Niiiice Tans

My Christmas present from my mother was a printer/scanner. I hadn’t bothered to set it up until yesterday, which was probably good in the sense that I’m not sure I’ll ever get anything done around the house because SCANNING! OLD! PICTURES! IS! FUN!
Life before the scanner involved having to take an actual picture of a picture that I wanted to post online. That was very complicated and involved me having to upload and edit photos and so I only did it once in a great while when I really thought there was a picture the internet just HAD to see.
Now, if there is a picture I want to share with the World Wide Web, all I have to do is press the scan button and WHOOMP! There it is!
I’m so excited about my new scanner that my mouth is actually watering right now. And I’m not only excited for myself, I’m excited for all of YOU. Were it not for my new scanner, this would have only been something you saw in your dreams.

Ah, young PigHunter, surrounded by The Ladies.
I have no idea who the girl in blue pants sporting the camel toe is, but I think we can all agree that, clearly, she did not have killer dance aerobic moves. I mean, what’s with the FIST, lady? Seriously, why was she even trying?
I have to admit that I am extremely jealous that those girls had the privilege of dancing with my man pre-Pale-N-Hairy legs. Man, what I wouldn’t give to love up on those young, tan, hairless legs.
(p.s. THE SHORTS!)
Now, in the spirit of “being fair”…

That was me at around the same age as Young PigHunter (15, to be exact.)
Notice that unlike my future husband, I am not surrounded by The Gentlemen. That is because I was a virtuous young woman who loved The Lord and also her foam, overnight rollers.
So, while Young PigHunter was living a life a sin, (I dare you to try to convince me that dancing in THOSE SHORTS in front of hornay young wimmins isn’t a sin!) Young Y was at home, putting rollers in her hair, while singing songs about how great God is.
The funny thing is that it would only be 2 years after that picture of my self was taken that PigHunter would fall madly in love with me and we’d be having our own little “Dance Parties” in the back of his blue Chevy Blazer.
(Up next on The Scanner: Blonde Me. Or maybe Skinny Me in a Leather Jacket)

42 thoughts on “Niiiice Tans

  1. Kristie

    Have I mentioned lately that you completely crack me up????
    And I must say, I’m insanely jealous, as when I was fifteen, my hair was much too short for the pink foam rollers. Instead, I had the tragic Dorothy Hamill bob that I somehow convinced myself would look good cut into feathered layers.
    I’m still a little embarrassed and traumatized by my own total lack of fashion.

  2. Della

    At 15, I had huge glasses, braces, huge hair, and no boobs. (I still have no boobs, but some men have realized that is ok! and the braces and glasses are gone, thank goodness!)So I was never surrounded by The Gentlemen, either, though it had nothing to do with sin!
    I’m looking forward to seeing more!
    I have a scanner at work, I just keep forgetting to bring in pictures to scan, but will soon, especially now that you are insipring me to post some gawky teenage pics of my own….
    I do have one already posted…if you go to Pictures of Della on my site….this was, horrifyingly enough, the BEST picture of me as a teenager…

  3. Della

    whoops…I was wrong…it’s in my Daily Glimpse pictures…sorry…I know how disappointed you’d be if you couldn’t see it! 😉

  4. Brandi

    The fist girls look like they are doing the Pee-Wee Herman and Rainbow Shirt looks like she is just hoping against hope that PigHunter will ask her to dance.

  5. LTG

    You are a frickin’ riot, girl. I can hardly wait to see what you have coming next in the old pix stash.
    My question is – where was this fist dancing taking place? Is that some kind of hideous church basement? Do I detect brown shag carpet? Cheap, dark wood paneling? Is that pink flowery paper thing hanging limply on the pole some sort of festive decoration? We need context!

  6. Y

    LTG, you have no idea how much I love that you noticed the “decoration.”
    It was at PigHunter’s house, while his mom was at work, I’m sure. And I like to think that PigHunter is the one who put it up, hoping The Ladies would notice his “creative side” so that maybe they would, you know, rub their camel toe on his leg or something sweet like that.

  7. Marmite Breath

    OMG! Tony was HAWT!!!! If only cell phones had been around, you could have sent him texts that said things like, “ru sur u want 2 b wit thos grls when i can gve u my virtuous luv.”
    No, you totally wouldn’t abbreviate virtuous.
    And it was with great pleasure that I noticed the updated sidebar!! Squeeeeeee!!!!

  8. Beth F.

    WOW! I never thought I would be so excited about someone else getting a new scanner.
    But please, no more camel toes. That one is large enough to last a lifetime. Talk about PAIN.
    And you were just cute, I want to PINCH YOUR CHEEKS.

  9. demondoll

    Pighunter also has Fists of Fury, but I didn’t notice as I was distracted by the shorts :-)
    You are too adorable. I also spent much time on my hair- to avoid staring at my braces!

  10. Tuesday

    His shorts are priceless.
    When I saw your picture yu looked so familiar, actually I am remembering seeing a picture of your son. The oldest looks JUST LIKE YOU at 15!

  11. Julianna

    That is SO awesome. Today I thought about telling the whole “why I am phobic of birthday parties” story for the birthday, but elected to not do so because I need to properly prepare via using old photos. Because I was totally naked in front of the class. Almost. And it was scarring. And funny.
    I love your scanner! (but not as much as I love you.)

  12. Lisa

    OH heavens, my hubby has some pics of himself in shorts like that!! (Only my hubby has the knee high tube socks that set the shorts and legs off so nicely.)
    He looks so cute and ernest, trying to learn the fist dance!
    You make me laugh….thanks!

  13. Laurie

    Ok….take one TIRED bitch (that’d be me), one SHIT ass day (um…today) and picture me SAD and wanting to cry and then I come over here and see the SHORTS and GOD….the camel toe.
    I have laughed.
    Thank you.

  14. The Real Kyla

    OMFG Y! (That’s alot of letters!) I thought the post was funny…but then I clicked on the “dance party” link and just about peed myself. Oh…my…you SLAY me. Thanks. Wow. Goooood stuff.

  15. Lena

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!
    I know it’s a party because of the ONE LONE DECORATION on the beam. Par. Tay.
    Those shorts = Satan. Ob-vi-ous-ly.

  16. trish

    Denny Theriot, that’s it! I knew he looked like him, but I couldn’t remember the guy’s name. Those girls in the picture need some Solid Gold Dancer outfits. LOL
    Although the chick on the right definitely looks like she secretly smoked in the bathroom and eventually drove a Trans Am. I bet she even listened to AC/DC. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course. I have been on the highway to hell since junior high.

  17. Maria

    I find “Whoomp” almost as funny as those shorts.
    Was that a street dance? The pink bow looks like it is on a light poll.

  18. Mamalee

    I love those pics!
    And I must say… I love your bangs. Nice work there! (I do remember you posting about your bangs in prior posts!)
    LMAO

  19. Stephanie

    Rather than dancing, the people in the corner look to me like they are having a rock-paper-scissors tournament. And PigHunter totally wants to join in! (Girl in rainbow shirt looks on knowing she would have thrown “paper” and totally kicked their asses.)

  20. Michelle

    OMG..I am so sorry T i can’t stop laughing right now…OMG…OMG …the chicken dance is off…that is too funny…and those leggggssss gotta love’um he was the man…I’m sure it was becasue of the Dove shorts?????Remember those? Stipped or one side blue one side white and the reverse on the back…..those were the days! Yvonne gotta love the hair….OMG i had the same hair style beehive aqua net and the curved like bangs….looking hot!! You guys are great thanks for sharing…..brave!

  21. metalia

    OMG. That is an assault on my eyes…and I love it.
    Also? The situation with that girl’s pants is way beyond camel toe territory; it’s, like, hippo toe, or something.

  22. Jamie

    You’re KILLING me over here!!! Snort!!!
    I want to shout CAMEL TOE! But I’m at work. Cough.
    You are a real cutie. And PigHunter is stylin’ in those shorts.
    More scanned tan! More scanned tan! Tee hee.

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