This thing called Marriage

When PigHunter and I were first married, I would get up with him every morning to make him a wonderfully nutritious lunch and a big, fat egg burrito.
I didn’t mind getting up at 3 in the morning, because I could go straight back to bed after he was gone. Ah, the joys of not having to go into work until 1:30 in the afternoon.
Some of my friends thought that I was crazy for getting up that early, but I really didn’t mind. In fact, I enjoyed it. I was young, happy, crazy in love and having The Legal and Jesus Approved Sex at least 3 times a day. I was happier than I had ever been in my 19 years of life on this planet and I woke up excited every morning to express my happiness by making a big, cheesy burrito and a lunch box filled with good food for my man.
A few months into the marriage, the Joy of Scrambling Eggs at 3 in the morning started to wear off and I would dread the sound of the alarm. But still, I’d get up, make him a burrito and a lunch, kiss him goodbye and go right back to sleep.
Then, one morning, I didn’t feel like getting up.
“I’m so tired, babe.”
“It’s ok, you stay in bed my love, I can make my own lunch.”
I can make my own lunch.
Those 5 little words changed everything.
I did get up to make him lunch still, but only a few days a week instead of every single day.
And then a few days turned into one or two days.
Then I just stopped completely.
Every once in a while, I’ll wake up early and surprise him by packing him a lunch and making him breakfast while he’s in the shower, but 16 years and 3 kids later, I really value my sleep, so when I say “every once in a while” I mean, like, 2 times every year.
There are some mornings when Tony will come in here to kiss me goodbye while I’m sleeping, (and sometimes, he’ll left my shirt up and play with My Bobs, and then next thing I know, he’s on top of me and we’re having a 5 am quickie.) but most mornings, he rushes out the door without saying goodbye.
Ever since we received the news that we had to vacate this house, Tony has been coming into the bedroom every morning and kissing me gently while telling me how much he loves me, how much he’s going to miss me and how he can’t wait to come home from work and see me again.
You see, since we were faced with this “life crisis”, we’ve been doing a lot of talking. We’ve been talking about things we normally don’t talk about, like our feelings.
PigHunter has feelings! Who knew!
We’ve had some pretty intense conversations. Some of them have been positive and uplifting and ended up in some Pretty Sweet Boinking. Some of them have been painful and brutal (“I’m SO done with you!” “Oh yeah? I’ve BEEN done with YOU!”). But with each conversation we have, one thing is always evident.
We love each other deeply and we want to keep our family together.
I love my husband more today that I ever have and apparently, he feels the exact same way.
That is why he doesn’t want to leave the house without kissing me and telling me how much he loves me. (He told me this while we were waiting for our burgers and fries in the Wendy’s drive-thru!)
That he has decided he needs to take a few minutes out of his morning to say goodbye to me and tell me how much he’ll miss me while lavishing my sleepy head with kisses is the most precious thing in my life right now.
(I will wait while you go rinse the vomit from your mouth because I know that made you sick.)
It makes me so happy that I almost want to get up early, scramble him some eggs, pack him a lunch and maybe give him a little loving in the form of a, what do the kids call it? A BJ?

53 thoughts on “This thing called Marriage

  1. KK

    Hahahaha! Y you crack my s*it up! ALMOST! Hahaha Ah, the joys of married life! My hubby and I thank eachother all the time too for the life we have built together. We are some lucky wimmens!!!! :) XOXOX

  2. KK

    P.S. Not “almost” that you crack me up.. “almost” about the BJ. Just wanted to clarify! XOXO

  3. Mrs Butter B

    That is so precious!!
    (the “feelings” not the BJ)
    Although, I imagine Pighunter probably feels the BJ is pretty special, I’d rather not think about it at all.
    Tell Pighunter if he really wants to see entertainment, how about waking you up one morning by touching a freshly licked sugar free chocolate popsicle to your “neeple”. You’ll wake up so confused it isn’t funny- torn between the smell of chocolate (always excellent to wake up to), your hubby looking horny as a fool, and the feeling that somehow your boob got caught in the icemaker.
    But all in all, no complaints.
    (As long as I get a popsicle afterwards!)

  4. lil_wifey

    so stinkin’ cute. I love reading stuff like this. It’s nice to hear about happy marriages instead of the usual and frequently documented unhappy ones.
    You guys are adorable.

  5. Ryann

    First off – awwww. I love sleepy kisses. I’m glad you two are doing so well. :)
    Second of all – this has absolutely nothing to do with your post, but I want you and every woman who has ever had body image issues to watch this video –
    I actually thought specifically of you as I watched it, because I know how you struggle with your weight, despite how beautiful we all think you are. I struggle sometimes too, and watching this woman is one of the most uplifting things I’ve ever seen. I hope it helps you the way it helped me.

  6. Susan

    That is so sweet! He’s such a keeper. This morning my husband woke me up (he leaves way before I do) and was singing, “Bearalicious” (to the tune of Fergalicious). See, he calls me Bear, and I call him Bear, and it’s all pretty nauseating… okay, you get the idea. 😉 But I was just thinking to myself how lucky I am that I have such a sweet husband who is almost ALWAYS in a good mood (I feel like a biotch in comparison) and who starts out my days in that way. And when I walk in the door at the end of the day, he always greets me with a huge smile while he’s cooking dinner. After working his ass off all freaking day.
    A BJ is definitely in order. For your hubby AND mine.

  7. Heather

    “having The Legal and Jesus Approved Sex at least 3 times a day” You are awesome, and I heart you.
    You also made me cry, because I hope someday I’ll find that, someday be that happy…and have that much sex 😉

  8. Brandi

    That is so sweet. In this day and age where divorce is so common, it’s nice to read about couples who are making it work.

  9. jenny

    ok after i rinsed and came back…i had to go rinse again. i think i got a toothache that was so sweet.
    right on. see?! it’s gonna be ok!

  10. Amy the Mom

    I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again…I have a crush on your entire family. I would buy you Starbucks every morning (and bean dip every afternoon) if I lived within driving distance of you. I love how your blog puts everything into perspective-your family gets it-they understand what’s important in life, and that is because you and Tony are incredible.

  11. danelle

    I made my ex’s lunch every day for (ugh) 14 years before I kicked his cheatin ass to the curb. Now my sweet 25 year old daughter has made her husbands lunch every day since they were married 3 years ago..he’s sweet tho, so he deserves it. My current husband doesn’t eat lunch (or breakfast!) so I’m off the hook. I do fix the coffee and set the timer the night before for him tho.
    And in return he brings me a cup of coffee in bed e very morning when he leaves for work.
    He’s so SWEET!

  12. cherann

    That was really quite sweet. Especially because you’ve been married for 16 years!
    As for the BJ– gotta do that at least twice a year too right?? Just to tantalize him. 😉

  13. Danielle

    I’m right there with you. I find that it is the hard times that make my marriage strongest. They really test us as a couple. During the east times it’s a lot easier to forget that he’s even there.
    I love that you no longer get up to make him breakfast. I’d have to stop reading this blog if you still did.
    I’m also glad that I’m not the only one to mention a “BJ” in my blog. My mom still yells at me for that!

  14. Jenny H.

    I love reading your blog. Our husbands are quite similar. It is nice to read about happy marriages. I know you guys are going through a tough time right now(bastard landlord), but I also now you will come through it just a little more in love than you were before.
    I wish you the best of luck in finding your new home. It will be okay.

  15. Karly

    I just have to ask. Was that a typo or did you really nickname your boobs “my bobs” because I thought it was a typo and then I thought “now, Karly, this is Y we are talking about here” and then I didn’t know. If you do call them Bob, why in the name of God would you choose to call them that?

  16. Y

    Yes, I called them My Bobs and thanks for bringing it up because I meant to link to the post which explains WHY I call them that.
    Basically, when my daughter was nursing, she called them BOBS. SHe would sceam “I WANT BOBS! BOBBBBBS!”

  17. Y

    My BFF Melly gave him that name and it’s a loooooong story (ok, not really, just kind of a boring story) but basically, after I had told her a story about my husband, she said “Put PigHunter on the phone.”
    And I laughed and laughed and have called him that ever since.

  18. Lena

    If you had spent the night before our Dream Date Saturday I totally would’ve covered your head in kisses in the morning.
    And then you could’ve made me a burrito. And then? Maybe we would’ve forgotten all about Deal or No Fucking Deal.

  19. Kait

    I don’t get kisses in the morning any more because I am usually in the shower when Rob runs out the door. But he does come to say that he’s going, and he does give me kisses other times, so that’s all good. And he’s pretty great when I wake him up in the middle of the night and make him snuggle with me! Hee!

  20. teachbroeck

    That post is why I LOVE reading your blog. REAL. FUNNY. and I feel like I was almost there in the kitchen watching ….until the BJ part then I shook myself back to my desk!

  21. BOSSY

    Bossy has these two friends who are married and when they decided to move out of the city and leave public transportation conveniences behind the wife said to the husband, “I’m never going to drive you to the airport, you know.” The husband said that was fine but he wanted to know why? “Because,” she said, “I’ll do it for a while but then I’ll eventually grow tired of it and then when I stop you’ll think I’ve fallen out of love with you.”

  22. Annie

    I too am a lucky woman. One of us always leaves before the other, and we never do it without giving or getting sleepy kisses and hugs. I never believe it existed until I met him…..

  23. Les~

    Y – awwwww, you guys are lucky to have never lost the “magic” after that many years of marriage! You’re truly blessed with him and your kids. My hubby works nights, so I’m always in bed (or sleepin’ on the couch) when he comes in from work. He always kisses me on the forehead and says “I love you, Mrs. F.” And, since he’s still sleeping when I leave in the a.m., I give him a kiss and tell him I love him back . . .
    The only time we cook for each other (yes! he cooks! Yaaaay!) is on Tuesdays or Saturdays, his days off. But, I did get a wild hair last night after my workout and made him a pot of spaghetti. I just now sent him a text message to let him know it’s in the fridge.
    Thanks as always — for making me smile and appreciate what a good man I have at home!

  24. Helen

    We just got told yesterday about our home being sold from under us, we are still like deer in a head light…..and I am still weeping and wailing and thinking that the ‘Lord’ and ‘Lady’ part after the Land…well that is crap. I am cheered though, at the idea that next week maybe I might get some kissin’ and some lovin’ and he would be giddy at a burrito for breakfast, hoorah! That WOULD be joy unexpected, I shall wait with baited breath, thankyou for some light at the the end of the tunnel. Helen.

  25. Rachael

    Awwe. I think it’s sweet. Every morning Adam kisses me goodbye and tells me he loves me. Sometimes I wake up for it, sometimes I sleep right through it.
    But I love it. 😀 😀 😀
    I’m glad to know that there really are positive loving marriages out there in the world!
    Hey, you should have an ASK Y post. “Everything you ever wanted to know about Y but got gas before you could ask.”. 😛

  26. Dee

    Awww… Love! You are a blessed woman, Y. You’ve got 3 beautiful kids and a man that loves you. So many people are jealous of you right now! And I just *KNOW* that this whole house thing is going to turn out for the best.
    Thanks for the chuckle… My day was driving me postal, so I really needed that!

  27. Amanda

    I am NOT a morning person, so when my hubby comes in to kiss me goodbye in the mornings I bite his head off, and roll the other way…this makes me rethink the way I act in the morning. It kinda shows I’m selfish when it comes to sleep. I’m usually a lurker on your site, I confess. Ok throw your stones now. Today I felt like I should comment though. I really enjoyed your blog. It was sweet, sexy, and funny all at the same time!

  28. MamaToo

    so funny, so real. I can totally relate to the morning experience – I’m half-awake when Mr. Kenobi is going off to work.
    I love making him breakfast/lunch in theory, y’know, showing I care, etc. But it’s early in the morning! So I buy him single-serve yogurts and put leftovers in little to-go boxes at night, and we both feel like we won. :)

  29. kirsten

    The sweetest and saddest thing I’ve read in a long time. And, girl, you always bring the funny (“Pretty Sweet Boinking”). That’s a given.
    Good things are totally coming your way. I just know they will.

  30. sarcastic journalist

    You know…think of combining the BJ with all that bean dip you buy. Don’t you have like $1000 worth of bean dip?
    Think of the fun! Pretend it is a burrito or a taco. A very lickable taco.

  31. SuzyQ

    lately Ej and I have been going thru a similiar transition. One day a few months back I realized the damn fool truly loved me, and no matter what wanted to be married to me. Almost 9 years of marraige and I FINALLY get it??? Then when I talked to him and apologized and told him how much I loved him and how sorry I was for always questioning things he got all confused. Suffice it to say I think our marraige is 100% better, Im not sure my husband notices a difference. Then again I am not sure he would tell me he noticed a difference unless it was because he was getting more/less BJ’s.
    Go figure!
    But yes happy marraiges exist IMO the key is WORK, and enjoy the times you dont have to!

  32. girlplease

    I totally get it. It took my husband to lose 2 major clients and for his business to nearly go under for him to realize what is important. It changed him for the better. Sometimes it takes a great tragedy to have people realize what is important. Us.

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