The one where I don’t know how to end it because I could go on for HOURS about how The Teeth have turned her into The Debil

G-Unit FINALLY grew her upper teeth. And it’s weird, because e’rr since she got those teeth? She’s become violent.
You can see it in her smile. Look.

Her once toothless, sweet, innocent smile has been replaced with “yeah, I’m cute, but I’M ALSO PART GREMLIN AND WILL BITE YOUR FACE.”
I have scratches all over my cheeks from where she has DUG HER NAILS in my face when she gets pissed off.
And when I tell her “No!”?
She shakes her finger at me and screams “NONONONE!”
Oh, how she LOVES to Shake that finger.
And Scratch faces.
clench her fists whilst grunting in anger.
And stretch out and rip off all of her shirts in a fit of ‘GET ME OUT OF THIS CHAIR ALREADY BECAUSE I HAVE FACES TO SCRATCH!
I still love her like crazy, but she’s scaring me a little bit.
Not only because she’s taking a liking to inflicting pain and shaking her finger at me all day long, but? Because the girl has 29385985 toys, right?

(Which, by the way, have taken over my entire house. See those drawers? They were once filled with CD’S. Now? TOYS. And then there’s the basket of toys in my room and in her room…)
See all of the toys? You think she’d want to sit down with mommy and play with them! but does she? OF COURSE SHE DOESN’T!
She wants to “rooooooom roooooooom”, which, is G-Unit talk for “take me outside right now, open up the van and sit me ON THE STEERING WHEEL and turn it side to side whilst saying “vrrrooooom vrooooom”!
I thought having a girl meant we’d be playing with dolls and cuddling with stuffed animals? NOT RIDING ON STEERING WHEELS AND SCRATCHING EYEBALLS OUT.
Call me “crazy”, but I blame The HUGE upper teeth, because I swear to The Lord that this “personality change” took place the day those suckers broke through the gums.

15 thoughts on “The one where I don’t know how to end it because I could go on for HOURS about how The Teeth have turned her into The Debil

  1. ben

    If she ever gets together with my daughter we’ll have Electra Woman and Dyna Girl reborn. Or at least Xena and Gabrielle.

  2. hed

    Mine loves cars too. I tried. Really, I did. Her favourite story books are all about cars. I don’t know how it happened. Or why. But she loves them.

  3. jenn

    Those pics are GREAT! Priceless I tell you….and one of my twins…became the debil too when the teeth came in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel ya!

  4. Kristina

    My son was the one who turned into the devil when his teeth came in and it’s been downhill ever since. Just kidding, he’s a great kid.
    My daughter however, she turned out to be as girly girl as can be. When she got her teeth in she just turned more girly but I had more problems with her picking stuff up out of the floor and putting it into her mouth than with my son. She is still a girly girl. She doesn’t like to rough house or play sports, she would rather play with her barbies and put fake makeup on and look in the mirror and go ‘OOO I look like a princess”, yeah I’m waiting for the day she becomes a teen, seriously I am. *rolls eyes*
    Gabby is so darn cute, as well as your boys, but she is the cutest little thing.

  5. Jennifer

    OH MY GOD, Yvonne!!! She is SO CUTE, and is it wrong that I want to smoosh her cheeks and see her point her little finger whilst saying “no no no”?
    I hold a special place in my heart for the li’l sassy toddlers in this world. I just love when you see their li’l personalities and ideas emerge…so you better put some shoes on and take her to that van, so she can “rooom roooom!”

  6. Vicki

    It would be a lie to say I only come her for the literature. It’s for the pix of the babe. In this one she looks like a cross between a Gremlin (you’re right!) and a latino version of this beautiful doll my daughter had. Did I mention I had a daughter? Believe me, G-unit is just winding up. I love hearing about this fiesty one of yours.
    Why am I not surprised that you like Q-Tips?

  7. Wendy

    She just keeps getting more and more adorable every single time you post pictures.
    The steering wheel game looks fun, but for some reason I think I’d get my legs stuck if I tried it the way she does it…

  8. kim

    but yvonne, she’s SO CUTE (of course i only have the joy of looking at the pics and i don’t have to deal with her throwing fits, scratching or wrooomwroom-ing) and man, by looking at the pictures she’s DAMN CUTE!

  9. Tammy/averagemom

    See, your trying to tell us she’s all “debilish” and all, but the pictures tell a different story. Look at that cute face! Look! I love the shots of her and her brothers. They just look like they will take care of her forever, and she knows it.

  10. Sarcastic Journalist

    Dude, you KNOW the same thing is over here. BUT? It started with the walking. She was cute and whiny. Now? Damn, I have the Head Evil Gremlin slapping me around.
    Mental note: Don’t teach my child to go vroom vroom.

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