I once had a “friend” who told my parents that I was “boy crazy.” This friend told my parents that I talked about boys non stop and that they should watch me carefully. Naturally, I got in big time trouble. How dare I like boys! I was supposed to ONLY LOVE JESUS. Anyway, thanks to my loud mouth, holier than thou, asshole of a friend, my parents thought that I was crazy about boys and watched me VERY CLOSELY, in case I, you know, started humping boys. The truth is, I can count on one hand the boys that I was “crazy”about in elementary school.
Bobby, David, Orel Hershiser (Yes, *that* Orel Hershiser.), Brad and Marty.
Marty was the secret love of my entire 6th grade life. He was smart, artistic and as my 12 year old self would say soooOoOOo funny! Of course, Marty never liked me back. Which was the case with most boys that I liked throughout my entire school aged life.
If I could find my diary from 6th grade, I am sure this is what it would look like:
I got kicked out of class again today. Mr.Teeter made me sit on the benches until art was over. It was Marty’s fault. He made me laugh like he always does. but he never gets in trouble!!!! But it’s ok, I still love Marty because he’s sooooo cute and soooooo funny.
I got sent to the principals office today. I brought a bandana to hit Marty back with, because he hits me with his every day! But I got in trouble because mine had too many rubberbands on it and the principal said I could hurt someone really bad with it. Marty never gets in trouble for anything, but I always do. But I still love him. He’s such a babe!!!!!!!!!
The entire year went by and Marty didn’t try to hold my hand or french kiss me behind any buildings, which was okay because I had no idea how to french kiss. (And sadly, when I had my first kiss as a SOPHOMORE IN HIGH SCHOOL, I still was clueless.) I was secretly devastated that he never liked me back, but you know, I was 12 and there were games of foursquare to be played, so life went on.
I’ve always wondered what happened to Marty, in that “where are they now” kind of way. Did he get married? Have kids? Did he still live in California? Was he a comedian? An artist? I may have even googled his name a time of 6, but nothing ever came up.
A couple of weeks ago, for reasons I can’t remember, I logged onto my classmates account. I hadn’t logged in to that account in over a year, maybe even 2. I looked over the names of people who had signed my guestbook. I saw a man who I did not recognize. His name was Marty, but a different last name then Marty from 6th grade. Curious, I clicked on his name and HOLY SHIT! It was that Marty. The babe of a boy that I had loved for an entire year was right there before my eyes, except, he was a man now. And it was a little strange, but mostly incredibly awesome. I couldn’t resist, so I sent him an email. I figured he probably didn’t remember me, but what the hell, I wanted to say hello.
He did remember me. We did a little bit of catching up. In one of the emails, he mentioned that we went to junior high together. I thought he was wrong because surely, I would remember attending the same junior high as he did! But, junior high was the worst 2 years of my entire teenage life and apparently, I have blocked most of those two years from my memory to protect my delicate little heart from the pain. I searched for my “85” year book and found it. A couple of pages in, I found this:
There was Marty, with my Totally Rad Signature Exclamation Point. (Bonus: me standing in the back of the rally with my blue trapper keeper!)
And it all came flooding back to me. We did attend the same junior high school and my crush continued for most of 7th grade, but apparently, he couldn’t read my mind, or my body language, which I’m sure was to run away every time I saw him because YOU CAN GET PREGNANT FROM JUST STANDING CLOSE TO BOYS! I guess Marty only liked girls who “were allowed to wear clothes that were in fashion.” or “allowed to shave their hairy legs.” or girls who “didn’t have to sit in the car in front of the school before school started and pray with their dads while their dads made them lift their hands and worship The Lord because YOU SHOULDN’T BE ASHAMED TO WORSHIP THE LORD IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS.”
We emailed back and forth a couple of times and did a little catching up. It was exciting and fun– it always is when you reconnect with someone who you adored in your past. It’s nice to know after all of these years that he’s had a good life and that he’s just as artistic, funny, smart as I remember him being 25 years ago
P.S.[Little Voice]He’s still a total babe[/Little Voice]