“Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it”

Even though I have been working for a year, it’s different now. Now my full attention and time is required, not just a few hours every morning. I am blessed to be able to work from home so that I am physically still here for my children, but I am no longer able to provide the attention that my daughter needs throughout the day, so proper child care has been arranged. Starting tomorrow, she will be spending her mornings at Playschool and one day a week with Grandma. I allowed myself to cry about it last night– I have loved my short few years as a full time stay at home mom. However, I know that I’ve made the best decision for my family and that I am doing what I SHOULD be doing. This new position will not effect my boys much. I’ll be here to send them off to school properly and I will be here when they return from school. I’ll still be able to make breakfast and help them with homework. It is my daughter who will be affected as she will no longer be home all day with me and I will no longer be able to take her places whenever the mood strikes. That said– I know my daughter will thrive in her new environment and that the time I will spend with her will be that much more wonderful. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that jazz.
As sad as this drastic change feels at the moment, the truth of the matter is that I really do have the best of both worlds. And I am grateful.
Lucky Me

20 thoughts on ““Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it”

  1. lani

    Y, you have always been wonderful about doing what’s best for your family. I’m facing the same thing… having to go back to work after being at home with my boys full-time for awhile. I cried, too, when the final decision was made, but we are responsible to provide for our families and that requires something different for every situation. Maybe this sort of thing helps us really, really appreciate the time we did have staying at home with our kids. I love, love, love your title. It was a comfort to me.

  2. Kathy from NJ

    My father died in November ’07, age 87, of congestive heart failure. He had lived with it for a long time and until July was well enough to drive, take small walks pushing my mother’s wheelchair, read the newspaper, go to church and generally have a good life. August & September were tough, in October after a brief hospital stay where he refused most treatment, we asked him if he wanted hospice. He did and it was the best thing we ever did for him. At the end he was quite comfortable, he got to see all his grandchildren and he died peacefully the Saturday after Thanksgiving.

  3. Black Hockey Jesus

    Yesterday I picked L. up from daycare and 2 girls chased her down to hug her. I thought “You are 4. Look how you matter to people.” [and I think this comment was a seed that just sprouted into a post idea. You saw it first!]
    Kolbe supports daycare.

  4. Twenty Four At Heart

    Being a parent is so hard sometimes. Your love for your kids is very evident. Really? That is the biggest gift in the world … for them to know how loved they are. Clearly your kids do.

  5. shaz

    love the pic!
    well, i started working out of the house full time, and honestly i really hate it, but it’s what i need to do right now, so i do it. being a mother takes courage right? :)

  6. Margaret

    Y ~ I’m looking to help supplement our income right now and will be facing some of the same tough choices. I will look forward to hearing how things go for your family. The one thing that keeps running through my mind about this time in our life is that I’m grateful that I had the time doing this sahm gig as long as I did!

  7. Jerri Ann

    You will really cry the first time she gets pissed because you decide you want to keep her home with you because YOU are missing her and need her and she cries and begs to go to “school”. Just you wait, it will happen…..
    and, totally being selfish here but I am trying to do a de-lurking day since I’m in the middle of a TMJ, Mono induced Sinus Infection illness and want to do a de-lurk day tomorrow, I’ve got buttons and codes on my blog.
    One of the buttons is simply my congratulations to myself for getting accepted to blogherads and the other two are for twittermoms and momcentral but I would love it if you would join in with the Blogherads and play along…use my button, make your own, I has even gots code for them, hehehe, I totally didn’t do it myself though…
    And, just wait, the day is coming, you have only a little work and you want her to stay home and she is gonna put her hands on her hips and sass you and cry because you NEED her, how inssane!

  8. Tammy

    It sucks, doesn’t it? I cried like a baby the first day I was without the Terrors. I may have missed something in a past post, but if Tony isn’t working, why can’t he take care of Gabby?

  9. Y

    You didn’t miss anything. They hired him back with a different division of the company. BUT– they took away his salary so when there’s no work, he no longer gets paid, took away his various “allowances” which cut his income significantly. We worry every day because there is no future work at this time… But, now at least we wont’ have to worry about NO health insurance should they eventually shut down altogether.

  10. Shana

    I worked from home full-time starting when my daughter was six weeks old. At age 18 months I started her in a “mother’s day out” half day, three days a week. BEST THING I EVER DID, for her and for me. I won’t say I was “neglectful” while I was trying to get work done and she was in the house, but I was definitely not attentive. I’m glad you found something that is a good compromise for your family situation, allowing you to have an income and still be there for kids before/after school. I feel so lucky to have that kind of job!

  11. Shana

    I’ll be in the same boat soon – going from (mostly) full-time SAHM (daughter goes to MDO 15 hrs/wk) to full-time worker-mom. Unfortuantely, I don’t have the option to work from home, but quite frankly, it’s better for me to have to go somewhere else for work; I’d never get anything done, I’d be so distracted with all the house crap that’s being neglected. Anyway, I feel the ambivalence with you. While I’m excited about working, and I know that contributing in this way to my family is the best thing in the long run, I anticipate a certain mourning period after all the changes have started. You’ll all be better off for it, though, I firmly believe.
    P.S. I just noticed that the previous commenter and I have the same name. How cool is that!?! I NEVER meet anyone with my name!

  12. LD

    I’m going back to work in February. I’m home on mat leave with my 6 month old, but I have a 4 and a half year old who is also home with me.
    I need to work, and I value the time with my kids.
    But, wow. It’s hard knowing I’m going back and that my kids will be looked after by someone else.
    Making the right decisions for your family isn’t always the easy decision. I’m so with you on that.

  13. Loralee

    Decisions like this are always difficult no matter what the outcome is. I wish I was qualified to do something from home, it would be amazing. Difficult to juggle everything, but amazing none the less. Personally, I think it will be great thing the solution sounds great and I admire the hell out of you for making the very best out of things.I think you’re fabulous.

  14. Laura Lohr

    You really cannot imagine how wonderful it is that your daughter gets to spend time with grandma like that. I imagine it is tough to do, but if you mom or MIL lived closer, I think it would mean the world to my daughter. I would likely go back to teaching part-time if I had the help here.
    You are going to do awesome!

  15. Suburban Turmoil

    She is at the perfect age to start preschool- I’m sure she’ll love it! A
    nd please know that as you suffer angst for sending her there, I’m suffering angst for NOT sending mine to preschool, even though ALL of her friends are enrolled. We all worry we’re not providing the “perfect” childhood for our kids, no matter what we decide to do!

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