The moves will live on. Oh yes, they will.

I was getting ready for Aerobic Dance class when a little voice reminded me of the sign I saw the last time that I was at the gym. The sign said “There will be a new class schedule as of June 1.” I thought I should call the gym to make sure they hadn’t gone and messed with the time of MY Class.
“Hi, this is The Greatest Aerobic Dancer your gym has ever known and I’m just calling to make sure that Aerobic Dance is still at 6:00.”
As she was giving me the answer to my question, the room started to spin, I felt dizzy.
“Anna… Russia… all summer… kickboxing instead…”
The room started spinning. I felt weak and dizzy. What? Huh? After a few minutes, the reality of what she had just said started to soak in.
OH MY GOD! MY AEROBIC DANCE INSTRUCTOR WENT TO RUSSIA! FOR THE ENTIRE SUMMER! WHICH MEANS NO MORE AEROBIC DANCE CLASS!
I know you probably think I’m being overly dramatic, but people! I live for The Aerobic Dance. The Aerobic Dance Floor is the one place in my life that I completely confident. And even when I’ve made mistakes, (which was HARDLY EVER) there’s no denying that was still pretty much the Greatest AD to have ever danced aerobicly.
And thanks to my instructor who just HAD to go “visit her son”(which, whatever lady.) THAT HAS ALL BEEN RIPPED AWAY FROM ME.
I guess deep down I always knew it wouldn’t last forever, I certainly didn’t expect for it to be taken away so soon, so suddenly. I’m going to need a few days to let the enormity of this continue to soak in.
Goodbye Aerobic Dance Class. How I’ve loved you. How I’ll miss you. Oh, dear GOD IN HEAVEN, how I’ll miss you. But! I will never forget you. I will always remember. ALWAYS.
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Long live The Monkey!

28 thoughts on “The moves will live on. Oh yes, they will.

  1. Kate

    Sorry your routine was broken by maternal love. I hope you find something just as meaningful to replace areobic dance.

  2. Katie

    ACK! This is the worst news ever! How could she do this to you?
    Kickboxing may be fun but it’s definitely not the Monkey.

  3. lastewie

    No no no no no no NOOOOO!!!
    No monkey movie. It’s not showing up! Argh! I wanna watch the monkey movie!
    Deep Breath
    So sorry about the aerobics! Maybe *you* should offer to teach it, hmmm?? I bet you’d be great at it.

  4. Beth

    I’m thinking that kickboxing, although certainly no direct substitute for the goodness that is aerobic dance, would come in handy when encountering inappropriate Kevin James lookalikes in the future. ;^)

  5. Me

    I think you ought to start your own class. I’d go to it. I’d much rather go to a class with an enthusiastic realistic looking woman up there than a 19 yr old bimbo who I think is secretly laughing at my big buttocks jiggling here and yon.

  6. Michelle

    Queen of The Aerobic Dance no more? Pshaw! You can always be Queen of Kickboxing too ya know!

  7. tonya cinnamon

    kick boxing you be great at too :)
    then you can lkearn to punch out creepy guys hehehe
    . back when your instructer comes back you can be queen again :)
    you still rule the gym Y …:D

  8. Me

    Um, bad news, Y.
    Since you posted yesterday about the pervie, now you keep having an ad showing for “sex offenders, find yours today!” over there — on the right. Along with an ad for bartending school and bad credit. I guess all those things are suggestive of weirdos with pickle cologne.

  9. Melanie Lynne Hauser

    As Ross said so memorably in “Friends,” – “You’re on a break!” So you can date other people, er, classes, and then get back together in the fall, can’t you?

  10. rose

    The aerobic dance posts are among the funniest things I’ve ever read. They are priceless.
    Try the kickboxing. It’s good.

  11. Lauren

    I know how you feel- my favorite hip hop class teacher suddenly left and went to Japan for 6 months. Why are they all leaving the country??

  12. ben

    It’s not like Russia is that far away. Can you get some cheap-ass air fare and go stalk your instructor for a bit? Bet you can get her to come back early.

  13. dana michelle

    Offer to teach the class for the summer. Just think! You could lose pounds/inches AND make money at the same time!
    And, best of all… you could stick it to that snotty little bee-yotch that dared to say that you were “doing it wrong.”
    I would definitely take your class if the commute wasn’t across the country;^} Just do it!!!

  14. Culotte

    You are the CUTEST, with your monkey moves. I mean, the aerobic dancing hotness.
    That clip totally made me want to bust out my Eric Nies tapes.
    ::blush::

  15. jen

    this makes MY heart ache. Did russian lady ever once consider YOUR FANS in this equation when she decided to bolt for the summer? Well, DID SHE?? she better be coming back with some seriously bold Russian moves come September. that’s all I gotta say about that.

  16. Beth

    Bummer Try Carmen Electra’s aerobic strip tease exercise DVD’s. Totally fun and your man will love it! The Hip hop one is a lot of work and probably what you are looking for. Plus you will have New moves in fall to impress the instructor. Good luck!

  17. Xdm

    Hey! Didn’t I see you on “So You Think You Can Dance?” Man, can’t believe you got cut. You were ROBBED!!!

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