I just wasted a buttload of points on Wine.
I wanted a glass of wine to take the edge off because, DANG, I’ve got edges.
Well, being the kind of person who can’t stop at one, let’s just say, The Bubbly is all up in my system right now.
And that makes me want to be all honest and stuff.
Did you know I’m going to Blogher? Because I’m going to blogher. I can’t afford the conferences but you bet your ass I’ll be at the cocktail parties.
Quite a few people have said things to me like “oh, I can’t go, I’m not one of the popular people, no one will know who I am and I’ll end up in a corner by myself.”
To you wimmins, I say KNOCK THAT TALK OFF RIGHT NOW.
First of all, I am not one of The Popular people and Im going! And get this! Not ONE person has asked me to go. You know how on some blogs, you see people talking about how “this person and that person was begging them to go” or you see comments like “you better be going to blogher so I can meet you because you are so awesome!”
I didn’t get one of those. People don’t care if I go or not. Not one person ONE has said “OMG you have to go to Blogher!” to me.
But ask me if I care?
I don’t care! I’m going because I WANT TO GO. I KNOW that most of the people there won’t know who the hell I am. I know that “The Populars” will be like “Y who? What? Whatever!” And guess what? I DON’T CARE! I’m going anyway because I WANT TO GO. Because I think it will be fun. Because I love to have fun, because I am a fun person and I don’t give a SHIT if people know about my blog or not or if people ask me to sit at their table or not or if The Populars acknowledge my existance or not.
I’ve heard talk about “The Popular Table.” Who are The Populars? Do they like to boink? Do they shave down there? Do they love their vaginas as much as I love mine? If you give them a glass (or 3) of cheap wine, will they drink it and then want to have their Enchiladas stuffed? DO THEY WATCH THE GAUNLET?
Tails. Haaaaaaa. Cocks.
I’m pretty sure I know who people are talking about when they talk about The Popular table. This is how I see it. People are going to “sit next to” the people they have bonded with. They are going to want to talk to the people they have a connection too. Sowhat if Dooce doesn’t ask me to sit at her table. That doesn’t make her a bitch, that doesn’t mean she’s stuck up or a dick. It just means that we aren’t friends and um, why would you want to hang out with people you don’t even know? Hey, maybe I don’t want to sit at the popular table! OR mabye, MY TABLE IS THE MOTHER FUCKING POPULAR TABLE.
I wish people would get over all of that drama and just FREAKING ENJOY LIFE.
Wine! How I love thee!
I’ve never felt like I’ve “belonged” in my life. I’ve always felt like an outsider.
There are The Pretty People, The Smart People, The People who Own Houses, The Creative People, The Witty People, The Rich People, The People That Everybody Loves Because They Are So Damn Fabulous.
Then, there’s ME.
But the older I get, the more I realize it’s not so bad to be me. Sure, I live in an ugly house and don’t have money to buy nice things and have saggy tits and I play with my gut in public, but I am loving person and DAG NAMMIT, I’m fun! THAT’S RIGHT, I AM HELLA FUN, PEOPLE, I mean, seriously,think about it, I know how to NAVIGATE A PENIS. It doesn’t get any “funner” than that. (ok, yes it does. When I bust out in The Worm halfway through the cocktail party, that is going to be MUCH FUNNER then penis navigation.)
I will never fit in, I will never be one of The Populars, I will never be The Pretty Girl, but I WILL TOTALLY BE THE GIRL WHO GOES TO BLOGHER EVEN IF NO ONE GIVES A SHIT IF SHE’S THERE.
And I will also alwasy be the girl who loves her a $2.50 bottle of blackberry merlot.
I want to add something here.
My point wasn’t to whine that I’m not popular so that I’d get feedback telling me otherwise. I’m totally content with this blog and I love the people that read this blog. My point really was to tell the people who I’ve asked to go with me and who have said that you are afraid to go because no one will know who you are and that everyone will want to be around me and that you’ll feel like “a third wheel” to please, stop feeling like that and JUST GO so we can meet and have fun. Of COURSE, someone has twisted my post to make me look like an asshole who is fishing for “feedback” and that is not what the point was, my point was to say “Hey, no one gave me a special invite, and even though none of the so called “big name bloggers” knows who I am or gives a shit if I’m there or not, I’M STILL GOING BECAUSE I LOVE TO HAVE FUN AND I WANT TO MEET PEOPLE AND SOCIALIZE WITH OTHER WOMEN BLOGGERS AND YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME BECAUSE I WOULD LOVE TO MEET YOU AND HAVE A DRINK WITH YOU.
So there. If you still want to twist it, be my guest, I’m officially done trying to make you “get it.”
I just wasted a buttload of points on Wine.