Titles are for people who are not pissed off.

A few weeks ago, I had blood tests done and also had x-rays taken of my lower back.
(Oh my God. I’m writing about blood tests. How lame! And boring!)
I hadn’t heard anything from my doctor, so I called last week and left several messages for him. He never did call me back, but on Saturday, there was an envelope in the mail from my doctor that contained the results of my blood work.

Look! My thryroid is normal! Awesome! But Oh No! My iron serum is low and I need extra iron! Boo! But seriously, folks, how cool is my doctor? All scribbling shit that I do not understand down on a piece of paper on mailing it to me!
He’s SO cool, that I think I want to punch him in the neck! Repeatedly!
What the hell does “low iron serum” even mean? Does that explain why I’m lathargic? Does that explain why I have no energy to exercise? Does that explain why my leg is going numb at night? Does that explain why I feel like I’m dying at night because my heart starts racing and I feel like I can’t catch my breath?
And how much “extra iron” should I be taking exactly?
I remember the good ol’ days when he used to pick up the phone and call me to discuss things like “test results.”
I called to “leave a message” for him (translation: GO ALL LATINA ON HIM.) but haha, he’s out of the office for two weeks. Do I need to tell you that I’m pissed off? Because I’m pissed off.
(Which is sad because today is Ethan’s birthday and I had planned on writing a beautiful, graphic, hilarious recap of the day he was born but instead, I sit here, angry, bitter and fighting violent urges. Maybe later.)

31 thoughts on “Titles are for people who are not pissed off.

  1. buzz

    Just what I needed. Yet another reason to hate doctors. It’s like they have completely forgotten what it’s like to be, well, human! Ok, maybe not ALL doctors but certainly….oh the hell with that! YES! ALL doctors!!
    Damn doctors!
    Great, now I’m all pissy!

  2. Melody

    SO freaking awesome that he took the time to, instead of returning your phone calls and explaining this to you- or even type up a letter explaining what this means, that he told his secretary “here, mail this” thinking that would appease you. Sooo professional.

  3. Kristin

    Do you think that he put the wrong paper in the envelop? Because, like, who mails out that kind of shit? If you need iron, how much? If you thyroid is fine, is it low fine or really fine? Does he really want you to take a tire iron to the hood of his car or no?
    Is there some nurse somewhere in his office who can help?

  4. RachelS

    Wow, professionalism at it’s finest. My doctor always tells me that if I haven’t heard from his office in two weeks to call and get my results. Couldn’t they just call? Wouldn’t that be so much faster and easier? I’d say your doctor definately deserves a punch in the neck.

  5. jayne d'Arcy

    It’s becoming common practice for doctors and labs to send you your test results. That hand-writing, btw, may be the lab’s and not your doctor’s. What I’ve run into lately is that my test results get sent to me, not the doc. I have to call him, take them in, and get them interpreted.
    If you’re interested, from someone who has “low iron serum” this means yes that it can cause all the symptoms you have. You have low iron, aka, anemia. If you’re having a breathing problem at night AND you have anemia, your red blood cells are thin and are not carrying enough oxygen to your lungs. Generally, a 1000mcg daily iron supplement will remedy the situation. It will also help to boost your energy as well. Iron rich foods also help (these are beef, liver, and dark green veggies – I hate liver, so I compensate by daily broccoli).
    If you need a supplement, which you most likely do, there are two types of iron supplements – one is sulfate based and CAN give you diarrhea if you’re prone to tummy trouble or tummy stress. Consult with the pharmacist and ask for the iron supplement that won’t kill the stomach.
    Multivitamins are not sufficient as an iron supplement. Depending on how low your iron serum is, your doc might suggest between 1000 to 1500mcg. If you’re good with your diet, you can taper off the supplements after a year.
    Moms over 30 often suffer from iron defficiency and don’t know it. It’s sometimes prescribed as post-partum depression. How do I know? Stupid doctor diagnosed ME with that once. Sorry man, never gave birth!

  6. Kathy

    He’s a man isn’t he. This is why I don’t go to men doctors. No offense to the good ones out there but once a Doctor told my mother her “symptoms” were “in her head”. She went to a woman Dr and found out she was pre-menupausal… not MENTAL. Doctors really blow sometimes.

  7. Dani

    Low iron could easily be the cause of your issues. Now, the only DOWNSIDE is that taking iron supplements, even the presciption ones are notoriously constipating. Like whoa, constipating. It’s worth it though!

  8. Hed

    What a pain! I would have liked to know how much iron I should be taking too! After all, you can overdose on the stuff!
    I guess in the mean time you could just up your high iron content foods like dark leafy greens, raisins, wheat, brown rice, and well… I know it’s nasty, but liver?

  9. danelle

    Iron supplements suck! Stained teeth, black poop, brown pee, heartburn, leg cramsp! Bulk up your iron rich foods so you don’t have to take them if at all possible.

  10. Sarah

    I completely understand the aggravation of the situation. I think we’re all mature enough individuals to realize that doctor’s usually have lots of patient’s (I didn’t say patience), but still, there’s that line that should distinguish us as a living breathing patient from just a case number.
    My endocrinologist (who’s treating me for thyroid cancer), went to Alaska on vacation, just as I’m about to have my Radioiodine Therapy. He passed my case off to someone I’ve never met, but yelled at on the phone, a lot. WTF?!
    *stomps off*

  11. desiree

    Muah ah ahhhhh
    I speak spanish but as a tiny little blonde there is no latinaness to rely on when I deal with the f**kwits that are my doctors.

  12. jonniker

    Your thyroid is in normal range, but it still, along with the iron, could be causing symptoms. I’m saying this only so that you can keep an eye on it and watch what it does for you. I doubt your doctor, flaming asshole that he is, would even think that, but it’s true.
    Many women function best in the 0-2 range of TSH, with 1-2 being best. I feel best with a 1.0, which is nearly 2 points below where you are – sub-clinical hypothyroidism can completely cause symptoms. Not in everyone mind you, but in many. And the latest research is indicating a 0-2 range TSH.
    For example, right now I have a 3.25 TSH and I’m having symptoms – pretty marked symptoms, actually. So, it’s possible.
    I’m a thyroid nut, as I’ve had a slew of health issues – crazy symptoms that are along the lines of yours – that I’ve been trying to work through for ages and ages, and I try so hard to save others from the same misery.

  13. Elizabeth

    What a crap-ass doctor. It is so hard to find a good one, what with the millions in one area! (especially if you live in a large city). Really, do they expect you to make appointments at 10 of them to see which one you like? The insurance would not cover any of that! I think some doctors know this, so they use it as an excuse to give you crappy service.
    Some places are so busy, they have no time to call people, but when you haven’t heard anything and you call up their office, someone should talk to you then about results, or call you back the next day. I had a PAP once and the results hadn’t come in the mail and no one had called, so I was getting worried. So I called. A week later, they sent me something in the mail! What a waste of my time worrying about it for no reason, when someone could have just looked in my chart and told me it was normal!
    **also, I would just like to say, that the LAB would never give recommendations on the results. MTs/CLSs are barred by the law from giving out and discussing results.

  14. nine

    dude. i am about ready to go all Latina on my doctor too – and i’m not even a Latina.
    i’ll tell you what though, i’ll hold your doctor down while you punch him in the neck and then we can reverse rolls on my doc’. whadda ya say?

  15. jen

    yeah, that’s complete bull.
    I await the entry when he comes back and returns your call. I have a feeling he won’t know what hit him.

  16. jojo

    Hi Y. I’m another long time lurking admirer. Once I had severely low iron levels following pregnancy and breastfeeding and my doctor gave me iron tablets which did absolutely nothing. i then went to a different doc who wasted no time whatsoever in giving me a course of iron injections (straight into the butt!!!) one a week over the period of a month. Man that made a difference and I was so glad I went for a second opinion so maybe you need to too (-: PS: LURVE your blog

  17. Zoot

    Dude. I freakin’ hate doctors. I went to a general practitioner one time and after testing my urine (I figured I had a UTI of some sort) he came into the room and said – INTO HIS DAMN RECORDER – “Patient K. M. has a bladder infection. Will prescribe antibiotic.” and handed me an Rx and WALKED OUT. He never actually spoke to ME – he spoke to the damn RECORDER.

  18. Oceanbug

    I am truly blown away, as always, with your photos!! Talk about talent Girrrrl you got it going on, you have the eye and talent to take killer pics. I think you need to enter more photo contests you can make some really good coin that way to.
    Oh, I hope you get the danm doc to explain those results to you, sheesh!

  19. Jennifer

    Ok you have an amazing talent! I am so amazed at your photos it’s not even funny :o) I have to ask what camera you have.. even though in my hands they’ll look like cheap disposable throw away pics.. God has truly given you a gift Y.

  20. girlplease

    commenting on the pool pic. congrats and see? you ARE a wonderful photographer. seriously, put a portfolio together and start bidding out for stock photography charges. if you need help, let me know.

  21. Painterbeachgirl

    You sound like me a year ago…low iron and heart racing, etc…I had thyroid checked, mri, all sorts of tests that came back negative…turns out it was anxiety and stress. I hate it when docs mail “un-decipherable” test results. AND when they dont call back.

  22. Amy S

    OK now that you have spent the money and time at a doctors office to find out that you need iron and you don’t have anything seriously wrong, you need to go to a CHIROPRACTOR. If you’re legs are still going numb, you have a pinched nerve in your spinal column or hip structure. I betcha its because of holding your sweet girl on your hip. that will knock your hips outta place real fast. It cost than a doctor visit, insurance should cover some of the cost and you will have immediate results.
    Good Luck.

  23. DeannaBanana

    Y? Your silence is disconcerting! Come see us soon, please? Hope all is well in your world, miss reading you!

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