This morning, at around 6am, I hear a the horn of a car go off about 6 times in a row. Two very long beeps, followed by 4 short ones.
My first thought was “Who in the hell thinks it’s ok to honk at 6 am? Do I need to go punch someone?”
But, I was willing to let it go because I was tired.
A few seconds later, MORE REPEATED HONKING. This time, I wasn’t going to let it go because whoever this asshole was had crossed “The Line.”
I don’t understand people who are too lazy to get out of the car and knock on the door. It’s acceptable sometimes. Like, if it’s raining, or if the person knows you’re on their way and you tell them “I’ll beep when I get there.” But most times, I think people who do that are just being lazy and rude. However, when you do that shit repeatedly at SIX IN THE FREAKING MORNING, you’re not only lazy and rude, you are also A BIG DICK! Congratulations!
I was seriously ready to kick some dick ass after having been woken up by an inconsiderate honker. I ran outside, found the Honking Offender, made eye contact, raised my hands up in the air in the “What in the HELL” position and screamed “Get out of YOUR CAR AND KNOCK, DAMMIT.”
Apparently, Dick Honker didn’t know who he was dealing with because instead of fearing me, she, ( and you’re not going to believe this) HONKED IN MY FACE. She looked right at me, laid her hand on the horn in dramatic “screw you!” fashion.
I can not tell you the rage that burned inside of me. My first reaction was to run with my bra-less self and fight her!  But I had sleeping kids in the house and who runs to fight someone when they have little kids sleeping inside?

Just one more reason to LOVE this ‘hood of mine.
As if I needed Another.

26 thoughts on “HONK.

  1. Itchy

    OMG!!! What a dick! I’m afraid I would have thrown something at her…and then ran away. Because my sleeping doggies don’t need to see me getting my ass kicked by some early horn honking dick!

  2. clickmom

    Good for you for showing such restraint. I would have ended up using some bad language and then the husband would have been all up my ass about it.
    Next time jot down the license plate and call the cops. Not that they care or anything, but just for giggles.

  3. mikey

    Jeezus, I thought everyone had a cell phone.
    Did you see who she was waiting for? I’d go talk to them. If they’re dicks too, at least you can annoy them back.

  4. Amy

    I HATE the early morning honker. Who DOES that? It happens here, too, and I can’t understand it. People are LAME.
    But you? Extremely tough and scary.

  5. Y

    Thank you for recognizing that, Amy.
    And Mikey? They are new neighbors who are very annoying and who I am going to be calling the cops on all of the time.

  6. Hed

    Oh man. That reminds me of the time while we were still living in the really annoying yuppie apartment complex where they charged more than your typical mortgage for rent, and some idiot allowed their car alarm to go off for an entire hour and a half between 3 and 4 AM.
    We called management about it several times, and they said they couldn’t do anything because the car was locked, and apparently it was in a guest spot, so they had no idea who to contact.
    I ran down there after 40 minutes, and my husband had to stop me from taking the baseball bat. But I got the licence number!

  7. Nina

    Oh my god, don’t even get me started on neighbors and stuff!
    Dumbasses. Makes you want to move out to the middle of 40 acres or so. Almost.

  8. jen

    this is when you bust out the crazy aerobic dancing (combined with crazy eyed-look). that’ll make them think twice. it would me.
    see, you didn’t know your training was multi-purpose, did you?

  9. baseballmom

    I so admire you for going out there…you rock! At least the dumb honking slut saw that she bugged someone, even if she didn’t care. Our neighbors were leaving their puppy out on a chain at 6 am on WEEKENDS, and when it woke me and the kids up? I still didn’t have the balls to say anything. I am a chicken!

  10. Jennifer

    I am constantly amazed at how RUDE people are. You rock for going out there, and she totally should have apologized to you and gotten you a coffee, and offered to babysit for you so that you could take a nap. I usually just lay in my bed and scream into the pillow when I am awakened by honking (all the time). Was she honking out a little tune? Because the dude in my ‘hood does. Doot dooty-doot-doot. Doot Doot! LIke the one people use when they knock on a door and they’re trying to be cute. Which is even MORE annoying then regular honking.
    Oh, and he comes and picks up his friend every night, around 3am.
    GET A DAMNED CELL PHONE AND CALL THE PERSON AND TELL THEM TO COME OUTSIDE! But wait, then you might wake up other people in their house with the ringing phone. YOu’re right, better to just wake up the neighbors by honking instead.
    I totally know who he picks up and I have called the cops on them twice already for starting construction at 6am on the weekends. Assholes all around! Do some people just not understand that normal human beings like to sleep between the hours of midnight and 7am?

  11. Melissa

    You have a lot more guts than I do. I would have been too afraid of getting my ass kicked to go outside in the first place!
    I can’t believe she had the nerve to honk in your face. That takes some balls. Had I the courage to go out there, her doing that would have totally sent me over the edge.
    I’m so glad my neighbors on either side of us are nice (nuns to our left; a couple with a baby to our right)

  12. JesseeezMom

    OMG! Was she blond?? I thought I taught her honking was NOT acceptable. My daughter had been driving about 5 months and my husband and I were walking near her girlfriend’s house who my daughter was picking up for school. The girlfriend’s next door neighbor said “Oooh Hiiii …so you’re the parents of the girl who honks EVERY morning…” We were soo embarassed!! We had a LONG talk about walking to the door or using your cell and respecting others sleep schedules. So sorry Y- I’ll have another talk with her LOL!

  13. Stephanie

    Honestly, I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have your blog to make me laugh my ass off once a day. What did I ever do before you!?
    I totally wouldn’t know what the heck to do because you can’t go around beating everyone up like you could at 17, but yet, she was almost trying to punk you out! It’s a real bitch sometimes being a grown up with children, isn’t it!? Sounds like my neck of the woods, don’t feel bad. People just have no class!

  14. Melissa

    OMG your reaction is SO me! It so pisses me off when lazy asses just sit there honking and honking and honking! It’s like WTF …. if they aren’t hearin ya after one or two SHORT honks, get out the freakin car and go knock on the damned door dumb ass! sheeeeeeesh! And just because YOU are awake at the crack of the crack of dawn, doesn’t mean EVERYONE has to be! Good Grief!
    I live right near railroad tracks, i’m in the ‘burbs of Atlanta, not the big city, but not the sticks either, but you can definitely hear the train a comin, I’m probably about a block or so away from the tracks …. there is a train that comes by at 3 in the morning, and the damn engineer is just a LAYIN on the freakin horn, I swear to you for a damn mile at LEAST! OMG .. UM EXCUSE ME, MR DUMBASS TRAIN ENGINEER, but if at 3am people can’t SEE you comin down the tracks, because of that HUGH, BRIGHT light ya go goin on there, they probably ain’t gonna hear ya either!! cuz yanno, firstly, not that many people are out at 3am, and if they are, they’re usually youngin’s and have their stereo’s a boomin! OK? So lay off it!
    I SO want to find out where that fuhter lives, get me a train horn, and sit outside his freakin bedroom window and honk that damn train horn for 5 minutes straight … every day for a week straight, and keep HIS sorry ass awake!
    Another honking experience .. I’m at the Atlanta Airport, at 4 in the AFTERNOON, OMG it was SOOO crowded! I’m dropping my son off, he’s going to Cali to visit with his dad. Ok, son gets out of car, get luggage out of trunk … I’m ready to roll … well that is if I could move!!! There are a gazillion cars, I dont think they knew if they were comin or goin! And do you think someone could stop for say TEN seconds to let me out? Hell they can have my space!! So there is this Expidition behind me, the bitch honks … I’m lookin around, umm is she honkin at me?? hmm she must be … she’s behind me! Then she honks again!!!! I’m like … ummmm where the F am I supposed go bitch?? I’ve got a curb on my right, a gazillion cars to my left, that not ONE will stop long enough to let me out, a car in front of me and YOUR sorry honking ass behind me … I mean REALLY now!!!! So what does she do? She honks at me AGAIN!!!! I rolled down my window, stuck my head out and hollered, BITCH YOU HONK AT ME ONE MORE FREAKIN TIME, I’M SO GETTIN OUT THIS CAR AND RIPPIN YOU RIGHT OUT OF YOURS AND WIPIN THE GROUND WITH YOUR SORRY ASS! I AIN’T GOT NO FREAKIN WHERE TO GO!! SO STFU ALREADY!
    She just looked at me .. but she didn’t honk again! DUMBASS! sheeeeeesh
    People are just SO rude these days! It kills me!
    Thanks for bein you Y! I SO love reading you!

  15. Jo

    Glad to see I am not the only one with a dick honker for a neighbor. The woman two doors down from us blows the horn EVERY SINGLE MORNING at 6:30am Monday – Friday to get her kids out of the house for school. WTF? Why can’t she scream at them in the house like regular people?

    It’s wearing on my every last nerve. My husband isn’t sure what I should do because he doesn’t want retaliation from the gangs of teenagers that hang out on her porch. (Of Course, he sleeps right through it!) I’m not sure what to do because if the dumb bitch is doing this EVERY FREAKIN’ DAY, it shows she has no care or concern for anyone else anyhow. We have no firm plan of action and are just hoping it ends when school lets out. We know a couple of Hell’s Angels who have volunteered to “visit” her, but that would definitely be Plan C or D.

    I can’t believe this doesn’t bother anyone else in the neighborhood, especially all the COPS. Am I the only light sleeper who works nights in a three block radius? Guess so!

    Maybe I’ll take Y’s approach and go running outside in my PJ’s doing the wild “What the Hell are you doing dance” and see where that gets me first!

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