hesitant to tell her the whole truth. I wish they’d just tell her, it’s not a shameful thing and it’s better to tell the truth than lie!

  7. Helen

    my 7 year old son asked the other day, ” where do babies come from?”
    “From inside mummy, from my womb”
    “well yes, I know THAT, what I really want to know is how they get IN their”
    ” well, daddy has a seed and mummy has an egg”
    “Oh that is absolutely ridiculous!”
    He changed the subject then, which is good because the next part would SO have sounded even more ridiculous.
    Brilliant picture!

  8. Erika

    HAHAHAHA! I remember asking my mom where and how babies came out when I was a little kid, and she gave me some round-about answer about a c-section. I was confused and thought all babies come out of a special flap in your stomach until about 5th grade!
    Good for you for being a straight shooter with your answers! It’ll save some awkwardness later on!
    Sweet drawing too. :)

  9. supertiff

    i hope you hang that up on your fridge.
    in other news, yesterday i was rollerblading with my nine-year-old niece, and she’s all: “tiffany, can i ask you a pewsonal question?”
    (yes, she’s nine and she still doesn’t make the ‘r’ sound right, but i think it’s super adorable and i will cry when she grows out of it.)
    so, i was like: “of course, claudia! you can always ask me anything you want!”
    unsuspecting me.
    so then she goes: “have you ever had sex?”
    i’m 31. i live with my boyfriend. so, we all know the answer to this. and i have no problem telling her the truth…in fact, i would prefer to tell her the truth, just like you with G, but i am terrified that my brother will be mad at me, because he’s never told me if it’s ok to talk about stuff like that with his kids. probably because we didn’t think this was a talk that we’d need to be having yet.
    so, anyway. i said: “yes, i have had sex before.”
    because what else was i supposed to say?
    and she said: “but you’re not married!”
    and now i’m in trouble, because i have to take her back to her parents tomorrow and i know she’s going to tell on me.
    please send help.

  10. Edie

    Ahhh, this reminds me of when my daughter was about G’s age and my best friend was pregnant. She asked us how the baby was going to get out and like you, I told her the truth. I saw no reason to make up stories. She looked from one of us to the other like we were crazy and then yelled: NO WAY!
    Fabulous artwork indeed!

  11. Bill

    Well I would have bet I’d left a comment already, but your tweet shamed me into checking. Where am I? :)
    The drawing is great, and I love the blue scrubs. Although it’s clear to us art aficionados that you have 2 arms and no legs instead of one of each. And the “little voice” makes me laugh the most!
    P.S. – You’re stacked!

  12. Lindsay

    Bubble of God Love? AWESOME.
    And this picture is like the best drawing ever! I love your facial expression. I think you have a budding artist on your hands. 😀

  13. The Redhead Riter

    I’m laughing my head off!
    I remember when I had to explain to my daughter the whole birds and bees talk…she rolled her eyes and told me I was gross…LOL
    ☼Hope you’re having a sunshine ☼ filled Sunday!☼

  14. Amber

    AHh Y, i loved this post sooo much. I read it to the hubster (and the 4yr old son) and he loved the story, BUT the picture took it well over the top. IT was so sweet & totally unforgettable :) Your one lucky mama!
    BTY: I’ve always been the same way with my boys too!

  15. Beth

    I’m loving that heart. Very cool. I also like how the doctor and Gabby are smiling and you’re all “AGH!” ;^)

  16. Lena

    I love your X eyes and open mouth. Like she’s figuring out that had to HURT.
    And how she and the doctor are heading off together. Probably to find LIPSTICK.

  17. Stephanie

    Wow- just speechless- yes I’m speechless Maybe together you two should write a book about where babies come from.

  18. amy walters

    love 5 year olds! mine is all about my impending birth of her baby brother or sister…she tellls EVERYONE that i am going to have the baby come out of my bagina….oye!
    love your blog y…and your pictures are amazing!

  19. Abra Leah

    My Chloe (5) and I just had this conversation a few weeks ago. I’m glad I’m not the only one honest with her kid!! FABULOUS picture!! :)

  20. Therese

    Awesome story! I recently gave birth to my first child. While still pregnant, my 5 year old niece asked how the baby was getting out. I gave a simple “I’ll push him out.” answer at first…not enough…”push him from where?”. I then said “out of my vagina.” Well, that was an interesting look! THEN, she asked “what happens if you can’t push the baby out of your vagina?” (how would she even know that might happen…?) I told her “well, the doctor will cut into my belly and pull the baby out.” She gasped, covered her mouth with her hand and said “I think you better push that baby out!” It was hilarious!

  21. kris

    My daughter, and thus my son, both got “China” from the word vagina….you can imagine the horror when they discovered that China was ‘also’ a country. My daughter could NOT understand why they just wouldn’t change their name.
    Side note – my son freaked out when he eavesdropped on my ‘girlie’ conversation with my daughter. He finally admitted to being terrified of wearing a tampon. Served him right for eavesdropping!! :)

  22. bzmomma

    That picture is a classic!! ahahaha…I am cracking up! But, I am not looking forward to the day my girls ask me questions like that…lol…I only hope I can explain them without freaking them out or cracking up or what have you!

  23. Shannon

    Love it!
    I video taped my births and the kids watch them every year on their birthdays. Always full of questions. I think its very cool. Oh and Im totally addicted to 16 and pregnant!

  24. Cindi

    Keep that drawing and show it to her when she’s older.
    What a great story! She’s obviously a visual learner. I’m totally with you on not making up some crazy story, but giving them the truth, a little bit at a time, as they can handle it.

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