One of my best online friends celebrated a birthday today.
He is the person who kept me motivated when I lost weight after having my daughter– sometimes he used Asshole Motivation Techniques that made me cry**, but most of the time, he was supportive and kind and for that, he will always have a special place in my ass.
(ha ha. You thought I was going to say heart.)
I was finally able to meet him in April when I went to NYC and while there was a little bit of awkwardness in the cab ride on the way to dinner because ha ha ha! I’m riding in a cab with “Dateboy”, it really was like hanging out with an old friend.
I never posted the one picture we took together in NYC, because we both had a case of The Droopies. (My droopy eye. His droopy whole entire side of his face. Or whatever it was he said, because he doesn’t have any Droopy whatsoever, he was just trying to make me feel better. DROOP THIS, man.) But, I’ve accepted The Droopy Eye and so, here we are. Together at his office, just before we played about 30 rounds of Beer Pong (and when I say “we” I mean “Him and his friends” because he only let me play one game and then totally forgot I was there and so I had to pretend like I had to be somewhere so that I didn’t feel like a big giant asshole standing there by myself with a camera strapped around my neck.)
I had the pleasure of meeting his drop dead gorgeous girlfriend and except for the part where I talked about milk squirting out of my tits and cried over dinner, it wasn’t awkward or weird at all hanging out with someone who I had never met or even had one internet conversation with. I emailed her today and asked her if she would like to post a birthday message to Michael on my blaawwwg and she was all “OMG! YES!”
(Me: hahahahahhahhahahahaaa. And also? Awwwwww.)
Happy Birthday, Michael.
Me and Ruthie.
**That was only one time, he was laughing at me while I was trying my hardest on the treadmill saying things like “you suck!” Oh, yeah, and it was just a dream. So, I totally forgive him.