*twitch*

Yesterday I was feeling highly irritable.
I was lashing out at my husband, short tempered with my children, and raging with anger over the stupidest of things.
I was trying to figure out why on earth I was so wound up. I had no valid reasons to feel the way I was feeling; to act the way that I was acting. I couldn’t blame it on PMS because I just had my period last week.
I sat on the bed and searched for an explanation for my behavior.
Then, it hit me.
I hadn’t taken a vicodin in 8 hours.
Something I’ve not said out loud is this: I haven’t been in pain for over a week. With the exception of an occasional flare up in which my neck feels sore, I haven’t felt any pain in my neck.
I feel normal again.
I haven’t wanted to admit it for fear that as soon as I said it, it would start hurting again and you have no idea how bad it hurt. I didn’t elaborate much about how severe the pain was, except to say things like ‘it’s so bad, it hurts to fart!” The pain was so excruciating that I would contemplate killing myself at night, because I couldn’t even imagine living like that.
Dramatic? Yes. True? Absolutely.
There wasn’t a second of the day or night that I wasn’t in pain.
And so every 4 hours, per doctor’s orders, I’d take one, sometimes two, vicodin. I didn’t want to take those stupid pills because I am a Chicken Shit when it comes to taking medication. I am terrified of what medicine can do to your organs. I can’t tell you how many time my doctor has written me a prescription and I’ve not had it filled because I googled “side effects of *insert drug here*” and decided I’d rather have a rash than black teeth or PENIS PAIN.
I’m thrilled beyond belief that the pain is gone. When my doctor had called with the results of the MRI and said things like “neurosurgery” and “possibly months of pain” I was overwhelmed with fear and trying to come to terms with possibly living the rest of my life in a state of unbearable pain.
Knowing that is not going to be a reality for me brings me joy unspeakable and makes me want to give PigHunter blows jobs FOR NO REASON AT ALL.
However, the BJ’s are going to have to wait until The Withdrawal is over and my mother fucking leg will STOP SHAKING ALREADY.
Ah, the joys of detox.

44 thoughts on “*twitch*

  1. Y

    Thanks. It is pretty awesome.
    I even was able to go to the gym last night. First time since I hurt myself.
    And I feel great today.
    Well, except for the fact that I want to take a vicodin for no reason at all except I know it will feel good.
    I’m taking my daughter to the library instead.
    This too shall pass.
    *shakes*

  2. anna

    Hey, you know what’s good for that? PIE!! Go for pumpkin, because all the fiber totally washes away the sugary custardness, right? RIGHT?

  3. Marmite Breath

    Don’t overdo it at the gym, Y. I mean, I’m not trying to be your Mum or anything, but take it easy. The gym will still be there after your shakes subside.
    I’m really happy that you’re not hurting anymore.

  4. Mrs Butter B

    Hey, drink plenty of water, and try to do “easy” exercise (plain walking, at a conversational pace). It helps with the jitters and shakes, and helps flush your system. make sure you’re taking plenty of vitamin C also, because detox can really screw with your immune system.
    How do I know this? from detox research years ago when I volunteered at the hospital. I imagine it stills works though.
    Hope you feel very better soon!

  5. Maria

    So happy to hear you are pain free. I hope the detox is over soon.
    Is the leg shaking from the detox or have you developed RLS?

  6. mothergoosemouse

    I’m just impressed that vicodin made you feel good. They gave it to me after gum surgery, and it literally turned my stomach.
    Seriously – very glad the pain is gone. I can’t imagine living like that either.

  7. Y

    Actually, it did make me sick at first. VERY SICK.
    So, I stopped taking it.
    But the pain was so intense, that my doctor sat me down and told me that I really needed to take it, because the pain wasn’t going to go away on it’s own.
    And once my body went into shock from the pain, I decided he was probably right.
    And so, every 4 hours, I took it and eventually, it became my very best friend.

  8. elizabethsheryl

    *hugs*
    I am so glad the pain has stopped for you..I want it to continue that way FOREVER. :)
    Pain pills are no joke and I’m so glad that you could go 8 hours without one..you are like me with pills, I try NOT to take them if at all possible. I’m even that way with antibiotics**. Unless I know that I have something super-plauge-like I won’t take an antibiotic because I fear immunity for taking it with only mild colds and such. My in-laws take antibiotics whenever they sneeze..just for a day or two and then quit taking them and it’s like WTF are you doing! One day the plague WILL come and they will be screwed with their mutated germ antibodies. *shudder*
    ** This is what happens when you spend a lot of time with your pediatrician uncle who is pissed that parents will not finish off the antibiotic perscription for their children and then wonder why they keep getting sick. For the love of pete, people, give them ALL 10 DAYS.

  9. Murphy

    Oh man withdrawl is the worst. I remember going through it after both my hip surgeries. It sucks, but it is short lived. Load up on Starbucks in the meantime. :)

  10. Lisa

    I’m glad to hear that the worst is over. Keep ahead of any residual pain, though, with the OTC stuff (Advil, etc.) Here’s hoping your detox is swift!

  11. tiffany

    if it starts to feel really bad…the withdrawal, i mean…don’t be afraid to take half a pill once a day or something. there is a difference between dependence and addiction…you were ordered to take these pills, you took them the way they were deescribed, and your body is now dependent on them.
    hell, they wouldn’t work to get rid of the pain if they weren’t powerful like that.
    they simply aren’t meant to be stopped abruptly.
    so, take a half every now and then…and, for the love of pete, don’t be afraid to ask your doctor for some tips or a routine to help yourself wean off.
    i’m so sorry, i know this is ass-vice as all get out…but i have some major experience with this (which i have never been brave enough to write about…mad props to you…), and i can honestly say it was the most difficult thing i’ve ever been through.
    the fact that you’re online and discussing this with some amount of humor tells me that you’re doing much better than i did…but, all the same.
    don’t be afraid to ask for help.
    seriously.
    it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.
    it’s a narcotic, for chrissake.

  12. Susan

    I hear you. I have had about $7k worth of dental work this year (8 root canals) and have taken my share of Vicodin. I did some research on the stuff, and it’s HIGHLY addictive, and equivalent to a low dose of heroin. Not only that, you can become addicted within 7 DAYS. I have taken it off and on for months! And you know what’s scary? I have taken it when I wasn’t in pain, because I love how it makes me feel. Not good.

  13. Jen from Boston

    Ya know, I was just thinking about you and your neck pain last night – how you hadn’t mentioned it in awhile and was going to write you an email to check in and see how it was going (and also to suggest to call a post “Judy: The OTHER pain in my neck” or some variation of that).
    I am so thrilled to read this report today and that you can actaully get back to the gym; I know how you have missed it (well, as much as one can “miss” the gym).
    Note to Susan: – holy crap, EIGHT ROOT CANALS?? can’t even imagine. I had one and that was enough fo rme. You poor thing.

  14. Suburban Turmoil

    If you need me, say the word- I will totally fly out there and tie you to a bed and spoon feed you weak oatmeal and wipe the sweat off your brow until this all passes. I saw an after school special on this very topic when I was 13, so I totally know how it’s done.
    Seriously, glad the pain has gone away! That is HUGE! Pain sucks.

  15. Ree

    Um, Bossy? [psssst. Over here. I will split those extras with you.]
    Oh, and Y? Don’t spoil Pighunter. Those BJs are more addictive to them than that Vicodin is to you. Word.

  16. Y

    HA. Penis Pain ruins lives.
    Extra pills? Um, down to my last one. But, never fear, a phone call to the pharmacy will take care of that.
    Of course I won’t actually call the pharmacy unless I’m in pain. But, sad = pain, right?
    Right!
    Now where is that phone number….

  17. Daisy

    Those extra pills…you may want to ask your doctor what to do with them. You won’t want to keep them around. Congrats on working your way out of the addiction!

  18. MsRebecca

    Cleaning the carpets I wrenched my neck.. I was pissed, felt like shit..necked throbbed in my spine it hurt so bad.. My signif gave me a Vicodin, several adolescent years flooded back into my brain like water over a dam, things I had forgotten over the years, the pain subsided in literally 10 minutes, it was heavenly bliss.. I wanted another, I enjoyed the painless feeling it offered.. how scary, I would be poppin’ these things like tic tacs if there had been more then just one

  19. Jenn

    Chocolate for the jonesing. Seriously. Also? One of those dumb ass stress balls you squeeze the hell out of or worry beads or something to do with your hands. It helps. Corny, but helpful.
    You know I know the hell. You also know how to reach me if you need to.
    I am glad to pain is gone. Riding through the withdrawal is a bitch, but you are a kick ass woman who can do it. I’m hear if you want to talk. Or scream. Or punch someone. (I will probably hand that one to someone else, but I will cheer you on!)

  20. Y

    I have been talking about bj’s a lot, haven’t I?
    Which is funny, because I haven’t been giving them.
    WTF?

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