This post will be deleted sometime in the near future by the drunk asshole post removal team. (thank you kathy)

I just wasted a buttload of points on Wine.
I wanted a glass of wine to take the edge off because, DANG, I’ve got edges.
Well, being the kind of person who can’t stop at one, let’s just say, The Bubbly is all up in my system right now.
And that makes me want to be all honest and stuff.
Did you know I’m going to Blogher? Because I’m going to blogher. I can’t afford the conferences but you bet your ass I’ll be at the cocktail parties.
Cock.
Tails.
Ha.
Ha.
Quite a few people have said things to me like “oh, I can’t go, I’m not one of the popular people, no one will know who I am and I’ll end up in a corner by myself.”
To you wimmins, I say KNOCK THAT TALK OFF RIGHT NOW.
First of all, I am not one of The Popular people and Im going! And get this! Not ONE person has asked me to go. You know how on some blogs, you see people talking about how “this person and that person was begging them to go” or you see comments like “you better be going to blogher so I can meet you because you are so awesome!”
I didn’t get one of those. People don’t care if I go or not. Not one person ONE has said “OMG you have to go to Blogher!” to me.
But ask me if I care?
I don’t care! I’m going because I WANT TO GO. I KNOW that most of the people there won’t know who the hell I am. I know that “The Populars” will be like “Y who? What? Whatever!” And guess what? I DON’T CARE! I’m going anyway because I WANT TO GO. Because I think it will be fun. Because I love to have fun, because I am a fun person and I don’t give a SHIT if people know about my blog or not or if people ask me to sit at their table or not or if The Populars acknowledge my existance or not.
I’ve heard talk about “The Popular Table.” Who are The Populars? Do they like to boink? Do they shave down there? Do they love their vaginas as much as I love mine? If you give them a glass (or 3) of cheap wine, will they drink it and then want to have their Enchiladas stuffed? DO THEY WATCH THE GAUNLET?
Cock.
Tails. Haaaaaaa. Cocks.
I’m pretty sure I know who people are talking about when they talk about The Popular table. This is how I see it. People are going to “sit next to” the people they have bonded with. They are going to want to talk to the people they have a connection too. Sowhat if Dooce doesn’t ask me to sit at her table. That doesn’t make her a bitch, that doesn’t mean she’s stuck up or a dick. It just means that we aren’t friends and um, why would you want to hang out with people you don’t even know? Hey, maybe I don’t want to sit at the popular table! OR mabye, MY TABLE IS THE MOTHER FUCKING POPULAR TABLE.
I wish people would get over all of that drama and just FREAKING ENJOY LIFE.
Wine! How I love thee!
I’ve never felt like I’ve “belonged” in my life. I’ve always felt like an outsider.
There are The Pretty People, The Smart People, The People who Own Houses, The Creative People, The Witty People, The Rich People, The People That Everybody Loves Because They Are So Damn Fabulous.
Then, there’s ME.
But the older I get, the more I realize it’s not so bad to be me. Sure, I live in an ugly house and don’t have money to buy nice things and have saggy tits and I play with my gut in public, but I am loving person and DAG NAMMIT, I’m fun! THAT’S RIGHT, I AM HELLA FUN, PEOPLE, I mean, seriously,think about it, I know how to NAVIGATE A PENIS. It doesn’t get any “funner” than that. (ok, yes it does. When I bust out in The Worm halfway through the cocktail party, that is going to be MUCH FUNNER then penis navigation.)
I will never fit in, I will never be one of The Populars, I will never be The Pretty Girl, but I WILL TOTALLY BE THE GIRL WHO GOES TO BLOGHER EVEN IF NO ONE GIVES A SHIT IF SHE’S THERE.
And I will also alwasy be the girl who loves her a $2.50 bottle of blackberry merlot.
Updated.
I want to add something here.
My point wasn’t to whine that I’m not popular so that I’d get feedback telling me otherwise. I’m totally content with this blog and I love the people that read this blog. My point really was to tell the people who I’ve asked to go with me and who have said that you are afraid to go because no one will know who you are and that everyone will want to be around me and that you’ll feel like “a third wheel” to please, stop feeling like that and JUST GO so we can meet and have fun. Of COURSE, someone has twisted my post to make me look like an asshole who is fishing for “feedback” and that is not what the point was, my point was to say “Hey, no one gave me a special invite, and even though none of the so called “big name bloggers” knows who I am or gives a shit if I’m there or not, I’M STILL GOING BECAUSE I LOVE TO HAVE FUN AND I WANT TO MEET PEOPLE AND SOCIALIZE WITH OTHER WOMEN BLOGGERS AND YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME BECAUSE I WOULD LOVE TO MEET YOU AND HAVE A DRINK WITH YOU.
So there. If you still want to twist it, be my guest, I’m officially done trying to make you “get it.”

60 thoughts on “This post will be deleted sometime in the near future by the drunk asshole post removal team. (thank you kathy)

  1. liz

    i have nver seen somebody who gets 45 comments per post always telling you how much they love you yet an entire post is written about how nobody gives a shit about if you go to something or not because youre so unpopular and so nothing and so everything else. Odds are there will be another 45 comments on this one telling you exactly the opposite and basically the end result is that you will see what you were hoping to see and youll feel better until the next post where you are completely worthless again. it’d be great if youd take your own advice seriously about how ‘its not bad to be me’ and stick with it. just how i see it, i already know it will be the most ‘unpopular’ comment on here.

  2. buzz

    Wait…hold on a second…you’re not popular?? Damn!! I’m always kissing up to the wrong people!
    Oh, and no one asked me to go either. Just cuz I’m a boy doesn’t mean I’m not sensitive to the plight of the female, does it?
    s’okay, though. I think I’m busy that day anyway.
    *Looks around for the _popular_ people*

  3. Emily G.

    If I had the money to go to BlogHer (or the interest – I’m still not that much of a blogger yet, I guess) I would totally want to meet you. In fact, if you’re ever in Cleveland, let’s get a huge bottle of Arbor Mist and have some fun. You sound like the perfect friend to just be yourself with.

  4. Itchy

    If I was going I would hunt you down just to make you do the worm. I’d even bring wine…cheap ass wine, too. :D
    My reason for going in simple, I live on the East Coast and I’m poor. OK, not poor – but not monied up enough to take many trips in a year…

  5. Y

    Ah, Liz, you’re back. It’s been awhile, how are you?
    My point wasn’t to bitch that “I’m not popular”
    My point was that I was drunk.
    And that I wanted all of the women who were saying things like “I can’t go because I’m not popular like you” to STOP SAYING THAT and go with me because I HATE that people feel like they can’t go because they won’t fit in. My point was that WE ARE ALL PEOPLE AND I WANT ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND READERS TO GO SO WE CAN HAVE FUN.
    Some people think that everyone wants me there and has asked me to go and that if they go with me, everyone will ignore them and only pay attention to me and my point was THAT’S NOT TRUE.
    The reason I brought up the fact that no one has asked me to go wasnt’ to be all “whoa is me, no one loves me.”‘ I NEVER SAID NO ONE LOVES ME, I WASN’T TALKING ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO READ THIS. I love the people who read this and I KNOW I have a lot of people who love me. The reason I brought that up was to try to make people understand that “It’s not what they think” and that I want them to go and that we will have fun and tha tto stop saying I’m popular as if that means I think I’m too good for people.

  6. liz

    actually, no, that wasn’t your point, tho it may seem like that now after you wrote it. and others seem to agree. and i didnt say you weere bitching but i did imply that you fish for people to feed the right things to you and this post was a perfect example of it. never said once you were bitching. you saying that you were talking to other women ‘who arent popular’ to quit their bitching was just a way to get more people to comment about how popular YOU in fact are but that you never seem to get it.
    Why do you have to get so defensive at the slightest hint of somebody not necessarily giving you what you want to hear?

  7. Y

    Ha. Damn, Liz. How long have you been waiting around to see if I was going to respond to your comment?
    But seriously, how have you been? ITs been a while…

  8. kim

    hi, me again :) i just wanna add something: i read the post again and i’m sorry i kinda misread it the first time. towards the end your “i will never be popular, fit in…” paragraph was the one i somehow focused on which made me agree with liz at first. but like i said, i read it again and i read liz’ comments again and then i started thinking [and no it didn't hurt all that much...] and now i wanna add something here while i’m at it:
    what’s the big deal about “fishing” for compliments or whatever on your site? i do the same thing. when i’m not feeling good or unpopular or hate my fat ass i write about it and i kinda know / hope i will have comments telling me that my ass isn’t fat or that i am popular and pretty. it makes me feel better so what’s bad about that? the [about seven] people that read my blog and tell me those nice things in bad moments are really important to me and i can’t see anything bad about it. i would love for Y to be able and see herself more often like the popular and great person she is but the least i can do at times where she doesn’t feel it, tell her and remind her of it.
    and if you [liz, i'm looking at you] don’t wanna make another person like Y feel better about herself or encourage her to go on in her [harder than hell] weigh-loss-process then don’t – but how about you also try to not and make anyone feel bad or like they have to defend themselves in their own home = blog.
    Y, i don’t think you should delete the post. but it’s your blog so you do what you want to :) and i’d go for cock.tails with you at any party any time. who sits at a table on a party anyways…

  9. jes

    Okay…love the post, see nothing objectionable as I too heart the gauntlet…don’t tell…until you say “blackberry merlot”…whoa. for a few cents more you can have Riunite Lambrusco, wine so sweet and tasty you are guaranteed a bum’s hangover… I would love to go to blogher and would for sure try to sneak a seat at y’all’s table
    Besides, as long as you give a shit who cares if they do. If I recall, you giving a shit is the reason you look so great these days

  10. ben

    Sometimes I wish I had a vagina so I could go to things like Blogher, but then I get realistic and have to admit that if I had a vagina I’d never get out of bed, much less leave the house.
    So, um, there.

  11. becky

    now see, i TOTALLY GET THIS POST. why? because i am one of the people that worried i wouldn’t know anybody and wouldn’t have a good time. not about popularity, but being uncomfortable in new surroundings with people who write so much better than i, and know how to turn a witty phrase. i may not be funny on paper, but i am damn funny in person. Y, if i make it up there, i will sit at your table and throw back the cock(tails) with you. promise.

  12. kristal

    For the record, I totally posted about you and BlogHer before you even wrote that you were going. So there. And if there is a way in hell I can get there? I will. Although I can’t handle the blackberry merlot. One glass and I’ll fall asleep.
    Seriously.

  13. chris

    I thought I begged you to go? I’m sitting at your table, whether you want me to or not ;-)
    But seriously I don’t get all the drama either. I thought being a grown-up meant we could move beyond the popular, not popular crap.
    I’ll admit that I was nervous to sign up, not because of popularity, but because in real life I am shy and it will take a lot for me to walk up to people and start talking to them. If I could just sit down next to them and email them, it would be much easier. But I’m doing it anyway, even though I’ll probably act like a dork.
    And ben, it is a struggle every.day.

  14. Y

    HA. Kristal! I hope you DO go, I swear to you, we will have so much fun, girl. I KNOWS HOW TO PARTAY.
    And Becky, I totally understand feeling that way, but don’t let that stop you from going! That’s what I’m saying. Let’s all go and let’s all HAVE FUN!

  15. Sarah

    I loved how the wine had evidently “taken the edge off”, but the blogger within you still managed to post links back to archived posts!

  16. Amy

    Okay okay okay! Yes, people, I am one of the people who is afraid to go to Blogher. Because I have the social anxiety! And the fear of being judged! And, I’m lame too! However, I will say this: the LAST place I want to sit is the popular table! Not because I don’t like those people, but because I would be completely intimidated. And, anyway, enough people will be tripping over themselves to sit there anyway, what do they need me for?
    I get your point, Y. Let’s go.

  17. Y

    And I will sell tshirts that say AMALAH THREW A COCKTAIL IN MY FACE… JEALOUS?
    but seriously, do I need to go back and highlight that I was um, DRIZUNK when I wrote this?
    I mean, can one really be held accountable for what one writes when one has drank pretty much an ENTIRE BOTTLE OF WINE?
    Is that really fair?

  18. Carmen

    Y, I’m going to BlogHer, and I’m sitting at the table with you and Chris. And I am totally NOT one of the popular people, but rather, the person that the popular people laugh at.
    So there. I can’t wait to meet you.

  19. Randi

    Popular’s overrated and most times judged on looks. Frankly, good looking people rarely have anything interesting to say. So give me personality and a fugly face any day.

  20. dana michelle

    Y, if I was a blogger I would totally go and fight to sit at your table. I know that an evening with you would be one wild ride :)
    Liz, Maybe you don’t know what it’s like to have really poor self esteem. Or maybe you DO have really poor self esteem but you take it out on others instead of yourself. As one of the former, I can say that we don’t generally go fishing for compliments. Most of us can’t even handle compliments because we can only see what we view as our failings.
    It’s been my experience in my 46 years that it’s the narcissistic people who really think they are something special that require everyone elses constant reinforcement.
    Y, I despised myself all through high school because I felt like such an outsider that just didn’t fit in anywhere. Then, a couple years down the road, a new friend I met through work discovered that she was in a college class with someone from my graduating class in high school. And he proceeded to tell her how “popular” I was!! Go figure!
    We never really can see ourselves the way others see us. I know you’re not fishing. You’re just calling it the way you see it.
    **Mwahh!!!**

  21. RisibleGirl

    I can TOTALLY relate to this post. I’ve been secretly (meaning I haven’t posted it to my blog!) thinking of maybe, possibly, perhaps going- but I don’t know anyone who is going.
    The thing is? I’m not nervous to meet people in real life- but this feels different to me. In real life I’m pretty confident, but my blog isn’t really up to par with my daily reads.
    Yup, I get it. Still tossing around the idea…..
    Thanks for putting this out there.

  22. Tara

    I have 3 words for you…. TWO BUCK CHUCK!!!!! Seriously. Memorize them, tattoo them, use them to rename your blog. :)

  23. poobou

    Ok ok, I’m going. I just have to scrounge up enough credit card space for a plane ticket. (Not as easy as it sounds, trust me.) But I’ll be there.
    Btw, I got my “Taken, Bitches” t-shirt yesterday. Love it!!

  24. Emily

    if I knew how, and wanted to go to blogher I would be nervous to sit at your table! But oh how I would want to! uh, yeah, I personally take pride in the fact that I am part of an ELETE FEW who know how funny you are. I feel special. And I have absolutly NO idea who you are talking about with “the popular people” do you mean the Finslippy and such women? I have no idea the relative “importance” of the blogs I read.

  25. Fiona

    *L* i love it when other people know your point better than you do yourself….points at liz’s post
    *makes circling motions with my forefinger at my temple*

  26. Ms. Q

    I would love to go, too. I won’t know a soul, but if you go, I’ll feel braver. However, I can only afford the cocktail party(ies). Hmmm. What about a SoCal Blogher Cocktail Party Carpool? I’ll drive. What do you say?!! I’ll even buy the wine. I can totally afford $2.50!!
    Seriously. You riding with anyone? I am sure I’d have to wear Depends on the drive though, ’cause you’ll totally make me laugh so hard that I’ll pee my pants.

  27. clearlydistracted

    Amen, Y. My immediate response was to congratulate you on taking a mature approach to the whole blogher thing. Then I almost didn’t post this comment because you’ve had some big names weigh in on this post now, and who cares what I think? Of course that attitude flies in the face of your post, so I got over it.
    P.S. On a totally unrelated note, I typed this with my left hand while nursing and pumping. I may not be a writer, but I clearly have some talent here.

  28. Paige

    OMG Y U R SO PUPULAR AND GRATE AND OH HI WHAT THIS IS ABOUT WHAT OK
    I’m not going but don’t think for a minute that I’m not disappointed that I won’t be meeting you. :)

  29. Mary

    Y- You have 51 F’ing comments!
    How are you not popular?
    damn!
    Some of these blogs are “popular” because of magazine articles and crap.
    You are popular because you are the shit!
    You rock!
    You are funny funny funny!
    You are honest too.
    I read a comment about your post about living in an ugly rental house and how it made that person cry.
    So you go and have a drink for me.
    Find Chris from the big yellow house and give her a hug from me because I am her biggest fan.
    I wish I could afford to go but I can’t.
    Although the look on my husband’s face when I mention flying across the country to BlogHer would be priceless!

  30. Tammy

    I had absolutely no desire to go, and then I read your post. YOU are going?!!! I want to go too, then! I’m half scared (okay, a lot scared) of certain, unnamed (D) bloggers, but you I could have fun with! Damn, I wish I lived in a part of the civilized world so I could be there too!

  31. pookie

    I hate people who show up to ones blog only to bitch at the author. Who the FUCK cares what you think? The perpose of blogs are to write ones feelings, thoughts, and what ever else you wanna write.
    I mean seriously Y…I won’t tell you that I read your blog everyday and love it! *wink* Because according *blog-Nazi* that would be proving a point. Yeah, like I give a rats-ass!
    So, I will write, Those who hate on others need to stay the fuck out! This is Y’s personal info shared just like all other who write, your blog is for your own sanity and pleasure. Sheesh!
    Go…GET….Shoosh!

  32. Meemo

    What post was Liz reading? I didn’t get that you were fishing for compliments at all. You’re Just letting us little peoples know that we count too. Thanks!
    It sounds like somebody is a little jealous.

  33. buzz

    Man! That’s going to be one very crowded, albeit unpopular, table! I hope there’s pictures. Wish I could go.
    (and sit at your table, uh huh..uh huh)
    Happy Valentines Day, sweetheart.

  34. kimberlee

    If I could go, I would SO totally want to hang wit cha’. You’ve got the right attitude about so many things. My kind of person! :D Have a fab-u-lous time!

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