Remember, for only $459,000 you too can share in my joy

I honestly did not think it was possible for me to LOVE this neighborhood more than I already do. (no, seriously, The White Trash-iness grows on you!! Honest!)
Ex boyfriends living on the hill across the street from your house because their girlfriend’s parents have a restraining order against them. Potato launchers at 2 in the morning. People walking across the street with a rifle in one hand and a beer in the other at 11 in the morning. Having to open your window and yell at your neighbors to ‘SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY’ at 4 in the morning. Neighbors yelling “PUT YOUR TRASH IN THE BACKYARD BECAUSE I’M HAVING AN OPEN HOUSE TODAY AND I CAN’T SELL MY HOUSE WITH ALL YOUR TRASH” at other neighbors out of their car window.
Oh, the joy. The GREAT JOY.
So, imagine the happiness I felt when I woke up, opened the blinds and my eyes were assaulted surprised with this precious gem…



It’s just like my van! Only, with a broken windshield! And trash bags on the tires! And probably the getaway car in a serious crime!
It just keeps getting better with each passing day and I continue to ask myself “How DID you get so freaking lucky?”

20 thoughts on “Remember, for only $459,000 you too can share in my joy

  1. Heatheranne

    Oh, I share your joy. My apartment complex used to be very quiet and nice, until about 3 years ago. Now it’s filled with college kids and 40 year old drunks. I know how much fun it is to tell your neighbors to shut the hell up at four in the morning. And what’s even more fun is that the college girls, their boyfriends, the mother of one of them can NEVER get along so they’re always screaming and slamming doors. Every time they slam a door, my walls shake and that’s not very pleasant at two in the morning. Aw yes, my son has learned all kinds of fun things like how to give oral sex, and his vocabulary is growing with words like “cunt” because of the fucktards behind us. The new thing here is that several people now own little dogs that bark all fucking night because they’re kept outside on the balcony.
    There’s just nothing quite like apartment living.

    Reply
  2. Jenn

    I wanna live in your neighborhood. Who needs movies when you have it like that. My hood is all blue hair old fokes and way too quiet.

    Reply
  3. Mamacita

    Wanna trade houses? As I type there are five huge dead deer by the entrance to my driveway. One has a huge rack. (not the kind I want.) In a few hours the rednecks will descend and in the morning there will be five skinned headless deer by my driveway. It’s a prime spot for deer to be hit by cars.
    What are the trash bags over the tires for?

    Reply
  4. kimmie

    OMG.. that would really suck.
    BTW, I am jelous that you live in California! though I will pass on your neighbourhood and I don’t have 459,000 US anyways –well maybe what do you think I could get for my husband and kids?

    Reply
  5. NinaKaye

    My husband seems to like to collect things like that, so I have 4 extra (non-working-junk) cars in my yard! And I’m sure that won’t be the end of it! At least it’s on the opposite side of the street.

    Reply
  6. Annika

    $459,000? That’s nothing! I can get a three bedroom in North Hollywood (note: North Hollywood, as in, the valley) for $800,000.

    Reply
  7. bilah

    is THAT how you hide the fact your tires are all flat? damn why didnt i think of that! I need to tell my neighbors that one.

    Reply

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