I see an intervention in my future

“You’ve got so much shit in your head that you just need to get over.”
That’s what my friend told me this morning.
Or something REALLY close to that, because, I wasn’t paying attention.
That’s another thing she said.
“You don’t pay very close attention to things.”
Both statements are completely true.
The gym we recently joined has tanning beds and offer one free tan. She suggested we try it after our workout. I immediately began to freak out at the idea of getting into a tanning bed. “I’m claustrophobic.” “I’ll panic” and most importantly? “I’m not getting naked!”
You see, one of the biggest reasons I’ve never tried a tanning bed?
The whole “naked” thing. I don’t get naked anywhere but in my bathroom, and only after checking to make sure the door is locked and Tony’s not hiding behind the toilet to Sneek A Peek.
As I was standing there, trying to think of a way to get out of it, I made a decision to stop listening to all of The Shit in my head and just DO IT.
“I’m stepping WAY outside of my comfort zone. I just want that to be known!” I said to my friend as I signed the waiver form.
I did panic a little once I shut the top of the bed, but I closed my eyes and tried to think “happy thoughts” only, it didn’t really work because MAN, all I could think about was “What if my nipples burn? HOW WILL GABBY LIVE because aint NO ONE sucking on them if they burn!”
Other than worrying about my nipples, I LOVED IT. The heat felt great and I walked out of there with some color on my Germanly white legs. I now plan on doing it at least once a week.
Had I given into all of The Shit in my head, I never would have tried it and I’d not be sporting a sweet lil’ tan on my not so sweet, not so lil’ body.
I love this whole new world of mine, in which I tell the paranoid voices that live in my head to “SHUT IT” and I listen to the voices of the people who love me and promise me they are not going to let anything bad happen to me inside of the tanning bed.
Life is much better this way. Much better.

Why don’t you tell TOM to shut it. (You have no idea how happy that stupid petition makes me…)

14 thoughts on “I see an intervention in my future

  1. K'vitsh

    Good for you.
    It’s really hard not to listen to the bad voices, I know.
    I’m pleased to read you’re working at listening to the happy ones instead.

  2. Mama (Dana)

    I was afraid of tanning beds while I was nursing because I was afraid of messing up my milk, radiating it or something! Glow in the dark milk would have helped the baby find me in the middle of the night, though!
    Giving up on those voices is hard, but after a while you don’t even hear them anymore. Or so my therapist tells me. Good for you for going for it! (Was that enough “for”s for you?)

  3. Heatheranne

    You go! You’re so right about telling that inner voice to shut the fuck up. I need to do more of that myself.
    I’m TERRIFIED of heights. Several years ago when my husband and I were just dating we found a bungee tower. I was so scared, but I did it. It was so empowering to look my fear in the face, and the adrenaline was amazing. I’m still terrified of heights (probably more now that I actually know how it feels to free fall) but I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

  4. clickmom

    I am still stuck on the possibility of burning nipples, since mine are huge, like everything else on me, I’m not sure I’d take a chance and go there-nursing or not. Why not wear pasties, then you can entertain anyone catching a glimpse on your way out of the tanning bed?

  5. Chelle

    You have to get in there naked? Oh, man! I had no idea, ha! Guess I’ve never really given it a whole lot of thought though…..but that whole burnt nipple possibility is enough to make me never consider it. My nipples have had enough trama. ouch.
    But good for you! and your tan.

  6. tricialicious

    When I actually read what I told you it sounded kind of mean! Sorry, I had good intentions when I said it…you know I love you!

  7. geeky

    i totally know how you feel. i used to talk myself out of doing things all the time because they were out of my comfort zone. but lately, like you, i’ve been making myself do things anyway. like in april, i made myself get on a plane and then get on a boat to cruise around the carribbean. yeah, most people would jump at the chance, but it was only my second time flying, my first time on a ship, and my first time out of the country. waaaaaaaaaay out of my comfort zone. but i did it, and i LOVED it. so yeah, good for you for not letting you talk yourself out of things. i know it’s not easy!

Comments are closed.