As you’re putting the only bra on that still fits you, you notice the wire is sticking out of the side, stabbing you in the armpit and as you’re trying to shove that bitch back in and “Make it Work”, you accidentally drop your only clean pair of chonis in the toilet and as you’re fishing them out of the toilet, you hear your daughter call her brother an “Asshole” because he won’t “share his pen.”
Oh, and? You have to make 40 German Pancakes for your Son’s “Food From Around The World” day and have them at the school by 8am.
SHIT.
There is no way I could top that. Just the poking of the underwire would put me over the edge.
Y, I want to just take you on a long island vacation where the locals don’t care if you’re even wearing a bra. Did you get the pancakes made? And my 7 y/o has properly busted out the asshole on his brothers many times. It’s the price we pay for having older siblings in the house. Did you laugh or cry when you heard her say it?
Occh…that’s when you say ‘DO OVER!!!!
yeahhh, that’s a rough start. Reminds me of the oldie song “Momma Said There’d Be Days Like This”.
Call do-overs.
Also, I’ve called my bro an asshole for less, so, you know…I think she used it appropriately, if that’s any consolation.
God, I love you.
You forgot to mention the Lakers.
I’m glad someone else mentioned the Lakers, cause I didn’t want to. Broken underwires really suck. I know that pain all too well.
Sorry, I laughed. It all seemed like a pretty do-able morning with 3 kids, but the German pancakes before 8AM!!!!
Duct Tape.
LOL about “chonis,” that word is a favorite in my house. We don’t speak Spanish, but my kids have called their underwear chonis from day one. A holdover from my days growing up in San Jose.
That you stopped everything to come and blog this only makes me love you more.
ANY of those things even individually woulda done me in!
Ohhh Shit. Girl, Go. Back. To Bed.
Sounds like you need a cocktail, no?
You get dressed in the bathroom? Maybe this is just weird to me since I don’t have kids.
The 40 German pancakes delivered by 8:00 AM would KILL ME DEAD. They would get “German” store-bought cookies, or something. You’re a good mom, Y.
Are you recovering from your Kolbe addiction? I’m sorry if I’m bothering you but I am going to use the word “Kolbe” on a comment to all your posts for the next 5 years. Not because I care about basketball but because your Addicted To Kolbe email was the sweetest email in the history of email. If you looked up sweet email on Wikipedia, it would say that you’re addicted to Kolbe.
That’s rough, hope the day gets better. You’re too funny.
OH no! I hate those days…. usually, though, when I have a bad morning, the rest of my day goes well. I hope the same for you!
There is a special place in Hell for people like me, who laugh at your pain. Totally worth it. Because? Funny!
Hope the rest of the day goes better.
Not sharing stationery? Seems to me like brother had it coming.
Wait. You have a kid still in school this month? Still?!? IS YOUR DISTRICT ACCEPTING TRANSFERS
yeah. i’m pretty sure that you and i could be best friends.
just sayin.
Definitely a Do-Over morning. Or perhaps a splash of moonshine in your coffee?
Good luck with the cupcakes. I’d go buy a box and frost them with that coconut frosting stuff. German enough, right?
Oh Man what a morning you had. I hope you day improved. I had to go look up what “chonis” meant haha It came up the spanish slag for underwear. So I guess you went comando all day.
I laughed about your daughter I could so see her dramatics when calling her brother and asshole.
Oh Man what a morning you had. I hope you day improved. I had to go look up what “chonis” meant haha It came up the spanish slag for underwear. So I guess you went comando all day.
I laughed about your daughter I could so see her dramatics when calling her brother and asshole.
That’s when it is time to go back to bed.
Hope your day improved.
40 German pancakes?? Work shall make you flee…
::ducks::
Maybe you could think of your busted underwire as some kind of a shiv? Sorry your day is so crappy {{hugs}}
Take out a signature loan for some gasoline and drive down to SD so I can buy you a nice cold Frapuccino!
Ugh. SUCKS! I’m agog that you still have school going on, much less school involving *40* food items in the early AM. Goodness.
I hope that you enjoyed a traditional german lager (or wine, or whatever) later on, to continue the theme and to make up for such a crappy morning.
And? Herroom.com is an awesome place to find bras, since it seems like you’re in the market. Underwires are evil, IMO, since the wires are always making a break for it (at least on me.)
Agh! Not good. And I hate the underwire armpit poke… although mine usually somehow waits until I’m out in public them becomes painful and unfixable. Sigh…
ok seriously, I know you had a bad morning, but this post made me laugh because it IS my world. FUNNY…. no wait, I mean BAAAAAAAAAAAD, go back to bed. 😉
I love that you took the time to tell us this! This right here is the reason I miss having girlfriends around, all the daily hilariously awful parts of life and parenthood.
is it wrong that i laugh at your pain?
i mean, no, not ALL of your pain – it would just be heartless and cruel to sit here and laugh at your thyroid pain – i would never ever more than chuckle at that i swear on your holy bra.
but this pain? that’s some funny ass pain.
are you absolutely sure that miss sassy wasn’t telling her brother to CHECK HIS ASShole?
maybe i see you soon, eh? driving south tomorrow…..how’s the smog?
Can I get you a drink? A really strong one? It sounds like you need it right about now.
I don’t like bras with wires. It simply hurt my boobs. *flinches* so I opt for the ones that doesn’t have ones.
Anyway, I dunno what to day, but I hope things work out well there.
bugger.
CHECK YOUR ASS, Y!! You don’t have any underwear on!!!!!!!!!
It could be worse, you could say ”and as I was walking out the door with the pancakes, the dog jumped up and ate every single one!”
OK it can’t be much worse, what a sucky start to a day! Hope it got better!
Yes, my day would have clearly ended with the first jab of the underwire….crawl back in bed and cover up my head!
oh, that does suck! poor you!
hope your evening goes better!!
Jeez. I quit the underwires a long time ago, because of the pokage. Hate that. I figure if my kids are treating each other like assholes, and they call each other that, then they must have deserved it. As long as she doesn’t bust it out at preschool or something.
Oh my, I hate that about bras. Especially when they are a favorite because there is no way to fix them. And I have to admit I thought you spelled chonis wrong…how do you drop a whole pair of chinos in the pot and who still calls them chinos?
I’ll refrain from boasting that I was at the game last night and on a complete high this morning. Tired, sure, but, oh, right, no boasting.
I hope your day got better! I’d sure buy you drink by 11 AM for that one!
Hey, I have a teenaged daughter that you can borrow, keep her for a week and then pass her on, I promise your mornings, even ones like this one will seem sweet and carefree once you have passed her on ( but don’t send her back, I believe in spreading the joy, I have had 19 years…..please, don’t send her back!)
Oh and as for your blog, I only wish you wrote more, I get so excited when I click and there is a new post, I heart you Y.
I have a hard enough time making ONE German pancake. I hope your day got better.
I’ve been known to duck-tape a stray poking underwire before. Surprisingly enough, it holds pretty well.
I tagged you for a meme and I know you don’t usually do them but it gives you a chance to through out some random words and be super creative. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts.
http://www.momecentric.com/?p=136
What is it with today? After going to bed late last night, the dogs woke me up early to let them out. Then, the one with a sensitive stomach decided to poop in the house. Mid-morning, I laid down to take a nap and couldn’t fall asleep. At dinner time, dog decided to poop *and* pee in the house.
Drove to my daughter’s violin recital and it was pouring when we got there. Turns out, the teacher gave us the wrong date (she meant the 19th – tomorrow).
Let’s just go to bed now. Hopefully, tomorrow won;t such quite as much.
(Oh, and I got an error when I tried to preview this comment)
yep, that’s a rough way to start the day for sure.
i hope gabby sang you some ‘dramatic numbers’ later on, to cheer you up.
HA! I learned to put the lid down after I bent over to do the turban thing to my hair with the towel and a corner of the towel went into the toilet bowl and gave me a nice wet surprise when I stood up and that corner landed on my bare back! ::shiver::
RIGHTEOUS.
Your kids are still in school? Holy Macaroni! My kids got out on May 18th and I am ready to send them back!
PS) German pancakes? You should have just bought a Betty Crocker German Chocolate Cake Mix. They are both German, right?
Okay – you win! I was all over you when your one good bra had a wire sticking, but man, then you pulled out the guns!!
Dangit. Hate that. My bras are baggy. Boo. Hope you made them silver dollar pancakes.
Now since this has been up for a bit, did the day get better? Or did you really just need to stay in bed…
Nothing worse than the underwire popping out! I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who is not always caught up on the laundry. I started making my 12 year old son do his own.
This is where you say “Due to lack of interest, today has been cancelled”
Also–I think the Vodka waiver goes into effect right away on mornings like this–drink up!
((((HUGS)))))
Yeah. That’s when you swing by the grocery store on your way to school and explain to the teacher that in Germany we call store-bought oreo’s “pancakes” and if she has a problem with it she can call the United Nations.
i noticed this to. nice post..i like your blog,bookmarked it
Baby Boy Names
Um yeah. I’d say that’s a pretty crappy start to a day. Just where do you go from there?
Hope your day got better
I used to teach elementary school and we did Food from Around the World, too. I thought it was so fun and cool.
Now that I’m a mom? I realize it was The Stupidest Idea Ever.
Here’s hoping your day got better… it had to, right?
We always get the crappy countries like Sri Lanka – Imean really – Sri Friggin Lanka –
oh my god. I hate to laugh at your misery but that’s effin’ funny.
Ummmm…you have nowhere to go but up?
Wow, that does really suck….!
June 18th…school should be done for the summer!
That’s all I have to say about that!
You had me at “chonis”. You don’t realize just how great you are! :O)
Sadly, I have bras with the underwire poking through to stab my in the soft parts yet I just continue to wear them. Have you seen how much a new bra costs? More than a tank of gas and that’s saying something.
Much love sistah wife!
Yeah, that sucks.
And that rogue underwire never stays in the chute for long…it’s like a ticking time bomb.
OMG I would still get dressed in whatever I could find available, even without undies and a bra and have the kid take in the pancakes at school, making sure I DID NOT EXIT THE CAR. Even if it meant a bunch of trips for the kid, he’d get over it!!! What did you do?
This is so funny…although it made me want to have a drink and where in the heck is the joy here.
good job and good luck surviving.
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call your gram
grammology.com
I posted you on my blog grammology.com hope it helps your day.
I tried to email you although it came back..
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call your gram
grammology.com
The stabbing bra! I have the stabbing bra!
Oh girl! 🙂 Your life but I just have to say I laughed LOL 🙂 I hope it got better?!
Hey, Y – Memba me? I am that girl that was married at the same age as you and has boys almost the same ages as yours? (Yep, I’m that frequent reader/stalker girl:) Guess what – I haven’t visited your blog latety because I’m awaitng a UTERINE BIOPSY and planning for a total hysterectomy in the next few weeks. I know from reading your blog that you are a praying kind of girl, so I’m asking for prayer where I can get it. I need every bit of positive vibe I can get! Thanks in advance,
Your internet stalker:)
Angie
That is however terrible. I hope that it again improve as fast as possible.
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That is a bad start. hope your day got better
Ugh this made me laugh. Thank you 😉
Once when I was at work, I had an underwire break out and protrude from the center of my sweater. When one of the service guys pointed it out, I calmly slid it the rest of the way out (through my sweater) and put it on like a headband.
I HATE when those wires stick out like that. Why the heck do they do that? I buy good, high end bras and they STILL do it!!
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