And he’s ALL mine ladies, so STEP OFF.

My husband just blamed me for the fact he has putrid poisonous gas blasting out of his ass because “WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I COOKED HIM SOME VEGETABLES?”
Because he’s a doctor and he totally knows that 2 days of no broccoli = gas that smells like a rotting dead body. He also knows that it is MY job to make sure he eats his vegetables.
What will he (and his ass) do should I die tomorrow? I don’t know! Perhaps, COOK THEIR OWN DAMN VEGGIES? Oh, the horror!
Fourteen years he’s been blaming me for everything that’s wrong with him, but this one will go down in our history as the greatest accusation EVER.

8 thoughts on “And he’s ALL mine ladies, so STEP OFF.

  1. Mellissa

    I would say that the fibre in vegetables would be more likely to CAUSE gas.
    But you’re right. He can cook his own vegies. Or eat them raw!

    Reply
  2. girl

    I’m with Mellissa on this one. methinks your husband is well… full of shit. all green veggies give me gas, especially brocolli.

    Reply
  3. ben

    I bet he’s been eating rotten dead bodies on the side, and just trying to blame you for it. It’s a trap!
    Check under the bed, in his underwear drawer, etc. to find his stash.

    Reply
  4. john

    Poor man works all day while your at home relaxing and all he expects are some greens…
    /hits the door running.

    Reply
  5. Annika

    That poor man. I can’t believe you gave him gas! Evil woman!
    That reminds me, we haven’t had a vegetable in a few days around here. And I think my husband might have farted this morning! I’d better get myself to the stove.

    Reply

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