LOL@ My Contest Skills.

moxie.jpg Remember when I told you that my blog was featured in a book? And that I was also the technical editor of that book?
Well…
I have an extra copy of the book and I’d like to give it away. If you’re looking to start a blog, or if you have a blog, but would like to learn how to do more with it, you really do want to have this book. (Hell, I learned things I’ve been trying to learn for years. It is awesome. I promise you.)
I have tried to come up with some kind of WILD AND KAH-RAAAAAZY contest, but here’s the thing: I suck and am the least creative person you will ever meet, SO! If you’d like to win a copy of the book all you have to do is leave a comment.
But! There’s a twist!
The comment has to be a random fact about YOU.
I’m not sure how I’ll pick the winner just yet, because I suck, but I’ll probably base it on the comment that makes me laugh the hardest, or cry the most tears, or quite possibly the one that makes me want to be a better person.
Bonus: I’ll throw in an autographed can of bean dip! (Signed on the lid! With a Sharpie!)
Comments are now closed. Winner will be announced soon!

190 thoughts on “LOL@ My Contest Skills.

  1. Michelle

    Hi Y! Am I the first to comment? I have read your blog for months and months but have never gotten around to commenting. As far as random facts…I am the 32 year old mother of two children Jaxson (4) and Reagyn (2). I work fulltime as an attorney. I have a little BLOG of my own but I don’t have the guts you do to make it public. I fear the crazy clients! Like you fear crazy Judy! She probably misses you now that you have your own digs! I absolutely love your writing and your stories and look forward to reading each new post. You have an amazing sense of humor. You also have an emotional side I can totally relate to. The book looks great, but the bean dip sounds even better!!! Hope all is well with you and your family! Have a good weekend!

  2. Holly

    So, umm okay. I am Holly mom of 8 awesome kids ages 16 to 1. My baby was born disabled, and I always think about blogging, just to preserve the memories of all she has overcome so far, as well as the memories of the other kids…but I have yet to do any of that. So, this could help. I keep regretting not journalling and such, but I take tons of pictures…which is more than my mom did. Anyway, love your blog…been here forever. Rarely comment.

  3. daysgoby

    Congratulations on your new house and getting credit in the book! 2007 has been a banner year for you!
    Random Facts:
    I have two kids. I was positive the first was a girl, and he wasn’t. And I was positive something bad would happen to the second, and it almost did. But, thank God, it all turned out okay.
    I like corn chips and Granny Smith apples, sliced. Together.
    My husband is possibly the most wonderful and definitely the most exasperating person I’ve ever met. I met him online.
    I live in a teeny teeny teeny village in the wilds of Nova Scotia. He is Canadian. I am not.
    I’ve always wanted to be feisty. I’m working on that now.

  4. Corinne

    Screw the book – I just want the autographed bean dip!
    Since August, I have blogged, used Second Life, IM’d, created a wiki, podcasted, Flickred, and visited MySpace and Facebook – all for credit towards my Masters degree.

  5. Cary

    random fact: I have a fat right thumb. As a child, I had a hard time learning to make sure my hand was completely inside the car when shutting the door. How hard? Well, it took like 4-5 incidents before I caught on. Almost all the time, it was my right hand, hence the fatter thumb. When my son shut the truck door on his right index finger, I extended my most heartfelt apology…..for cursing him with my DNA.

  6. heather

    Random…
    I got married twice on my wedding day because the marriage license was for the wrong city! We had our ceremony at the event hall, then got in the car with our officiant, drove a couple of blocks over the city line, and were married on a street corner next to a bustop with a city cop as our witness.

  7. Lisa

    Random facts? Oh, I can give you random facts! ESPECIALLY sisnsce I never win anything at all, so I’m guaranteeing that someone else will walk away with the prize. I’m nice like that. Increasing everyone else’s odds!
    OK, so…back to random facts:
    ~ I was an extra in Tex when I was a little kid. However, “my scene” ended up on the cutting room floor and I’ve always thought it was because I got up in the middle and walked away to my mom to get my sweater. I got paid $25!
    ~ When I was in 5th grade, I was an “extra” in several Operas in my city…non singing roles.
    ~ I almost died on our honeymoon, when we were white water rafting and I popped out of the raft in a class 4 or 5 rapid right after we crossed under the Royal Gorge Bridge in Colorado.
    ~ I think that the best sandwich in the world is bacon, tomato, mayonnaise, and peanut butter.

  8. Kristen

    I love this blog and have a new one of my own because of it. Random fact about me: I have three sons!!! I am also doing NaBloPoMO and NaNoWriMo this month. And I work outside the home and I sell tupperware on the side. I just learned how to do html and started a website for my homemade cad business so if you are bored, you can go to dragonflysentiments.com. That all written out makes ME want to be a better person.

  9. Valette

    Last weeken I sat through an hour and a half of the musical Hair thinking it was supposed to be the theatre version of the movie Hairspray. Being very disappointed in the lack of multi-racial dancing, I shared my complaints with my boyfriend at intermission who was all, What The Hell Are You Smoking? It took him many minutes to convince me they were two totally different stories.

  10. Angella

    Random fact about ME?
    I never enter contests unless they are a random draw, for fear of losing.
    If it’s something that is based on a vote, I don’t even try :)

  11. Amy

    Random fact about me? I have eyelashes that grow in the inside corner of my eye. It’s freaky and slightly alienish. I also died a little when I learned that I am now a 34D rather than 34C. Holy hell, the fuckers are in the way…alot. I wrote about it in my myspace blog. http://www.myspace.com/amyrstevens dot com I was so upset about it.

  12. Lulu

    Long time reader, first time commenter (well, my comments are far and few between.) Random facts:
    – I have NO CHILDREN and find you freakin’ hilarious and relatable. That’s right, my uterus is a virgin. Um. Yah.
    – Anyway, I am also not married but am a renter (that’s right, a RENTER.) I live in the SF Bay Area and also work in non-profit so that may mean I will forever be a renter.
    – I have two puppies that are hopefully training me to become a good mommy. And yes, I know that you canNOT lock up a baby with babygates in the kitchen, throw down two peepads, a bowl of water and go out partying.

  13. Lulu

    Oh yes, I forgot to add that I am commenting because I want the book. But that signed beandip can is pretty suh-weeeeeet.

  14. Karly

    Want the book, want the book! Pick me!
    My random fact (and its embarassing so I can’t believe I’m telling you): A few months ago (5, 6 months?) I started commenting on your blog and you replied to one telling me how funny my comments always were and you loved to get them. And I was so excited and I loved you and I wanted to marry you and then I promptly stopped commenting because THE PRESSURE! I love your blog and I nearly died from withdrawal while you were living with your parents and I’m so happy your back but I still rarely comment, because I have performance anxiety. So there.
    Oh, and if you tell me that you hate funny comments and the boring ones make you happiest then I may be able to comment again sometime in the future.

  15. schoolofmom

    The only time I ever went downhill skiing was when I was in 8th grade and went on an honors science trip to Keystone Science School for spring break where I learned how to track a raccoon and predict an avalanche but not how to capture the man of my dreams, which would have been far more useful considering I lived in SOUTH TEXAS. So my science teacher Mr. Coe was all, “hey, I’ll help you (make a huge ass of yourself)” and made me get on the ski lift with that 14 year old dreamboat (Brian Otis, dude you were a hottie). Except I stepped on his ski and popped it off from sheer nerves and he had to take the next lift in line. About halfway up I felt an ominous wiggling on my foot and glanced down just in time. To watch my ski fall off. AND HIT ANOTHER SKIER ON THE HEAD. I stared at the guy as he pinwheeled his arms and went down flat on his back. God really failed me then because the sound of Brian laughing like a hyena behind me confirmed that I had not, in fact, dropped dead of embarrassment.

  16. Nancy R

    I have a deceptively large head; I can’t wear my husband’s fitted ball caps, and if I borrow an adjustible one I have to make it larger. NO ONE ever believes me, which is kind of them but really… like I don’t know my own head.

  17. Jennifer

    This is awesome! Pick me! Pick me!! okay, random fact… umm I meet Dick Van Dyke when I was 2. He was in my hometown filming a movie. I was scared to death of him and wouldn’t let him hold me!!! How’s that?

  18. codenamewench

    I’m a struggling writer/blogger and when I’m not terrorizing my cat (or my boyfriend, for that matter), I enjoy eating large blocks of cheese and then asking him to identify the cheese while I burp in his face.
    I’m just trying to keep it classy… but I have yet to obtain a monocle or a top hat.

  19. Lorraine

    Ok..my random fact and claim to fame. When my son was 8 months old, I ripped him from my breast for an afternoon so that I could appear on Win Ben Stein’s Money. I went on the show, beat all the contestants and went on to tie Ben Stein in the final round to win a whopping $1750 bucks. I would have beat him had I (a Social Studies teacher before my son was born) remembered that it was Peter the Great who was over 7 feet tall, not Ivan the Terrible. Bah. AND, I had to pump in the bathroom before I went on so I wouldn’t leak all over my stylin’ blouse. Hee!

  20. Heidi

    Dude. I’m at home taking care of a four year old with diarrea and trying to finish a work project that is past due yet I found the time to visit my beloved Y. The book could be the silver lining to my day. You can keep the bean dip (seen too much poop today). Would love you to autograph the book :)

  21. Gabby

    Y
    Random fact:
    I love your blog because I grew up in a church too. went through the same things you did, and here I am trying to forget something horrible that a man from church did to me. No one knows, well now you do.
    As much as I try to put it in the past it is still there.
    Love
    Gabby

  22. SJ

    I read you daily, and have commented before, but hey a contest is a contest and I think I really want to get my hands on that book…..and quite possibly an autographed container of bean dip.
    HELLLLLS YEA!
    So let’s see, a random fact about me.
    I saw ‘the light’ in 1999 when I went into anaphylactic shock and was seconds away from death when the medics came to my aid. To this day I have no idea what caused it. Just a tad bit scary……

  23. teebopop

    First, I want to tell you that you can go to randomizer.com and use it to select your winner (you just type in each person’s name and have the randomizer program pick the winner for you).
    Random fact about me that I don’t talk about because I’m afraid that someone will have me committed:
    Each Spring season I look for the first spider in my house with guts enough to show itself. Then I squash it like the bug that it is. Dead. Splattered on the surface it once roamed freely.
    And I leave it there. Until the first frost of Fall. At which time I scrap it off the wall and toss it away.
    Why? Well, it’s simple really. If I do this, kill it and leave it, it’s a testament to all it’s brothers, sisters, cousins, and casual acquaintances that if you dare tread in MY home ~ you’re going to die.
    Does it work? Some don’t believe me until they try it themselves. Then they agree. It works.
    But don’t tell anyone. Shhhhhh…

  24. girlplease

    Oh oh, me me!
    Um…let’s see…
    I interviewed for a web job in CA 9 years ago for this healthcare website. It sounded awesome until they told me exactly what the website was…
    John Tesh’s healthcare website.
    John “friggen Entertainment Tonight, Connie Seleca, cheese-o-matic” Tesh
    It was that or I once drank dirty pool water that sat all winter. I thought it was the regular hose water. My dad was draining the pool, I saw a hose with water coming out of it, didn’t put two and two together. Ran in the house and mixed mustard and water (because in school someone told me that would instantly make you puke) and it did. I didn’t want to get worms.

  25. Mrs.A

    I’m pretty sure I can’t come up with anything awesomely random to say.
    But why not try, right? (A contest is a contest).
    44-year-old-mom-of-five-who-hasn’t-worked-outside-the-home-in-21-years-but-who-DOES-have-an-undergrad-degree-in-creative-writing-and-wants-to-write-insightful-and-meaningful-things-but-between-caring-for-a-5-year-old(at a time when my peers are having grandchildren)-and-trying-to-cope-with-raising-3-other-hellion-boys-not-to-mention-the-husband-as-well-as-all-the-other-usual-female-middle-age-stuff-like-being-fat-and-not-knowing-what-I-want-to-be-when-I-finally-grow-up-I-am-now-just-finding-the-time-to-start-a-blog-when-the-rest-of-the-free-world-has-been-blogging-forever-so-I-could-really-use-any-tips/pointers/help-I-could-get-in-the-form-of-this-free-book-you-are-giving-away.
    All right, that’s enough of that. In all seriousness, I don’t think I’ve ever posted here before but I have wanted to so many times, especially when I was wetting my pants at your description of being stalked from the lady from hell or yesterdday’s posts about your religious upbringing (some of the crap you mention I am experiencing NOW, so holy God can I relate). Your blog rocks, even if I’m not chosen I felt I should delurk and let you know that I love reading everything you write & I can relate to so much of it.
    (Too freaking long, right)?

  26. lex

    I make an awesomely yummy bean dip and I have some in my fridge right now. Come on over for some cheesy decadent dip made with cream cheese, sour cream, cheddar cheeze… because it’s all about the cheeze. You are so right.

  27. jessica

    Random fact: I spent six months of my childhood wading a quarter of mile in knee-high wading boots to get from our house (which was sitting in the water, and, in turn, had water sitting in part of it) to the car that was parked on the nearest dry land.

  28. Terrie

    My Random Fact: I have been on a “diet” for the past 10 months but instead of losing weight, I have managed to gain 30 pounds while on it. How’s THAT for talent?

  29. Elena

    This year, I was the drunk mom at the neighborhood fall festival. Should NOT have had drinks with coworkers after work, which led to delusions that I COULD take the kids to FF in what I wore to work, to wit: tight dark rinse jeans widecuffed right below the knee, black leather kneehigh platform boots with four 1/2 inch stiletto heels, and a tight black tshirt featuring the Grumpy Care Bear draped across an autumn tree proclaiming in shiny orange letters directly across my chest I DON’T DO COSTUMES.
    I accessorized with my tiara, and a strong sense of personal dignity.

  30. Jamie

    Um let’s see. I’m Jamie. I’m 23. I just set up my blog on wordpress like 2 1/2 weeks ago. I bought webspace today and I really don’t know what the hell I’m doing with it so that kind of sucks. Seriously, I’m lost.
    Oh, and I like peanut butter sandwiches. BUT! it has to be on 2 slices of bread and don’t even think of putting them together or adding jelly because then I will die.

  31. Kathy from NJ

    I do not have a blog but would love to have one. I take care of my fully disabled husband (third stroke 9/24/01) who cannot speak or understand when people speak to him. When I want something I discuss it with him and if he agrees with me I ask him to blink ….. within the next 5 minutes .
    A random story:
    I have had a very upsetting week which has caused my very normal digestive system to block up. Yesterday I drank prune juice the way the Bowery Bums drink booze. This morning I was brushing my teeth when the urge to purge struck. In hurrying the brushing, I choked and coughed really hard which blew a giant turd right out of me and onto the floor.

  32. Marisa

    I really think that Heather should win this, since her wedding story is TOO funny.
    But, my name is Marisa. I’m about to turn 26 in like 3 weeks. I have been married for almost 3 years, and have a daughter, Kyleigh, who just turned 1 three weeks ago. I spend WAY too much time online reading blogs and would like to write one but don’t know what I would say, I’m not nearly as entertaining as you are. I’m a stay at home mom, who before being a mom was a nanny and worked in daycares. My husband works from home as a unix admin so we both rarely leave the house aside from going to get food.
    I started talking to people on the internet when I was about 12, have met tons of people including my husband.
    I’m extremely boring. I love Harry Potter, and cried during a lot of the last book. Possibly because it was the last book.

  33. Kira

    I blog, but I suck at it. Clearly, I need this book.
    Random fact: if I win, I will be so thrilled and I will intend to save the bean dip forever as a memento of this wonderful point-of-contact with the fabulous Y, but I will instead eat it all one night when my husband is out late, because bean dip rocks and I have no self control, especially when I’m bored.
    Random fact the second: It seems I have a deep affinity for run-on sentences. Also, I cannot Do The Math. Was that three randoms? Toldja.

  34. chanelireli

    Pick Me! Pick Me! I’m a long time reader, first time poster too! And I secretly would probably stalk you (in a totally not freaky but rather pathetic way) and make you be my friend if I lived in So Cal. But alas, I live in NoCal.
    Random Fact: I have five kids, two of who are 6-month-twins (I should get the book for lack of sleep). My random OCD (only presents itself in really un-useful ways) had me separate all the halloween candy into different categories. Then I wouldn’t divulge to the children how I separted them in case the kids wanted the “good” candy.

  35. Lori

    My weirdness. Let me show you it.
    I pull out my hair, roll it into little hairballs and save it. Sometimes.
    I have three nipples. Triple nipples. ‘Cept one is tiny.
    I used to have a crush on Speed Racer. (I deserve the book on the pathetic-ness of that statement alone)

  36. Susan

    I am another uterus virgin…no kids but i like reading your blog:)
    random fact…i needed 3 stitches in my head after i wacked it on a stalactite while caving. good times.

  37. Loralee

    Hmmm. A weird fact about me. There are so many…
    I was kicked off the premises for being a prostitute at a nightclub on Vancouver Island while on a concert tour.
    I was pregnant, wearing maternity jeans and a cardigan sweater and had been walking outside back and forth because smoke + pregnant person=Not good.
    My very flamboyantly gay coworker pulled up in a cab (Wearing freaking GLITTER makeup) and I approached him to say hello. The bouncer came out and evicted me from the premises for setting up a “Date” and refused to listen to reason or let me inside to call a cab or see if anyone in our group had a phone.
    I had to walk 3 miles on swollen ankles until we hailed a cab down.
    Boggles my mind to this day.

  38. sassy

    I refer to Drew Lachey as “my brother-in-law” so often my co-workers have started to say it as well.
    Yep. That’s all I got.

  39. Marilyn

    Hmm…random eh?
    I went to an all girl’s catholic high school and had to wear a uniform skirt every day. And I LIKED IT. See if that doesn’t curl your already curling hair!
    Oh, and congrats on the book! Sounds awesome!

  40. Mrs. Chicky

    I had to ask my husband about this one and the first thing he said was “You can’t eat and drink at the same time. You can drink like a fish but as soon as the food hits the table – that’s it. No more drinking until the food is done.” It’s true, but I’m not sure how I feel about the drink like a fish comment.

  41. Mrs. Chicky

    I had to ask my husband about this one and the first thing he said was “You can’t eat and drink at the same time. You can drink like a fish but as soon as the food hits the table – that’s it. No more drinking until the food is done.” It’s true, but I’m not sure how I feel about the drink like a fish comment. Eh, I just think I’ll embrace it and move on.

  42. Helen

    Kathy from NJ is my choice for winner so far because ginat turds flying out of ones bottom always deserve bean dip. Same sort of thing happened to me after I had my 2nd son, was so scared of having to poo, went to the bathroom, bent over to pick up ..can’t rememebr what I dropped…sneezed and pooped all over the floor, was SO happy it didn’t hurt I almost wanted to go and tell the whole post partum ward about how easy having a poo was if you can manage to sneeze whilst bending over. Is that random enough ? Also have never had bean dip, am coming to Ca in 4 weeks and 4 days…..if I pretend that I am coming all the way from England just to try bean dip, can I win? Can I ?

  43. Susan

    After reading only a couple of comments, my random fact feels inadequate. Nevertheless, I will persevere. Fact: I share the same birth date as Chelsea Clinton. No kidding. You said random, not interesting, didn’t you?

  44. trish

    Oh, I forgot a random fact about me: I warn people on AIM. Wait, you knew that already.
    I was so naive and stupid when I was younger that I dated a guy in college who was uncircumcised and I never knew what that was or even noticed it until we stopped “dating” and his new girlfriend mentioned it in a drunken rage at a frat party in college.
    Maybe I should delete that.

  45. Megan

    Speaking of Sharpies . . . I was so obsessed with them in college that a friend of mine got me a set of 36 Sharpies for Christmas and I almost cried because they were so perfect.

  46. SharonO

    A random fact … here goes …
    I met my SO online. He lives 150 or so miles away and for 3.5 years, he has been driving down to visit me and my kids. When we are together, I almost forget my abusive x and how I was so desperate to get out of my marriage that I seriously considered suicide. He has shown me that I am worth so much more than I ever thought I was and that I am loveable and beautiful, extra pounds, damaged psyche and all.
    Now for my random fact. I want to marry him. For all my militant single mom independence, I want to be his wife. I want to grow old with him, ’til death do us part and all that. I never thought I would want to be married again but he has made me believe in forever.
    Ok, enough mush. Love your blog, Y, always have, always will.

  47. Mary Boston

    You may not recognize me…I”m known on the streets as the “sippy cup slingin’ mamma”. I need your book because I”m afraid I’ve scared off all of my readers. Why? After 4 months of blogging about being sent to jail for throwing a sippy cup at my husband, (It’s true!) I need a way to woo my beloved readers back to me. It’s ok ladies, I promise I’ve retired the sippy cup.

  48. Lisa

    Random facts:
    I am obsessed with Harry Connick Jr. and have seen him live 36 times. However I have friends who have seen him more.
    When I was 12 I went sleigh riding with my friends on a hill near my home. Only thing was it was July. There was no snow. Only twigs, leaves and apparently something rather sharp as I slid off the sled and cut my jeans and my ass cheek. I needed 12 stitches. On my ass cheek. I sport a lovely scar now.

  49. Becki

    New Jersey girl tops it all. I haven’t laughed that hard for awhile.
    Random fact about me, hhmmm.
    I won’t swim in the ocean because I’m absolutely terrified that a shark will come eat me. I’m plump and I just know he would see me and totally go for it. I even get scared in the deep end of the pool, I actually start hyperventilating because I know for sure that a huge f’n shark will break through the concrete and eat my shit up!!!

  50. amanda

    ALL props to the chic from NJ for being that honest.
    All I’ve got is that I grew up in a fundamentalist church – so fundamentalist that when I went to a church LIKE YOURS it was a move to the LEFT.
    Yes.
    I don’t go anywhere anymore.
    Also, ten days ago my boyfriend disappeared form the planet.

  51. Michelle

    I’m 35 years old and still don’t know my right from my left. I have to hold my hands up and look for the one that makes the L. My husband teases me mercilessly about this but has learned to point rather than telling me right or left. It is quite sad and heartbreaking.

  52. kate

    love your blog! have one of my own, but am infrequently posting. would love to have the book, so random fact: since i was a child, whenever i do something difficult, my tounge sticks out of the right side of my mouth(its weird, but it kind of cracks me up)…

  53. Meg

    No kids, so no horrible medical stories… I did get food poisoning in Mongolia, but that was more from my misguided idea that I could eat whatever I saw other people eating…

  54. Tammy

    I know the books will be great, but I REALLY want some bean dip, too. That clinches the deal.
    Random Facts:
    1. I was adopted at age 2, and at age 22 I met my birth mom, and now we are very close friends.
    2. I teach sex ed. Proudly. Yet I was raised and educated in a very strict church school, where sex ed was called “Science” and the ed part was “Don’t do it or Jesus will be sad.”
    3. Next week my household will grow from 2 adults and 2 children, to 3 adults and 7 children. All children are under the age of 6. Send help.

  55. Margie

    Hi Y! I would love to be entered. I just wrote about this random fact on my blog. And this is a TRUE random fact! It’s actually the random fact that I always use at the teacher’s meetings when we have icebreakers.
    Please feel free to delete it if it’s too long and takes up too much space, I will understand! Love you!
    I was torn between telling you to go read my blog and posting a too long comment here but I think you would probably rather I posted it here. So here ya go!
    ~I think I am the one who started David Copperfield down the slipperly slope of wanting women to provide some of thier own “magic” for him.
    It all began 24 years ago. I don’t know how or why I knew about this young, up and coming magician named David Copperfield but I did. And he was traveling to all of these small cities and playing in all of these small theaters. We were living in Reading, Pa. at the time and he was coming to the Rajah – a small theater in our beloved city.
    So I begged Sparky to get us tickets. He came through and arranged for baby Sweet Pea to stay with his parents. I prepared for weeks, planning out my outfit. But more importantly, I spent weeks agonizing over what I could say to him so he would remember me forever and ever as that witty brunette who spoke words of honey and caused him to fall head over heels in love with a small town girl from Chester, Pa.
    The night of the show came and we dropped Baby Sweet Pea off at the parents house. My own father-in-law teased me, asking me if I had something in mind yet to WOW David with. I told him I did not but that I was sure once I met him I would be able to come up with THE perfect words.
    I wore a grey silk blouse and black pants, my black patent leather pumps and white pearls. WE will NOT discuss my poodle hair that I was sporting from a bad post-partum perm. We will also not discuss the aviator glasses that covered my cheeks all the way to my upper lip. But… I looked presentable.
    We arrived at the theater and took our seats. This young, skinny, tall, dark haired boy bounced onto the stage as I was sitting next to my young, skinny, tall, dark haired husband. I sat mesmerized. I think he performed magic tricks – I am not really sure. I couldn’t stop looking at his gorgeous hair and butt. I did notice that he chose beautiful, young blondes from the audience for all of his assistants but that’s only because I was not in the front row or he surely would have picked me in all of my poodle hair gloriousness.
    When the show ended, anyone who bought a program was able to get it autographed by Mr. David Copperfield himself! This was my chance. Here is where I would shine!
    I nervously approached Mr. Copperfield, program in hand and these words of wonder poured forth from my mouth,
    “Good show, David.”
    He grinned.
    Good show, David?
    What? WHAT? Was I practicing for the day when I would be a teacher and say 50 million times a day, “God job, Johnny!” Was THAT all I could muster in the one chance I had to meet the man of my dreams? (Other than Sparky, of course)
    Realizing I had blown my chance to be remembered, to be immortalized as “that cute brunette with the pearls and poodle hair” I knew I had to make a move.
    As he handed back my program, I took a deep breath and muttered,
    “May I have a kiss?”
    You should have seen the look on his face. He just stood there looking at me. Dead silence. Our eyes locked. And then he broke out in the little grin and said, “A kiss?” “Sure!”
    And in that moment, when he leaned in to my poodle head, I believe I created a monster.
    He kissed my cheek.
    I am not sure if he previously realized the sway, the power, the pull he had over young women, causing them to drool and buy programs that cost $30.00 a piece just for the chance to be in the same square footage as Mr. David Cooperfield.
    I never forgot that kiss. And I am pretty sure he didn’t either. I am sure he talked about it for years and wanted to contact me but since we didn’t have cell phones or the internet back then he had no way to get a hold of me.
    I imagine he started to long for that kind of admiration and began wooing other young ladies. I believe he chose blondes instead of brunettes so as not to ache inside at the remembrance of me when he was with them.
    And Claudia Schiffer? Remember that tall, blonde model? She had an over-bite. Just. like. me. Coincidence? You decide.
    Poor, David. I am so sorry that I started this whole sordid mess that you are in.
    By the way, to this day my father-in-law teases me about my choice of words, “Good show, David.”
    I’ll be he isn’t laughing now!

  56. Heather

    I don’t fold my socks. I wash them and put them in huge laundry basket of nothingness and buy new socks. Folding takes too much effort and my husband is lazy. Socks are cheap. Doesn’t sound funny in type, but boy, you got to belive me, when I tell people in person they try to turn me to your nearest community mental healthy agency. Who knew that people get so worked up over socks?

  57. barnmouse

    Random possibly demonic fact comin’ right up!
    I can vibrate my eyeballs.
    That’s exactly what it sounds like (except when I say it in my Southern drawl because then people not from here think I’m saying “I can vibrate my ass”, which, yeah, probably that too!). They vibrate like when you’re really cold and your bottom jaw does that…well…”vibrate-y” thing. I have no idea how I do it. And many old people who have seen it (and a few young ones) take a giant step back and I can hear them thinking “WITCH!” in their heads.
    And really…what’s more random than that? 😉

  58. Tug

    So you finally drew my out of lurking ’cause my blog needs help…LOL.
    Um…my tattoos are my grandkid’s footprints, names & dates of birth. I told my daughter she can’t have more kids or I’ll walk crooked with odd numbered footprints – LOL. May need a V-8 to walk straight!
    Thanks, truly love your blog!!

  59. Melissa

    random fact: I have an irrational fear of dead animals coming back to life and attacking my face. It does not help that I have a beagle who likes to hunt and we live by a nature preserve. Dead rodents + me being the one to find them in the house = grabbing the pooper scooper (because there is no way I’m picking it up with my hands!) and screaming while running to the trash can and hoping the rat doesn’t squeak, jump up and bite my face.

  60. Elizabeth

    This is my first comment ever. Just had to say I love your blog and wish wish wish I could be as out there as you. I have a blog, about my baby girl, but it’s all just photos and one-liners. I want to write so much more, and I do, then save it on my computer. And that’s it. B/c what if my family read that? AHH! I also have life long issues with weight and body image. But I have never said anything about it to anyone. So that is my long winded way of saying YOU ROCK!
    Random Fact : I can see sounds.

  61. jenn

    Hi Y! Ive been reading your blog for a long while now…and never comment but couldnt pass up a contest!
    Random thing about me. Long story short. I wanted children, miscarried a few times decided to become a foster parent to adopt. Ended up with a set of twin girls (6 weeks old) had been so abused that when I signed papers to take them into my home E had a 20% chance of survival and S wasnt much better. Through the brain surgeries, rehab, doctor after doctor and love we are surviving. E is struggling but we have so much hope for her. I would love the book so I can learn about blogging better…I had/have a blog page but it seems so dweeby and I need serious help so I can share our story with everyone.

  62. Sarcastic Mom

    How wrong is it that I just though, “Oh, please God, I really want that book, but even more, I HAVE TO HAVE THAT SIGNED BEAN DIP. I promise I will stop locking Braden in the closet and banging my head into the wall until the crying stops if I and JUST.WIN.THIS.” ?
    I think I might go to hell for that one.
    But if I have the bean dip, I’ll be okay.

  63. Kristy

    Random Fact:
    I (heart) infommercials! Ron Popeil rawks my socks off! I once watched the online ad for the Accubrush 3 times in one day. (I later bookmarked the website.) Yet, I never buy anything that I see on tv.
    OH … and … I was once addicted to Yahtzee. Up all night shaking them damn dice for several months until I finally had to throw the game away.

  64. Kyla

    I married at 17…AND I wasn’t knocked up. 😉
    I can juggle.
    I was injured every odd year of my life between 5 and 17.

  65. lani

    Ummm… I can’t think of anything spectacular, but just want to throw my name into the bid for said book… just in case you decide to be generous and draw out of a hat, because seriously… some of these answers are pure gold and I can’t top that.

    Random Fact:

    When I was a lowly high school freshman, my English teacher caught me “reading palms/fortune telling” and asked me to come read the palms of students in her senior English class. I was totally winging it… making things up as I went, so it was somewhat amusing from my perspective. My guest appearance got me out of another class, so it worked out well for me. Oh… and I had a grand total of 14 students in my graduating class (7 girls and 7 boys).

  66. takin chances

    I don’t know how to appropriately use a knife and fork together and I can’t tell time on an analog clock without serious concentration and I’m 28 and half (yes, I said half!) years old.
    And after thinking it couldn’t happen, I finally found the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with and I couldn’t be happier.
    And really, I just want the signed bean dip too!

  67. angie

    Pick me, choose me, love me!
    Anyway…I have a stay-at-home-dad for a hubby and I literally do not have to do a thing. And I am not exaggerating. He cooks, cleans, does the laundry, bathes the kids…etc. It’s no damn wonder I’m fat and lazy. *sigh*
    And? I think penises are ugly. (though I still love the S-E-X.)
    There ya go. TWO random facts.
    PS Mmmm…bean dip.

  68. Arkie Mama

    Random fact: During my college years, when I had to make the 3 1/2 -hour drive to my parents’ house, I used to eat bean dip and Fritos along the way to help pass the time.
    (Please note: My random fact involves bean dip!!! Grounds for getting the book and freebie chip enhancer!)
    * These drives also involved puffy Cheetos and Whoppers.

  69. Michelle

    I’ve gone back and read the other comments. I don’t deserve to win but man you have some funny readers! I vote for either one of the poopers or the girl with the ski trip story. HA!

  70. Jenny H.

    Sweet Jeebus. I no longer have a shot in hell of winning this contest, but here goes nothing.
    I have been reading your blog for the last three years. You have made me cry, laugh, and sometimes just want to let go.
    Because, maybe it would be easier. I have struggled with my weight almost all my life. I have been on the cycle of losing and then gaining it all right back. Having babies. And in my case, the first of three knee surgeries.
    And then just letting go.
    I will never be perfect. I will never be able to chase my children. I will always have this problem. It will never go away. No matter how much I wish it were so. I am flawed, in this way. There is NO procedure to fix that.
    But, I am a great mama. I love my children.
    And that is more than enough for me.

  71. SomeFatChick

    Random Fact: I almost died today! Had I behaved as I do 99% of the time instead of completely spacing out, I would have! Great fun! (Yeah, am probably still freaking out about that one a bit…do the exclamation points give it away?)

  72. Lisa

    I’ve been a dedicated reader long before G Unit was even two lines on a pee stick. You’re fabulous Yvonne and this is my favorite blog. I look forward every day to see if you’ve written a new entry. (No pressure eh?)
    Random fact about me: I’d love a copy of The Moxie Girls blogging book, but I have great fear over the bean dip because I’m already gaseous as they come and with the extra legumey goodness I might blow the roof off my house . It’s horrible really. Most days I can’t stand my own stink. Sad…I know. lol

  73. pookie

    Sweet baby Jesus in a Manger! How the hell will I win this one?
    I can tell you that I need this book to learn how to gain more readers..cause I suck balls in this department. I’ve had a blog for 2 years and I have 5 readers 1 is my sister… she SO does not count.
    So, my random fact is SO the truth….
    My favorite shoes made my feet stink like moldy cheese. (No matter how many times I washed those bad boys the stench stayed). I don’t wear them…often. ewww!

  74. lala

    When I was 12, my aunt Chela felt me up at Christmas. She said it was cute that my mangoes were finally starting to come in. Every time I see her I cringe and remember her happily recounting this to the entire family. there’s a reason I hate mangoes…this has to be it.

  75. Laura

    my first day of high school, freshman year i walked into the wrong english class. Right teacher, right room, wrong time. I sat down. I proudly took out my completed summer assignment (advanced course). I head laughing. I looked around me. I WAS IN AN ALL SENIOR ENGLISH CLASS. I high tailed it outta there feeling so embarassed.
    THAT SAME DAY I was walking up the stairs to spanish. I tripped on the stairs. I fell. I blushed. I was laughed at. MY FRIEND did not even help pick up the spilled contents of my backpack. Ah yes, I am glad those years are over!

  76. Laura

    my first day of high school, freshman year i walked into the wrong english class. Right teacher, right room, wrong time. I sat down. I proudly took out my completed summer assignment (advanced course). I head laughing. I looked around me. I WAS IN AN ALL SENIOR ENGLISH CLASS. I high tailed it outta there feeling so embarassed.
    THAT SAME DAY I was walking up the stairs to spanish. I tripped on the stairs. I fell. I blushed. I was laughed at. MY FRIEND did not even help pick up the spilled contents of my backpack. Ah yes, I am glad those years are over!

  77. Katie

    Long time lurker, first time commenter.
    I see you already have 88 comments, so I have no chance of getting this book but I thought, dammit, it’s a good initiative to actually throw myself into it all and leave a comment. :)
    A random fact about me – I can stop hiccuping on command. Seriously. If I’m hiccuping, you can say “STOP IT” and I’ll just stop. All gone. It’s my party trick (yeah, it’s not a good one but still, it’s something, right?)

  78. burnurcomputer

    I just woke up and yelled at my kids….again. I am going to throw the video game stuff away because they now think that its cooler then books. It not. I’m not going to throw it away really, just unplug it and move all the gameboys to my mothers house wheere they can live in peace! Plus, I like bean dip :)

  79. Beverly

    Random fact #1: my socks never match. It’s my way to rebel without the world knowing!
    Random fact #2: my oldest son has had two brain surgeries and is doing well.
    Random fact #3: I’ve been married to the same man for over twenty years…and we’re doing well! (Despite the sounds, smells and words that come out of a 47 year old man.)
    Random fact #4: I really want this book!

  80. josey

    RANDOM FACT: i want to save the world. yep, that’s right. i dont come right out and say that, EVER, cause i’d appear quite childish and unstable. . o O (but then again, that could have some truth to it…LOL)

    *puts on girlygirl cape, hands on hips and cheesey shiny grin* =D

    side note: to completely explain how & why i wanna save the world would require me to write a book, but instead i chose to blog…insowhen you visit my blog, you might be like HUH? save the world? how in the…? what in the…? but really, deepdeepdown i guess really saving the world to me is being able to help just one other person…anyone…i’m just learning in this crazy life, like everyone else…

    *superdeepthoughtslongpause*

    …kinda like how your gesture of giving away a book and bean dip just might be the thing someone needs. right at that moment in time. (seriously, tho.) *teehee* :)

  81. sylvia

    This is totally true: I have not had bean dip in TEN YEARS! This from a Southern California girl who grew up on frito-lay. I NEED to win this, just for the bean dip. I’ll even pay-pal you the postage to Europe!

  82. michele

    So… My random fact… I look like a normal mom, but the truth is I’m an old school raver. Back when you had to stock up on your glitter during halloween, make your own pants, and the raves really were underground and you had to sneak in. They’re SPONSORED NOW??!! Anyway… I’m officially old enough to have heard one of my old underground’s dj’s songs to be on a frickin’ car commercial. So there’s your random fact.

  83. Rae

    Hmmm… random fact about me:
    I’m a spelling/grammar whore. One of my biggest pet peeves is my 50-year old VERY intelligent boss using the word “irregardless” in a sentence. IRREGARDLESS is a double negative, you git. If you are using a word improperly, spelling it improperly or using grammar improperly (I cannot STAND people who TyPe LiKe ThIs or cannot take an extra nanosecond to type our “your” or “you” instead of “ur” or “u”), I WILL call you on it and I will NOT be remorseful!

  84. Rae

    Hmmm… random fact about me:
    I’m a spelling/grammar whore. One of my biggest pet peeves is my 50-year old VERY intelligent boss using the word “irregardless” in a sentence. IRREGARDLESS is a double negative, you git. If you are using a word improperly, spelling it improperly or using grammar improperly (I cannot STAND people who TyPe LiKe ThIs or cannot take an extra nanosecond to type our “your” or “you” instead of “ur” or “u”), I WILL call you on it and I will NOT be remorseful!
    /steps off of soapbox, promptly landing on her face in grammar dust.

  85. Natalie

    Okay, here are a few random facts about me, which are also thinly veiled reasons why I’m the best choice for this book:
    When I was 23, I had just broken off my engagement, and I flew into Houston, TX to visit with my friend Sarah (Ms. Pants of maisonpants.com). We decided to take a trip up to Texas to visit the lovely Joelle.
    While I was there, I used a substance or two, got my tongue pierced, ate spaghetti-os for a couple days, and was called a “punk rock fetus” by Joelle. Joelle then suffered from an asthma attack and had to go to urgi-care, which really killed my buzz, but what mattered was that, like, her lungs didn’t collapse and she was able to breathe and was okay.
    Then I went back to Houston and flew home. A couple years later, I started graduate school, during which time I made no money. I graduated with my MA, but I am in debt, and I’m living in Oklahoma where people get paid $2.00/hour in the name of JESUS BECAUSE JESUS LOVES EVERYONE EXCEPT PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN SIN WITH THEIR BOYFRIENDS (not that I do that or anything). So the point is that while I really want my friend Joelle’s book, I’m a broke ass sinner who can’t afford to buy it.
    I hope these comments have made your day satisfying and fulfilling. Eat some bean dip for me…I can’t buy any because I haven’t done the math. :(
    (see, most of the above statements include facts about me!)

  86. marjorie

    Well, I have this problem with forks. My husband always sets the table and puts a fork on the plate with whatever meat we’re having. I take my piece of meat with the serving fork, then I forget to put it back and suddenly I have two forks and I’ve licked both of them and for a moment I have no idea how I got two forks or which one I’m not supposed to have. So I just sort of put one of them back when no one is looking and hope I don’t have Ebola. Because I love my family. I also have double jointed thumbs which means I can’t use a normal vegetable peeler because my thumbs just bend all over the place. Oh, and I could sing Happy Birthday when I was one year old.

  87. Beverly

    Random facts (there are way too many to choose from but here goes):
    I recently went to visit my brother out-of-state. I had to borrow a t-shirt from him to sleep in the night I arrived and go buy a new suitcase and new clothes the next morning. My cat had gotten in my suitcase the night before I left and PEED all over everything. Only I didn’t realize it until I was 7 hours away from home.
    Also, my biological mom died when I was 5 years old and I don’t remember anything about that period of my life. My dad would never tell us where she was buried (?) but one of my brothers and I found her grave last year.
    I have tons more random-ness, but I’ll stop with those two.

  88. Country Mouse

    Ooh, random facts!
    I love yellow squash. If you don’t like yellow squash, let me cook it for you sometime. You might like it then; it’s happened before. (But if you don’t, my feelings won’t be hurt.)
    I know how to correctly use a colon, a semicolon, and a dash.
    I’m envying your icky renter status, since my son and I are living with my parents. (Long story.)
    Of the five or six languages I speak to some degree, only two use the roman alphabet.
    I can raise one eyebrow at a time.

  89. PunditMom

    Random facts can be so much fun. Here’s one — I’ve met Henry Kissinger and Aldo Cella. If you remember who Aldo Cella is/was, you’re as old as me! 😉

  90. Which Box

    Ok, a few random facts about me. I have a two year old. Over the winter, I was pregnant and discoverd the baby had severe genetic abnomalities. The baby did not survive – after 14 weeks of nausea, blahs, and all the fun of the first trimester, it was over. My husband and I started trying again in Aug, sept, and Oct. I have’nt been ovulating. I’m 39. Then, in October, discovered my husband was having an affair. He wants out. Started my blog, and I need readers, and support, and a better blog, and the ability to post more than why is my life so unfair…..

  91. Lily

    I met the Pope once — Pope John Paul II, super cool dude whether or not I/me/you/us agree with his points of view on things; and it was in Rome, and I waited for hours, and I was pretty much hysterical when I met him, from the anxiety of waiting and the throngs of people, etc. But I met him, and he clasped my hand, and asked me in ENGLISH if I were PORTUGESE. It always threw me a) that that was my big moment, and it was ODD; and b) that if he spoke so many languages, INCLUDING Portugese — why didn’t he just ask me in that? Anyway. Random fact. Would have been better if he’d said, hey, nice hair — or, I know your parents. Wait — I’m hallucinating. The rest is true, though.

  92. lizinsumner

    Random fact about me: just this last week, I was at my place of work (I work at Boeing), and went into another building which is a factory building to get myself a free flu shot (Boeing doesn’t give out a lot of freebies!!). I was wearing my usual attire, including my reading glasses and my leather sandals. Long story short, I got kicked out of the building before I could get the shot my two trogledyte manufacturing guys (I’m an office person!) for safety violation – no open shoes and you have to wear safety glasses, lady!! NO EXCEPTIONS!!!! Then, as I was walking away, “I’M GOING TO TURN YOU IN AND TELL ON YOU!!”. Proof that even after 30 years at Boeing, I never learned the basic lessons from the gradeschool playground! Just sign me Flu-shotless in Seattle –

  93. lizinsumner

    Random fact about me: just this last week, I was at my place of work (I work at Boeing), and went into another building which is a factory building to get myself a free flu shot (Boeing doesn’t give out a lot of freebies!!). I was wearing my usual attire, including my reading glasses and my leather sandals. Long story short, I got kicked out of the building before I could get the shot by two trogledyte manufacturing guys (I’m an office person!) for safety violation – no open shoes and you have to wear safety glasses, lady!! NO EXCEPTIONS!!!! Then, as I was walking away, “I’M GOING TO TURN YOU IN AND TELL ON YOU!!”. Proof that even after 30 years at Boeing, I never learned the basic lessons from the gradeschool playground! Just sign me Flu-shotless in Seattle –

  94. Kelly

    Okay – I really just had to reply to Becki to tell her she is SOO not alone with the shark thing. I have the same problem in pools and as a kid, this issue extended to bath tubs. I was convinced “Jaws” was coming out of that drain to eat me. It hasn’t gotten much better since.
    Here’s the sad thing (and my random fact), it extends to fish now too. When I was in my early 20’s I was a day camp counselor and had an experience that pretty much solidified the fear of fish. Part of the job meant hanging out with the kids in the lake on swimming days. Well, one day I was sitting in the shallows with some of the littler ones and a damn fish bit me! In the crotch! It even took skin. Since then I’ve pretty much stayed out of fresh water too.
    Doubt that’ll net me the book, but I had to comment since it felt good to know I was not the only one with the intense fear of sharks :)

  95. lizinsumner

    Ooops – didn’t mean to post the same thing twice – sorry. Another random fact about me – total klutz!

  96. kirsten

    Um, random, ok, here goes, I have recently started asking everyone I know this question: At what age should I stop farting in front of my child because she will tell people about it? Hmmm. Do you know?

  97. Alison

    I wanna win! Fact about me: I just saw this and you know what? You need to not worry about the greys. I’ve had them for 13 years (I’m 29, so I started getting them at 16/17). I’m about half grey now, and you know what? It’s ok!
    Of course, I do dye. But I’m thinking about just letting it go just to see what it looks like. I’m kind of sick of people saying, “you’re 29? I thought you were 22 or 23!” I know it is not normal, but you know what? I’ve wanted my whole life to be “grown up” so if grey hairs are part of the deal, then so be it.

  98. witchypoo

    I have broken two (count em, two) toilets by sitting on them wrong.
    I was skinny both times, but alcohol may have been involved 😉
    I might not have electricity for a while (Hurricane Noel is punishing toilet breakers)
    Lord help us when it makes landfall here.

  99. Lena

    I’m secretly bitter because I can’t do a back bend and people who do HAVE AN UNFAIR ADVANTAGE.
    (Damn, I shouldn’t have deposited your check. Then I’d still have your autograph.)
    Love,
    Joyce

  100. Valeta

    Random facts about me:
    My sweat smells a lot like syrup because I am taking fenugreek pill to help breastmilk production.
    Sorry I couldn’t think of anything really good, I’m rather boring. 😀

  101. Liz

    Um. Quite the competition here.
    But here we go: I’ve cut off 3 of the fingers on my right hand. In separate incidents. And by “cut off” I mean severed. All have been re-attached and are (relatively) functional.

  102. BOSSY

    Random Fact about Bossy: She is a finalist for the Weblog Award for Funniest Blog! And she’s way behind in votes because a bunch of cheaters run the deal. So come over to her place and throw her a vote or a thousand. Or give her a book. Or leave her a crazy comment. xoxo.

  103. js

    I pee. A lot. I may have the smallest bladder in the world. I recently saw an ad in a magazine for toilet paper (Quilted Northern perhaps…who cares!? It’s only Charmin in my house! I love those damn bears!) that said “The only product women use five times a day.” FIVE TIMES!? I am not lying when I tell you that I pee about every 45 minutes. That’s a lot. Even if I’m not drinking. People at work laugh at me, it’s all in good fun. But, really? Every 45 minutes? Does anyone out there only pee five times a day? Damn. It’s worse too when I’m in a situation where a bathroom is not readily available. Like, an elevator or the car. As soon as I step in an elevator, I have to pee. Even if I JUST went. Car trips with me are so much fun. Or, not. If I’m driving, it’s not so bad. If I’m riding shotgun, it’s bad. Which is probably why anyone I get in a car with lets me drive. I don’t blame them. Also, if I go to a movie, I HAVE to sit on an aisle. Even if it’s nearly empty. I am convinced someone will come sit in my row and block my straight path to the bathroom. The second that happens, I have to pee.
    This is one random fact from an entry I just did the other day called “10 Things I Hate About You”. Even though they’re not about “you”. Didn’t want to alter the movie title. You know. Yeah.

  104. Heather

    Random facts about myself, lets see, there are two that came to mind when I thought about what I should write so rather than agonizing over it for hours I will just go for it.
    Fact # 1. I won a booty shaking contest in Florida on a girls weekend and it is to this day the only thing I have ever won and I do not know how the hell I convinced myself to actually walk up on that stage. But then again it was the body I would love to have now after having two children but hated at the time.
    Fact #2 I only wear turtlenecks, ever, all the time. Even in the summer. I even sleep in them, I can not wear any other sort of shirts v neck, boat neck, crew neck or tank top, they all drive me crazy. I have tried to break the “habit” but to no avail. I did not always feel this way about my necklines it started after giving birth to my daughter and I have no idea what the connection is I just wanted to share that random weirdo fact about myself.

  105. Jess

    Trying to find a random fact about me that would not get me nod in Penthouse……..
    I wear a bra all the time. The only time I do not have one on is if I am in the shower or have a bathing suit on. I have done this since I first started wearing bras too so it is not a sag thing.

  106. Becky

    First time reading your blog (hence first comment as well), found my way over here from Oh, the Joys!
    Random fact: While pregnant I asked my OB some of his most gruesome labor stories, to which he answered thus: being hit on the face with various bodily fluids. Fast forward to my own delivery, when he’s pushing on my belly to help expel the placenta and I see my own post-baby fluid squirt right out and onto the side of his face, near his glasses (missed the protective covering and went straight for his flesh). Oh, and did I mention that we know this great guy socially? He attends a church where my husband works.
    Not many know this story, for obvious reasons.

  107. Danielle

    I have many reasons why I am cool and stuff and I’m not even going to try and post why. You just gotta believe it. But really I don’t believe that I’m more worthy than many other people who have posted. I figured I’d just leave a comment on the off chance that you did some kind of random pic. :)

  108. miss eliza

    Not to play the pity card but… I was fired on Wednesday. That’s kind of the defining element of my life right now – and honestly, I’d like to start writing rather than working a desk job, and this may be the perfect opportunity – if I don’t chicken out.

  109. Rachel in Alaska

    Random fact about me:
    I am an excessive groomer when it comes to my hair. So much in fact that one of my friends took to calling me a monkey. I have no idea why, but I feel the need to brush my hair all the time. I don’t count the strokes, but the episode of The Brady Bunch comes to mind, the one where Marsha was brushing her hair 100 times each night. Plus, I shed like crazy. One of my friends (a different one) yells at me constantly for leaving my DNA (strands of hair) all over the place. I have taken to leaving them on her clothes just to annoy her.
    Now that I type all of this out, it’s more creepy than random.
    P.S. I don’t have a blog yet, but have always wanted to start one. :)

  110. Amy

    Hee I have been reading your blog for a long long time but I don’t ever think I have commented…but being the book whore that I am…you drew me out of the woodwork.
    But some random facts about me:
    –I actually have that book on my amazon wishlist and it has been there for a long time…before I knew you had anything to do with it…
    –I have no kids but one very spoiled beagle.
    –I have an unnatural fear of Eucalyptus trees…specifically being under one when it decides to break apart and being maimed by said tree…which sucks for me because the building where I work? The parking lot is lined with them…so sometimes I am forced to park under them if I get there late. Then I spend the whole day worrying about my car and if the trees are going to come apart and kill my car.
    –I am so excited that I will be a first time Aunt at the end of March (oh this kid is gonna so be spoiled!)

  111. mandy

    Random fact about me?
    I have completely lost myself since having my two youngest children. I kind of like being lost. I don’t know what I will do when I have time to myself again. I am 30 and still have no idea what I want to do with my life. No idea.

  112. E :)

    I’ve read your blog for years and love it. My random fact is that I have a bird who talks. He also does aerobic dancing to good music, and growls when he hears Britney Spears on the radio. Hates. Britney. Spears.
    My blog sucks. I really need the book! (And the bean dip. Although I don’t think you can send that to Australia, so bonus for you is that you can reneg on half your prize if I win!!!!)

  113. Jennifer

    A year ago I was hit with an extreme depression. I scoured your blog since I know you suffered from crippling, stifling depression. I also used to hit myself, with my hand, or a hanger. When I read your words, I felt connected, deeply, and you’re a stranger on the internet. You are so hard on yourself, but rest assured that your posts helped me. SO MUCH. Unlike anything else. I wasn’t alone.
    My son is my light, my yellow, my utter joy in this life. He is five. He is smart and witty and brave. He has cerebral palsy. He has full leg casts connected with a bar right now. They are blue, and he’s worn them for three weeks now, with three more to go, as a result of tendon/muscle release surgery he had. I was not scared of the surgery; in fact, we have been ready for this for some time now. It will greatly increase his chances of walking. He walks in my dreams, in my thoughts, and it’s a vision that carries me day to day. I leave no room for doubt. He is going to walk for the first time soon. When that happens, I’m not sure how I will react. I envision hitting my knees and lifting up a silent prayer of thanks.
    I like that we get extra stares as I push him around in his wheelchair at Walmart; some kids never get a second glance in public. I love when people use hushed tones, wondering what the deal is, because maybe we’re creating awareness. I love it more when a brave, sincere person will smile at us, hesitating, before asking a question. We are never bothered by this.
    I never got a “handicap sticker” for our vehicle. I don’t consider my son handicapped or disabled, and I’ve never used those terms to describe him. I’d rather park a mile away from a store entrance.
    I love food. I use it for the wrong purposes sometimes. Overindulgence. To fill a small void in me, one that can only be satiated with food, it seems. I get disgusted with myself; it’s a daily battle. I might always be a large girl. And I’m not sure if I’m okay with that.
    That’s all. :)

  114. JCK

    There is absolutely nothing random about me. Nothing. And I hate bean dip. Well, I don’t actually. See, nothing random. 1st time to your blog via Oh, The Joys. Like it. Be back.

  115. Secret Agent Mama

    All of my babies went up a pound. The first was 8lbs 14oz, second was 9lbs 14oz, third was 10lbs 4oz, and the last one was 11lbs 14oz! I had all of them via my vagina, without drugs. I’ll smoke a joint but forget about those dang epidurals!
    P.S. I’m here via “Oh, The Joys”, too!

  116. Katie

    I have lots of random things, but I’m going to play the pity card, because, well, it’s a contest and I really want the book.
    My random fact is that I’m having brain surgery on November 27th because my brain is literally too large for my skull. Wild right?

  117. M

    Random Fact 1: I teach kindergarten and when things get out of hand I have to go to the back of the room, put my head in a cubbie and swear like a pirate into it….then I feel better….I blog about it too.
    Random Fact 2: I was a technical editor for a book once too…long before I had a blog…the book was not a hit.

  118. Janet

    *Delurking*
    I like contests.
    That is not my random fact, though.
    Ahem…I have webbed toes. On both feet. It’s genetic passed on by the opposite sex parent.
    **Re-lurking***

  119. Mama DB

    Random fact about me:
    The summer after my freshman year in college, I had a hairdresser die in the middle of my haircut.
    Danielle
    P.S. your blog makes me pee a little.

  120. Emily

    Random fact: There is a spider on the wall that may or may not be dead, and because I am so thoroughly grossed out by the folded-up little legs, I refuse to touch it or get close enough to find out its life status.
    Ugh. Spiders.
    Random fact, part 2: I am teach my cat to sit on command, using one of those hand signals people use on dogs. If you give me the book, I’ll make a video of my cat, sitting on command for you.

  121. Bobbi

    I’ve been reading for ages, but I think this is my first comment…
    I have 4 kids but I am the opposite of crafty. I have not kept a baby book for any of them, and I am completely afraid that I am going to forget everything about when they were little….which is why I want to start a blog. But I have no idea where to begin…
    um, as for a random fact….I love to cook, but somehow I am incapable of shopping so that cooking is possible. So I rarely cook.

  122. Jessie

    Hello Y:
    Random fact: I ran away at 16 and was a street kid in Seattle for almost a year. After that I hitchhiked my way across America following the Grateful Dead. (please note, this was NOT the 60’s. This was 92. Yes, I am that lame) Unfortunately, the stupidness doesn’t stop yet. Then I was a door to door salesperson all up and down the west coast selling cleaner. Have you gotten your Hy-Pro glo yet???

  123. mauniejames3

    my life is so crazy…trade with ya….we have two boys…one good and one truly evil…the good one is married with a terrific job and two beautiful girls now the bad one was a model and traveled to Italy
    New York Florida all over the place…then because
    of drugs he had a stroke…it was downhill from then on…am I making you laugh yet…anyhow he is doing better…his son is staying with us for now…and we lived happily ever after…the end

  124. jadine

    Hi Y! I’m mostly a lurker. I live in TX with my husband and two boys (ages 10 & 7).
    Random Fact 1: I’m pregnant right now with a baby that’s not mine or my husband’s. I’m a surrogate for some friends…due in April (after 3 years of failed attempts).
    Random Fact 2: When I was very pregnant with my first son, I was trying to shave my legs in a teeny-tiny stand-up shower. I was out-of-breath and annoyed at how hard it was. I was sort of bent over, and reached around behind me to rinse the razor under the shower stream, misjudged my own girth, and sliced my right butt-cheek open! Water, blood, me bent over — laughing at the ridiculousness. I now have 2 cracks.
    Not really; I have one crack and one lovely butt scar.

  125. TLD

    I am 35 but still have three baby teeth in my mouth. There are no adult teeth to take their place. I am supposed to use a child’s toothbrush to brush them but seldom do.

  126. jen from boston

    When I was 8?9?, I had a crush on 2 cute neighbors boys, twins Mike and Jimmy (who were 3-4 years older) who were brothers to my best friend. As was in the kid friendly neighborhood, everybody hung out in each others yards, and one day I looked thru the window to see that Mike and Jimmy hanging out in my backyard (digging in the sandbox? man, the 80s were lame).
    Seeing this as a perfect opportunity to make my move? Show them that I was all woman? I decided to strip down to show off all 70 lbs. of woman God gave me.
    Yes, I went streaking. in my backyard. in front of boys. Literally, I ran right past them.
    As my mom tells it (who was also there, ditto my dad) neither of them even looked up for a glance of a scrawny me and my mom just screamed in horror, “JENNIFER, GET YOUR ASS BACK IN THE HOUSE!”
    Why I thought this was a good idea, I could not tell you.

  127. Lizzi

    Y, you’ve been to my blog … you KNOW how much I need that book! But I digress….
    My Random Fact 1: I married my ex-boyfriend’s exwife’s ex-husband. Figure that one out.
    Random Fact 2: A couple of years ago, after coming home from a way-too-much-fun Halloween party, my husband left my sick self in the car so he could go in and pay the babysitter (from our church). In my totally rational mind, I decided then would be a good time to get out of the car … and puke. Right in front of the babysitter. Mmm hmm. Good times.

  128. Mrs. Who

    Well, I ordered the book just as soon as you mentioned it, so you can take my name out of the running. But I just had to share a random fact, because I can’t hardly stand it. When I was a teenager (many, many moons ago), I had a poem published in “Seventeen” magazine. It’s my claim to fame.

  129. Miss Britt

    I finally moved 1400 miles away from my hometown – just like I’d wanted to do since I was 16.
    It hasn’t turned out at all the way I’d fantasized.
    I’m afraid to admit to my husband and kids that I might have been wrong.

  130. DogsDontPurr

    Random fact: A couple years ago, I appeared nude on a TV show in Los Angeles, in front of a live audience.
    I told my parents I was going to be on TV. They were all excited…..until they found out I was going to be NUDE!
    The show was called Unscrewed. The night I was on, the crew and staff had just been told that their show was being cancelled. (No….it was not my fault!) I was on their last episode!

  131. Jenn C.

    Ok, Jen from Boston gets my vote. Not just because that story is hilarious, but also because that is totally something I would have done back in the day. You know, before I got The Fat.
    As for my random fact: I’m single, have no children, but am addicted to mommy blogs. I’m not sure if I’m doing it to get a glimpse at what I’m missing, or just to prepare myself for the worst. Also, my go-to guilty pleasure movie that I watch at least once a month? The Wedding Planner, starring Ms. Hennifer Lopez.

  132. temporarily me (sam)

    I peed my pants when I threw up yesterday. Morning sickness and a husband trying to call my bluff by making gaging sounds sent me into a fit of gags whereby making me barf my guts out and pee my pants.
    Nice.

  133. mbbored

    Ooh boy! I’ve been wanting to start a blog, but being an obsessive geeky perfectionist need to read a book to help me get started.
    Anyways, I ran my first marathon today, in memory of my dad who died of lymphoma when I was 8. He was obsessed with trains and right as I crossed the start line, I could hear a train whistle, which brought me to tears. And I had a lot of fun because I got to meet & talk to all sorts of people. Part of my inspiration was an 81 year old local legend who runs in full make-up and jewelry. But secretly, I knew I’d be embarassed if she beat me. How mean am I?
    And just to top it off in hopes of making you laugh a little, I seriously ran at least 1 mile backwards. Honestly. Just because it felt so good to be moving different muscles and I couldn’t take slowly moving towards some point in the distance anymore. I liked seing how much I’d already done.
    So I totally deserve to win because after burning like 3000 calories, I’m in need of fritos and bean dip.

  134. Mrs. Chicken

    Just after my wedding in 2002, I found a bald patch behind my right ear. I went to the doctor and it turns out that I’d developed alopecia areata, an autoimmune disease that causes your body to attack your hair follicles.
    By January 2003, I was almost 98% bald. My husband shaved my head for me, oh so sweetly, oh so kindly, in our bathroom late one winter evening when I couldn’t stand it anymore.
    It was so hard; I suddenly had to redefine what I found beautiful about myself. You see, I have always had lovely hair. Thick, reddish brown, glossy and straight. Suddenly it was gone and I was a bare soul.
    The worst part was that people looked at me with pity, thinking I was dying of cancer. That made me so angry, because I was physically fine, with the exception of being bald.
    But my beloved father was dying of cancer, though we didn’t know that at the time.
    I wore a wig I purchased in an orthodox Jewish wigmaker’s in Brooklyn for nearly two years. The month that my dad’s cancer was diagnosed as terminal, my hair began to grow back. Today I have a full head of the same hair I had all my life, except during those 24 months.
    My dad went to his grave thinking that I lost my hair because he was sick, due to the stress of it.
    I wish I could tell him that I have beautiful hair again.

  135. sylvia

    OK, so desperate desire for bean dip clearly isn’t going to be good enough. So, fine, if that’s how it is:
    *throws down the gauntlet*
    My boyfriend and I went on holiday with his family and were feeling a bit stressed because there were constantly people around. So towards the end of the trip, we got drunk together and ignored everyone else and finally, like 5am, there was no one there but us. And we went into the back yard of the place we were staying at and kept drinking and got a bit amorous and sorta got rid of the clothes and then … well somehow, just don’t ASK me why, it seemed to him to be a good conversational gambit to tell me about the most amazing blow job he’d ever had.
    He got about 3 words in before I’m stood up and screaming “what the fuck, what fucking blow job” and the top of my lungs and storming into the house. Naked. Directly into his mother, who couldn’t sleep and was sitting on the sofa reading a book. She didn’t look up.
    “Don’t mind me,” she said, as I kept storming right on past … into the kitchen, which was a dead end. I sat, naked, my back up against the oven, thinking “now what?” when I heard my boyfriend walk into the other room. “She went that way,” said his mother and carried on reading her book.
    He walked in, saw me sitting on the floor looking lost, and burst out laughing. I grabbed my clothes and swore, lots. :)

  136. Kay

    I too heart bean dip and love having the jesus approved sex. Also? I love you!!
    PS I would NEVER dream of opening your autographed can of bean dip, except if maybe I was having a bad hair day or Aunt Flo was overstaying her visit.

  137. theotherbear

    Having just spent an age reading through those, I have no idea how you would choose if it weren’t random. My favourites would have to be the girl who coughed and a poo fell out, the girl whose hairdresser died mid haircut, and the one who has 3 times cut off fingers (I’d love to hear more on that – by the third time that’s just carelessness surely?). Thanks for the laughs!

  138. Wendy

    I dressed as Kevin Federline for Halloween. To compliment my costume, I bought a doll at the Goodwill store and carried it to the party in a Taco Bell bag. The doll didn’t come home with me because at some point during the night, it’s head got popped off and passed around as a shot glass.
    True story, too. I’m uploading photos right now.

  139. Marriage-101

    I drove 2 hours one way on Saturday to go save two stray dogs from an animal control facility because they were going to be euthanized in three days. Yet, even though they were going to kill them, I still had to pay $40 for each dog. And since I’m not rich, I should could use a free book to pass the time 😉

  140. Audrey

    Well, since I’m no good at making someone want to be a better person, I’m going to go for the laugh angle: When I was young and innocent, I thought it would be super cool to coin a new phrase. So instead of saying “I messed up” or “I screwed up” or “My bad,” I walked around saying “I screwed.” I was super proud of my new phrase, and used it every chance I got … until my mom overheard me saying it at a grown-up party my parents were having and pulled me aside and explained that “I screwed” wasn’t a very polite thing to say so I should just say “I screwed up” instead.

  141. Amanda

    After reading all the other comments, there’s NO way you’ll pick me (but, oh, I hope you do!)…
    Random fact — when I get lunch from the drive-thru I always eat my french fries first, ’cause they’re crap once they’re cold. The sandwiches are usually wrapped a little better, and they’ll stay warm :-)

  142. JenniferB

    I NEED to be able to blog — too many family members around to be able to talk in “real life” about anything.
    My random fact — I attended 10 schools from kindergarten through high school graduation and was always glad we had to move to I could get away from the stupidity I had created. 😉 Please, help me blog!

  143. margalit

    Not only do I have a spot on my back that has been continually itchy since I had my twins 15 years ago, I also have a creepy skin tag on my labia that I’m petrified to have removed, so it keeps getting bigger and bigger and at some point will be the size of a human head. God help me!

  144. margalit

    Oh and I forgot that have another very interesting random fact. I meet Princess Diana in a grocery store in Sloane Square where she was picking up after-school snacks for her then very young sons. I walked right up to her and say “Hi!” like a total moron. She was very nice though, and asked me if I was American. Like DUH, who else walks up to royalty and says “HI”? Um, yeah.

  145. Itchy

    Here’s not only a random fact about me, but it’s also embarrassing as hell:
    In the 4th grade I was not feeling well one day, at all. And I needed to pee. So I went to the front of the class to ask if I could go to the bathroom but instead I passed right out in front of the entire class which made my bladder open up nice and wide and I peed all over myself.
    For some reason when my Mom got there to pick me up, the principal told my Mom that I threw up? Like, throwing up is less embarrassing? And um…how did I throw up on my crotch? I’ve still not figured that one out.
    Anyway, that is when we found out I had the chicken pox.
    The end.

  146. Candice

    Fact – I burn myself Every.Single.Time the oven is turned on, even if I’m not the one cooking.

  147. kristyk

    Four years ago, after giving birth to my 5th baby, I got my tubes tied. [My husband already had four kids and I figured nine was enough.] Today I took a pregnancy test. *
    Seriously.
    I’m late. And nauseous. I haven’t been able to eat all day and I can ALWAYS eat! Except when I’m pregnant. It’s the only time I lose weight.
    * No worries. It came out negative, but you can never be too careful.

  148. Living By Learning

    Yikes! The competition is fierce, and I really, really want to be a chic geek.
    Random Fact: When I was a hip young thing wearing a seersucker uniform, I wrote an essay about my mother’s baking. I described her bread as being so hard it doubled as a weapon.
    Now my tween daughter is writing essays on how her mom doesn’t cook at all.
    And another mom bites the dust…

  149. Cmommy

    Random fact: My wedding veil is hanging in our closet and I glimpse it every day. My husband has NOT ONCE commented on its presence; we’ve been married 18 years!

  150. Stimey

    Random thing kinda about me: My 2 1/2-year-old son has never cried a tear. Oh, he cries, all right, but there has never, not once, been a tear that has rolled down his face. Weird, huh?
    Random thing about me: I wiggle my toes back and forth when I’m trying to go to sleep.

  151. Kathy

    I twirl my hair obsessivly. I have all my life. I use to wake up in the middle of the night with my finger stuck in my hair because I twirled it in my sleep.

  152. Christie

    Not only do I twirl my hair as well, but while taking showers….I lose so much hair. I put it on the side of the shower walls,swirl it and ball it all up…and just imagine it could be a small animal…but you would never tell with my head of hair…so much, so thick. Not a fact I tell too many…lol.

  153. Don't Eat My Buchela!

    I don’t sit with my back to a door. It makes me feel unsafe not being able to see the obviously eminent danger that would come walking through the door.
    My husband jokes that I was a mobster in a past life.

  154. Maria

    OMG! These random facts are fabulous.
    I always have to shower and dress in the same direction (clockwise shower) and order (left side dressed first).
    Would you please let us know which is your favorite bean dip? Please!

  155. magpie

    The first time i ever smoked the umm, long hair-heavy metal-type persons kind of cigarette (if you know what i mean) I was so shocked at what was happening that I kept shouting “but . . . . but . . . .it’s so weird!!! But . . . . but . . . ” etc. etc. for the entire trip. Also during this oh so memorable fun times, I also peed my pants. And had to wear some other girls jeans while mine were being washed. Then, nearing the end of this trip, when the room was full of people that had just arrived, and the three of us who had gone on the private trip were trying to not let the other normal people (not normal, just not trippin)know that we were trippin, I had to pee again. And I forgot I was wearing jeans that were 6 sizes to big. Until they fell down to my ankles when I stood up. The gig was up then.
    Did I mention that I didn’t experiment again until many many moons later?

  156. Kyla

    Randon Fact: I hope that my son is gay so that his boyfriends will go shopping with me, and have me over for diner. I have it all planned out.

  157. heartfull

    Is it too late?
    I was on the cover of Woman’s World Magazine. I dropped 35 lbs after reading The Fat Fallacy by Will Cower. And when WW Mag picked his diet to feature, he asked for success stories and full body shots from the group on his Yahoo discussion board and they picked me. It was amazingly cool. I was in a real photographers studio in New York City. With Stylists and Makeup and Hair people! Me! A girl from the Midwest!
    After the issue came out, I had people ask me if I was going to do anymore “modeling”. Um, I was 33 (NOT 18), a size 8 (NOT a 2 or 0) and it was Woman’s World, not Vogue. No one was beating down my door :)…
    But it was one of the coolest experiences of my life.

  158. Girl on a mission

    I wrote you a poem!
    I hear your pain about financial stress….
    My life, my life is such a mess!
    I gained my weight over time…
    All this spending, I don’t have a dime.
    I eat, I sleep, I stress, and eat some more,
    Why the hell can’t I stay out of the store?
    Debt has caused my life to crumble…
    Falling off the wagon, oh another fumble!
    I read your blog for inspiration and cheer…
    Sometimes your message is quite clear!
    I laugh, I cry and vent on my blog…
    Meanwhile, my metabolism is as stiff as a log!
    I want to be an an after picture and not before….
    Oh those scales, those scales are such a whore!
    My life is filled is saving and paying off loans…
    My spouse wonders why I’m fulling of moans!
    I started a blog to vent and make friends…
    I’m sticking this out until the end.
    I wish I could wave a magic wand to lose weight…
    Meanwhile, I’m here…still thinking about food at 1/2 past eight!
    Food is a constant on my mind!
    I’m going to be blogging for the rest of time!
    Cheers to you on your lovelly web page…
    You really do set the stage!

  159. Jo

    I really need this book because I have been trying to start a blog for like a year and just can’t get it started. My husband continues to make fun of me on a daily basis. Things like, “Hey, you can post that on your blog…oh wait, you haven’t started it yet….” So, yeah, I really need this book. Thanks.

  160. Michelle S.

    I painted my nails red last night…it drives my husband insane when I have red nails. Last night I had to muffle my screams with my pillow it got so hot and nasty in the boudoire!! All because of my red nails…

  161. Alice Waugh

    The best random fact I can remember about myself at the moment is that in grad school I had an unusual part-time job: inseminating jelly doughnuts. See, you take a doughnut and impale it on this big hollow metal spike that looks like a giant hypodermic needle with a handle at the end. Then you pump the handle and it squirts the jelly into the doughnut. The name of the establishment was “Dream Fluff Donuts.” I quit after only two days because I had to get up at 5 a.m. when it was still dark (“time to make the donuts” — remember that ad?) and I was all, “forget this shit, I’d rather take more student loans so I can sleep though more of my hangover.”

  162. jules

    A homeless guy once tried to impress me by stealing a brick of Tillamook cheddar cheese. When that didn’t work he tried to sell it to me for 50 cents.

  163. Jamie

    My random thought… I am impressed with and probably a little jealous of bloggers and the friendships you have with other bloggers. I’d love to blog to save precious memories, but I’d also love to develop more friendships with women and men through blogging because as you get older and become a parent, you definitely have less and less time to develop in-person friendships, as well as fewer opportunities to meet people with similar interests.

  164. Tiff

    My husband works for Frito-Lay. One time he brought home a case of bean dip that was out of date. I was like “I should send this to Y!” Then I thought don’t be a freak she doesn’t want out of date bean dip, even though it is still good and we eat it. They just can’t sell it. Random thoughts….I would love to write a blog just because of the funny stuff that happens that I know I will forget. I am SCARED of Standard poodles. Weird huh? I work in radio, LOVE to laugh, have 3 kids and go to college 5 days of week. Most days I am a hot mess, but I believe in what I’m doing. Love your blog, we share the same sense of humor. ‘You’re getting on my nervous!’ I love it!

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