Rushed (and also: Jers-ay!!)

I’m insanely busy because I’ll be leaving tomorrow at 4 in the morning (!!) and I have packing to do and meals to plan and meatballs to make and lists to type and laundry to do and WHY DO I WAIT TIL THE LAST MINUTE TO DO EVERYTHING?
My kids are going to stay the night with my mom tonight and I keep cry every time that I think about not being able to kiss them goodbye when I leave for the airport. I’m such a wimp when it comes to leaving my family. I’m sure I’ll cry on a few shoulders while I’m away, lucky every single person who talks to me while I’m gone!!
I was pretty stressed about my weight and seeing people that I’ve not seen in a long time (or in EVER) but then a friend sent me an email that helped me snap out of it.

And you being big bothers you more than it bothers everyone else, you know, which is understandable…, but its also not like every time you write to me I’m thinking “oh it’s Yvonne in her mrs&plus size shirt”. Dude, like it’s Yvonne . Yah, so what, she wears mrs&plus size.

I really need to get over myself, yes?
I hate being fat, I do, but I love my friends and for maybe the first time in my life I’m choosing to love my friends MORE than I hate being fat.
Now, if only I could learn to love to fly because, MY GOD, I hate flying and have been known to scream things like “help me Jesus” during turbulence. I’m not proud of that, but I also am not ashamed to ask Jesus to save me from death by plane crash.
I should go pack, but before I go, I have to ask you, do you read The Blogess? If not, you really should, especially this post. It doesn’t get much funnier than that, folks.
(Except, on her blog, it totally does.)

17 thoughts on “Rushed (and also: Jers-ay!!)

  1. Lindy

    I told myself when I was big that I wasn’t going to stop doing the things I loved just because I was big. It was a huuuuge mindshift for me. I stopped making excuses and got out there and did things. I went to the beach and didn’t give a rats ass if I was the biggest person there. I went to bars and drank and sang (badly) and well just started living my life. Something really strange happened while I was forcing myself to do all these things- I started HAVING FUN and losing weight! It’s amazing what happens when you stop giving your weight so much power over you life. Have fun in Jersey.

  2. Lee

    I read your blog every day. Every day, my friend. I don’t know you. You don’t know me. This is my first post to you. I just want you to know that I agree with what your friend wrote. Size matters more to you than to others that love you. Really, it does. You obviously have an adoring family, lots of friends, and judging from the masses of comments every day, a loyal following. You are a beautiful, real, talented woman. Hug yourself (sorry – corny) and know that you are simply putting into words what many cannot seem to do.

  3. Angela

    I hope that when you get on the plane, there is a very kind and sweet person next to you that’ll talk your ear off all the way to your destination so that you get your mind off your fears :)
    Go and have yourself a GOOD time! You deserve it Y!

  4. Jenny, Bloggess

    1. Body dismorphic disorder. I think we both have it. Me more than you though because I keep having people ask me if I’m pregnant. People who know I’m on heavy drugs. *sigh*
    2. Right when you get on the plane ask the stewardess for a little bottle of amaretto. Then mix it with a bigger bottle of amaretto. This totally works. Also, get a taxi when you land.
    3. You totally made me blush.

  5. Mama DB

    I hope your flight is turbulence-free.
    I totally thought I saw you at Costco today. I was all, “Y, HEY Y! Yvonne! Girl, I know you hear me!” And “Y” was all, “What the hell is that woman shouting about? Girl needs to get a grip!” Guess it wasn’t you or if it was, you were probably right to run.

  6. Susan

    That is so true; your friend is very wise.
    I don’t like my friends because they’re thin, or pretty, or wear cute clothes, or have nice homes, or have great jobs, or whatever — I like my friends because of how they make me FEEL. They make me laugh, they bring out the best in me, and they make my life complete.
    My guess is that your friends would say the same about you.

  7. Jules

    I think you’re very lucky to have a friend that’s straight with you like that. You are so much more than what size you are and your friends totally don’t care.
    Have a great time in Jersey – and alcohol works great to cure the fear of flying.

  8. AA

    Have fun.I’m totally with ya on the flying thing and not just because of the fear,although that is huge. I also just hate the way it makes me feel and I have to take dramamine and I am too tall to sit in the seat comfortably. I really just hate everything about it, but, HA, I hate missing out on things more so I do it. Just try not to grab the leg or arm of the stranger sitting next to you. Makes for awkward moments.
    And the body thing— I’m 5’10 and weigh 135. I often think I am too fat (don’t go there I don’t puke or anything – just sayin I don’t always like my shape either) yet, I don’t think about my friends being over weight unless I really am forced to and then I realize tha yeah a lot fo them are, but I never notice it, and actually I think most of them look really good and normal. So, weird huh, and more validation that we nice normal people (I’m claimin it) just won’t be thinkin about that.

  9. JaniceNW

    Hi. I’m Janice and I wear plus size clothes from Lane Bryant. Am I happy being this size….no. But I refuse to stop life. I figure I work lots of weight off during nursing school next year! Y have a great, safe, and turbulent free trip!!!

  10. jac

    i’m in jer-say! hope you have a blast while you’re here. oh and you do realize that more than half of american adults are overweight? right? i know, it doesn’t make you feel a whole lot better cuz it don’t make me feel no better neither.

  11. Jennifer

    I’m also a first-time commenter. I found you through The Blogess and I’m so glad I did. I think you are wonderful!
    What your friend says is absolutely right! All of us need to tell our body issues and insecurities to suck a big bag of dicks and get on with LIVING our lives rather than let them hold us back. That, of course, is about a skillion times easier said than done…
    Have a GREAT time on your trip!

  12. Maria

    Everyone who sees you is thinking “Woot! It’s Yvonne from Joy Unexpected. I can’t believe I’m standing next to HER!!!”
    Have a fabulous time and thank you for the lead to the funny. I really need it.

  13. Candy

    This was an awesome post and just what I needed to hear. I’ve gained some weight since going back to work (what is it about a new office…I gain weight every time I change jobs) and I haven’t seen my friends since then. I’m going ot see them Saturday night and am so embarrassed at how big I am. But…hopefully I can remember this, that they really don’t care, and they’ll just be glad to see me after 8 months. I’m going to try hard. Thanks, Y.

  14. Izzy

    Can I just tell you, in a totally “I swear I’m not a a stalker and you should know that by now” kind of way that you are beautiful and a lot of fun and just seriously, like a ray of sunshine (okay, now dying of dorkiness for having just typed that but whatever).
    People that know you would totally agree. For reals :)

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