Love Thursday : My little teacher

Although my daughter is two years old, there are still moments in which I am overwhelmed by the reality that I actually have a daughter.
two.  (two)
Watching her walk around topless, covered in Elmo band aids and wearing a pink tutu this afternoon was one of those moments.
Raise your hand if you love to dance
I watch her prance around in her tutu, shoeless, shirtless, messy hair and I wonder what it must feel like to be so carefree, so innocent, so completely free to be who she is.
And I start to cry. Because I know that life isn’t always going to be like this for her. She’ll go through hard times, people will hurt her. She’ll experience pain. I know that one day, she’ll become aware of her body and how it compares to the bodies of other girls. Maybe she’ll hate it, just like I did, like I still do. I hope that she doesn’t, I hope that I can teach her from my mistakes, that I can be honest with her about my experience and that from me, she’ll learn that it’s a waste of time, energy and of your life to hate your body. I will teach her to love herself, to be proud of herself, to take care of her body and always be kind to it. To never waste a second hating it, for it is the vehicle in which she can do and accomplish whatever it is that she so desires in her life. The one and only life that she’ll ever have.
As I watched my precious daughter twirling around in her pink tutu,
I wished someone had taught me those things when I was growing up. I wished that someone had sat me down when I was starving myself and told me that I didn’t need to do that because I was beautiful the way that I was. I wish my mother would have told me that I mattered too much to the world to inflict abuse upon myself.
I hope you dance
In that moment I realized that the words that I needed to hear my entire life had just been spoken to me through my beautiful daughter.
And in that moment, I realized, although I am her mother and it is my job to teach her about life, she is my teacher as well.
Love yourself mom, because a little bit of you lives in me.
And I used to say that I didn’t want a girl. God, I had no idea what I was missing without her in my life.

53 thoughts on “Love Thursday : My little teacher

  1. Laura

    Awwww, I love Tutu’s. That’s a great shot. She looks adorable.
    I remember when my kids were that age and they lovedddddd bandaids…..
    Time sure flies, if you’re like me soon you will move beyond being amazed that you have a girl and will be amazed that she’s in High School! I feel that way about my oldest, wasn’t he just two and running around in Barney Underwear?

  2. Itchy

    The pictures are beautiful…you take wonderful pictures of your children. But your words are even more so…thank you for sharing so much with us.

  3. Fold My Laundry Please

    Those pictures are adorable! We prefer Dora the Explorer band-aids in our house, though!
    I used to tell myself that I wanted just boys, too. Then I had my little girl and she is the sweetest thing! Her brothers adore her and she has Daddy wrapped around her little finger. She is only 13 months old, but whenever she gets new clothes, she follows us around carrying them and whining until we put them on her. Then she prances around in front of us modeling her new outfit! Who knew I wouldn’t be able to live without that?

  4. DebbieS

    Gorgeous pictures. Ever thought about doing photography as a business? I’d hire you to take my daughter’s pictures!!
    She is too precious, and you are a great mom for appreciating what you have to teach each other.

  5. Rachel

    Wow, that totally made me cry. As the mother of 3 girls, I go through that myself. Those pictures are wonderful.
    Right now, my stepdaughter has quite the obsession with band-aids (she’s 3) and puts them on all her imaginary boo-boos.

  6. Claire

    That was so beautiful. Thank you. I started crying at work. I think one of the best ways to teach her to love her body is by loving yours. I remember hearing my mom tell me “I hate my knees” “I hate my jiggly thighs” it is those same things in myself I hate, those things that look so much like my mom. You are so beautiful.

  7. Becca

    That was absolutely beautiful, and so touching. I saw your post yesterday, and I am thrilled that you decided to put the pictures back up. What a beautiful moment!

  8. Melody

    That is just beautiful Y. That last picture is just breathtaking and puts everything into the world in perspective.

  9. RSM

    Hey Veronica,
    It’s incredible the effects that parents have on their children, isn’t it? Like yours obviously called you an I-D-I-O-T way too often. What a shame.
    Y,
    Your pictures are incredible.

  10. Lessa

    Beautiful, Y! I’m so glad you reposted this. Your daughter clearly gets, and will continue to get, her beauty and strength from her momma. She’s one very lucky little girl.

  11. pookie

    What is it with people? Heaven forbid you write your TRUE feelings…cause then “they” bite you in the ass days later.
    No worries Y, us SMART people get that this is YOUR web journal. (Sure we can all read it, but it’s yours.) Don’t let idiots stop you from writing the truth.
    BTW, Your daughter…SUPER CUTE!

  12. Bunny

    OMG, Y. That is beautiful. I have a doughter now after having a son and I too hope to teach her the things you described. What a beautiful little girl, and what beautiful things she has to teach.

  13. Stacey

    The precious pictures and your beautiful words? Perfection.
    Wanna drive to Missouri and take some pictures of my daughter? I just don’t have your camera skills.

  14. Jeanette

    Not much to say here except my daughter has inspired similar thoughts in me (my ‘baby’ is 18 now!). Also, I wonder if you know just how beautiful these pictures of her are. Truly artistic quality.

  15. ycry

    Why don’t you quit blathering all the time about how fucking fat you are and JUST DO SOMETHING about it?
    I have never seen such a whining baby in all my life.

  16. Paula

    I thought of your post last night as I tucked my 9 yr old son in bed. He confided that being a kid is hard. I told him to always believe that times will be better, to know that things work out, that what you are going through at any moment is not the end, that he is never alone because daddy and mommy and grandparents and aunts and uncles and our friends are loving and praying for him at all times. As I walked down the stairs, I thought, “Why don’t I remember all that when I am going through hard times?”
    Kids are a reminder of all that is good in our lives – even when I want to ground him until he is 21!

  17. kristin

    Y, I am so happy to see that you’re not letting the bastards get you down. That little girl is a beautiful miracle, and so is the journey you are sharing with us all the time. I am so grateful for it and the lessons you are helping me learn right along with you.
    Remember to focus on the positive things being said here and not the very few shitty, jealous, petty, bullshit things. :)
    You are totally awesome, dude.

  18. ephelba

    I’m so pleased to see the pictures back up. My husband was reading over my shoulder when you posted the first time, and he commented on what a cute picture it was. We talked about your troubles with posting it over dinner last night. I still think whatever you had decided would be the right thing for you, but I’m pleased to see the pictures back because they are gorgeous.
    Also, I know from experience that ugly comments hurt, but I hope you feel the love from all the other ones. Some people just don’t get it.

  19. Dawn

    Your photos are always so great. Your daughter is so lucky to have you as her mom and you’re so lucky to have her. Those two truths can really make life alot better. Thank you for this post. =)

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