Slow and steady wins the race and all that positive crap. (AAAAHHHHHH!)

Yesterday I had a mini melt down at my weight watchers meeting.
I went fully expecting to lose at LEAST 5 pounds. (because, it’s been 2 weeks since my last weigh in and I had weighed myself at home the previous Monday and MY scale said I had lost 3 since the last weigh in, so, I was expecting at LEAST 2 more pounds, to make the 2 week total FIVE pounds which I realize is confusing but pretend like you’re following along because I’m too tired and FREAKED OUT to try to figure out a way to say it so that it makes more sense) I step on the scale and WW lady goes “You lost! 2.2 pounds!” And, I said “What the HELL?” And she said “Excuse me?” And I said “I’m pissed. I’ve been working MY ASS of 5 nights a week at the gym, sticking to my points (no cheating whatsoever) and ONLY 2.2 FREAKING POUNDS IN 2 WEEKS?” And she said “Well, that’s right on target, you’re supposed to lose 1-2 a week blahblahblah” And I said “I’m still pissed off.” And so, she said “Well, you can talk to the leader if you’re that upset, maybe she can help you.”
So, I walked up to the leader. “How are things going?” She asked. “Not good” I replied. “I’ve been working out for 2 hours a night 5 days a week, sticking to my points, drinking all of my water (which is TORTURE FOR ME, PEOPLE I HATE WATER.) And I only lost 2.2. I wanted more, I expected more and I’m disappointed.”
“You are right where you need to be, you’re doing great. blahblahblah.”
And then she gave me some speech about how I am expecting too much too soon and then she said “You tend to be hard on yourself, don’t you? You like to beat yourself up, don’t you?”
“Um… that’s what people tell me.”
“Yeah, I can tell. And I don’t even know you.”
She’s right. I am too hard on myself and I promised her I’d change my way of thinking and that I wouldn’t give up because I realize that the weight IS coming off, even if it’s not as fast as I’d like it to come off.
The entire way home, I cried, which, I realize is stupid because AS LEAST I’M LOSING, but I felt overwhemled. I have come so far, but I still have a long way to go and the thought of how much work I still have ahead of me makes me want to puke. I hate that my evenings have to be spent in the stupid gym, sweating and looking like a jackass trying to do such things as THE RIVERDANCE and weight machines without ripping farts because apparently? Weights give me gas.
I hate that EVERY MORSEL OF FOOD that goes into my mouth has to be accounted for and written down.
I was still pissed off when I got home and ready to say “Screw it! I give up! I’m done, over it, The Fat Wins!”
But I had this really great idea to pull out some old clothes, put them on and get a little perspective of how far I’ve come, regardless of what the damn scale says.
Man, that was the greatest idea I’ve had in a long time.
Remember this picture from Gabby’s birthday party in August?

Ah, the Spare Tire. Lovely.
Well, here I am in that same outfit this morning.

The Spire Tire is still there, but LOOK! It has shrunk!
And the clothes? Theyare baggy.
It felt so good to realize that, hey, yeah, the pounds may be slow in falling off, but the all of the hard work I am putting in is paying off, it IS showing and so, I will keep going, even if it is FRUSTRATING AS HELL.
Because, I will not let The Fat win. VICTORY WILL BE MINE, OH LUMPY THIGHS!

(I am dork! Hear me roar! D-O-R-K)
(p.s. I’m thoroughly enjoying your voice mails. Keep them coming! 206-202-1345)

45 thoughts on “Slow and steady wins the race and all that positive crap. (AAAAHHHHHH!)

  1. Hed

    Fabulous! And don’t forget that weights will add weight. It’s healthy weight. You are building muscle. Muscle weighs a lot more than the fat you are burning, so the scale may confuse you, but the clothes! The clothes! The clothes! They say everything, don’t they!
    Congratulations!
    -H

  2. MoMMY

    I had one of those moments last week at WW. Their scale kept showing more than mine and then last week it showed 1.5 pounds instead of the 3 on my scale. Piss me off much? Let’s just say – you are a better woman than I. I binged for the next 3 days. I’m finally getting back on track (as of yesterday).
    I must remember… “Just keep swimming.” – Dori, Finding Nemo

  3. Jenna

    You look even more amazing in the recient photos of yourself in that outfit than in the original ones. I’ve learned that if I dwell on the little setbacks, than they tend to overshadow the good things. It might only be 2.2lbs, but look at it like you LOST wieght, no matter how little. You’re doing great.

  4. tonya cinnamon

    girl i knwo what you mena dont go the weight go by inches.. and keep taking pictures and getting ready to get more cute and sexy clothes..cause you gonna need them soon :)
    looking great already :0)
    btw i left you a email voice message i sounds like such a tennessee accented dork heheheh
    tonya

  5. Debbie

    A friend of mine has made Jenny Craig her best friend and she has lost 15 pounds!!
    Keep it up, girl! or, maybe you should say that to Tony – sex is good exercise.

  6. Itchy

    I forgot to mention this…but when I was going to WW their scale always showed less weight lost than mine did? Why? Because at home I weigh in nekkid…can’t do that at WW. You wouldn’t believe how much your clothes weigh…keep that in mind…

  7. Ms. Q

    Y, I’m piping in to be redundant and repetitive! YOU LOOK FABULOUS!! Seriously, you are looking so amazing.
    Redundancy #1: When you work out, you build muscle. Muscle is denser than fat. So, a pound of muscle still weighs a pound, but it takes up LESS space. You can actually GAIN weight and still look smaller. I know. Weird.
    Redundancy #2: Your clothes weigh like 4 or 5 pounds so if you weigh nekkid at home, you have to subtract that from your WW total.
    Redundancy #3: You look great. I mean smokin’ hot. Don’t give up! (But don’t get all Nicole Richie on us either – ’cause that is just wrong, not to mention totally NOT HOT!)
    In other news, I would leave you a voice mail, but I hate the sound of my voice!! You ain’t hearing it until you meet me for lunch! When are we meeting up anyway? I’m pretty much flexible with weekends. Next time you’re in OC… email me!

  8. Lisa Canter

    I have been doing weight watchers since right before Thanksgiving. I’ve lost 17 pounds! (Woohoo) alas I’m in a bit of a lull – but plan on getting back into it. You sound like you are doing just great – keep it up!!

  9. Laura

    You’re looking great, Yvonne. Your weight loss is really noticable in your arms and face, too! WTG! Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

  10. Michelle

    Delurking because, well I read here all the time so why not, and to say yay way to go! I remember when I was doing WW that two months in to it, I hit that wall and had an all-out panic attack. Fun times, but it does get better. My group leader just wanted to shove me off with some pamphlets though, no time for talking apparently. I also thought about doing that voice mail thing cause how fun! But then I thought um, she doesn’t know me lol.

  11. clickmom

    Another tid bit of information regarding the muscles you are building that are denser and take up less space than fat: They require more calories throughout the day, so the more muscle tone you acquire the more energy you burn: thus SPEEDING UP THE LOSS OF FAT!!
    And baby- you do look great.
    Pat- pat- pat on your much smaller back.

  12. MsShad

    Have you looked into Curves? It’s probably cheaper than a gym membership – at least in my town. It’s both aerobic, which is the weight loss, and weight resistant machines, so there’s the muscles. AND? It’s only a half hour workout with blaring music, which helps you keep the beat.
    I joined last May, went 5 times a week at first, am now down to 3 times a week. It’s finally a habit that I don’t even have to talk myself into going anymore.
    Today was my monthly weigh-in. I’m down 44lbs., but even better… 54 inches. Only 10lbs. more to go and I’ll reach my goal weight.
    The thing is? I used to wear size 14. I am heavier NOW than I was back then. But I’m wearing size 12′s. Go figure. Hey a pun!
    The best part? Is knowing that since I lost it slow and steady, I know it won’t come back.
    I started because of depression. I’m not thrilled and happy still, but I’m not depressed either. Good deal all around.
    You might look into it, if you didn’t have to sign a gym contract.
    I hate the sweating thing too. And two hours a night – you’re stronger than you realize!

  13. Beth

    Dunno what kind of scale WW uses. Do they use the kind doctors’ offices use — the kind with the weights that slide across? I’ve always noticed that bathroom scales are wildly inaccurate and perhaps built to make us seem like we weight less than we do. (This sells scales!) But the doctor’s scale always makes me seem like I weigh much more than I think I do, even though it’s probably more accurate. Anyway, my point: scale discrepancies. You’re losing weight, and you’re looking good! ;-)

  14. Heatheranne

    I’m jealous! I was in tears Sunday because of my weight (and because of pms, but still…) and I yelled at my husband for like 30 minutes telling him how fat I am and how disgusted I am at myself and how I hate that I eat and blah blah blah.
    Keep it up girl. You inspire me.
    Oh, I called your number while I was at work today and made my co-worker listen to your message because, like I said a zillion times on your voicemail this morning, I’m a dork. I was like “Listen to Y. You don’t know her, and you don’t read blogs but hey, she sounds just like she looks!” Cool!

  15. Bronwen

    Dude, I am totally printing out your picture and putting it on my fridge – the DORK cheerleader one – because you look so cute and healthy. Like, hey – LOOK AT ME! I’m doing it! I’m conquering the chub!
    Here’s your cheer:
    D! O! R! K!
    Fighting chub the YVONNE way
    GO me! Go me! Gooooooo me!

  16. Jennifer

    I’m reading a book right now called Flip the Switch; Proven Strategies to Fuel Your Metabolism & Burn Fat 24 Hours a Day by Robert K. Cooper, PhD
    Keep doing what you’re doing, but you might want to check out the book. Apparently there are some really easy things everyone can do to ramp up their metabolisms and burn more fat. Maybe it would help if you reach a plateau with your weight loss.
    Hey, I got a message number too! It’s 206-888-0471, and I just called you right this minute. Posting and voicemailing at the same time; what a clever girl am I! :-P

  17. Cor

    Hi Y, I just read about your experience with the gel at your PP, and had to tell you, if it made you feel like that, you used WAY too much. Trust me. If you’d like a sample let me konw, I’m happy to mail you one :) There’s enough for 3 uses and you onlyneed a TINYTINYTINY bit, you do not put one whole pump on the little man in the boat :)

  18. PK

    You go! Plus, and I’m sure someone already said this but I am too lazy to read through all your wonderful comments, if you’re working out you’re trading fat for muscle, which weighs more but looks a helluva lot better. So don’t rely strictly on the scale!

  19. JWO

    You look awesome…I left you my own dorky voice mail this a.m…it’ll be the one with the South Louisiana accent. You totally sound like you look, smart, funny and confident. If you get a chance I am going to email you with a couple questions re: WW. I’ve tried damn near everything else and need some advice, if you don’t mind…Keep it up

  20. sarah

    Hey there – it sounds like that was a really hard thing to accept, the only 2 pounds thing – but also really a good breakthrough.
    And you know what? You do look fabulous! You have already come a long way! Keep up the good work!

  21. KIM

    Delurking to say – it is SO IMPORTANT to keep putting on those old outfits and seeing how loose they are!!! That is motivation right there! Often we can’t see the day to day difference of a pound or two, but comparing clothing fit ~ oh yeah, baby ~ that will keep you on track.
    Good luck, and keep up with the great writing. You are REAL.

  22. Katie

    delurking… congrats! You look amazing… don’t get discouraged! I started working out to lose weight, but also gained weight (5lbs), although I lost a size… it’s all relative :)
    Plus, if you drink a lot of water, it makes you weight more because of all the extra ‘water weight,’ so if you’re constantly hydrated you’ll weigh more, but that’s good, because it helps you lose weight in the first place. um, yeah, good luck! *returns to lurking*

  23. Arianne

    I joined Jenny Craig and a gym recently. The most fun is when you gain 4 pounds in one week when you’ve not cheated and worked out 7 days a week. Fun, I tell ya! Actually, a trainer at the gym told me its really common when you are working out to gain weight now and then (or have your weight loss slow down). You are gaining muscle, your weight is redistributing, and working out can actually make you retain water.
    Your clothes being baggy is the biggest indicator, congrats to you!! Hang in there, you are doing awesome!

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