Let’s play a game. Every time I say “My Thyroid” you get to punch me in the vagina.

It’s been 25 days since I began taking my daily thyroid medication and guess what? I still feel like ass.
And not a happy ass either. A sad, tired, balding, forgetful, dry, fat ass.
There have been a few positive things happen since I began taking my medication (.25mg of Levothro*d). Within 4 days I started my period, which had been missing since the beginning of November. I also initiated Sessual Relations. TWICE! That may not sound like a big deal, but considering that the last few times we’ve had Sex I actually asked “do you care if I just lay here?” (Answer: of COURSE NOT!) it was a pretty big deal to me.
But, for the most part, there’s not been a significant change since I started the meds.
I feel particularly bad today.
“How bad do you feel?”
I feel SO bad that I took G to day care, even though it was my day off and I slept from 8:30 to 10:30.
I did manage to drag my ass out of bed and head to Kohls to buy a new outfit.
Shutup! At least it's not the black Daisy Fuentes suit!
Sadly, it’s another track suit, but! It’s not velour! And it’s not of the Daisy Fuentes variety! (About the striped shirt… It fit. I bought it. Howza’bout we never speak of it again. Ok?)
I also began the process of cleaning out my closet. I had been thinking about doing it for some time now (which is why I wrote the post and decided to share my humiliating “one outfit” secret with you.) I knew it was time, and the comments that were left on the post gave me the “push” that I needed to do it. That said, it hasn’t been easy packing things up. Why is it so damn hard for me to get rid of these clothes? I’ll tell you why. They remind me of a time in my life where I was healthy and happy. They remind me of concerts I went to with friends that I loved. They remind me of nights I would put on my Stetson hat and Justin Ropers and go Line Dancing (Don’t make me bust out The Watermelon Crawl.) They remind me of a time when I could buy clothes because they were cute and not because they made me look a little less obese.
There were a few pieces in particular that I’m having a hard time letting go of, but I’ve pulled out a storage box from the garage and they’re going to a local thrift shop this weekend.
Picture or Video 1732
This dress from Old Navy is probably the one that is the hardest for me to part with and probably because it’s a size 6. I can pull this dress out at any time and say “Look! I used to wear a size 6!” I’ve secretly dreamed of fitting in that dress again for EIGHT YEARS. Time to let go of the dream.
Same goes for these (short) shorts from Old Navy.
Picture or Video 1741
I’ve not worn shorts since somewhere around 1999 and yet I hold onto those shorts if only to hold them up and say “I can’t believe I used to fit in these.”
It’s time to move on.
That doesn’t mean I have to give up on losing weight. That doesn’t mean that I’ll never fit in a size that I feel comfortable in again. It just means it’s time to start living in the here and now. And the “here and now” is a size 20, not a size six. DID YOU HEAR THAT BRAIN?
I absolutely have to focus all of my energy and getting healthy and right now getting healthy starts with getting my thyroid medications just right so that my body is functioning properly.
I’m tired of feeling the way that I feel and I’m hoping that adding a few pieces to my one outfit wardrobe will perhaps add a little joy to my daily life because I’m tired of looking so damn…
Hashimoto.
Picture or Video 1770
(Taken last night, just before bed. I know.)

84 thoughts on “Let’s play a game. Every time I say “My Thyroid” you get to punch me in the vagina.

  1. Diz

    Not instantly feeling better? Totally normal. My doc kept tweaking my dosage and I kept getting pissed. “I DON’T FEEL ANY DIFFERENT!”
    .25mg is low. They may adjust in increments; I went from .5 to .75 to .88 and finally, I’m at 1, and my levels are apparently good.
    But holy crap, I wish I had thought to start using Hashimoto as an adjective. All I did was bitch about thyroids and Oprah and me needing a one month trip to Hawaii like Ope for months.
    Good luck, Y!

  2. Y

    Did you just call Oprah “OPE?”
    Because that is honestly the greatest thing I’ve heard all day.
    And I’m thinking of shortening it to “Hash.” As in “I’m not trying to be a bitch, I’m just feeling very Hash right now and need a nap.”

  3. Rhi

    I had those shorts in 1999! And, a pair in Khaki!
    I think I JUST got rid of them, but I kept them because they were a size 2. And, I was also 20, in 1999, which is the only reason why I probably fit into a size 2. That and the cigarette and vodka diet I was on.
    I hope you start to feel fabulous soon! I know you will!!

  4. misty

    I think it’s pretty normal not to feel 100% better right away. Like Diz mentioned above me, sometimes it takes some tweaking of the dosage. I started at .25 and have gone all the way up to .150. Sometimes I had to demand that my levels be checked because I knew I didn’t feel right, and 99% of the time I have been right and my dosage needed to be higher. Eventually if you don’t feel better, you’re going to have to go in and be rechecked. Good luck, and congrats on the new outfit…I LOVE track suits.

  5. Y

    Yeah, people told me that. That I may not feel better right away. That I’d probably have to rechecked and have my dosage changed a few times.
    I guess I just kinda hoped it would work right away, because I feel so bad. You know?
    I’m trying to be patient and hopeful. It’s hard on days like today, but hearing from people like you who have been there and are going through it, helps.

  6. Stephanie

    Wait! I kept a dress from my high school graduation because it was a size 4 from the gap. I kept it because it was pretty and I thought I would really want to wear it again. Then I got fat. Then I lost weight. Then I tried on the dress. And you know what. It was tooooo big. And really it was freaking ugly as hell. But that was the best feeling in the world to know that it was too big. So sure, get rid of some stuff, but keep something too so that you can put it on one day and it will be too big!

  7. Diz

    Yep, I called her Ope. Me and Ope are “like this”! (Also, it reminds me of that old school episode of Fresh Prince where Will’s like “Ope…rah. Oprah” and Carlton does his dance to the 80′s Oprah theme.
    We should start a Hash group. Because if we did that, and people just read the word, they’d think something else entirely!

  8. witchypoo

    Hooray for a new outfit, and hooray for the return of your horny!
    As long as it’s progress, you can maybe see a light at the end of the tunnel.
    You’re on your way.

  9. Beth B.

    i just wanted to say that you’re brave for sharing your story – and hang in there sister; you know you’re not alone. sorry you weren’t feeling like sunshine today but i’m glad you took care of yourself (by taking a nap) and i’m glad you got out and got a new outfit. it is a cute one and looks comfy. keep on keepin’ on!!
    Beth (tired mommy to a busy 4.5 yr old)

  10. laura

    don’t punch me in the vagina, but what’s your temperature?
    i have a thyroid disorder and i remember feeling awful constantly before i was properly diagnosed too.

  11. Lisa Milton

    It may not help but I gotta say it anyway: maybe the medicine takes time to kick in. Like that’s a new comment.
    I get frustrated every time I moan about losing weight after The Great Prednisone Experiment to my doctor to chides me I was on it for nine months, expect the same coming off it.
    It’s like pregnancy, without the cute and clothes.
    Crap.
    Take care. I think you are darling.

  12. Angie

    Hey! I just started reading your blog, and you know, have you ever been checked for polycycstic ovarian syndrome, also known as PCOS? Weight gain, messed up blood sugars, polyps on the ovaries, missed periods, etc. I have it, and my little 120lb friend had it and gained like 50 lbs in a year because of it. Might be worth checking out. I love your blog!

  13. sylvia

    You are my inspiration. I don’t have Hashimotos but I do need to 1) lose weight (drastically!!!!) and 2) live in the here and now.
    I’ve started taking photographs of myself (after 2 years of hiding) to try to deal with my weight as it is NOW and not how I think it should be. And using those photographs to remind me to do the damned exercises (Tuesday and Thursday work-outs, if you want to send sympathy) and not pile the tostadas up with sour cream.
    You are much too pretty to be depressed :/

  14. rebecca

    Y: you are so funny and gorgeous. I honestly don’t remember if I’ve ever commented here or not, but I just wanted to say that.
    I hope you feel better soon.

  15. amanda

    As others have said, and you’ve already heard… it does take a while. And that sucks and can be heartbreaking if it goes on very long. (If it DOES go on very long, make sure you are seeing a competent endocrinologist and not just a primary care dr.) Hang in there and hang on to knowing that you’ve been diagnosed accurately and are beginning treatment.

  16. Donna

    Those shorts remind me of the 25-year-old black leather miniskirt that’s hanging in my closet for no reason at all (because there’s nothing more horrifying than a 50-year-old dressed like that!)
    As others have said, don’t give up on the medication. We all have different body chemistry and there’s a lot of trial and error in getting to the right dosage — and even then it will take time. When your doctor gets it right, you will definitely feel better.
    And, when your body is able to start letting go of the extra weight, you’ll get to clean your closet out again, only this time, you will ENJOY parting its contents and replacing them with cuter, smaller ones.

  17. Kristen

    No offense to what I’m sure is your lovely vahjoyjoy (heh get it?), I’d must rather do a shot.
    But then I’d be wasted and wouldn’t be able to tell you…
    DUDE. Those shorts. It’s really okay to throw them away. :)

  18. chris

    be glad that 20 is not the size that you are ecstatic to be down to! this has been a bigger deal than i can believe … fight the good fight! chris

  19. Meegan

    I’m glad to hear you are moving forward with your plans to clean closets and buy some clothes that fit! Ultimately, you will be happier living in the here and now. It’s hard! But you can do it! Yes, you can!
    Now, I must go to bed because it’s 7:30 and while I’m not Hashimoto’s, I’m preggers and fucking exhausted.

  20. Angella

    Just think – when you are feeling better, and feeling more fit, you now have EVERY REASON TO GO SHOPPING.
    I have never dealt with a thyroid problem, but you seem to be doing everything you can to get better.
    Keep up the good work!

  21. Redneck Mommy

    Make sure your levels get checked regularly and the meds get adjusted until you DO start to feel better. And you will. I PROMISE.
    And honey, I think you are beautiful. There is a light that just shines from you. It must be the rainbows I see shooting out of your arse.
    Hang tough, friend.

  22. Jerri Ann

    I have commented on your blog more since the Hash entered your life than ever before. But, no you won’t feel good right away and yes it might take a while to get the levels right.
    Secondly, I still have a pair of cut offs that were really jeans that I actually cut off, didn’t even buy them that way, from 1992, I’m certain I have you all beat on that one. However, I currently wear my maternity shorts instead.
    One thing for sure, I wish you could see a photo of me in the mornings when I first get up.You have a better complexion than I do, otherwise, we look like twins. My face is swollen in the morning and yours is not all “overweight”, some of it is swelling that will go away once the meds are regulated. Why you ask is mine still swollen then? Because I had thyroid problems in…..1994…things got better around …1997……now my thyroid is gone bizerk again…..ermmm… The Hash? In full force. So, I’m waiting to get my levels right. I have been on an increased dose for 3 weeks so I figure it will be at least 3 more before I even remotely feel better. I had been on the old dose for 3 months prior.
    Anyway, at least as long as you are talking Hash, I’m a commenting fool over here. Talk on girl!

  23. jesseeezmom

    LOVED the pix of the old clothes.. To preface I HAVE donated my clothes since high school but I have held on to a pair of 501′s that I wore when I was 21(I’m 40) size 28×38 I had pegged the legs and removed the pockets (fancy! huh?) When I saw your dress you’ve been holding on to- I thought why oh Y?, then I realized I have a VERY funky pair of pants, that REALLY need to make their way to Goodwill! Thank You for the inspiration! xoxo Hope you feel better!
    I was diagnosed w/PCOS and carbs are not my friend, but the dreaded elyptical is. Lucky Me! :-)

  24. Brandy

    YAY! You bought another outfit AND cleaned out your closet. Things can only get better for you from here! All the best, and I hope you have the Doc check your levels.

  25. Jerri Ann

    One more thing, I can’t wear those outfits like that, you look good in them, but me…the straddle hangs to my knees if I can find them to fit in the waist. So, consider yourself lucky!

  26. baseballmom

    Feel better, girl. I find that adding just one thing to my wardrobe makes me feel really good. I can’t afford to do too much, but just one at a time is actually kinda better! A really good place to go is Catherine’s, because you can wear one of the SMALLEST sizes there, and voila, that makes you feel awesome!

  27. Karen

    Ok, I have had some beers, so this will likely be nonsensical…My thoughts have been that you have been Hypo since th G unit was born. I have had this plague for nearly 9 years. I did the whole lyvoxil(sp? who cares, it sux). I begged my Dr. for Armour for a YEAR!! Nope, my levels were awesome! I felt like dog shit, realy like dog shit, the kind that has been stepped in…Whatever. I told him, look, I feel like dog shit, you say the blood work looks good, give me armour for 2 months, if I still feel like dog shit and my blood starts to look bad, I’ll change back to your crappy meds and likely shoot myself in a year. He agreed, only because I threatened to change doctors on his ass…2 weeks!!! I felt better. No more itchy dry skin, no more hair loss, no more brain fog, nothing!!! I felt normal. I will say that I never had the weight issue, but damn girl, I didn’t need to wait 3 years to get a diagnossis. My thyroid swelled up like a balloon and I was afraid! Of ‘cancer’ and other nasty shit. My TSH was 47.5, 6 weeks postpartum. Dr. had no idea how I was even upright. Just saying, from what I have read on Mary Showman’s site, Armour seems to do best with postpartum thyroiditis. If you want to ‘discuss’ you can email me.

  28. lomara

    They remind me of nights I would put on my Stetson hat and Justin Ropers and go Line Dancing (Don’t make me bust out The Watermelon Crawl.)
    AHHH! I have been dying to learn how to line dance, and I don’t have any friends who are remotely interested in going. Will you teach me and go with me? :) I have the hat and boots and everything!
    P.S. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism about 9 years ago, and I totally understand everything you’ve been talking about. Last year, my doctor wanted to test my thyroid function using some kind of radioactive isotope. (it was a little pill they kept it in a bulletproof glass box thing and it was refrigerated, and it was just weird.) So I had to go off my meds for 6 weeks to prepare for the special test. Keep in mind I’d been on the same dosage for about 8 years. And let me tell you, I got all those crummy symptoms back and my hair was falling out in clumps. Once I went back on the meds, it took about 2 and a half months to get back to feeling normal and for the hair loss and fatigue and scaly skin to go away. I’m not saying it will be the same for you, but just keep it in mind. Your doctor has also not finalized your dosage, and you may not be taking enough of the hormone just yet. It took months of testing for them to find the right dosage for me. (tip: even multivitamins affect your absorption of the hormone. Don’t take any vitamins with your daily pill. Wait at least an hour before doing the vitamin and breakfast thing. Learn from my mistakes )

  29. Marilyn

    I’m really sorry about not feeling better. I found that once I started meds that I didn’t necessarily feel any better either. I didn’t just magically lose weight like I thought (hoped) I would either. BUT, the good news is I didn’t feel any worse. I guess I’ve had a little more energy in general. I’ve been less depressed. My hair has started to look a little better too. But it’s definitely not overnight. I wish it were.
    But I want to give you a big hug and congrats for going through your closet. That’s a hard step to make, but it will be better for you in the long run. Look at it this way; it’s like tempting fate. The “worst” case scenario is that you need to go buy new clothes. Oh darn! :)

  30. ali

    hon…i don’t know if this will make you feel better…but when my sister when on meds for her thyroid, it was months before they regulated it and got the right dosage amount and she didn’t feel better or lose weight for a while…but once she did…the weight FLEW off of her and she felt GREAT.
    hugs.

  31. supertiff

    may my cloest take a lesson from you.
    *shakes fist at closet*
    p.s.
    i’m sorry i didn’t comment on your last post. i so totally was with you, and knew exactly what you were talking about, but i’m just not as good as you about being open about those kinds of feelings. so, i said nothing.
    and i’m sorry.
    but i do really, REALLY thank you for being braver than i am.

  32. justmylife

    Hope you feel better real soon. The new outfit looks great. I totally understand hanging on to old clothes. I do the same thing and hubs complains he has no closet room so I must get rid of some things. I look at each thing and hang it back in the closet thinking, ” I will lose those 20 pounds and fit into that again!” Hang in there, it will get better.

  33. Carrie

    Just don’t be like my Hashimoto-havin’ mom, who just accepts her doctor’s assurances that “well, some of that is age-related and normal” and goes around feeling miserable. I’m like, “Mom, you’re exhausted, scatterbrained, weepy, and feeling terrible! Go make him check you!” and she’s all, “Well, maybe…” Drives me nuts. I think it’s that the doctors finally got her to doubt herself, and she can’t get out of that hole.
    Don’t get in the hole! :-/

  34. Pam

    I’m right there with you!! I could list all of my “issues” right now, including my size 26/28 track suit (so there!) but it would crash your server. Suffice to say, I still believe this is the year of the woman and all the women who want to CAN get healthy, and that doesn’t mean just losing weight, it means healthy in every aspect.
    Keep looking forward Y!! You’re already starting to get better. And you are still beautiful!!

  35. MariaC

    I could not write my own experiences as clearly and vividly as you do. Everything you have written applies exactly to me. I wish you luck, and will follow your progresses. I also have one outfit and I hate it anyway. I do not go out unless I have to…Be good, be! MC.

  36. Yak

    Here’s a thought… do you have anyplace you can just store the skinny clothes in airtight containers rather than get rid of them permanently? That way you can get clothes that fit into your closet and still hold onto the hope that you’ll wear the others again some day. Or store some stuff and discard everything that is size X or under (X being whatever you want… 10, 12, whatever?)

  37. Jessica Davenport

    It takes a while to kick in, I was diagnosed at 25 and it took months for me to feel better even though my Hash was pretty mild.
    If your doctor won’t listen to you find a new one, or look for an endocrinologist (specialize in endocrine disorders, i.e. thyroid) who is sympathetic to your ability to know when something’s wrong with your body. I’ve been to great endo’s who put me on meds when my levels were still technically within “normal” ranges because my family history’s full of hypothyroidism and I was feeling the tiredness (read: I could not get off the couch no matter how much sleep I got at night) and also to one who told me (after I’d been on synthroid for years) that it was “all in my head” and she didn’t think I had thyroid disease at all so I should stop taking the meds. Uh huh. Would’ve gone back and punched her but I was too tired!!!

  38. langus

    The cool thing is, you can wear that green shirt from your one outfit post, with your new track suit and it will still match! So now instead of having 2 outfits, you actually have four!
    This too shall pass. xo

  39. Candy

    Maybe if you convince yourself that even if you lost all the weight, you probably wouldn’t wear those particular clothes again anyway. Because they are like 10 years old and no one is wearing those anymore?
    And tell your doctor if the meds aren’t right. I hear thyroid meds have to be played around with until they get just the right cocktail that works for you. Or better yet, have a cocktail.

  40. KarateMom

    Hey, thanks for sharing so openly. That’s one of my favorite things about your blog…that and the “punch me in the vajayjay” phrases that you write that make me laugh. (Just the phrase…not the idea. I’d never want to punch anyone in the vajayjay!)
    I kept some snap-at-the-crotch bodysuits for AGES because I was waiting for them to fit again. Finally, I got rid of them and decided that if I was ever down to that size again, I’d reward myself by buying something NEW that fit…and was IN STYLE!

  41. christine Gill

    you are awesome. and didja know, speaking of vaginas, that when i was little (actually, i’m pretty sure that you didn’t know this) i wanted to name my baby doll Clitoris. I pronounced it Clit-OR-is and had no idea what it meant.
    i was told i absolutely could not name my doll (tiny tears) that so I went with Sharon instead.

  42. Aunt Becky

    Dude, I’ve had thyroid issues for several years, and my levels went nuts after my second son was born (in March). When they realized this (in October) I got a referral to an endocrinologist.
    Since October, I’ve been having my dosage tweaked every 4-6 weeks and you know what? I STILL FEEL LIKE CRAP. It’s normal to not see overnight results, and try your best to remember that it will get better.
    (my dosage still isn’t right, so I know how frustrated you must feel)

  43. CATE

    Dude, I’m begging you to find an endocrinologist so you can get the meds at the dosage you need. Your doctor is a fuck up. I’m sorry, but this is ridiculous. You have been on the meds long enough that you should feel dramatically different. That you don’t is a clear indication that what you are taking is not enough. Some brands work better than others (and you should NEVER take generic thyroid meds) and this dosage you’re on is low enough that my toddler could take it and be fine. I’m serious. I know you want to feel better. I know you do. But your doctor is not helping your cause at all with this ridiculously passive treatment. PLEASE FIND AN ENDO!!!!!!!!!

  44. Lisse

    Small steps. Really.
    And,
    It’s not that they don’t fit, it’s that they are almost 10 years old and are no longer in style.

  45. Kay

    For the above poster: :)
    Dude they SO should of told you that it is a slow fucking process to up your meds to get you “normal” feeling again. Really long. Like up to a year sometimes longer.
    7 years here and I still don’t feel 100%. I know you want to hear about sunshine and baby butts and roses but that is the truth but it DOES GET BETTER. Promise.

  46. andi

    So happy I’m not the only one who uses the phrase “punch in the vagina.”
    Anyhow, I’ll just echo what everyone else already said – it may take awhile for your meds to get to a level where they are helpful AND you are gorgeous. Gorgeous.

  47. victoria

    thanks, Y. your post helped me so much today. i hope somebody smiles at you tomorrow for no reason and it makes you smile, too ;)

  48. CATE

    In case anyone misunderstood my previous comment, I know it takes a long time to make you feel 100%. I have a whole lot of personal experience with this. I also know that after 25 days, Y should feel some change and from her post, it doesn’t sound like she does. I also know from personal experience that endocrinologists will take a much more thorough approach to treating the problem…lab results AND patient feedback. It’s clear from Y’s history with doctor that s/he does not do a great job of listening to Y’s pleas for help. That is all.

  49. Gruppie Girl

    Oh Honey. I feel for you.
    I too have been batling hashimotos, thyroiditis and a goiter. The only difference is that my doctor still won’t put me on any medication.
    All of the symptoms make me feel like I’m just a lazy sometimes. I almost wish that I had some blaring symptom, like my hair turns pink, that can show everyone that I am trying my best and this is not in my head.
    Stay strong. You are not alone.

  50. Lynn

    I also have a thyroid issue and I can agree (with the few that I read) that it takes a lot of time to level out. It’s so difficult…but go with your gut and call the dr if you are not happy…also – don’t take the levoxyl with any calcium, vitamins, or food. Apparently they weaken the effects. GOOD LUCK!!!!

  51. Dani

    Eh it takes a while for things to get balanced AND find the right dosage for your meds, I promise. I started on .25 mcg which worked for about, oh, 2 days and then I was back to shitty. They just upped me to .5 mcg and things are 10x better. I can actually poop! I’ve lost weight! I’m not tired all the time. You’ll find the right dose, just keep bugging your doctor. You REALLY should be seeing an endocrinologist if you have Hasimotos. Kaiser shouldn’t give you a problem with that.

  52. erinn

    Y~ Please help, how do I tell my dr of 5 million years thst I belive this is what I have (I know this is not the bee incident) I am totally rational right this sec! They have me put on anti depress, bi-polar (I talk alot and fast, im not bi polar) (your deleting this now) They have me on anxiety nmeds, and ambein..WTF….. So I said for shits and giggles and because I have been on synthroid prior to my gastric bypass…. now since I have lost the weight I no longer have a thyroid problem, … well I went into the docs office and I said please for the love of god and all that is holy..(sorry Y’s parents) Please give me a nother thyroid test not just the simple one, the one w/ like 3-4 different things as well… So she did, she calls me back 2 days later and is saying “oh honey we need to get you immediately on 75 mg of syhthroid and well see what happens after 4 weeks (my number was 36.46) Low and behold, I see your thyroid is bad also….I do feel better, but honestly Y I can sleep 48 hours straight, my boys are starting to see somethings serioulsy wrong w/ mom…. How do I get her to see this Hash as a thyroid problem… Is that uncommon, ? You have prob passed out trying to read my short freaking novel… I have now done research ahd heard of Armor… Im wondering if that is scary… My hope Y is.. IM not “depressed” bi-flipping-polar” lazy, I want this thyroid to win all… Ill go to every party with you from this day forward and do the worm naked if they cab figure this shiznit out.. sorry I rambled, its late, a piece of scone was calling my name, I just don’t want to have to put the worlds cutest gurl dr in a choke hold with her arm behind her back and tell her I think I have the hash…. ~Love Er

  53. Meg

    I came across this Marianne Williamson poem again today and it reminds me of you.
    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

  54. jody

    Dude(for jessie), my SIL is going through some of the same health issues…living in California, the land of the blond, fit chick. It is really tough on her as well.
    I am excited for you about the positives you have experienced so far…..the wanting to have sex would rate up there with pretty damn golden to me, so GO! Thyroid! Meds!

  55. Lauri

    That seems like a low starting dose to me… but they are probably starting you out low for a purpose ( I hope).. I am on .88 mcg synthroid & still feel like ass despite my bloodwork looking fine…. I want to push for an increase
    congrats on the getting your groove back… I know what a big deal that is.. Really…

  56. Erin

    I have hashimoto’s as well and I just wanted to delurk to say good for you. I recently had to go into yet another unspeakably larger size and I think you’re brave and strong and I wish you luck. FTR the lack of fish lips makes you look younger!

  57. Nicky

    Behind the chemical scenes so to speak things will be changing but like all medicine we expect to see miraculous changes – the “drivethru” concept – 30 years ago you may have just been grateful that science had identified that there was a problem, it had a name, and that it was treatable. Sometimes we have to be the ‘parent’ to ourselves and say in a loving and caring but firm way “Have patience, I have come this far…”. And about those shorts/dress and anything else that you wore as a teenager or prenatal woman, just throw them away, and then look at your adorable children @ remind yourself that the pants belonged to another chapter in your life, single woman no children – now if someone said to you would you like to wear those pants but only if you gave up your children – your response would be “buggar the pants, I love my children and I love (most of the time) being a mother”. The pants are like the dolls or toys you played with in another chapter, its time to put them away and focus on one of the most important roles you will ever play in your life – and the most rewarding chapters in your life. Living in your “one set of clothing” is no doubt boring, I recall being pregnant (before pregnant women were roaming around in shirts that stopped above their baby bump and trousers that started under their bump exposing their bellies) in tent dresses – there were 4 of them and I went to work wearing the same every day for 5 days, the one I wore monday was washed and I wore that on Friday. There is going to come a time when you really could not give a flying fig what you wear the vast majority of the time. You will come to a chapter in your life when you are just grateful that you have a companion to share your life with, children that make the world seem like heaven on earth (most of the time), and when they move on to their lives on their own then you can sit back and stare at the wardrobe. I have to congradulate you though, your wardrobe is lovely and orderly, and quite frankly, I like the outfit – stripes and all. Beauty is not skin deep – consider those that would be envious of your beauty – burn victims would love to deal with just “dry skin”. The tiredness is a bugger, I lived with a medical condition that didnt have visible symptoms, but on the inside I felt I had run a marathon every day – when a walk to the kitchen knocked the stuffing out of me, lethargy invites depression, depression invites lethargy, combined these insidious symptoms have people chasing their tails in their head, overanalysing etc. Get a good movie out – Madagasgar or Shrek, gets some popcorn and cushions and sit down with your children and see the world thru their eyes and you will feel uplifted with their energy and love. Or, go to bed with a good book – but Im guessing your children are a bit young for you to do that – so go to bed with them with a good book and enjoy the moment. Even if you fall asleep beside them, which there will not be many opportunities to do in 15 years time or less.

  58. cardiogirl

    Good luck getting the meds right. I am on 150 mcg daily and 225 on Sundays. I was taken 300 mcg on Sunday and I was ready to kill everyone on my wake.
    Thyroid medicine is so much more of an art than science. People who don’t have to take it don’t understand how it will mess with your body if it’s not right.
    I wish you luck and one last time, I think Ope did the world a DISSERVICE by saying she fixed it all with a one month vacay in Hawaii. I already wrote about this on my site, no need to rehash.
    But Oprah, use your power for good, not evil.

  59. kel

    I want to join the hash club!!!! hehehe, I also Iam struggling with my thyriod. It sucks big time. 5 years and my levels are still screwed up. Hang in there it does get better, if not remember HASH!!!

  60. Daisy

    Is it sad that I have a striped shirt like that in pink — and I (gulp) like it? I wear it in the summer with my denim capris. So I’m totally not fashionable. I’m all about comfort.

  61. royalgrey

    I’m hypothyroid and depressive, and I didn’t feel well until my doc added some Cytomel (t3) at my request. Now doing much better, though I had to reduce the Cytomel a little because of hyper symptoms. Start here for info, I found out about this solution by following links from here: http://thyroid.about.com/cs/hypothyroidism/a/undertreated.htm (hope it’s Ok to post a URL, I am not associated with about.com).

  62. Joyce

    So just a thought, but I took levoxyl for 2 years after the alopecia kicked in and never really felt any better, although my TSH levels dropped. Then we started infertility treatments, my doctor sent me to a fancy endocrinologist to make sure the Hashimotos didn’t screw things up. The FE switched me to synthroid, which irritated me at the time because I had just filled a three-month levoxyl prescription. “Yeah, I know,” he told me, “I don’t have any idea why it should be the case, because they’re supposed to be identical, but about 80% of my patients feel better on synthroid, 20% like levoxyl, and there’s one woman who takes both.” On the third day, I felt great- it had been about fifteen years since my unmedicated TSH had been below 8 and I had forgotten how that felt. Good luck in your quest for wellness.

  63. Leticia

    Holy shit. I have those SAME EXACT shorts and I’m holding on to them for the SAME EXACT REASON.

  64. DJ

    I feel your pain. put on 35 pds despite being on synthroid.
    had the hair loss, dry skin, acne… went on 4, 800mcg of folic acid, and 2-3 b6 & b12 supplements (from trader joes- melts under your tongue), and selenium supplements. hair no longer falling out and dry, weight is here, but skin is 30% better.
    best of luck to you, and everyone dealing w/ hypothyroidism… it just sucks!!!!

  65. TessrTorn

    Apple Inc.’s new data synching service got off to a rocky start Thursday, as some users were denied access to their accounts just hours before the next-generation iPhone is slated to go on sale.

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