My Grandpa: October 5, 1921- October 14, 2008

Dear Grandpa,
I am so relieved to know you’re not suffering anymore. At the same time, I can’t believe you’re gone. I can’t believe I’ll never see you again, I’ll never talk to you again, I’ll never get to tell you that I love you again.
Thank you for giving me an amazing childhood, for always telling me how much you loved me and for always making me laugh. You always made me feel as though I was the most special person in the world. You saved my life when I was a teenager–without your understanding I don’t know that I would have survived. Thank you for standing up for me when I needed it the most.
I picked up the memory book you filled out for me for Christmas as soon as Dad told me you died. I can’t thank you enough for doing that for me. It will be invaluable as I learn to life my life without you in it, because your handwritten words will live on forever.


Yesterday as we were sitting around your bed, Grandma told everyone the story of how “I was the reason you quit drinking and started going to church.” She told us that one day when we were spending time together, I wrapped my arms around your neck and said “Grandpa, please don’t drink beer anymore. I want you to go to heaven so that when we die, we can be in heaven together.” She said you never took another drink after that day. Now that I’m an adult, I know you would have gone to heaven even if you drank beer, but the fact that you stopped out of your love for me is overwhelming. I can’t wait to thank you for that when we meet again in Heaven. You truly were the greatest man I’ve ever known.
I love you and I will miss you every day for the rest of my life.
meandgrandpa

210 thoughts on “My Grandpa: October 5, 1921- October 14, 2008

  1. DeborahB

    Aww Y, I’m so sorry for your loss. It sucks. Prayers for peace for you and your family flying out to you.

  2. Jennifer

    Delurking to say that I am so, so sorry. What lovely memories you have, and what comfort you have in knowing he is in peace now. I am sending prayers to comfort you and your family.

  3. Angela

    Oh sweety. I am so sorry for the pain you must be feeling.
    Hugs hugs hugs.
    I’ll be thinking of you and your family.

  4. Kathy

    Y, I am so sorry. I am thankful your wonderful grandpa is no longer suffering but I know how hard it is for you to be without him. I am glad you have so many happy memories to get you through the hard times. I will be praying for you and your family.

  5. Julie

    Peace and comfort to you and yours, Y. How lucky you are to have had such a wonderful man in your life.

  6. Jen

    I am so sorry Y. I know how special he was to you. I am glad to see that you can take comfort in having had him in your life. It took me a long time to see things in that manner when I lost my Dad. God Bless…

  7. Tami

    Im so sorry for your loss Y. I know how much all of you will miss him. At least he doesnt have to suffer any more. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

  8. Jill (CDJ)

    Wow! A lot of that could have been me writing about my own grandpa who died 8 years ago. I still miss him every day. I’m so sorry for your loss. Cling to those memories. Because they will get you through the sadness.

  9. Cassie

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Y. How blessed you were to have such a wonderful man in your life. I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers.

  10. Beth Nixon

    I’m so sorry for your loss. You, and your family, are in my thoughts.
    And what a lovely tribute you have written to him on your blog. Really beautiful.

  11. Candace

    Yvonne, this is beautiful. Absolutely amazing. Brought back so many bittersweet memories of when my Grandma passed away in August. Thank you for sharing your words. *hugs*

  12. Miss Hope

    Six years and I still miss my Grandaddy. At least we can go through the rest of our lives knowing that one person loved us beyond all reason.
    Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

  13. ApeetsMom

    Y – so very sorry for your heart ache. So very happy for you that you have such amazing memories of such a special person in your life. Those are forever. Take care.

  14. Alice

    My condolences to you and your family, Y. Thank you for sharing your grandfather with us through your blog – I know that there are many of us who are thinking of him, and who will carry him in their hearts because of the beautiful love you’ve shared with us.

  15. lani

    No words. What a beautiful tribute. Hugs to you and yours as you mourn the loss of a wonderful man. Keep him in your heart and he’ll be with you forever.

  16. Jennifer

    Y, my heart aches for you. I hope you can take some comfort in that your grandpa is in a good place, no longer suffering, where he can look down upon you and truly know the impact of how life-changing his love was for you. *hugs*

  17. JaniceNW

    Y I am very sorry for your loss. Hug. Yet I am glad your grandfather is out of pain and in a place of peace. I am glad you have so many perfect memories of him.
    May Gos Bless you.

  18. angie

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Please know that I am holding you and your family in my heart and keeping you in my prayers. *hugs*

  19. Rhi

    Hugs to you. I lost my sweet Grandma in February and hospice gave us this poem, and for some reason, it really helped in my grieving.
    Gone From My Sight
    By Henry Van Dyke
    I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
    Then someone at my side says: “There, she is gone!”
    “Gone where?”
    Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
    Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says: “There, she is gone!” there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: “Here she comes!”
    And that is dying.

  20. Mandee

    I’m terribly sorry for your loss, Y. May you find peace in knowing that your grandfather knew how much you loved him. My prayers will be with you and your family.

  21. Jean

    Yvonne,
    I am so deeply sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking for you. You were both blessed to have each other.

  22. steen

    Oh, Y. I’m glad he’s not suffering anymore. I hope you and your family will remember all the good things and the good times; he will live on through all of you.
    Peace and love to you and yours.

  23. Jamie

    Thinking of you and your family Y…I know it is a relief to know he is no longer suffering but also a time of great sadness. So glad you have that book…what memories to share!

  24. bikerchick

    That was an absolutely stunning post. So many hugs to you and those who grieve your precious Grandpa. So very sorry for your loss, and hoping the many happy memories will sustain you and yours.

  25. Something About Her

    Delurking to say that I’m thinking about you…
    My grandfather died 9 years ago today – what a coincidence, eh? Unfortunately, it never gets easier. But it will bring you peace, I’m sure, to know that he’s no longer suffering and won’t ever have to suffer again. I wish grandpas could live forever. They’re very special people.

  26. Norma

    I’m so sorry for your loss…it sounds like he was a wonderful man. The note he left in your memory book would absolutely be my most prized possession in the world. Blessings to you and your family.

  27. Bunny

    Y, I am so sorry. It is never easy to watch someone you love suffer and then pass on. He was such a special person to you, I am sorry you have to go through this. You and your family are in my prayers.

  28. Randi

    I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like my grandmother was very much as important to me as your grandfather was to you. She practically raised me. She passed on in April of 2007. I still absently pick up the phone to try to call her.

  29. dana michelle

    Y, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved grandfather. I know he meant the world to you. The first thing I thought of was that he can see again. Just think of the amazing things he is seeing today!
    God’s peace to you and your family as you grieve your loss. ((((( Hugs)))))

  30. Tracy

    Too much loss lately. We too lost someone recently. I’m sorry for your loss. I’m grateful for your gratitude and appreciation for the time you shared with him. I have missed my grandpa since the day he left as well.
    Love and prayers.

  31. Whitney

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your Grandpa sounded like a wonderful person. What a wonderful memory book he left for you.

  32. Missy

    I just lost my Pop in May. He died so suddenly and I still can’t get over how sad I am. I am sorry for your loss.

  33. Headless Mom

    May you relax in the arms of God today, knowing that your Grandpa is no longer in pain. Loss is hard and I hope you feel all of us ‘internets’ hugging you and lifting you and your family up in prayer.

  34. margalit

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Memories of your grandfather will keep you going, even on your darkest days. Just close your eyes and think of him and he’ll be there for you always.

  35. e

    I knew as soon as I saw a new post on my feed what it was going to be about.
    You have remarkable eloquence and strength, and a wisdom that I sense will carry you through this sadness.

  36. Beth

    So very sorry for your loss. But I know that the best parts of him live on in you and will be passed on to your children and beyond. God bless.

  37. sara

    I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s rare in this lifetime that people touch us deeply, even relatives. Your grandpa was a special man. You are so very lucky to have had him and known him.

  38. patois

    I am so sorry for you and your family. How blessed to have been a part of such a wonderful man’s life. I hope that is some comfort.

  39. Amaelija

    Awww Y, I’m so sorry for your loss. But I’m sure glad that you were able to express your love for each other. That is something very special and I hope you can find some comfort in that during this time of grief.

  40. Suebob

    Dang it, woman, you should have told me to wear the waterproof mascara today! What he wrote is the sweetest thing. I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs.

  41. Kristie

    Well, I know all the comments in the world about a life well lived won’t take away from the pain you’re feeling right now, but I hope the knowledge that you and your Grandpa truly loved one another, and expressed that love, helps you find comfort in future, when you’re ready.
    Condolences,
    Kristie

  42. Kyla

    Yvonne, I’m so sorry for your loss. Knowing something is coming doesn’t make it easier to live through. Praying for you. XOXO.

  43. Valerie

    Y, I’m so sorry.. I know that the love you had for your grandpa will uphold you as you go through this difficult time. We’ll be praying for you and your family.

  44. Cyndi

    I am sorry for your loss. My dad died last tuesday, and I know what it is to lose someone who has meant to much to you. It’s wonderful that he had such an impact on your life, and that you had such an impact on his. The memory book is such a gift, and what amazing insight it will give you. Be blessed in this rough time.

  45. Diane

    I am so sorry for your loss, such a great one.
    I can only share this from losing my mother- the hope you have in heaven will get you through the tough times- to know that you will see your loved one again- it’s a healing balm to the soul.
    I am so glad for you that you had such a wonderful person in your life. The world is less for his leaving but the memories, as you move through the pain, will shine brighter and brighter.
    with kindness,
    Diane

  46. stepmomof2

    Beautiful post. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I’m positive that you will one day see him again in heaven. Hang in there and rejoice in the fact that he’s no longer suffering.

  47. Mr Lady

    I never knew my grandfathers, and my kids don’t know theirs, so I can’t relate at all, but I can tell you this:
    You are a good granddaughter, and that man loved you. I am so sad for you today. Hugs, baby.

  48. mickey

    Oh, Y, my heart is aching for you. We’re going through a similar situation w/my gramma and it’s really hard to watch.
    Just remember the happy times and all the love. That’s the best way to keep him with you….but you knew that already.

  49. Hed

    Y, I am so, so, so sorry for your loss. I lost my grandmother in March, and wasn’t at all prepared for what that would be like. She was the most positive person I had ever met, and made friends wherever she went.
    I am so glad you had such a good relationship with your grandfather. You can tell he had so much love for you. Always remember that.
    Sounds like he regarded you as a gift. And you are to so many people. He was right!
    Thank you for staying so authentic, always.
    Much love,
    Hedy

  50. angela

    yvonne, i know we don’t “know” each other, but I want you to know I’m so sorry about your grandfather. i’m crying now here just reading your posts about his passing. you were lucky to have such a wonderful man in your life, someone who obviously cared so much about you.

  51. bellevelma

    I’m sorry, Y. My grandmother passed away last year, and I miss her. She was the last of my grandparents still around. It sounds like you have wonderful memories of your grandfather and it sounds like he loved you very, very much. Take care of yourself in this difficult time, okay?

  52. Jennifer

    Y, I’m so sorry for your loss – know you’re in my prayers and thoughts at this time. What a precious treasure for you and legacy for your children is the memory book.

  53. Suzanne

    I am deeply touched by your tribute… and please know how truly blessed you are that you were so deeply loved and you were able to say good-bye to him and let him know that it was ok to go. You have such a legacy in having a memory book written in his own hand… God bless you and yours in the coming days.

  54. heather

    I am so sorry for your loss, but so pleased to hear his suffering has come to an end. I know you will be grieving in the days to come, and I hope you can find some peace in knowing how very much your life touched his soul. Just the power of your existence was enough for him to change his life. You will always be special to him, and he will certainly be watching over you.

  55. CA

    Oh, Y. I am crying. I’ve always been touched by your stories about your grandpa. What a special relationship. You are so lucky. And so was he.

  56. mandi

    I am truly sorry for your loss Y. You were indeed so very blessed to have had a grandpa who loved you that much. Hugs to you and your entire family. I hope you can all get through this difficult time with as little drama as possible.

  57. Sarah

    Y, my thoughts are with you and your family. I know how difficult a time this is and how it’s difficult to hear the same words over and over again. BUt, I am truly sorry. I know your pain and I know your heartfelt loss. I hold you close to my heart.

  58. Drama Queen

    I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers tonight! Your grandfather sounds like an amazing man! Thank you for sharing him with us.

  59. Lisa

    My condolences to you and your family Y. Thank you so much for sharing these sweet memories of your grandfather. **hugs**

  60. Dawn

    Oh Y, I am sorry. I know his passing leaves a canyon of emptiness in your heart. I am glad he is not suffering.

  61. Dawn

    Oh Y, I am sorry. I know his passing leaves a canyon of emptiness in your heart. I am glad he is not suffering.

  62. Les~

    Y:
    Deepest condolences to you and your family.
    He was an awesome grampa and you have LOTS of good memories….
    Hugs – Les~

  63. Emmy

    oh Y, you still amaze me. That Grandpa of yours? Well, he is proud. So proud of you. I am in awe of the connection you had with him. And that will be with you always. He’s in heaven, joking with the angels and touching more people’s hearts than you’ll ever know. What a grandfather! And what a granddaughter. May peace be with you and may the good memories carry you through the difficult times ahead!

  64. alayna

    I’m so sorry for your loss, but so glad he is no longer suffering. I just lost my very precious grandfather a few months ago too. He was the only man in my life who I felt loved me unconditionally, and the happy parts of my childhood are all wrapped up around him. It’s been almost 4 months ago since he died, and at times it still just hits me like a ton of bricks that he is really and truly gone. I miss seeing him and getting hugs from him. It’s truly a blessing to get to have a wonderful grandfather in our lives for as long as we got to. I’ll be praying for you & your family in the coming days.

  65. talda

    i don’t know you but i wish i could give you a hug in real life. my prayers are with you and your family during this sad time. i’m glad you were blessed with such a loving grandpa.

  66. Mamacita

    I’m so sorry, Y. How fortunate you are to have had such a wonderful grandfather. How equally fortunate he was to have had such a wonderful granddaughter.
    “Even death is not unkind, when living love is left behind. . . .”

  67. Jeanette

    What a blessing you were for each other. He will be waiting for you…in the meantime, you have an awesome guardian angel.
    Love never dies.

  68. wifey615

    Oh Y, i am soo sorry to hear this. i at 38 years old just lost my grandfather too and I am feeling your pain. Yours like mine was very integral in my childhood growing up years. I spent many many a day and night with my grandfather. I miss him so much, and i miss him everyday! i feel your pain but please know that your grandfather loved you so very much and he will be waiting with open arms once you meet again.
    email me if you’d like.

  69. maggie ann.

    This post was so poignantly perfect. It brought tears to my eyes. As I read about your love for your grandpa, and his love for you it made me think of my own Papaw, who is ailing and not quite himself anymore, and the huge love I have for him despite the imminent pain it might cause. Love in all of its powerful, and sometimes painful, phases is an amazing thing. My thoughts are with you, may you be blessed amidst this time of grieving.

  70. Michele

    I’m so sorry to hear about your grandfather. Have faith that He, Our Father, is holding him close with love.

  71. Brandi

    I am so sorry about your grandfather’s passing. He sounds like he was loved by so many. I pray that your memories will bring you comfort.
    (((hugs)))

  72. Angelena

    Im so sorry. Know that he is up there surrounded by all of our loved ones. My mom included. Hugs sweetie… to you and your family.

  73. Cereal Dieter

    I’m so sorry to hear of your Grandfathers passing. Your family in in my thoughts. It’s wonderful that you have so many great memories of him. Memories make loved ones live forever.

  74. Tammy

    Y, so very sorry for your loss. What wonderful memories you have untill your together again, what a glorious day that will be! Hugs from Fort Worth

  75. mrsdoxtater

    *hugs* This post really made me cry… I lost my dad three years ago and the pain is still very much real. You and your family are in my thoughts. This was a very beautiful post…

  76. eko

    Beautiful memories! I am sad for your loss here on earth, but am so grateful you had someone like him in your life. I think he prepared you in many ways to be the wonderful wife and mother you are!
    And you certainly changed his life!
    Blessings to your family!

  77. Sarah

    This post ripped my heart out. I have been at the hospital with my grandfather for the past week, so I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. My thoughts are with you and your family right now. He sounds like an amazing man.

  78. Laurie

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Your post is beautiful. What a beautiful thing it is for you to have this keepsake book with his handwritten thoughts. You are so lucky to have had such a great man in your life. I have been reading your blog for a while so I know that you were very close with your grandfather and how much you loved him and how difficult his loss is for you. You are in my thoughts. (((Big hugs))) Again, my condolences.

  79. Shelley

    Oh Y….my heart is breaking for you. You two are such a great example of what love and family means. Hugs to you and your whole family.
    Hugs again for good measure,

  80. heather...

    I’m so sorry Y. My relationship with my grandmother sounds like yours with your grandfather. I still tell my grandma that I love her every day. I know she hears me. Your grandfather will, too.

  81. Melanie

    I’m a new reader to your blog, Yvonne, but in just a few short weeks you’ve made me laugh out loud and now cry. I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear grandfather. I pray that your memories of him will give you comfort as you grieve the loss of him. Hugs to you today.

  82. schoolofmom

    Oh, Y, I am so very, very sorry. What sweet words he wrote in your memory book, and what a sweet way to remember him here on your blog.

  83. Nancy

    Beautifully written. So sorry for your loss. He sounds like a great man. I will be saying a prayer for you and your family during these most difficult days to come.

  84. Shannon

    Our condolances to you and your family. It’s very hard to lose a grandfather, especially one you are so close to. Our prayers go out to you all.

  85. sendinglove2u

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family are in my prayers. What a wonderful granddaughter you are, and how blessed he was to have you in his life. God bless you all.

  86. Lena

    Yvonne.
    I am so very sorry. You are blessed to have had a grandpa who loved you so much. He’s part of the reason you’re the beautiful woman you are today.
    I’m here for you. Or at least my voicemail is. (weak smile)
    I love you, my friend. We are doing lunch. So very soon.
    xo
    L

  87. Trisha

    I am praying for you right now. I am so sorry for your loss, but your loss is Heaven’s Gain! What wonderful, loving memories you have of him. Let that be your comfort. *hugs*

  88. Your Girl Michelle

    Yvonne, Just seeing that little note your grandfather wrote and hearing your voice yesterday….how SPECIAL of a grandfather you had…Cherish everything you had with him and rememeber to pass it all on to your kids…they will enjoy! If you fill the need to cry let it happen you have a lot of joy inside to remember!!!
    Love you! Michelle

  89. bessie.viola

    Oh, I am so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your family.
    I lost my Grandpa 3 years ago this month and I still think of him daily. I hope you will find healing and comfort in his words and memory as I have.

  90. Annie

    Y, I am soo very sorry for the loss of your beloved Grandpa. He is now your Guardian Angel. He will always live on in your heart.
    hugs
    Annie

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