Pretty much the dumbest thing I’ve ever written.

I’ve recently developed a serious problem.
I’ve become obsessed with fabric softener.
I’ve always had a crazy addiction to cleaning products that make my house smell good I’m the first one in line when there’s a new dish soap on the market. What? There’s a specific laundry detergent for COLD WATER WASHING? I’ll take 5! Those kinds of things make me happy. And kinda make my mouth water from excitement.
But this fabric softener thing. It’s starting to spin out of control. Everytime I go to Target, or to the grocery store, I start to think of The Liquid That Makes My Clothes Soft AND Smell Pretty. I have to fight urges to go unscrew caps and sniff the latest scents. I GET URGES, PEOPLE. Urges! I’ll tell myself things like “You do not need anymore! You have enough! Wait until you run out! Save your money for a Grilled Sourdough Burger!” But, I always end up in the damn fabric softner aisle, sniffing, dreaming of how awesome it would be to have sheets that smelled of orange blossoms (ORANGE BLOSSOMS! My mouth! It is watering again!)

I’m currently rotating between four FABULOUS scents.
My most recent find is the Gain Apple Mango. (Fruit scented fabric softner! Crazy, and yet, beautiful and totally awesome!) I wasn’t sure about fruit scented clothing, but I have to say, it smells pretty freaking GREAT.
My favorite scent BY FAR is the Simple Pleasures vanilla lavender. The smell is relaxing and yet so very exciting. In that “OMG. My sheets smell like pure heaven, I must roll around on them now!” kinda way.
As far as “smell” and “softness” goes (which, let’s face it, is the ENTIRE POINT of fabric softener) the Snuggle one sucks, But it’s pink, so I forgive it. The Downy with Fabreze is my least favorite. I had high hopes for that one, because hello? FABREEZE IS THE BOMB, but I was terribly disappointed when I used it.
(Ha! Ha! I just gave you a fabric softener REVIEW. How SICK is that?)
Um. Help?

57 thoughts on “Pretty much the dumbest thing I’ve ever written.

  1. The Other Laurie

    Holy shit, woman…..we have the same obsession! Fabric softener!
    I can’t decide which is my favorite….
    Orange Blossom and Magnolia
    OR
    Water Lily and Jasmine.
    I’m so torn.
    Plus, I put TWO (COUNT ‘EM…TWO!!) dryer sheets…….always……..no exceptions!

  2. ben

    Since I switched over to Charlie’s soap, I don’t need fabric softener. Clothes are soft.
    I can’t smell, anyway, so I can’t tell you how they smell. But my family seems to like it.

  3. Jen

    LAVENDER VANILLA – OMG!!!
    It is the best fabric softener ever!! I get compliments on how “good I smell” and it’s really the FS.
    ps. it’s not sick it’s just really cool and damn at least you’re obsessed with clean good smelling stuff and not like star wars or something

  4. xtx

    i’ve been running a household for going on 17 years now and have never used a fabric softener.
    because of this entry, i will buy some this weekend.
    maybe you should go into fabric softener sales.

  5. Nina

    I have to have Downy. Doesn’t matter what “flavor” as long as it’s Downy. And I use the liquid, then the matching dryer sheets. My mother uses the cheapest and doesn’t understand my obsession. But my towels and sheets always smell better (and feel better) than her’s!

  6. jaime

    Also (cuz I can never finish a thought in one comment), I usually read you through bloglines, so I haven’t visited the site in a while. It is BEE-YOU-TIFUL! I really like the color scheme and the falling flowers.

  7. Kristie

    OK, I must confess. I only recently started using fabric softener, based on the recommendation of a friend, whose jeans I borrowed, and they smelled so good! So while I am now buying the same FS she uses, and using the FS, my clothes don’t smell as good as hers. What am I doing wrong? To be honest, I think I don’t quite have the hang of the rinse cycle. That’s when it goes in, right? When the water is low? Or high? I’m so confused, and don’t even have a moutain fresh scent to cheer me up. Advice? Opinions, oh FS-wise one?

  8. Rachel in AK

    Apple Mango Tango truly is Heaven Scent. (haha! sent, scent, get it?!)
    Anywho, love it and would drink it if it weren’t for all those toxins.

  9. Tabatha

    Gain soap, gain fabric softner and gain dryer sheets. Love the gain. BUT I do put my gain fabric softner in a Downy Ball. I love the Downy Ball.
    I get really irritated if smells don’t match. If I have the “clean linen” smelly plugin air thinger, then I want the clean linen carpet freshner, clean linen air spray, clean linen candles, etc etc. I have lost hours of my life in the air freshner aisle enraged because I can’t find all matching smells.
    It’s kind of the same thing, but not really.

  10. Y

    Annika! The horror!
    Kristie- My washer has a little dispenser so I just put it in when I put the detergent. HOWEVER, Downy sells these little balls that you can put the fs in and it will release the fs at just the right time. Seriously!

  11. Y

    Ha! Tabatha, you beat me to The Downy Ball.
    And girl, I’m so with you on the matching scents. I used to be that way, then I got lazy. And now,I kinda like the variety of scents.

  12. Elleana

    I sent my husband to the store to buy more fabric softener, and I figured he would come home with the basic Downy April Fresh. But, but! instead he came home with the Simple Pleasures one because he said it smelled so good and now he is totally a GOD to me! I knew I married him for a reason!
    And what detergent do you use? Because the right detergent and softener combination can just make your whole world pretty!

  13. chrissylas

    Dude Jen… the Star Wars crack hurts me deeply (much like my SW obsession hurts my wallet). That’s ok though…. my videogame obsession is much stronger than my SW one and at least you didn’t bust on that.
    Y, I want to come to your house. I bet it smells yummy… mine just smells like old apartment and even the febreze scent story doesn’t help sometimes :(

  14. Kimberly

    You can’t possibly be alone in your addiction. I mean, they MAKE all this yummy smelling stuff for people to buy it all! :) I personally love the Method Lavender stuff: the dish soap, floor soap, all-purpose wipes…They’re at Target too, the happiest place on earth. :)

  15. Anne Glamore

    I’m all about smells AND YET I only recently started using fabric softener. Rockstar Mommy got me started. Loving the Simple Pleasures, but now will be trying the others.
    With all these boys, you can never have too much good smelling stuff around.

  16. Sara

    The orange smell by Snuggles is not, I repeat, NOT anything special. In the dryer sheets at least.
    I’m with you on the vanilla lavender. It’s my fave, but I haven’t used it in over a year because I have to keep on trying out all of the other smells.

  17. Katie

    I can’t believe I’m de’lurking to say this but…
    Ooh I have the same addiction! I love the Simple Pleasures vanilla lavender! It makes my house smell gooooooooood! Of course, I like the Freeze too!
    Anyhow, just happy to know… I’m not the only one with this weird addictions… heh.

  18. Margaret

    OOOOH! Apple mango?! YUMMY! I am now regretting my recent april fresh downy purchase :(

  19. Stephanie

    Hi, just de-lurking to say that I still love the original Downy because my grandmother used to use it and her towels smelled the best.

  20. Jennifer

    I hear you on the fabric softener. There’s something about taking dirty clothes and making them all clean and yummy smelling again that makes me actually sorta like doing laundry.
    That Vanilla Lavender Downy sounds like it smells heavenly! Darn you, Proctor and Gamble, for continuing to do those awful tests on animals. http://www.pandgkills.com/facts/index.html I shall have to deprive myself of the Downy Simple Pleasures until I can enjoy it guilt-free, knowing that it’s not ‘Simple Tortures’ to the animals.
    ~Jennifer — tears in eyes, going off to hug her house bunny now

  21. Beth

    I love great-smelling products, so I can totally relate.
    I am also chuckling as I wonder what your menfolk think about their clothes smelling like fruit and vanilla and lavender. ;^)

  22. Mary

    Girl, you are NOT alone!
    I have met so many women who have this addiction.
    Some of my blog friends use UNscented products. That makes me shudder!
    I also LOVE the vanilla stuff.
    I LOVE to do my sheets in it!
    Very very good is the Tide with Downy in the scent,,,crap I forget the name. You cant find it everywhere and I always buy the Downy that matches too.
    My husband loves Mountain Spring but i am SO sick of it.
    I had already promised myself to get the mango stuff next time out and now I will!
    And Febreze makes air freshener and the linen scent is wonderful!

  23. jonniker

    I’m actually sitting here shaking my head in completely inappropriate FURY. Um, Clean Breeze? No one likes Downy Clean Fucking Breeze? The Greatest Fabric Softener Scent that EVER LIVED?
    And you people call yourselves SERIOUS FABRIC SOFTENER AFFICIONADOS? Pathetic. You don’t KNOW FABRIC SOFTENER.
    *rocks back and forth, clutching Clean Breeze-scented pillowcase*
    *drools a little*

  24. NYCrystal

    My mom does not dry her clothes in the dryer, but hangs them up to dry (for financial reasons). When in spring/summer she hangs them up outside and in winter or when cold or rainy she usually hangs them up inside (basement usually). AAANNNYYYwwways, the softener smells so much on her clothes…i guess it’s the fact that she hangs them up to dry because i use downy too and they definitely do not smell as “potent” as her clothes do.

  25. Fiona

    i’m hooked HOOKED i tell you on downy simple pleasures water lily and jasmine
    and we don’t get it here that often …. so when i find it i am the crazy woman standing there in the supermarket with my nose stuck in the bottle snifffffffffffffffffffffing on it!!!!
    just LOVE that stufffffffffffffff

  26. daniel

    Now I’m down with the cleaning products, lawd knows. But fabric softener? Nope. Never. I don’t even like dryer sheets so much…

  27. Melissa

    I don’t know names of the scents, just colors of bottles. I like the smell of the purple bottle & the green one for Snuggle & I like the purple Bounce. I also use two sheets in the dryer. I use the liquid when I hang out. The reason I don’t always use the liquid is because I don’t have a spot for liquid in my washer, like I did growing up with my parents, so that means I have to get to the washer when it goes into rinse. I tried the balls before, but for some reason, got away from it.

  28. ratty

    hrmm. i rinse my clothes in white vinegar.
    sometimes i use softener for towels and sheets. sometimes. i do use dryer sheets, though, ’cause i hate me some static cling.

  29. Steve T

    We only use fabric softener in our whites. The reason being is that fabric softener works by breaking down the fibers in the fabric, causing your clothes to slowly disintegrate over time.
    But I do love the smell of freshly-laundered tee shirts in the morning. Smells like… love. =)

  30. claudia

    Wow! It’s like im in the twilight zone. I feel a sense of belonging to everyone right now. I thought I was the only one with this obsession. I fell liberated! .. out of the closet!!! YES! (i just returned my downy febreez and asked my sister to pick up some of that heaven in a bottle you rave about.. gain. thank god she works at target, i need the discount on this matter). Totally awesome blog, Y.

  31. p

    Sorry to rain fabric softener hate on the parade – but I had to weigh in! All those chemicals! Ugh! I don’t think it can be good to have that against your skin all day — or in the case of Febreze, to breathe it in. I have to use All Free & Clear because I’m allergic to harsh cleaning chemicals anyway… no fs, it would make me break out. And I have to say I’ve never missed it! I smell like a human, not a mango or a flower. :) I think that’s the best smell of all.
    Oh yeah and the animal testing. Yipes!
    xoxo
    -P, apparently a hippie

  32. geeky

    that lavender vanilla downey smells so good, it makes me want to lick my clothes. i don’t care if it costs $500/bottle, it’s the only fabric softener i will buy.

  33. girl

    we have a bunch of different detergents for different things. I have Tide Cold Water or plain old Tide for regular clothes, All Free for skivvies and towels (I don’t like fabric softener on my towels b/c it makes them less absorbent), and Tide with April Soft Downy for the sheets. we also have some of the All Small & Mighty b/c it was on sale, but I don’t think we’ve used it yet. we don’t use separate fabric softener around here. I think it’s way too much of a pain in the ass to get up and put it in.

  34. Michelle

    I love fabric softener as well! Currently, I’m using Downy April Fresh (I think that’s what it’s called). Plain, but reliable!
    When I sometimes use homemade soap in my laundry (Patchluli & Sandalwood, sometimes Lavender!!), I won’t use fabric softener. Now THAT is fabulous!

  35. trac

    Delurking to say that I am also a fabric softener whore.
    I do love the scent in the house when I have clothes drying.
    Gain original fabric softener is in my top 2, next to old fashioned downey.
    But, the Simple Pleasures? OMIGOD.
    Fabulous.

  36. Heather B.

    as soon as I saw the words “fabric softner” I immediately thought of my lavendar vanilla smelling self. It is so freaking yummy. The smell stays on your clothes for days. I have literally wrapped myself in my fresh sheets because it’s HEAVENLY.
    Now, I am off to sniff my shirt some more. mmmm.

  37. Elleoz

    This is my first time on your blog and OMG! How do I love thee! A woman after my own heart!
    While I am not as obsessed you some of you regarding fabric softner, I do LOVE me some good smelling clothes. After years of rarely using FS I started using it again. I love the way it smells. I will have to try out the Lavender Simple Pleasures and the Green Apple one. They sound heavenly. Definately liquid crack for the house cleaning soul.
    I have a question though. Other than static cling, what is the point of fabric softner and dryer sheets?

  38. trish

    OK there’s more to it than just the fabric softener. You have to use Tide Clean Breeze detergent to get the FULL EFFECTS of the Downy Simple Pleasures lavender/vanilla FS. My sister and I have done the research and the clothes smell more lavendery/vanilley with that detergent. Now who’s obsessed? ha!

  39. paige

    I have to stick mostly with Downy, since my kids all have sensitive skin and eczema and Downy is the FS they react with least.
    Two of my kids are also stinky teenagers and my husband rides and races bikes. The Febreeze rules in our house and Downy with Febreeze rules even more. It’s not my favorite scent but it takes the stink right out of the clothes, thank goodness.
    Aren’t you glad to know you’re not the only one with this obsession? I was buying laundry stuff with the hubby recently and we spent 20 minutes on the laundry aisle, with me arguing that yes, detergent x and fabric softener x were cheaper…but they make the kids break out in hives and scaly, itchy skin…plus, they don’t smell very good.
    I won.

  40. Laura

    Not sure if you’re aware (I wasn’t until 2 yrs ago) that fabric softener weakens your clothing!! All of us also have sensitive skin and since cutting out fabric softener our problems have almost totally gone away! I thought my husband was playing me for a fool so I snuck some in with a load of whites and within a couple of days he was having issues in the ‘manly man’ department from the load of underwear I washed with FS! We found that replacing that with vinegar instead still leaves clothes pretty soft without the irritation or the weakened fabric and clothes last longer! Vinegar also locks in colors so they don’t fade as badly!

  41. Erin

    I need some new FS, so thank you for the recommendations. Right now I am using the FS sheets, which, I must say, aren’t so great.
    I just posted on my own blog last week about my obsession with finding linen spray for my bed sheets. I feel you on this one.

  42. girl

    I just saw on the TV today that the newest scent of Downy Simple Pleasures is none other than “Magnolia Orange Blossom.” I do believe that they made that one just for you, Y.

  43. vertyeux

    I’m glad I’m not the only FS weirdo. I love the vanilla smelling one, but have never bought it because I was afraid that the smell would be “lost” or smell different against all the other stuff (I try my best to have all the same scents for the detergent, clorox or clorox 2, fabric softener {always Downy, though different scents, usually the linen smelling one}, and dryer sheets {always Bounce, usually linen scent} and I even have those rubber/plastic pointy “dryer balls” that are supposed to make your clothes soft without the FS. If only they would make vanilla-lavender everything else – I would be in heaven!

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