Today, I Choose Cheese.

Dance like no one is watching.

The past few days I’ve made a conscience effort to tune out the negative thoughts and feelings that I’ve been dealing with and tune into my children. I wanted to see life through their eyes. I’ve really focused on them and the way that they live their lives.

I genuinely enjoy my children. They’re fabulous people, each in their own unique ways. Their love for life is inspiring.

They each have things in their life that they are passionate about.
Music.

Basketball.

Lipstick.

I can’t tell you the last time that I’ve felt passionate about something in life.

I listen to my oldest son play his guitar, a song that he taught himself simply by listening. It amazes me that he can learn a song by ear and master it in a matter of hours.

I watch my second born son shoot the basketball for hours, without tiring, trying to better himself, even though he is consistently the best player on his team. Yet, every day, he strives to be better.

I watch my daughter sit on her bed, reading story after story– taking a break to re-apply her lipstick while singing songs about how pretty her lipstick looks and how much she loves her mommy.

They’re happy. They’re content. They enjoy their simple little life here with me and their Dad.

Watching life through the eyes of my children has taught me something– I’ve been simply trying to get through each day, but not allowing myself to experience the beauty that each day holds. I want to experience the beauty and joy of life again.

And I think that I will end this post RIGHT HERE before I say something REALLY cheesy like “TODAY, I CHOOSE LIFE.”

51 thoughts on “Today, I Choose Cheese.

  1. CA

    I love you, Y. And I love your kids! More good kid stories. I bet if you came here at least once a week and posted a positive story about your kids, you would feel that much more positive about life. Like today. :)

  2. JoAnn

    Y,
    I am in a huge funk and its mostly about my stinking weight. Your posts have spoken to me and I can relate so much with how you are feeling. I adore my husband and children and lately I feel like I have just been going through the motions of life. When will I get that this is it?? This is not a dress rehearsal?? I am 41 and I need to just stop being a whiner about my stupid weight, and stop being a spectator in this life. Why is it so hard for us women? Please keep posting about your ups and your downs- your words resonate with all of us.

  3. Jason

    Great post. There’s nothing like looking at life through the eyes of a child, before they’re forever jaded by the realities of adulthood. We should all strive for the joys they experience.

  4. Christine

    “They’re happy. They’re content. They enjoy their simple little life here with me and their Dad.”
    I think that’s beautiful. I know I was like that as a kid. I grew up fairly poor but I had no idea because I was just happy with what I had. It wasn’t until I grew up that I became discontent with everything. I wish I could have held on to that contentment and I hope your children do. maybe we can learn to experience that joy again :)

  5. Helen

    I have been sick for 6 months, really sick, welts and wheals all over my body, swollen and painful everything, stupid skin falling off, I have been depressed because I am ill, found out yesterday that actually I am ill because I am depressed..which is depressing, then, like you I look at what I have and I just want to bloody well enjoy it! So I shall choose Cheese for me too. Thanks Y!

  6. *pixie*

    Y, will you be my friend? This was beautiful. More people should live this way. I know that having a baby (who will be a year in just under two weeks, sob…) has given me a fresh look on the wonders of life.

  7. pmsing

    I LOVE the picture. Truly a moment in time.
    Have you ever though of digital scrapbooking your pictures?
    I sent you some info at your gmail email
    on hypothyroidism (I had it for 16 years). You are not alone girl…I have been there and done that. Things will get better

  8. baseballmom

    God, Y, me too! I’ve been feeling this way for a long time, and I guess I just don’t know how to start. I need to make a conscious effort to just BE, and enjoy my world the way it is! Thanks for reminding me~

  9. Amy M.

    YAY for cheese! I LOVE cheese! And I love days when you drown out negative thoughts and shower us with positivity and light and by light – I mean you and your family!

  10. Dani

    Your kids wouldn’t be as fabulous as they are without you Y. I think it is ADORABLE that your daughter sits on her bed and sings about how pretty she is. You are part of that! Best mom ever, I’m telling you.

  11. Katie

    Y- I know you closed comments on your earlier post so we wouldn’t blow sunshine up your ass, and trust me, I respect that. But as someone with a chronic health condition myself (and yea, it hurts everytime I say that, because no one wants to admit it), I feel like I just need to say a little something.
    First, as much as I’m betting you feel it, you are NOT ALONE.
    Second, no one begrudges you the right to be upset about this. It sucks. It will suck for a while. That’s okay.
    You have take this one step at a time and deal with what you can feel like you can deal with. No one is expecting you to wake up tomorrow morning and feel great, you can only do what you can do, and that will be enough. Your kids and husband still love you and though you may not believe it, you’re still a good mother, friend, companion and blogger.
    I think we all need to sit in bed, read some books and sing about how much we love ourselves. With lipstick of course.

  12. Angella

    I love cheese, in all its forms. It is good to sit back and just enjoy life sometimes, even through the eyes of others.
    xoxo

  13. JenniferB

    All hail cheese! And P.S. You are my hero. Seriously. I sit on the couch, watching Biggest Loser, wishing I was that motivated and hello — I am SITTING ON THE COUCH watching other people work out?! But you motivate me to believe that I am good no matter what, and the joy I find in my children is a good start. Thank you for that.

  14. josey

    atta girl!!!! :):)
    one day and one positive thought at a time =)
    btw, i’ve never told you how gorgeous your photos are. that camera totally rocks and you use it well. it doesnt hurt that you have the most lovely things to capture in time, either!
    and i bet any amount of cheese you had the sparkliest sparkles in your eyes while taking that photo!!

  15. Missy

    Damn, girl. That was good.
    Happy for you, and thank you for making me think in this light again – For the last little while, I’ve been falling into a black hole of depression and anger, for no good reason, and today I woke up feeling better… My kids are my rays of light. Thanks for solidifying that with your post.

  16. Linda

    Awww! I love cheese! Cheese of all kinds! And it would seem cheese is good for you! ;o) Bring it ON!
    Y, you are an awesome human being! An awesome wife, and mother! Really, in big scheme of things, that’s all that matters! Right? Cause then, everything else will just fall in line. When you get to feeling bad about things, just think of what you wrote about in this post, smile, and move forward. It’s hard, I know…but possible. :o)

  17. Sharon - Pinks & Blues

    Love your blog… first time commenting. Practically forever, or at least since high school when I first read Thornton Wilder’s play Our Town (actually, this line knocked me over way back then and it’s become my life’s philosophy from 1967 to today!)… “Choose an unimportant day. Choose the least important day in your life. It will be important enough.”
    The big days are most always memorable. The other days, the other moments, are the fabric of our lives. You’ve captured that!
    Sharon – Pinks & Blues

  18. Jamie AZ

    This is a great post. I’ve been having moments/days lately where I’m not very happy, either, and as I laid in bed last night, I was thinking about what I need to do to make “me” happy at this point. I’m tired of the negativity, too. So today I’m going to make a list of things that I want to do for me so that I can start focusing on that rather than the things that make me mad, sad, etc. And maybe some fluffy sandals like Gabby has would help! :)

  19. Gabby

    I can totally relate to you. There are days that I feel like crap because of my weight, but I look at my kids and they are the ones that give me the strenght to keep going. Dont give up Y, you are a beautiful person inside and out. Learn to love yourself for WHO you are. I am hooked on your blog, becuase somehow, I relate to the things that you go through. Just remember that you have people that you dont even know that care about you and feel somewhat connected to you.
    Love
    Gabby

  20. The Over-Thinker

    This is lovely :) I think we all need to take the time and focus on the positive, which I will now refer to as “pausing to re-apply lipstick”– because it feels good.

  21. Bree

    Y- Your blog is so real. I appreciate your honesty and I pray for your recovery. Your blog truly brings me joy, and when I check my RSS reader for updates – I always choose you first. (Even over the Perez) Get well soon so you can take more pictures of of your crazed neighbor!!

  22. Danielle

    Hey, we all need to be a little cheesy every now and then. It keeps us from turning into Rush Limbaugh.
    I was watching Children of Man recently, and one of the characters made a remark about “a world without children’s voices”.
    It struck me then that children and the innocence they display are essential, because without them we would all completely forget why we should be smiling.

  23. Artist Unplugged

    Sounds like you have an awesome family. First time reader of your site. Not sure of all your health issues but know the depressed feeling with having problems. Hang in there, keep focusing on those great kids.

  24. dana michelle

    Love this post. And I have to say (again) what an exquisitely beautiful child Gabby is. That photo could win an award!
    And I have to admit that I am JEALOUS that you have lovely lush grass!! Ours is still buried under dirty old snow here and it’s gonna be awhile before we see ANY grass (let alone GREEN) again :(!

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