Joy, Unexpected


I love that little girl.
My God, I love her.
I can’t get over how perfect she is. How beautiful she is. How precious she is. How funny she is. How sweet she is.
She wasn’t supposed to be here.
I’d hear people talk about their “OOOPS” baby. Their “unexpected baby.”
I’d laugh and say “I don’t know what I’d do if that happens to us! Thank GOD for The Rythym Method!”
OOPS!
Ten months later, I STILL can’t get over the whole “She wasn’t supposed to be here” factor. It just makes her so damn special to all of us.
Oh, and did you notice, my daughter, the one I never thought I’d have, HAS DIMPLES?!?
I CAN’T EVEN STAND IT SOMETIMES. She’s just so… amazing. And so, unexpected. And so… not planned and so… MY DAUGHTER.
There. I think I got it out of my system. It was either write it out, or run up and down the street naked screaming “I HAVE A DAUGHTER THAT WASN’T PLANNED AND I TOTALLY LOVE HER AND WANT TO BITE HER TO PIECES!!”

28 thoughts on “Joy, Unexpected

  1. katie

    you must have wanted to get pregnant again deep down or you would have used birth control with a higher success rate……it’s not an accident just a suprise

    Reply
  2. Momi2KBabies

    I know what you mean, my first child, my son, wasn’t planned and came into this world even though I was on birth control but I would NEVER give him up for the world, he’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten.

    Reply
  3. katie

    becky, I’m not criticizing, but to say someone is an accident is very close to saying they are a mistake, I just think a suprise sums it up better

    Reply
  4. Y

    Ok, katie?
    You’re intentions may be good, BUT…
    My pregnancy WAS accidental. Whether you believe it or not. I cried for WEEKS after I found out. If you KNEW me, you’d know how much I didn’t want to be pregnant. My family knows. They got the frantic phone calls of me crying hysterically.
    So, you may not like the way it sounds when I say it wasn’t planned, but, I NEVER said she was a mistake.
    Infact, did you read the post? I AM TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH HER. I think that God KNEW I needed her and even though I wasn’t expecting her, even though after I found out I cried and thought it was the worst thing that could happen, even though… she turned out to be exactly what I needed and wanted and I love her with every fiber of my being.
    I plan on being completely honest with her when she’s old enough to understand.
    The fact is SHE WASN’T PLANNED. But I love her.
    And I’ve never called her a mistake, ever. Those were your words, not mine.

    Reply
  5. Katie

    I go back to my original point if you REALLY didn’t want another baby you would have used proper birth control

    Reply
  6. Y

    And you know why I brought it up? Because the fact that she wasn’t “planned” makes her THAT MUCH MORE SPECIAL to me and my husband. That’s why I brought it up, because we always say “OH my god, we never thought we’d have this baby and look here she is! And look how AMAZINGLY AWESOME she is!” Every single night.
    Ok. I think I’m done now.

    Reply
  7. fl0w3r

    Y – While I admire your honesty, I don’t think it will be necessary to tell her that she was unplanned or an accident or anything like that. All she ever needs to know is that she was a gift and everything happened just like it should have….because unplanned or not, she was meant to come into your life at that point and time. God had a plan, even if you didn’t. ;-)
    That being said, if she point blank asked you, honesty is the best policy.

    Reply
  8. Y

    Rhythm method with condoms was proper birth control FOR US.
    It worked for 13 years. Both of my boys were planned. I kept charts on my body, when I was fertile, when I wasn’t.
    Gabby was not planned, but if you want to stalk my comments and continue to make your claims (because, apparently, YOU KNOW ME SO WELL!) that I got pregnant on purpose and am lying about it being unplanned, well, you go right ahead.
    You weren’t here, you don’t know.
    And flower…. I will tell her that she is so very special because God gave her to me because he knew I needed her.
    I feel like I’m being attacked here when all I wanted to do was let the world know how special she is to me.
    DAMN.

    Reply
  9. Jessica

    She is beautiful. Planned or not, she is precious, and she came into your life as an unexpected blessing. Believe me, I know all about unexpected blessings. My eldest was conceived while I was on the pill, and my 10 mo. old daughter was conceived while using condoms. She really is so precious, and your words and pictures make it obvious how much you love her.

    Reply
  10. Sarcastic Journalist

    Oh boy. I couldn’t take the pill. I tried ALL OF THEM. The ring fell out. The “patch” is just like the pill. I SPENT THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT MY MYSTERIOUS PAIN WAS including 3 very invasive procedures….it was my IUD.
    I did the “rhythem” method with condoms as well. My baby was an accident/surprise.
    Not a mistake.
    I have corrected people who called what happened a “mistake.” God doesn’t make mistakes. And? Know what?
    The only 100% effective form of BC is not having sex at all. But, if we did that, I’m sure someone would come and judge for that one.
    ACCIDENTS OF THE WORLD UNITE.
    I’m an “accident” as well and PROUD OF IT.

    Reply
  11. fl0w3r

    I hope you don’t feel like I was attacking you. I think you are the greatest. I was merely making a suggesting. I’m a first-time Mom with a 3-month old son…so, you know how to handle these motherhood things way better than I.

    Reply
  12. sphinxy

    Everyone is so effing SMART. How can we stand to be in their presence. I’m not worthy.
    How about Y does and says what ever the hell she wants to say and the know it alls shut their pie holes? HOw about that?

    Reply
  13. Amy

    Yuk, I hate that this beautiful post got all gummed up because people were arguing over semantics. I’m with SJ–accidents of the world, unite! I’m one, my sister is one, and we both know it and know our parents love us just the same! Hooray!
    Y, Gabby is ADORABLE and so are you for LOVING HER SO WELL!

    Reply
  14. Jessica

    Y, Keep loving your little girl!! It doesn’t matter why she is here… she is here and she is your little girl that is very special. Condoms (with or without charting) are a form of birth control. Just as any other form (even the pills, the shots, and getting your tubes tied) it can fail. As long as your child doesn’t see herself as a mistake that ruined your life she will grow up happy and healthy and love you guys as her family. I love those demples!

    Reply
  15. Annika

    Hee. I’m so retarded. I’m looking at the picture, thinking “Where is her moth? SHE HAS NO MOUTH!” when in fact she is just being a baby and biting something.
    DUH.
    Well, even with no mouth, she is GORGEOUS. Just like her mama.

    Reply
  16. Laura

    My twins were a happy surprise. My second set of twins – well, the pregnancy itself was planned, the fact that it was twins again was more of a FUCKING SHOCK than just a surprise – my mom always says a baby is a blessing, no matter what the timing is. And I agree with her.
    We are all blessed to have these beautiful children. Truly, truly blessed.

    Reply
  17. becky

    i was an accident, not a mistake. i know i’m loved. gabby knows she’s loved too. she’ll know it with all of her heart.
    y, i love you too. *mwah*

    Reply
  18. Lisa

    Hi, Y. Just wanted to (shyly) say that I LOVE your blog and that I, too, had my little “oops” baby four months ago (also on the rhythm method). When I found out, I basically had a nervous break down – I thought 3 was SUPPOSED to be ENOUGH for us. I thought there was NO WAY I could handle FOUR KIDS. Well, I was wrong. And I’m SO glad I was. She has brought SO MUCH WONDEFULNESS to our lives. Being a girl, she evened out or family (we have 2 of each now – 2 older boys and 2 younger girls) and every day I look at her I think… “Oh man… she is so beautiful, so precious… I STILL can’t believe she is here!” I know what you mean – it’s a weird but wonderful feeling. And I applaud you for recognizing it.
    Anyway, sorry to take up so much space… just wanted to tell you that I have loved your blog for so long and that I can relate to you on SO many levels, just too shy to post usually. But these posts really touched me, and I had to comment.
    I have you linked in my blog – hope that’s OK. Even if I’m one of those that uses the term “Aunt Flo”. ;) ROFL (One of my older blog entires)

    Reply
  19. Jessica B.

    i have to say first that the photo of you and gabby is one of the most beautiful photos i have ever seen. EVER!
    the second thing i want to say is that 8 years ago i had my own little accident. he knows he was not planned. he also knows that i love him more than anything in the world and that we are each a gift to each other from God. he is the best part of my life… the one and only thing that makes everything else worth it for me. my sister and i were both accidents. my little brother was the only one that was planned. that has never stopped my parents from telling us how grateful they are for each of us. i freaked out when i found out about my son, just like you did… but, just like you, i wouldn’t change it for the world.
    oh, keep taking photos of that little sweetheart!!

    Reply
  20. debutaunt

    My parents only wanted two kids.
    I am one of seven kids.
    If there were only two, I’d be a millionaire right now (as yes, I’m a trust fund baby).
    My siblings are the so kickass of all kickass peeps.
    Katie is a douchebag.
    That is all. *mwah* to ya Y.

    Reply
  21. lulu

    women who tell other women that the only proper birth control is chemical or some sort of physical device that can also harm your long-term fertility or health are full of it. How dare someone else try to tell you that you should have been onthe pill. The pill can put some women at risk for strokes and other major problems. Charting really works for some women. nothing works 100% of the time. You have a wonderful blog here, Yvonne, and I love to check in every week or so. Don’t feel bad if you ignore or remove comments from trolls, that’s all up to you , it is your blog. You rock. I love to read your stories about your family. Keep it up!

    Reply

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