“I have three kids.”
“I am the mother of THREE.”
It’s been almost a year since I’ve been able to say that and it still feels weird coming out of my mouth.
“Why, Yes, I’ve pushed THREE skulls out of my vagina!”
I used to laugh at People With Three Kids.
“HA!HA!HA! I only have two! And they wipe their own asses! And they go to school all morning so I have the ENTIRE DAY to myself! Hahaaaaa!”
Last night, Tony and I were discussing the fact that Gabby is almost a year and still not walking. Both of my boys were walking by 11 months. (Andrew at 10, I believe). And man, we couldn’t have been happier because THEY WERE WALKING BEFORE ALL THE OTHER BABIES! Because, in case you haven’t noticed, parents get competitive about that stuff.
With her? I am not trying to rush her. I know how fast they grow. My First Baby is TWELVE WITH HAIRY BALLS people. I never imagined the day I’d say that would come so quickly. Ok, I never imagined I’d say that, EVER, but still. I don’t want my little girl to grow so fast, so if she crawls til she’s 2? I DON’T CARE.
One skull. Two skull. Three skull.
Besides, I wouldn’t care to learn how to walk if I were her! I mean, What’s the point of walking when she can sit on the couch and drink Green Tea Frappucinos all day long?
That’s right, one of the skulls that passed through my vagina is addicted to Green Tea Frappucinos.
Raising An Addict is fun!
Fun and a LITTLE scary, because, well, Look at her eyes!
She’s possessed by The Bucks. And DON’T YOU DARE TRY TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM HER.
PROOF that she hates it when you do that.
Lucky for you, my camera doesn’t have sound because if it did? YOu would have heard The Scream of Death as I pryed it out of her hands and you don’t have to tell me what a bad mother I am because I gave it back to her as soon as she screamed because I already know that but man, it’s hard to not give into that girl because THAT FACE and yeah, I know she’s going to own me and I’ll regret it, but, again THAT FACE so leave me alone about it already, PLEASE?
I have no idea how I went from skulls exiting vaginas to asking you to “please stop telling me how to raise my children!”
My THREE children.
P.S I’m ok, just really busy , but thank you (you know who you are) for checking up on me.