Because I want you to be traumatized for life with me.

Yesterday I called PigHunter while he was on his way home from work to ask him if he’d pick up G from Grandma’s house.
“Babe, I can’t pick her up in my car. I think something died in here.”
“Why do you think something died in your car?”
“Because, oh my GOD, it smells so bad in here. It smells like death! Something died in my car!”
(Back story: His car had been parked at the equipment yard for about 2 weeks. He picked it up on Friday but it’s been sitting in the driveway until he left for work yesterday morning.)
I waited outside for him to get home. When he pulled up, he was all “oh my God, it’s disgusting, I have to find whatever it is.”
I watched from a distance as he opened the truck. I was totally and completely freaked out at the idea of something having died and rotting in his car so I kept my distance and pestered him from a far.
“Do you see anything? Is there anything there? What is in there? Anything dead in there?”
“Not yet, but I KNOW there’s something in here.”
The longer he searched without finding anything, the less freaked out I felt about it and the more I began to think PigHunter may be a liiiiiiiittle crazy. I finally got the nerve to walk up to the car to see what this awful smell was that my husband was talking about. All of the windows and doors were open, so I got as close as my fear of dead things would allow me and took a little sniff.
“It doesn’t smell bad.” I said.
“Oh yes it does, get closer. Sit down in the back and sniff.”
“Oh hell no. I will not do that. But I’m telling you, I don’t smell anything from where I’m at.”
Two minutes later he’s all “DEAD BABY MOUSE ON THE FLOOR!” and I was all “YOU’RE LYING!” and he was all “I swear, come look!” and I was all “You’re LYING YOU LIAR!”
But he wasn’t lying. Laying on the floor in the back of his car was a dead baby mouse. I may have ran away screaming because DEAD BABY MOUSE IN HUSBAND’S CAR.
He searched for more, but that was all he could find. But I warned him that there were more. There had to be more. Because what the chances that a single, teeny, tiny probably just born baby mouse had happened to find it’s way into his car and die?
So, he tore his poor, old, little car apart.
007
And underneath the carpet, he found 6 more of these:


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OH LOOK! A PUPPY!!
Auto, the (not my) Puppy
I’m not sure that I’ll ever be able to take a ride in that car again for as long as I live.

53 thoughts on “Because I want you to be traumatized for life with me.”

  2. Melody

    Oh my gosh!!! I would have a heart attack. Poor babies. 🙁 I wonder if the mom just couldn’t get back in or something. STINKY!!

  6. ella

    *gasp*
    Oh my…
    Thanks for clearing out my brains harddrive with the puppy picture.
    Last summer my husbands truck smelled like something had died in it. He too took it apart but we found nothing. We were just sure we would find a mouse. I’m glad we didn’t but we will never know what might have died in it.
    *shudder*

  11. Jessica

    Lord, the stench! We’ve had mice die under our house before, and the stank is just…..uggggh. I feel so bad for your hubby.
    The puppy is lovely though. 😀

  12. Kyla

    Oh no! Poor babies. Poor PigHunter’s vehicle, too.
    And also? MY EYES!
    (not really, we dissected a pregnant cat in A&P last semester and fetal kittens look an awful lot like that there mouse baby…so my eyes have already been inoculated.)

  13. Brandi

    SIX?!?! I would not go in that car again either! Hell no!
    I used to work in the office of my grandfather’s moving company in podunk Iowa. There was a corn field right next to the property and one year I found mice constantly in the office after a harvest. 13 sightings in a week! Traumatized for life.

  14. Creepy Mommy

    Oh, how sad and disgusting. I mean sad because, ahhh poor dead baby mice. And disgusting because it is.
    Kyla, dead cat!? WTF? Jesus… I feel ill. I might just die.
    You dog is super cute.

  15. SmartassMom

    Great, totally traumatized. And now I have this weird need to check under the carpet in my car, even though there is no pungent smell.

  17. Lori

    Oh, so sad, the tiny baby mice! Poor little—Ooh a puppy!
    I see what you did there, v. clever!

  18. M&Co.

    Eeeewwwww.
    Though I am impressed that he could take his seats out and then get them back together. My brother can do that, but I can’t ever get him to do that for me.
    And cute puppy. Is it yours?

  19. Y

    My husband can pretty much do anything. he’s amazing.
    And I WISH the puppy was mine, but, it’s not. It’s my brother’s.

  21. perksofbeingme

    First Tanis with the cat placenta, and you with the dead baby mouse, I won’t be eating for a week thank you very much.
    but thank you for at least adding the puppy

  22. jadine

    Gah!
    I once was sitting in the waiting area at a car-repair place, and while I was there, an older couple came in to find out what the yucky smell was in their SUV. Oh, and some of the electrical stuff (radio, windows, door locks) weren’t working.
    Long story short, they had parked the vehicle in the grass at their farm for a couple weeks, and the inside of the car (inside the doors, inside the roof-liner, in the seats, in the engine-y parts, etc.) was full of mice and mouse nests… dead ones, live ones, young ones, old ones….
    The insurance company ended up coming by to check it out, and they totaled the vehicle! The mechanic dudes were totally grossed out (which was rather amusing). I felt really bad for the mousies, but you can’t drive around like that 🙂

  23. jennifer

    It is amazing how something to small can stink so bad. We had one of our gerbils missing for 2 days and guess where we found him… he crawled underneath and in the bottom of the frig! I know!! My hubby had to take the back off, fish him out and take the insulation that he was laying on and throw it out.. it was horrible! But thankfully it faded pretty fast.

  25. elizabethk

    I totally can’t see a puppy picture – am I s’posed to and just experiencing a huge brain fart, or not getting the joke. Is this entry in pig latin!? ;P
    Time for a new vehicle!

  28. steen

    Okay, while I’m all grossed out that those were IN HIS CAR, I’m also kind of “Awwww, poor little babies!” because I have a pet rat and mice are similar and they’re all just the sweetest pets. (NOT the same as wild rodents, just FYI. Wild rodents will cut you, steal your wallet and probably take your shoes for good measure.)
    PUPPEH. I want one!

  29. Deb

    It’s kind of a relief to find the mice, isn’t it? Because just having the bad smell without knowing the source made me worry that your husband was the guy in the sunroof masturbation video you pointed to on Twitter. At least you know the stench was mouse.

  33. AA

    Thank you for the puppy!
    Several times we have experienced the stench of death at the school where I work. It is an old school, built on a foundation of the ground and and things have crawled up under there to die. Not good. Permeates the whole classroom or wing. Even the stink of 7th grade boys after lunch and football can’t overpower it.

  34. norm

    Sweet. I’m going to tear my stinky car apart now, too, because, hey, there might be a cute puppy in there!

  35. Di

    If it makes you feel any better, that mouse was not a newborn; newborn mice are pink.
    I know because I used to feed them to my snake.

  38. Jennifer

    ick, Ick, ICK!
    I can do you one worse though, I once pulled a dead baby mouse out of the bottom of my washing machine! Literally, pulling laundry out and I’m like, oh, what’s that gray blob in the bottom? A wet sock? I still upchuck a little in my mouth when I think about it.
    Oh, and I didn’t think of there being possible “others.”

  40. Miss

    YOU’RE LYING YOU LIAR!!
    Aahahahaha. YES. You are awesome.
    Also? That shit is nasty but damn if he wasn’t de.ter.mined with all the tearing apart of the truck and what not.

  44. Suzi

    OH gawd. Oh gawd oh gawd oh god. A couple months ago, I picked up my very girly, 22-year-old daughter at her office. We went to a Timberwolves game (scary enough) and left her car in her office parking lot overnight. The next day, she called me and was all, MOM! A HOMELESS PERSON DIED IN MY CAR! IT REEKS! And reek it did, but gradually, the smell faded, and now I know why. I am NOT picking up her floor mats! After reading your post, I’m sure that whatever smelled is under the floor mats, mummified. Gack. I’m going to lose sleep over this one!

  47. tuney

    I was not traumatized until Kyla had to go and make me cry with the knowledge of PREGNANT CAT MURDER. Ack. I am amazed at your hubby’s determination to find it, tho. I had something dead in my dining room I never could find – took three weeks of OMG-I’m-checking-into-a-hotel-my-eyes-are-on-fire stench for it to finally go away. About 9 months later some dog pulled a pile of fur out from under my house: dead cat. Mystery solved. And no, Kyla, it is NOT the same thing. Heh. Now I must go in search of a sunroof video…

  48. gwendomama

    i don’t think i can comment here. without puking.
    no, i certainly can not. just FYI in case it mattered.
    b/c you know…not like i have ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH THIS WEEK without adding rotting baby mice to the deal.
    But on the other hand, you may have just caught me at good time – because really? what do i care?
    EXCEPT THAT I DOOOOO……………..

  53. Kerry

    That picture isn’t of a mouse.
    Mice I can handle (especially cute wittle wee babies), the other things, ewww, complete with a body shiver!

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