I think I should send it on a World Tour in which various bloggers photograph themselves wearing it doing various things, like washing their cars! Or Poppin’ And Lockin’! Or having sex!

I was looking for an old journal of mine this morning. I didn’t find it, but I did find my wedding album.
Holy mother of HUGE.
I’ve already written about my wedding before, but I think that I could write about it 100 times and never accurately put into words just how fucking HUGE that wedding was.
It was and will probably always be the Biggest Wedding I’ve ever seen, and I aint talking about the number of guests that were there.
I’m talking about The Size of Everything. Cake? HUGE. My sleeves? HUGE. My bangs: HUGE! My Veil? THE HUGEST VEIL IN THE HISTORY OF WEDDINGS.

I still can’t believe that the people who supposedly “LOVE” me actually let me wear that thing without sitting me down to express concern.
“We know that it’s the biggest, most expensive veil in the store and that it is covered with sweet pearls! And yes, pearls are beautiful! But so is your head, Y! Don’t you want people to see your beautiful head? Also, think of your neck. Do you want to get The Stiff Neck while you’re up there listening to your father’s 3 hour sermon (because you KNOW you’re Dad is going to preach a 3 hour sermon at your wedding, right?) Please, put the pearly veil down for ONE MINUTE and think of your neck. And your head.”
I probably would have worn it anyway, because the crazy woman at the bridal shop had convinced me that it was “the newest, most beautiful veil out there!” and that “all of the brides were buying it!!” But, even still. No one even TRIED to stop me and that hurts a little bit RIGHT HERE.

75 thoughts on “I think I should send it on a World Tour in which various bloggers photograph themselves wearing it doing various things, like washing their cars! Or Poppin’ And Lockin’! Or having sex!

  1. AmyM

    That veil right there? Is the reason your husband is still so horny after all these years. Cause the veil is HOT!

  2. balconygal

    At least it framed your head nicely. I mean, it framed your nice head grandly. I mean, it was grand. Wow. The great news, other than that your husband married you while you were wearing that and that it didn’t knock him out during the reception (or did it?), is that it will probably be back in style when your daughter gets married.

  3. Rhi

    I think you should bring it to BlogHer. Do you think you’d need to buy an extra plane ticket for it? If so I’ll donate toward the cause.

  4. Y

    Rhi– Maybe I need a “send my Veil to BlogHer” donation button?
    Also, Kyla. Maybe I will. ha ha ha.

  5. Beth B

    Its darling. Like an angel’s halo. :-) wedding picts are fun to look at. thanks for sharing yours!

  6. Amy

    OK. Now you MUST send it on a tour. Must. Do. It. I want it just so I can see if I can make my bangs as big as yours were. I think it’s physically impossible, but I’d consider it a challenge.
    Maybe wearing that thing on your head during a 3 hr sermon and every other part of your wedding, caused a crimp in your neck, that messed with your thyroid. Just wonderin’

  7. catnip

    I noticed you changed your twitter picture to this! The veil is….I just don’t know what…but YOU look really happy.

  8. Stephanie

    Sweet baby jesus.
    Holy mother of God.
    I only hope I can look back at my wedding pictures one day and say the same. Except for the fact that I had simple hair, simple veil, and simple dress.
    GEESH! What was I thinking!

  9. The Aitch

    A blogger/flickr tour would be AWESOME! Way better than the lame tutu ones I see everywhere! I wanna be first!!!

  10. Ann

    Hi, Y
    I am a lurker mostly, but this I had to comment on. You are a bit harsh on yourself and everyone else that let you where that. I was married in 1989(a year before you, right?) and my dress and veil looked just like that. I am the size of a 12 year old girl all around. So, can you imagine how lost I was in all of that. It must have been the style. LOL My daughter makes fun of it all the time.

  11. AMomTwoBoys

    Or, maybe the woman at the veil place just couldn’t get rid of it, so she worked her magic and talked you into it.
    Just kidding. Looks like what every other late 80’s bride looked like. Taking that into account, you look gorgeous, dahling!

  12. Jennifer

    This is officially the greatest thing I have seen this week, possibly EVER.
    I think it’s a testiment to how absolutely radiant and beautiful you are that you were able to compete with that extravaganza of tulle, seed pearls and leg o’mutton sleeves.
    God almighty.

  13. Velma

    I think I may have you beat in actual sleeve volume, but my big-ass balloons-on-my-shoulder sleeves did not have the fine detail of that cute little bow that yours appear to sport. Heh.

  14. DogsDontPurr

    Actually, I think you look fabulous in that. It’s a great photo…a great dress…and an amazing veil. You are wayyyy too hard on yourself. But I do think it would be fun to send that veil around. That would be a cool project. If you do it, count me in!

  15. Anne Glamore

    The TOUR is a fab idea but really– You look SO HAPPY. And that is the part of the picture I focus on the most, even though the sleeves and veil and bangs are WAAAY BIG!

  16. anne nahm

    You look so beautiful and young and happy in that picture. I totally would have never noticed the star exploding behind your head if you had not pointed it out.
    I say that knowing full well that if I put up a picture of my bridal set up, people would have to comment on my princess leia buns. Both sets of my buns. Oh yeah. I wore em. No one warned me either.

  17. Karly

    You think YOU are hurt? My eyes are BLEEDING! Oh, I’m kidding. I love you, you’re gorgeous. But, I totally would have put my foot down about that veil if I was around.

  18. Wacky Mommy

    It is the wedding I wanted and NEVER had. (Sobs. Runs off. Wonders about renewing vows at 10th wedding anniversary this summer. Stops crying. Starts veil shopping.)

  19. tiffany

    My big ole sleeves and high neckline could compete with yours…but my veil could not. LOL Must have been the style (I was married in 93). If it wasnt, no one bothered to mention it to me either! :)
    Really, you do look beautiful and radiant.

  20. Maria

    You were the quintessential beautiful 80s bride.
    The Big Veil Tour of 2008 would be a hoot.

  21. christine Gill

    your dress was actually quite similar to mine. I loved it right up to my wedding day and that morning I hated it. I looked like a blancmange.
    and that was 96 so I don’t even have as much as an excuse as you do… But you got me really really beat with that hair. and the veil. and the cake.
    OOOOOH! My cake ! – was a 3 tier strawberry cheesecake. My Gosh, that thing was gorgeous. You’ve made me wanna go look at wedding pics now…

  22. girlplease

    See I think for the time that you got married, that was totally “in” and appropriate. I think it was nice. But then again, I still have feathered hair.

  23. Jenni

    Yeah, but the question is, did your hubby have the big 80’s hair, too? Because that would make it perfect!
    And that is a beautiful smile!

  24. Stacie from MN

    Wow! It is pretty big, but in all honesty, you do look nice. Remeber that big was “in” then, and everything comes back in style at some point, so in 10 years it will probably be “in” again!

  25. SassyPants

    That is one big ass headdress. I love it. Count me in on Veil-Tour 08. I’ll wear it under my floppy hat while I work in the garden or while vaccuuming (vacuuming? vaccuming?) naked.
    I’m kidding of course. I’d never wear a floppy hat.

  26. JoAnn

    Circa- early 1990’s???? I got married in “90 and um, yeah- big veil and big poofy sleeves. I’d change every single thing about my wedding ( dresses, flowers, music…) except the man I married- which is really the important thing. This year will be 18 yrs and I can hardly believe all that time has gone by.

  27. chanelireli

    I think it totally matches the sleeves. and i’m sure your bridesmaid didn’t say anything as a little form of payback. I thought my bridesmaids dresses were so beeeeautiful. Turns out ALL of my bridesmaids hated them. oh well.

  28. Jenn

    If this thing went on tour it would be AWESOME. But really, you can’t send your wedding veil on tour can you? Because also? IT’S YOUR WEDDING VEIL.

  29. norm

    Veil? All I see is the gorgeous ear-to-ear I AM GOING TO HAVE THE JESUS-APPROVED SEX NOW smile!
    Gawd, I love weddings.

  30. Kathleen

    That veil is something else! It looks like those blue ribbons they give out at country fairs! I guess you were the grand prize!

  31. Jennifer

    Are we allowed to laugh? I hope so, because I am CHUCKLING!
    Aside from the largeness of the veil, you look beautiful…and I suspect that at the time you were very HIP.

  32. Y

    Jennifer– You HAVE to laugh. I don’t know if I can respect anyone who DOESN’T laugh at that. SRSLY.

  33. supertiff

    i bet you seriously felt beautiful that day, though.
    and, really? if you got to feel like a princess, AND you get to have a laugh years later? well. that’s a great combo right there.

  34. Erin

    A BIG beautiful smile is what I see first. You look amazing-in spite of the huge veil and sleeves!

  35. Burgh Baby

    Really, I don’t think your neck minded the big, heavy veil. I’m thinking it wasn’t actually at the wedding. At least, I can’t see it with that BIG collar.
    At least you had a BIG smile. That’s what matters.

  36. Susan

    I got married in ’93 and had the big poofy veil and big poofy sleeves, too. It was the fashion then! Hopefully one that never returns! 😉

  37. DeannaBanana

    I absolutely LOVE how it is the same size as the platter I serve my Thanksgiving turkey on. It just makes that whole scenario that much more special.

  38. DeannaBanana

    Also, send it to me in Florida. I will totally play a complete round of golf in it at my elitist home club and then rock the Friday night clique happy-hour in the thanksgiving veil.

  39. rayshell

    My husband says you look like you belong in a Lisa Lisa video. :) totally 80’s….you look great!

  40. Emily

    You look insanely happy in those pics for all those things you mention (perhaps it is the impending sexual antics)
    Buy my favourite pic is of the cake – DAMN that is a big cake!

  41. kris

    I still can’t believe that the people who supposedly “LOVE” me actually let me wear that thing without sitting me down to express concern.
    Thanks to that sentence and all that came after, I’m currently mopping up the diet coke I spit out off of my keyboard.

  42. TX Poppet

    How the hell did you find a picture of MY dress?! Seriously, puffy linebacker shoulders with extraneous sleeve bows, a big ol’ bow on da bum, and an over the top poofy head sucker. I saved my dress just in case my daughter wants some of the beading but there is no way she’ll ever wear it as is. Of course, she probably won’t want to listen to me any more than I wanted to listen to my Mum who urged “Simple classic lines-after all dear, you’ll have these photos for the rest of your life”. Sigh.

  43. pam

    I was obsessed with replicating Scarlet O’Hara’s white and green BBQ dress for my wedding so you? have no right to shame.
    You looked radiant actually and I’m sure for that time, it was high fashion. Just like leg warmers and off the shoulder sweat shirts! What did Tony wear?

  44. Lurker Girl

    I got married in ’89–same style sress–HUGE bell sleeves and a veil that poked eyes out–except mine had a LOVELY headband of Pearls to hold it on. My bangs were rocking too!!!
    Ahh–totally the sytle. No one talked us out of it because that iw what it was back then!!
    BTW–you looked so happy and beautiful!

  45. ali

    if you send it to me…i swear i will wear it in a really embarrassing public place. like, um, to work, maybe :)

  46. lani

    Thanks for sweet little girl Gabby’s who give us the right perspective. She knows what beautiful is. She’s right, you know?

  47. Kay

    Well they say the bigger the hair the closer to God so maybe veils mean the closer your MARRIAGE will be to heaven, um, like and LOOK how long your marriage has lasted. Congrats! It worked! :)

  48. that girl

    I SWEAR to GOD I had the SAME veil. Married in 1992. I remember my hairstylist actually hairsprayed the veil itself to make it stand up as tall as possible.

  49. BOSSY

    But look at how *happy* you were! That grin! Are you saying that someone should have wrecked that for you? Not Bossy. Your smile is too fantastic.

  50. Valeta

    I should have borrowed that veil when I got married in 2006.
    We had a very plain courthouse wedding. My hair was in a pony tail.
    I think the veil is awesome.

  51. honeywine

    Hee hee…every now and again, I see one of those at the Goodwill and I always wonder who wore it. Now I know! Thanks for putting a face to the veil! lol

  52. Ξ_Heather

    I love that veil! I think we have an obligation to our children to give them something to laugh at us for, and clothing is the obvious choice (though sadly not the only one, at least in my household). Plus, look at that smile of yours — your veil isn’t the only thing that’s big!
    If it ever goes on tour, I totally want to be one of the recipients.

  53. Leslie

    I got married in Reno in my jeans because my cheap ass parents and in-laws refused to help pay for a wedding. Yes, they both had the money, and no, I didn’t want a circus like Princess Diana, just a nice dress, ring, and to be married in a church. I was so pissed, I refused to take a single picture to spite them. The only person I ended up spiting was myself because neither set of parents gave a shit.
    You cake is awesome, though. :)

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