The Dance of Dirty.

On Wednesday night, whilst doing the aerobic dirty dance, The Aerobic Dance Instructor gave me the ultimate compliment.
So perfect, Y. I must take picture because it’s so perfect.”
I believed her when she said it and left the class swollen with pride and cockiness. I came home and told Tony “I think my instructor REALLY loves having me in her class, because I keep up with her and know all the moves.”
Ummm…
After watching myself do The Dirty Dance on video, I’m PRETTY DAMN SURE that her compliment wasn’t sincere and that she was secretly mocking me, knowing that compliments only encourage me to “try even harder” and “take the dance even more seriously than I already do, which TRUST ME, is VERY seriously.”
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I wish I could tell you that “Haha, I just have fun with it and don’t take it seriously at all.” But, the faces that I make whilst spanking the air would prove that to be A LIE.
LIIIIIEEEEEEESSSSS.
(There may be a subliminal message hidden somewhere in the video and that subliminal message may very well be “Look! I wasn’t lying when I said that I gained 10 pounds back, except it was actually TWELVE POUNDS, but hey, I’ve lost 5 of the twelve, thank you Aerobic Dancing.)

82 thoughts on “The Dance of Dirty.

  1. 20%ie

    I think you look fabulous. We are all our own worst critics. I’m with your instructor: you are “so perfect”!

  2. Tartine

    Y, that is awesome! I don’t think your teacher was mocking you. That looked great to me! Certainly looked about 100 times better than I could have done. You are so cute!

  3. Itchy

    I don’t think for a minute your instructor was mocking you. Now, that’s not to say that I wouldn’t be thinking the same thing. I think everyone’s mocking me. You’re mocking me at this very moment, I’m sure of it. But I feel certain that your instructor was not. She was being sincere. And so am I when I say you ARE the Dancing Queen.

  4. Mamacita

    I want you to be my neighbor so badly. It’s not fair that you aren’t. Not fair, not fair, not fair!!!!
    Because you are just the coolest and greatest person in the world.

  5. She

    That was priceless. The look of your face after the dance was great. It was a look of “omg i can’t believe i just did that and am about to post it on the net for all of mankind to see” ha ha. I can say one thing, you’ve got balls. You definately won’t see me posting any dance videos anytime soon. I wouldn’t worry about your skills, because you’ve got more skills than me, that is for sure. I’m as stiff as a board when it comes to dancing.

  6. Lessa

    OMG. if you were my neighbor i would TOTALLY go to Aerobic Dancing with you, and the mocking would be ALL DIRECTED at MY fat ass, because you? Oh you are PERFECT. Joo got RHYTHM, babe!
    And balls. I’d never video me! hah! and giving my son some ‘dance moves’ for the Homecoming Dance tomorrow – he told me “…mom? don’t ever dance again.” harumph.

  7. Cheryl

    Dude, that video was 15 different kinds of awesome. You’re great! And I loved the ending close-up of your boob, it made my day.
    If you wanna be like me and look like an actual idiot while dancing, throw in a couple of closed-eye lip bites and hands-in-the-air “WHOOO!”s. Because that brings it to a whole nother level, believe me.

  8. Laura

    Oddly enough, this is totally something I would do. However, you do it much better. I break out in outdated crazy dance moves while threatening to chaperone my kids dances. I like to scare them like that.
    You, however…………not scary. You move great but the fact that you videod it and looked kind of serious then broke up laughing was seriously entertaining.
    I did however hope for a side view to see how you were doing that “roll” thing so maybe I could try that one out on my kids too.

  9. Shannon

    You ROCK! First because you go to aerobic dance and you love it and second because you share your aerobic dance with the world! Keep smiling – it has been an inspiration to me.

  10. Cheryl in Missouri

    OMG Y! That was awesome! I don’t think your teacher is mocking you either. I loved the look on your face at the end….how funny was that! This Cheryl doesn’t do the finger in the air…I do the raised arm with a fist in the air to rock music (and get teased about it).

  11. Ombra

    First of all, your Alpha Mom T is amazing. Second of all, you are the cutest lady I have ever seen in my whole effing life. Cute! (and sexay!)

  12. Katie

    Wow! I hate to repeat everyone else but you are an awesome dancer! I’m so jealous, I move like the poor little white girl that can’t dance. But maybe not as dorky as Ellen from Seinfeld.

  13. Annie

    That was the best thing I have ever seen. You have joy in you, your blog has the right name. Even when you feel like shit about yourself, the joy is there, waiting to explode all over your readers ! You are the best, I love what you write and your honesty. I want you to be MY neighbor!
    xoxo

  14. lei

    im new to your blog and i must say you have brought me so much happiness in these past few weeks with your hilarious and swet entries. anyway, on the dirty dancing-YOU ARE TOO CUTE FOR WORDS!
    love the part where you were like “time out”.

  15. Flipp-ay

    Too funny. That was great. And your teacher, she no mock. If you were on So You Think You Can Dance, they’d tell you that you were “the shit!”.

  16. girlplease

    fuck for some reason it won’t play. i just get the quicktime logo.
    i’m sure you’re fabulous. reason why i want to come on out there and shake a groove with you. we can be fly girls–better than jblo

  17. starrynite

    That is so great. I am tempted to watch it repeatedly and study the moves so I can look as cool as you, cos seriously, you got tha moves!!!
    Love it love it love it. Right, am seriously going to look into finding an aerobic dance class near me now!
    You are so great.

  18. Scoot

    That was awesome. You move so smoothly, kinda like how I think I can move, when in reality I just look like I’m trying too hard. I think about you and your Aerobic Dance class every time I go to step aerobics, because I wish my gym was as cool as yours. :)

  19. RC's Girl

    You totally rocked that!! You are the reason I do not take those classes. There is no way I could like anything but a monkey on crack if I tried that. And if I stood next to you, well, I’d look even worse. You are awesome.

  20. Cassie

    That was AWESOME! You can really move — I don’t think your instructor was mocking you at all.
    This is my first time leaving a comment on your blog, but I’ve been reading you for awhile, and I love you. I seriously, seriously love you.

  21. Bunny

    Y, I LOVE you! You just made my day and made me feel like one of your friends that gets to see all the funny, cute and mildly embarassing parts of you. You are the best.

  22. danelle

    I love it! You are SO brave. And it is SO PERFECT. But I know you, and I give this post 10..mayber 12 hours land then it will just dissaaaapppear….

  23. Abra Leah

    Rockin!
    My gym only offers salsa and hiphop. I totally suck and both but still go just to subject myself to humiliation each time. You should TEACH aerobic dance!

  24. velocibadgergirl

    Dude…I thought I loved you before, but until I saw that video, I did not know the meaning of blawg love.
    You are SO. FLIPPING. CUTE.
    And you look like you’d be so much fun to hang out with, too. Rock on with your dirty self!

  25. DeeDee

    that wasn’t actually that bad – okay, it wasn’t picture perfect – but you really weren’t that bad – and you made me smile – a big smile after a long week – thanks for sharing and being vulnerable and real with us all out here on the web – smiles :)
    i love your blog – you on my top five list – thanks for being you!!!!

  26. a Random Person

    man, woman! (there’s a saying for you) you’re so harsh on yourself! I absolutely don’t think your teacher was being mocking or anything. I think that was awesome, and looked so fun.
    Maybe your readers shouldn’t be buying you your strippa pole JUST yet, but ask yourself: did you REALLY want your readers to buy you a stripper pole?

  27. laura

    If I tried to do that, I’d probably sprain something. If they had that kind of class at my gym, I’d be like “Haha look at the stoopids dancing like they’re all sexy” but I’d secretly be jealous of them, from atop my perch on the inane elliptical, because it looks like so much fun.
    Please post a dancing clip at least once a week. k thx.

  28. Brandi

    Y- My computer sucks and it’s taking a long time to load this video…I am so pissed because I am dying to see what this dirty dance is all about…LOL
    Congrats on your weight loss…I think you look great!

  29. jenny

    hey, i’m writing from the hospital. i tried your dance moves and i am in traction. i’m typing this with a pencil in my mouth so if there are typos that’s why. i’m also silly. and joking. and cute shirt. and holy maracas! did i spell that right? i thought mine were ginormous. ok well they are…mine are bigger than yours. so i win that contest but how about that wall hanging L thing. that rocks. and your living room looks great. gabby was sleeping? lol. just kidding. love ya like anotha motha. i don’t really but i couldn’t think of a rhyme with sister that didn’t include blister. mwah!

  30. Brandi

    O.K. I finally got to see it. You are soooo hard on yourself… Your instructor was telling the truth, Ms. Dir-tay! Although I must admit, the look on your face while air spanking is priceless!!!

  31. KK

    Y… Did you see that comment up there from DGM!?! He said he’d “hit it”… I would totally let him too… No, really– I would!!
    Oh- right enough about DGM.. back to you since it is your blog and all.
    Girrrrlllll… you got SOME moves!! Tony must be lovin’ you!! I only wish I had teh courage to move like that– specially all over the net– you got it goin’ on girlfriend!! Love the dance- but I love the shirt more!! Where can I get one!?!

  32. Julie

    You? You are completely adorable. The expressions on your face are priceless. No wonder the Pighunter loves you so.

  33. Lily T

    Wow! You get tons of comments. Normally I read them all before I comment, but that will take me all day!
    I think you’re a wonderful dancer! So sexy! I’ve been doing a 50-minute aerobic dance tape that is divided in 10-minute segments of different dance types. The latin segment is nearly impossible for me to do, because I am unable to roll my pelvis. My sister says it is because I am not letting go of my inhibitions. I think I lack cooridnation. I think it takes a lot of skill to dance sexy like you.

  34. ben

    That was fucking awesome and you are awesomer. Totally made my day (and that’s good, cuz I was off to a lousy start, and now I’ll have a little smile for the rest of the day)
    Thank you. Seriously.

  35. Joy

    OMGosh! Y! Looks like you have a huge fan base! I think you oughta start an online Dirty Dance CLASS!! Because I am so backwards and clumsy that I would NEVER do that in a class, much less in the privacy of Internet! But I would like to learn! ;-)

  36. Dawn

    Awesome dirty dancing skills you got there girl!!
    I loved the “time out” but what I loved the MOST was your so cute little giggle at the end, it cracked me up!! It just reaked of your fantasic, light hearted and youthful personality.
    You rock!! I would love to take some dance classes. I have always said that I would love to learn salsa dancing……..the dirty kind where you grind all over you partner.
    You might give me the inspiration to bite the bullet and sign up for some classes.
    Thanks for the great video.

  37. Caitlin

    You are great. Seriously. I’ve had 10 years of professional dance training and I could never bring myself to show off “my moves” to people who weren’t in my classes with me. Keep it up!

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