What can I say? I’m a genuis.
A genius who is terrified of spiders because did you know they can JUMP AT YOU?
(Also? A genuis who uses Aussie hairspray. Keep your judgements to yourself, it’s cheap and it smells like candy. What more could one ask for in a hairspray?)
I aint even TRYING to get jumped by spiders, so I strike first. And by “strike” obviously, I mean “douse with hairspray” and then “cover with a upside down candle until PigHunter gets home and picks it up for me because OH HELL NO I’M NOT TOUCHING IT.”
I can’t wait for him to come home and see what I’ve got for him today. I swear, everytime he gets home from work, it’s like it’s his birthday up in this house, because I always have something “special” waiting for him.
All men should be so lucky.