Bobs!

G-Unit has become obsessed with the question “When I become an adult can I ________?”
“When I become an adult, can I lock the bathroom door?”
“When I become an adult, can I cook my own macaroni and cheese?”
“When I become an adult, can I wear makeup to school?”
But her most favorite one for the past month?
“When I become an adult, can I have big boobs like you, Mommy?”
She’s completely fascinated with the idea of big boobs and cleavage. Every time I put a shirt on her, she asks why she doesn’t have lumps like I do when I put a shirt on. And so we have the same conversation almost EVERY DAY about how “Yes! You’ll have boobs like Mommy when you’re an adult” (Except, fingers are crossed that she doesn’t because, girlfriend, big boobs aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.)
It would seem that she doesn’t have the patience to wait until she’s an adult because last night she came to the dinner table looking like this:
Picture or Video 6926
“What is that in your shirt, G?”
“Oh, those are my boobs.”
And she was SERIOUS.
And I was laughing.
And PigHunter was in shock.
Eventually she let us in on her little secret and we all laughed for a very long time.
Picture or Video 6927
I don’t even want to begin to imagine what the Teenage Years are going to be like because I’m scared.

45 thoughts on “Bobs!

  1. Cheri

    Hilarious story. Boobs are a curse if you ask me – I never wanted them and then they came and I got used it them but now they are huge and I hate them again. She’ll learn – too quickly I imagine. Unless she’s one of those lucky one’s with size B boobs :-)

  2. Christine

    Girl, I hear you! My daughter, who is seven now, terrifies me with the way she tries to be all cute and teenage-like. The other day, she says, “Mama, watch THIS!” and then she bends over and starts doing this dancer-like butt shake dance. It was hilarious, but terrifying at the same time. WHO TAUGHT HER THAT?! It wasn’t even something Hannah Montana would do. Or maybe it is, and I just missed that episode!

  3. Nina

    My kid is obsessed with getting big boobs, too. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) she’s never stuffed her shirt with toothpaste. LOL

  4. e

    i am so excited for when she, a teenager, looks back on this post and begs you to please, please, please take it down because omgherfriendswillfindout!

  5. MomZombie

    Ah, mothers of daughters can relate to this story. My older girl did this too, with rolled up socks when she was young. Now that she’s a teen, she’s blaming ME for her big ones! Sheesh! Never satisfied.

  6. Dorothy Stahlnecker

    That is so cute and she is so smart, you’ll have your hands full and it will never be the same for you, nor does it ever end..now I’m into the granddaughters and great grandchildren and each is quit an education…
    Have fun, and learn to breathe a lot..long deep breathes…
    My best, Dorothy from grammology

  7. Tammy

    Be sooo glad she doesn’t have a little brother! Girl Terror (who also has a great desire to be a grown up) has taught Boy Terror to stuff balls in his shirt for boobs, and stuffed animals in the bottom of his shirt for his “baby”. That way he can be a well stacked pregnant chick.

  8. Kristie

    Just don’t plan on having a baby and breastfeeding in front of her anytime soon ….. or she’ll walk around town with one of her baby dolls strapped to her chest. (um, not that I’m speaking from experience about my own daughter, or anything.) :)

  9. Terri

    Wonderful story. OMG, I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but I did the same thing when I was little… only I shoved toilet paper under my shirt. The result, after gravity did it’s thing, was one very lopsided boob! My family had a great laugh at my expense.

  10. Jill

    AMEN! My 4 yr old daughter is obsessed, too! Only she doesn’t want “big boobies b/c is will hurt to have them grow!” We have the discussion almost everyday about how it doesn’t hurt and she won’t even feel it happening. Love it!

  11. apathy lounge

    As a flat-chested woman who bemoaned her lack of boobage…until pregnancy and nursing showed her how gross it felt to have tits that rested on a pregnant stomach, I feel your concern. With boys, it’s something else entirely.
    Imagine my surprise when I discovered your comment on my blog! Thanks for coming by!

  12. Mom on the Run

    Love that girl. I thought she was using a roll of biscuit dough judging by the shape.
    You are right big boobs are a major source of frustration. I hate them. Cannot wait to get a breast reduction STAT.

  13. Lauren

    If she can master shirt-stuffing at this young age, she’s going to be unstoppable on the pageant circuit later!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, couple that with her already-finely-honed ability to wear way too much bright red lipstick? This girl’s a Miss America looking for a catwalk!

  14. dalgal

    I’m still waiting for my boobs too! :)
    And regarding those teen years – as the mother of a 16 yo girl and a 13 yo girl – be afraid, be very very afraid!

  15. Lily

    My daughter does the exact same hing, she’s five and everything is …When i’m a lady….she too can’t wait to get boobs… the pressure they put on themselves!….what if they have small boobs..what then?…..i hope she’ll ultimately be happy no matter what size she is…Thanks for the laugh.

  16. tara

    that was priceless! thanks for the laugh :)
    my poor 3 year old daughter has been subjected to the sight of my boobs entirely too much since i brought my new son home from the hospital on saturday. i’m just waiting for the awesome questions and comments, especially in public.

  17. eko

    didn’t the paste make her tingle? – lol! too cute. My 12yo (son – obviously) is on and on lately about his- well, you know what… size. Did you go through this with your son’s!? Tell me it is normal!

  18. CC

    I have to admit, it took me 3 seconds too long to figure out the connection between her boobs and the toothpaste tube.

  19. Angela

    My now 12 yo used to put socks in her shirt. Now that she actually has boobs, she does what she can to hide them :)
    Oh, and I laughed at one of the comments about their little girl breastfeeding her dolly. My (nearly) 2 yo son does that on occasion.

  20. dana michelle

    I blame it on Disney. All the princesses and heroines always have a big rack ;)
    By the way, Aquafresh Pump! We use the same toothpaste :)

  21. Jamie

    She is so cute. And I totally feel your pain. I’m taking my 6-year-old shopping for boots this weekend because she’s been begging me for them for two weeks. She’s a budding fashionista. But so far not much boob talk here. Thank Gawd. ;)

  22. Charity

    LMAO! Had to delurk to say that I prayed for big boobs “just like mommy’s” as a late-blooming teenager and God gave me ridiculously humongous breasts as a joke I’m assuming. Seriously, who else wears a 34I (34DDDDDD) sized bra?! And my mom? She’s happy as a clam in a 34DD which I once thought was SO BIG!

  23. Kathy Estrada

    This is going on in my house` too! Y; I really enjoy your posts and pictures. I cry with you over your Grandpa…and smile with you hen you talk about your kids. I think you’re great.

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