If only she had taken a bow

There was a time where I did not enjoy going out in public with my daughter and avoided it whenever possible.
Not because she was a “bad” baby, but because it was such a pain in the ass. I mean, the screaming, the crying, the diaper changes every 5 minutes, the wardrobe changes because of The Pretty Yellow Poop all over everything, the looking for a place to Whip Out A Tit. It was frustrating and not at all fun.
And when I am amongst the general public, IT BETTER BE FUN! (And you better BELIEVE I know how to PARTY in public.)
Thankfully, I no longer dread taking my daughter out amongst the people. Infact? I LOVE IT. I love taking my daughter places because girlfriend is hilarious.
She has this incredibly silly and awesome personality and I love to watch her around people.
She says “Hi!” to everyone who looks at her, and if that person isn’t a dick, and says “Hi!” back, she’ll smile the biggest, Goofiest, (TOOTHIEST, because, look! The teeth? They are HUGE) smile. And if you’re lucky, she’ll reach into her mouth, remove a cheerio and GIVE IT TO YOU. Because, DAMMIT,Gabby shares.
Yesterday, I decided to take her to Barnes and Noble because, girlfriend loves books. And when I say “loves” I mean “is obsessed.” We can sit for hours and read and she does not get bored. Which, is wonderful! And great! But, doesn’t she know I have clothes to fold?
Once we got there, she immediately busted out the personality and started waving, and shouting “Hi!” and smiling and giggling. Most people respond positively to her friendliness and “oohhhh” and “awww” and some people actually squat down to have a conversation with her! But some people are dicks and get annoyed because HOW DARE A CUTE BABY WITH HUGE TEETH BOTHER THEM.
I hate people like that.
She was in heaven at Barnes and Noble. HEAVEN, I tell you. It was so much fun watching her cruising the aisles, pointing at books, trying to get books that were out of her reach and laughing the entire time.

But then, something happened I didn’t expect.
Gabby found the stage. And she climbed up in the stage. And she looked up at the sign that said “Paws to heal, welcome!” and I am PRETTY SURE she thought it said something totally different, something like… um…perhaps… maybe…

Because, the next thing I know, girlfriend is squating, grunting and very much MAKING THE POOP for all of The People to watch!
I was slightly mortified, but mostly, proud. So proud, I clapped and said “yay!” Because, ha! ha! My daughter took a dump on the stage, people.

17 thoughts on “If only she had taken a bow

  1. Laura

    She is so talented!! I’m glad you’re having so much fun with her. (Actually, I’m a little jealous!! I want to sit at Barnes & Noble and read with my little girl!)

  2. Tammy

    Ha! I remember when Girl Terror used to poop while we were out for dinner. Each and every time. She was a turn-red-and-make-horrid-sounds kid, and it would catch the attention of everyone around us. Eventually, or entire section of the restaurant would be silent, while everyone watched in horror as the cutie in the carseat let loose a humungous dump.

  3. Y

    Thank you! And yes! People tell me that all of the time. Every single day! “She looks like that little girl from that movie with the monsters!
    I love it.

  4. Autumnn

    Books! Poop!
    Who could ask for more?! NOBODY!
    That’s who.
    (I LOVE Barnes and Nobles. Who would have known going there is such a treat?!)

  5. Y

    Well, I need to go there today because, man, I’m backed up, which is weird considering I’m on the “cabbage soup diet”.

Comments are closed.