You Know Your Day is Probably Going to Suck When….

As you’re putting the only bra on that still fits you, you notice the wire is sticking out of the side, stabbing you in the armpit and as you’re trying to shove that bitch back in and “Make it Work”, you accidentally drop your only clean pair of chonis in the toilet and as you’re fishing them out of the toilet, you hear your daughter call her brother an “Asshole” because he won’t “share his pen.”
Oh, and? You have to make 40 German Pancakes for your Son’s “Food From Around The World” day and have them at the school by 8am.
SHIT.

79 thoughts on “You Know Your Day is Probably Going to Suck When….

  1. pam

    There is no way I could top that. Just the poking of the underwire would put me over the edge.
    Y, I want to just take you on a long island vacation where the locals don’t care if you’re even wearing a bra. Did you get the pancakes made? And my 7 y/o has properly busted out the asshole on his brothers many times. It’s the price we pay for having older siblings in the house. Did you laugh or cry when you heard her say it?

  2. jen from boston

    yeahhh, that’s a rough start. Reminds me of the oldie song “Momma Said There’d Be Days Like This”.
    Call do-overs.
    Also, I’ve called my bro an asshole for less, so, you know…I think she used it appropriately, if that’s any consolation.

  3. catnip

    I’m glad someone else mentioned the Lakers, cause I didn’t want to. Broken underwires really suck. I know that pain all too well.

  4. Cheryl

    Sorry, I laughed. It all seemed like a pretty do-able morning with 3 kids, but the German pancakes before 8AM!!!!

  5. that girl

    Duct Tape.
    LOL about “chonis,” that word is a favorite in my house. We don’t speak Spanish, but my kids have called their underwear chonis from day one. A holdover from my days growing up in San Jose.

  6. Suzy Q

    You get dressed in the bathroom? Maybe this is just weird to me since I don’t have kids.
    The 40 German pancakes delivered by 8:00 AM would KILL ME DEAD. They would get “German” store-bought cookies, or something. You’re a good mom, Y.

  7. Black Hockey Jesus

    Are you recovering from your Kolbe addiction? I’m sorry if I’m bothering you but I am going to use the word “Kolbe” on a comment to all your posts for the next 5 years. Not because I care about basketball but because your Addicted To Kolbe email was the sweetest email in the history of email. If you looked up sweet email on Wikipedia, it would say that you’re addicted to Kolbe.

  8. Jill

    OH no! I hate those days…. usually, though, when I have a bad morning, the rest of my day goes well. I hope the same for you!

  9. anne nahm

    There is a special place in Hell for people like me, who laugh at your pain. Totally worth it. Because? Funny!
    Hope the rest of the day goes better.

  10. SassyPants

    Definitely a Do-Over morning. Or perhaps a splash of moonshine in your coffee?
    Good luck with the cupcakes. I’d go buy a box and frost them with that coconut frosting stuff. German enough, right?

  11. Karen

    Oh Man what a morning you had. I hope you day improved. I had to go look up what “chonis” meant haha It came up the spanish slag for underwear. So I guess you went comando all day.
    I laughed about your daughter I could so see her dramatics when calling her brother and asshole.

  12. Karen

    Oh Man what a morning you had. I hope you day improved. I had to go look up what “chonis” meant haha It came up the spanish slag for underwear. So I guess you went comando all day.
    I laughed about your daughter I could so see her dramatics when calling her brother and asshole.

  13. DebbieS

    40 German pancakes?? Work shall make you flee…
    ::ducks::
    Maybe you could think of your busted underwire as some kind of a shiv? Sorry your day is so crappy {{hugs}}
    Take out a signature loan for some gasoline and drive down to SD so I can buy you a nice cold Frapuccino!

  14. Alice

    Ugh. SUCKS! I’m agog that you still have school going on, much less school involving *40* food items in the early AM. Goodness.
    I hope that you enjoyed a traditional german lager (or wine, or whatever) later on, to continue the theme and to make up for such a crappy morning.
    And? Herroom.com is an awesome place to find bras, since it seems like you’re in the market. Underwires are evil, IMO, since the wires are always making a break for it (at least on me.)

  15. Rachael

    Agh! Not good. And I hate the underwire armpit poke… although mine usually somehow waits until I’m out in public them becomes painful and unfixable. Sigh…

  16. Angelena

    ok seriously, I know you had a bad morning, but this post made me laugh because it IS my world. FUNNY…. no wait, I mean BAAAAAAAAAAAD, go back to bed. ;)

  17. Julie

    I love that you took the time to tell us this! This right here is the reason I miss having girlfriends around, all the daily hilariously awful parts of life and parenthood.

  18. gwendomama

    is it wrong that i laugh at your pain?
    i mean, no, not ALL of your pain – it would just be heartless and cruel to sit here and laugh at your thyroid pain – i would never ever more than chuckle at that i swear on your holy bra.
    but this pain? that’s some funny ass pain.
    are you absolutely sure that miss sassy wasn’t telling her brother to CHECK HIS ASShole?
    maybe i see you soon, eh? driving south tomorrow…..how’s the smog?

  19. Yvie

    I don’t like bras with wires. It simply hurt my boobs. *flinches* so I opt for the ones that doesn’t have ones.
    Anyway, I dunno what to day, but I hope things work out well there.

  20. Kay

    It could be worse, you could say ”and as I was walking out the door with the pancakes, the dog jumped up and ate every single one!”
    OK it can’t be much worse, what a sucky start to a day! Hope it got better!

  21. baseballmom

    Jeez. I quit the underwires a long time ago, because of the pokage. Hate that. I figure if my kids are treating each other like assholes, and they call each other that, then they must have deserved it. As long as she doesn’t bust it out at preschool or something.

  22. balconygal

    Oh my, I hate that about bras. Especially when they are a favorite because there is no way to fix them. And I have to admit I thought you spelled chonis wrong…how do you drop a whole pair of chinos in the pot and who still calls them chinos?
    I’ll refrain from boasting that I was at the game last night and on a complete high this morning. Tired, sure, but, oh, right, no boasting.
    I hope your day got better! I’d sure buy you drink by 11 AM for that one!

  23. helen

    Hey, I have a teenaged daughter that you can borrow, keep her for a week and then pass her on, I promise your mornings, even ones like this one will seem sweet and carefree once you have passed her on ( but don’t send her back, I believe in spreading the joy, I have had 19 years…..please, don’t send her back!)
    Oh and as for your blog, I only wish you wrote more, I get so excited when I click and there is a new post, I heart you Y.

  24. LisaS

    What is it with today? After going to bed late last night, the dogs woke me up early to let them out. Then, the one with a sensitive stomach decided to poop in the house. Mid-morning, I laid down to take a nap and couldn’t fall asleep. At dinner time, dog decided to poop *and* pee in the house.
    Drove to my daughter’s violin recital and it was pouring when we got there. Turns out, the teacher gave us the wrong date (she meant the 19th – tomorrow).
    Let’s just go to bed now. Hopefully, tomorrow won;t such quite as much.
    (Oh, and I got an error when I tried to preview this comment)

  25. supertiff

    yep, that’s a rough way to start the day for sure.
    i hope gabby sang you some ‘dramatic numbers’ later on, to cheer you up.

  26. Bee

    HA! I learned to put the lid down after I bent over to do the turban thing to my hair with the towel and a corner of the towel went into the toilet bowl and gave me a nice wet surprise when I stood up and that corner landed on my bare back! ::shiver::

  27. Marmite Breath

    Your kids are still in school? Holy Macaroni! My kids got out on May 18th and I am ready to send them back!
    PS) German pancakes? You should have just bought a Betty Crocker German Chocolate Cake Mix. They are both German, right?

  28. jeanie

    Okay – you win! I was all over you when your one good bra had a wire sticking, but man, then you pulled out the guns!!

  29. Stacie from MN

    Nothing worse than the underwire popping out! I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who is not always caught up on the laundry. I started making my 12 year old son do his own.

  30. Lurker Girl

    This is where you say “Due to lack of interest, today has been cancelled”
    Also–I think the Vodka waiver goes into effect right away on mornings like this–drink up!
    ((((HUGS)))))

  31. Jenny, Bloggess

    Yeah. That’s when you swing by the grocery store on your way to school and explain to the teacher that in Germany we call store-bought oreo’s “pancakes” and if she has a problem with it she can call the United Nations.

  32. Heidi

    I used to teach elementary school and we did Food from Around the World, too. I thought it was so fun and cool.
    Now that I’m a mom? I realize it was The Stupidest Idea Ever.
    Here’s hoping your day got better… it had to, right?

  33. stefanie

    Sadly, I have bras with the underwire poking through to stab my in the soft parts yet I just continue to wear them. Have you seen how much a new bra costs? More than a tank of gas and that’s saying something.
    Much love sistah wife!

  34. Lindsey

    OMG I would still get dressed in whatever I could find available, even without undies and a bra and have the kid take in the pancakes at school, making sure I DID NOT EXIT THE CAR. Even if it meant a bunch of trips for the kid, he’d get over it!!! What did you do?

  35. Dorothy Stahlnecker

    This is so funny…although it made me want to have a drink and where in the heck is the joy here.
    good job and good luck surviving.
    Dorothy from grammology
    remember to call your gram
    grammology.com

  36. Dorothy Stahlnecker

    I posted you on my blog grammology.com hope it helps your day.
    I tried to email you although it came back..
    Dorothy from grammology
    remember to call your gram
    grammology.com

  37. Ange

    Hey, Y – Memba me? I am that girl that was married at the same age as you and has boys almost the same ages as yours? (Yep, I’m that frequent reader/stalker girl:) Guess what – I haven’t visited your blog latety because I’m awaitng a UTERINE BIOPSY and planning for a total hysterectomy in the next few weeks. I know from reading your blog that you are a praying kind of girl, so I’m asking for prayer where I can get it. I need every bit of positive vibe I can get! Thanks in advance,
    Your internet stalker:)
    Angie

  38. Jenny

    Once when I was at work, I had an underwire break out and protrude from the center of my sweater. When one of the service guys pointed it out, I calmly slid it the rest of the way out (through my sweater) and put it on like a headband.

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