This post has been severely edited because sometimes I need to THINK before I hit “save”

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Blah Blah Blah, I’m pissed, Blah Blah Liars Blah. Blah. Thanks for calling us and telling us personally.
(And I understand they’re following the law in sending us that notice, however, we just had a conversation with him on Sunday in which he said “please don’t worry, we’re not going to kick you out, we want to give you plenty of time to find a new place.”)
(Also: Wow. This is really happening.)
Ethan was standing next to me when the mail lady gave me the Certified letter and was SO ANGRY. I’ve taught my son to take out his anger in “healthy ways” one of those ways being “by writing how you feel on paper.”
And so, he wrote a letter to The DickLords. I won’t post the entire letter, because it’s very personal BUT, I will share the last sentence because, well, it’s totally awesome.

The one word that sums up the both of you is “MEAN.”

Love that kid, man.
As upset as I am with them for the way they’ve handled this matter, the truth is, I’m more upset with myself for having put my family in this position by not having bought a home of our own.
Ugh.
It looks like we’ll be moving in with my parents by the middle of next week.
Oh my God. Moving in with my parents. MY PARENTS!
Excuse me while I go apply calamine lotion to ma’ hives.

93 thoughts on “This post has been severely edited because sometimes I need to THINK before I hit “save”

  1. Carla

    My family has been in this exact situation only the house we lived in was sold by my own uncle. He came over to tell us he put the house on the market and 3 weeks later it was sold. While we were all really pissed off for awhile, this really did lead to much better things. I finally moved out of my parents house and my parents found a new, much nicer looking house to rent. I know this may be hard to imagine now but things may start looking up soon… anyhow, that’s my hope for your family. :)

  2. Angela

    Delurking to say you really have my sympathies. What a lousy thing for your landlord to do. If I had to move the family in with my parents, I think I’d go straight past hives into Ulcer City. Good luck finding a new place, and soon.

  3. Y

    Yeah, it’s not going to be fun. (And I’m sure my parents aren’t all that thrilled about having us invade their house either)
    But, I do feel grateful that we have that option so we can have some time to find a place.

  4. Annika

    Oh my god, how much do I love Ethan?! (Hint: even more than I hate your landlords. Or should I say EX-landlords, which, yay!)

  5. sarcastic journalist

    HORRID evil people. Look, you CAN do this. Let me know what you’re looking for, I’ll search every damn website for you. How can I call your parents house because I’d be all “This is Y’s internet friend” and they don’t know about your “internet friends!”

  6. Meg

    Oh, wow that blows! I can’t believe that it’s legal! Do you have a lease that gives them an out? What about state laws? (((hugs)))

  7. jeanie

    It really does stink – but you have a month. I am hoping that that month finds you a wonderful new home.
    In the one-upmanship stakes, it happened to an (internet) friend of mine whose family are all overseas. She is the single mother of a 2 year old – the father would love to help but shares with 3 others so can only offer the lounge.
    I know that didn’t make you feel any better, really, so super-duper double luck.

  8. Mamacita

    Move in with us. We’ve got room. Rent-free, so you can take your time finding a new home. Dear heart, I would SOOOO love to have you!!!

  9. Nothing But Bonfires

    God, those assholes. I don’t know, I can’t think of anything helpful to say, but I do have a mantra for you, one that’s served me well during crappy times: whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
    It’s from that poem, Desiderata, by Max Ehrman. I loved it a little less when I found out a few days ago that it’s also SIENNA MILLER’S mantra. Ugh. Then again, she doesn’t done too badly for herself. Maybe you’ll meet Jude Law!
    Thinking of you. Sending bad vibes to Mr. & Mrs. Dickhead.

  10. DebbieS

    I’m not saying you should do this, or even that your kids should read this, but when I was 10 we had to move out of the top apartment in a two-family home we’d lived in since I was 4…and I went down to our shared laundry room and stuck straight pins into the tighty-whities of my landlord. I never did hear what happened…guess my mom should have told me to express my anger through writing, eh?
    The offer of that Frappuccino still stands…want me to crush a Xanax into it for you??

  11. FlippyO

    Wow, that sucks total ass. Why don’t you have everything completely prepared to be moved to your parents by the move out date, but look for something else in the meantime, so maybe just maybe you won’t have to live with your parents…or move twice. Because, while you love your parents, you are going to hate living with them again. Of course, on the selfish & evil side of that, damn, what great blog material for us to read. 😉
    Good luck! And, if there’s anything I can do to help, let me know. I’ll join SJ in scouring the internet for a new place for you guys to live. Just give me the specs and the word and I’ll start looking. Actually, even better…post what you’re looking for here and let all of us look. Imagine the connections that the thousands of your readers have. So, do it right away, so we have plenty of time to get you your dream home. Or, at least your very nice stopover point before you reach your dream home. Discuss it with Tony and get back to us, your army of home finders.

  12. tiffany

    well.
    i would say sweet christ! you’re moving in with your parents!?
    but we all know that we can’t say things like that in front of your parents.
    so…
    doo doo doooo, nothing to see here.

  13. danelle

    Definitely let us help you find something! You have plenty of time. Anything to avoid moving back in with the parents…

  14. justme

    Well he could have at least given you a sixty day notice, you have lived there for a long time!

  15. Erin

    Holy crap! “Surprise! Now get the hell out”….. freakin cowards.
    I don’t actually have anything useful or helpful to say. Just that I hope the move goes well and that you find the place your dreams in the process!

  16. KimberlyDi

    Change can be an adventure. Save up some money for a down payment while you live with your parents. The good news is that home prices are going down and you will probably get more home for your buck. Try getting a HUD home were you might get a house discounted 20%. There are some nice HUD homes. You have your family and your health. All is well.

  17. meritt

    Well… I guess I look at this differently. We rented for the first 8 years of marriage. We were renters when all three of our children were born, buying our first home when the baby was 3 months old.
    Things like this take you by surprise but I bet there is something better waiting for you and this happened for a reason. Really!!!
    We went through some hellacious landlords… one of which a very unhealthy fixation on my first pregnancy and our new baby daughter… scary actually. We’ve been served papers to be evicted when they found out we had a pet. We’ve done a ‘midnight move’ from California to Tennessee to get away from a scary landlord…..
    and always ended up in a better place in the long run.
    YOU WILL TOO! :)
    NOW… about moving in with your parents. You have an entire month to move – why move in with them next week? Take it slow – don’t make any knee-jerk reactions and just do some deep breathing. :) Really. Take this one step at a time and think out the steps.
    Moving is always exciting and new starts are fun! Turn it into something positive for your son – it works really.

  18. Jessica

    When we found out we were having our second child and I decided the cost of daycare was not worth my working, we moved in with my mother in law. We had done this once before, when my husband left the Navy and we moved back to be close to our families. That lasted three months and I decided I couldn’t take it anymore and found a place to rent within a week of making the decision. Here we are though…back with the MIL again. While saving money has been fabulous, and while I truly appreciate being able to stay home with my boys, I WANT MY OWN SPACE NOW!!! Of course, once we leave I am sure I will miss all the extra money. The grass is always greener right? Good luck to you and I am so sorry you have to go through this.

  19. Individual Gal

    I had 30 days to get out too and I didn’t see it coming either. The difference is I owned the property(ok, jointly with my ex-husband) and to make a long story short,he lied under oath and got the property sold to a 3rd party(wink, wink, nudge, nudge, his friend!!) out from under me. The judge gave me 30(yes! 30!!) days to: a) move myself, my child, my 3 dogs, 3 cats, 48 horses and several tractor trailer loads of belongings b) locate a suitable place for all of us c) make an offer on a new property, and close the deal within 30 days d) wring my lawyer’s neck for letting this happen to me!——-The icing on the cake was that my putrid ex moved in the day after I moved out! So much for “arms length transaction” !
    Hang in there, it’ll work out. I am better off now(mentally anyway!), but it certainly didn’t feel that way as I was living the nightmare!

  20. Jess in MI

    I would stay up until the DAY you have to be out, dont give him the extra cushion to do whatever he wants.
    HUgs, I understand, and if you want to travel to MI, you can stay here LMAO!!!!
    HUGS Again!

  21. Brandi

    I will join the masses and invite you to move in with us. Only there’s a catch. You can’t ever leave. Kinda like Hotel California.

  22. Y

    The reason we want to move now is plain and simple.
    $$$$
    It’s going to cost us at least $3,500 to move into a new place and so we’re trying to save a few dollars on rent here.
    My life is going to suck for the next few weeks.

  23. Patois

    I hope your son got the satisfaction of actually mailing the letter. Mean people should be told they’re mean. Just like stupid people should be told they’re stupid. So they don’t go through life thinking they’re normal.
    Stop beating yourself up on this, though, because it’s not like you brought it on. I know, I know, easy to say, hard to do. Good luck!

  24. Susan

    I want to take revenge on them, and I don’t even know them. Or you, for that matter. lololol
    But who cares. If you can think of anything hateful I can do to them from 180 miles away, just e-mail me. I’m dead serious.

  25. teachbroeck

    I know this seems so cliche’ BUT somehow someway this will turn out for the best. I am not a big preacher but it is all part of the plan…pack lots of prozac!

  26. stephanie

    Y — check this out. It looks like you guys might fall into the exception for landlords only needing to give 30 days notice, but it can’t hurt to double check that he satisfied all those requirements… for example, that he’s never given you 30- or 60-day notice previously, or that he hasn’t opened escrow more than 120 days before he gave you notice. Although, the language does say “contracted to sell” — I’m not sure whether that means he has actually found a buyer or not yet.

  27. Beth

    According to California Law, effective January 1, 2003, if you have resided in a rental property for one year, your landdick must give you 60 days notice to vacate the property.

  28. teresa

    OMG…I’m so sorry for you.
    I guess the loud, wild monkey love is out for a wild.
    Wouldn’t want to scare the folks.

  29. Amy

    Crap. I will be envisioning affordable, clean (with new cabinets!) homes for you at every turn. YOu’ll find something better, Y. You will.

  30. Tula

    Whilst you should check wheteher your landlord is within his rights to only give you 30 days notice, it is nothing personal to you and your family, and you shouldn’t encourage your son’s hatred and name calling

  31. Y

    “hatred and name calling.”
    He’s not hateful, he’s a loving kid. He’s just hurt and upset that he has to leave the only house he’s ever known.
    He’s allowed to be upset and he’s allowed to write out how he feels.
    Telling them they’re mean isn’t hateful, it’s honest. You didn’t see the entire letter, it’s respectful, honest and I couldn’t be prouder of him for being so articulate and honest with his feelings.
    But thanks for stopping by!

  32. Y

    Also, HE is taking it personally because my son was standing next to me when our landlord promised us all that he “wasn’t kicking us out” that he was “going to give us plenty of time to find a new place” and infact! Asked us to stay while the house was in escrow and to “please not move out yet”.
    We got that letter 2 days later.
    We’ve lived here for 10 years and you know what? They ARE mean.
    The truth is the person that I’m the most upset with is MYSELF for not having bought a house for my family.
    This is their house, they can do what they want and don’t owe us anything. We’re just all a little stressed out right now.

  33. Jess in MI

    ITA Y, that was mean, and i completly agree with the way you are letting Ethan handle his feelings…HUGE HUGS!!!

  34. Susan

    Y, for what it’s worth, I thought it was an amazing idea to have your son put his feelings onto paper. You are definitely on the right track when it comes to parenting!
    So, GOOD JOB! Many of could stand to take a few lessons from you.

  35. LaDonna

    Man, that totally sucks. Sending all the positive vibes I can your way. (HUGS) The near future will stink, but you all will be better off in the long run getting away from that freakin’ slum lord.

  36. trish

    If you want to move to Texas, you can take my house off my hands, since I want to move in 2 months!
    I hate landlord/tenant situations. They’re hardly ever pleasant. Hang in there, I hope you get your internet time!

  37. nila

    Those landlords are mean! Ethan has every right to say that, and you’re not encouraging it, you have every right to say that too. They suck!
    I’m hoping you’ll find something better, with pretty cabinets. Don’t beat yourself up over it, It’s got to be tough to buy a house in So. Cal. So expensive. Take care and hang in there.

  38. Christina

    Y;
    I can so sympathize with you right now! My landlords are not being dicks but I do have to move. So that means cleaning and decluttering my house that I have lived in since 1992! In that time I have gotten married and had five kids, do you have any ideas how much clutter we have? Yikes! Anyway, I’m thinking about you and your family hon! We can do this!

  39. dana michelle

    Giving you just 30 days to vacate a home you’ve lived in for this long is just inexcusable (and really seems illegal to me, too) These people are total sh*theads! I am so sorry you have to go through this, but like a lot of others here, I believe that this is going to turn out to be a good thing and you are finally going to find your very own home. With. Fabulous. Cabinets. :)
    Promise me once you are completely out from under their thumbs you will publish the dicklord’s names and address so we can all send them nasty letters!!
    Oh that’s right, they’re “moving out of state”. Probably running from the law!
    (((((((((Big hugs for you and your family!!))))))))))
    You will get through this!!

  40. P

    Delurking to say I’m so sorry for your stressful situation. As a landlord myself (in the state of Michigan) I can only say from my experience that in the real estate world, it’s nothing personal just business. I know it doesn’t make it any easier. If I had a tennant that stayed around for 10 years I’d have a very hard time (personally) having to send such a letter. Interestingly, I too have my rental up for sale, however, whoever purchases the property will be the ones to deliver such news. I’m selling my duplex as is with tennants occuping. I wish you all the best.

  41. Empie

    Y did you guys pay a deposit? The bastard landlords better plan on giving it back, that way you can use the money to start looking, but I know how it is, in 2005 to May of last year we moved “5” flippin times, and moving 7 kids 5 times is unreal! We did it, it killed us financially, and now we are trying to move again, cuz yes, we have a dicklord too!
    It will get better hun, I will pray you guys find a stable and better place to go, I hope the kids will be okay, and I hope you keep your sanity, just take a few minutes for yourself when it seems too hard to handle, then call your doc and ask for some Xanax! LOL I know it can be hard when we got to our 4th move
    I broke down, I was exhausted mentally, it wears you down, but just make sure you take it step by step, and know that now you have the opportunity to find a place without fucked up kitchen cabinets!
    (((HUGZ))))

  42. Andra

    I’m an avid reader of your post and I’m coming out of lurker style because it is warranted. Just wanted to say that you and your family are in my prayers. Things always work out, always! If all else fails, come to Kansas, I have a really cool apartment for you :) No, really, I do. Seriously. Just saying :)

  43. Sam

    I agree with Tula, you shouldn’t allow your child to be disrespectful. I had to do this to my tenants and it was a very hard thing to do, but I needed to sell my property because I needed the money for my own kids, it was nothing personal, you don’t really know your landlords full story so shouldn’t really be so judgemental

  44. Beth

    Sam, there’s a difference between selling a house because you have to and feeling bad about it and apologizing to the tenant for the major upheaval…and selling the house out from under someone despite having said you wouldn’t do it (as Y’s landlord said), then appearing to not even care by sending an impersonal letter with no explanation or apology. And I agree with Y in that her son can write anything he wants to write in order to express his feelings. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

  45. kirsten

    !@#$!!!!
    It’s one thing for you and the dad-parent to be frustrated and sad but I’m effing PISSED that your poor kids have to uproot.
    Wish I could do something to help.

  46. Y

    My child is not disrespectful and just the same way that you say I shouldn’t be so judgemental against my landlords (because I don’t know the whole story) same way you shouldn’t judge my kid without knowing him.
    Also? We do know the whole story.
    And I’ve said they have every right to sell it, but my son has every right to be hurt and upset for having to leave the only house he’s ever known and having to leave his friends, his school and so on.
    YOU don’t know what we’ve told him (things like “we’re the ones you should be upset with for not having bought our own house.) but he’s upset with him and I told him he could write him a letter, as LONG AS HE WASN’T RUDE OR DISRESPECTFUL.
    You didn’t see the entire letter, so, um, in your own words, you shouldn’t be so judgemental.

  47. Mrs Butter B

    Y, don’t let those haters bring you down! You know your child isn’t being hateful or disrespectful- kids have to have a place to vent, and I think its fabulous that your kids know they can be honest with their mom and she’ll understand and sympathize. If more kids learned how to deal with their emotions rather than bottling them up, fewer kids would be on drugs or attempting suicide. And I wish that every son had a mom like you that understands pain hurts and its ok to express that!
    As for the negative comments, funny how that seems to be coming from landlords, isn’t it. Maybe guilty consciences from times they screwed people over for the sake of a dollar.
    Yes, we all have a responsibility to support our families, but whether you’re a liberal democrat (Hillary Clinton- It takes a village) or conservative republican (the Bible- people are responsible for their fellow man, and people should watch out for the interests of others), it isn’t ok to screw people over.
    The fact that the landlord told you what he did, and coupled with the previous comments he made the last time, leads me to believe he was intentionally stringing you along to get as much money as he can, and to keep the house occupied until he finished his sale (less change of the empty house being vandalized while on his insurance, I would guess).
    My dad owns a rental property, and he doesn’t play like that. Many a time he’s loaned his truck to help someone who needed it, and I know at least one family that lived in his house rent free so they and their kids could have a roof over their heads during a rough patch.
    There’s more to life than making a buck or “tying up loose ends” before a move. It’s called common decency- kindness- honesty- respect.
    You and your kids have it. Your landlord (a liar to boot) does not.
    But kudos to you for staying calm and coming up with a plan. Moving in with the parents isn’t fun I’m sure, but at least your kids won’t look back and remember a time they were homeless or living in a car.
    This bummer is really just a blessing in disguise, I know it is.
    And has anyone else been looking online for a house for Y? I have, until I realized I have absolutely NO CLUE what part of the city she lives in, much less what school the kids go to, or anything. I guess I thought I’d be able to isolate the Russian aerobics teacher who worked near a Starbucks.
    I feel like a dummy, but I did find some really neat houses. ANd because you might classify as a minority (1/2 Latino, right?), you possibly could qualify for this neat 1st time homeowners thing I found. I have way too much time on my hands I think!

  48. Mrs Butter B

    Anyone else notice that “Sam” and “Tula” have a lot of the same grammatical problems (forgetting punctuation, typos)?
    I’m guessing a troll or again, a slumlord who cheated his/her own renters, posted on here to stir crap and realized they were all alone in their stupidity, and posted a second “support” email.
    Now THAT’S someone with too much time on their hands. Arguing and backing yourself up? Schizophrenia or Multiple Personality Disorder, anyone?
    What a weekend. Happy Easter, Y! Will you be home with the parents in time for sunrise Easter services? Or am I the only one expected to be at that?

  49. trish

    Doncha just looooove those people who show up just to say “Oh, you don’t know the whole story.”
    *knocks chip off shoulder*
    😉

  50. BOSSY

    Think of all the money you’ll save. Bossy always lives with the fantasy that she’ll need to vacate her house and be forced into saving.

  51. Louise

    If you REALLY wanted to be disrespectful, you could get up to the shenanigans that happened in Washington, where this guy who was evicted put an ad up on craigslist and said that the house was going to be torn down, so people should come and take anything they wanted. They took everything, including the front door and kitchen sink.
    😉 It’s an idea…
    and Happy Easter!

  52. Dani

    Hey Y, have you ever thought of looking into getting a HUD loan to buy a house? I’ve no clue of your income but with three kids and one salary, I’d be way surprised if you didn’t qualify. Hell my fiance did, and he was single and making good money! Good luck. My prayers are with you!

  53. Sam

    Oh, Mrs Butter B, you think your grammar, spelling and punctuation is so perfect? I was deliberately dumbing down for the likes of you! You think I have too much time on my hands? You’re the one looking for a home for someone you don’t even know, that’s creepy and weird, are you stalking Y? Don’t you have real friends? or a life of your own? you have to live vicariously through people you don’t even know?

  54. rose

    Y,
    I am a landlord and more than once have given a tenant notice, only to have them at the last minute say they “couldn’t find a place.”
    On more than one occasion I have made it worth their while to leave, because it was worth my while.
    Perhaps you might write Mr. Landlord a note and tell him you *hope* you can be out on time, that you’re trying really hard, but with the short notice, it’s hard to come up with all the money you need for the down payment. And if you must go to your parents, don’t go until the last minute. I’m guessing he waited until AFTER he got April rent?( did you have to pay last rent when you moved in?)

  55. Mrs Butter B

    Rose- that’s a great suggestion. Maybe even the new owners would let them stay? I know for our state, all property transfers are listed online- go to your county clerk’s website, typically found off the county homepage.
    Do ya’ll ever watch that “What You Get For Your Money” show on HGTV? It shows all around the country what you get for say, $150,000.00 or even the extreme million dollar homes.
    I went on rentalhomes.net and was floored- houses that would go for maybe 500 or 600 a month down south are 2000+ in LA. Ridiculous. I can’t imagine!
    Hey, Y, have you thought of an apartment/townhome? At least you’d have the pool for the kids this summer.
    Are you going to be able to keep the dog? (Didn’t I read not long ago that ya’ll had a dog?) What burns my hide is that its happening right here at the end of the school year- what will happen to the boys? Can you get a hardship extension or something?
    (Oh, and Sam, easy there cowboy. You might want to up your Paxil dosage soon, if my comments really pushed your buttons that terribly.)

  56. Moogie

    I’m so sorry you are having to go through this stressful time in your lives. Ethan ROCKS! I really loved the way you handled a situation that could have gotten ugly. Teaching your child how to deal with anger in the proper way is most excellent and if you don’t mind, I think I’ll put that in my memory bank to pull out for later use. You did an awesome job. It’s easy for me to say, but being on the other side, I can see that you are doing your best for your family. For whatever reasons, it wasn’t the right time to buy a home. Through no fault of your own, you are being forced to vacate…but this just means you will have the world of opportunities at your door.

  57. Reese

    Please understand my aggravation with this situation. I too had to up and leave my home, I had 6 other people; plus my mom and myself to move out. My landlord I had back home, decided to default on his mortgage and then we got kicked out. The man was like, don’t worry we won’t kick you out; you’ll be just fine. Oh, I was so angry. I even offered to buy this house, it was amazing; but it didn’t happen. They didn’t think I could afford it. I could have gotten help for the mortgage, and paid it myself. Come to find out, that 4,200+ sq. ft victorian home went for 77,000. *screams*
    Best luck to you in your transition. You’ll be fine in no time, I am sure of it.
    Take care & happy easter!
    *HUGS*

  58. Mom101

    Ugh ugh ugh!
    I was just going to write what Beth did – I don’t believe that 30 days to vacate is legal. And despite what the couple of contrarians feel the need to write here, you have no imperative to know “the other side of the story.” When you become a landlord, you have legal obligations to your tenants. If you can’t handle that? Find another way to make a living.
    I think that if you need 60 days, you find the law and write back a respectful letter quoting that law and telling him that you’ll be happy to be out in 60.
    I know this is going to open new doors for you though – with cabinets your son will love too.

  59. Belinda

    I, too, fall squarely into the “something better is just around the corner for you” camp. I just really believe that.
    And it’s “IN ESCROW?” I obviously have no idea how things work in California, because I work at a title company, and it only takes a matter of days to close a home sale here–faster if you’re paying cash. And we don’t do “escrow.” Not in the sense that you guys do it, anyway. It sounds like he sold the place literally out from under you, before informing you. Just. So. Wrong.
    But still, I’m guessing that this time next year, you’ll be looking back on this as “one of the best things that ever happened” to you, in retrospect.
    God bless.

  60. anne nahm

    And now I have a girly crush on you – I thought there was absolutely no way anyone could make me feel lucky for the extra day! You can go where we go, but it will most likely be my mom’s couch. How do you feel about ultrasuede?

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