It’s not even punny

I remember the first time a woman referred to her period as “Aunt Flow.”
“I got a visit from aunt flow today.”
“You have an aunt named flo?”
“No. ‘Aunt FLOW?? *wink wink* You know… Aunt F-L-O-W.?”
Ohhhhh. Aunt FLOW. YOUR PERIOD! I get it now! HAHAHAHHA.
That was at least 10 years ago.
Did you know people still say that? And they still think it’s funny?
Guess who aint who laughing anymore? Aunt “rhymes with HI”. (Get it, “Hi” rhymes with “Y”?!)
See, that wasn’t funny either.
So, please, for the love of me, STOP REFERRING TO YOUR PERIODS AS AUNT FLOW.
If you don’t, I’m going to start referring to my vagina as Aunt Tuna.

22 thoughts on “It’s not even punny

  1. Louise

    I was once watching Oprah (okay I really don’t LIKE Oprah but whatever, I watched it that time) and she was all like “Oh, my friend is here, do I look bloated?” and kept talking about her FRIEND.
    I finally figured out that she meant her period. That evening one of my dorm-mates told me “Louise, your friend is at the door!” (yeah our doors were locked and we had to sign in any visitors esp. those of the male variety) and I thought “Uhm?”

  2. Mushster

    I had an annoying ex-friend who calls it ‘the Curse’.
    “Bitch, bitch, ohhhhh I have the curse today, bitch bitch”.
    Sorry lovie, you’re cursed every day!
    Notice I said EX-friend lol.

  3. Mamacita

    I actually have an Aunt Flo but I won’t talk about her here. I promise.
    And ‘friends’ don’t make you cramp and bleed, and make you pay the WalMart cashier tons of money for ‘devices’ so you don’t have “accidents.”
    Chick jargon. What would we do without it?

  4. cindy

    Instead of Aunt Flo, my friends and I call it “TOM” short for Time Of Month. Its just as cheesy as saying “Aunt Flo” but it feels better to think of it as a man.
    That bastard.

  5. Michelle

    LOL I’m one of those people that refer to my period as AF because I’m a lazy bitch and will use a shortcut for typing a word anytime I can. 😉
    I have to say though, I can’t stand it when people call their genitals by some cutesy name other than what it actually is. Winky, Willy, Hoo hoo, Ha Has, Ta Tas.. WTF? That annoys me.
    Then again, who am I to bitch. I call my period AF. 😉

  6. ben

    You mean, you don’t say that you have “a friend visiting?”
    (my wife, who can be subtle, will sometimes stop me when I’m making my big romantic move: “I’m bleeding like a stuck pig, it ain’t gonna happen tonite.”)
    Also: bearded clam. But I think I like love taco better.
    Making a run for the border…

  7. Kate

    Never called it Aunt Flo or Tom (although I like Tom – the idea of it being a man is kind of cool); my little euphemism is “The little red train has pulled into my station.” :)

  8. Jessica

    LOL! Makes me feel sorry for anyone who’s real name is Flo (or however you would spell it). I had a friend who had a real aunt flo but she didn’t call her that very often since everyone made fun of her. I am lauging about the love taco too! LOL!

  9. Mieke

    I hate all that crap – those stupid euphemisms. I just say I have my period. I have always rolled my eyes when people said “Aunt Flo”, or “my friend”. There is nothing to be embarressed about, it’s a normal bodily function; there seems to be some subtle shame involved when people use those phrases.
    I have never found it remotely funny when people tell period jokes or induldge in PMS humor, especially men, it has always felt like it their way of making us feel shameful or less than equal because we menstrate. Which is ridiculous.

  10. shy me

    I call it “my period” … but some of my friends in highschool called it some girl’s name, like Carol or something ( I forget ) and I was always jealous because I didn’t know this girl and never got to meet her. Sigh. So naive… or innocent… or something.

  11. Isabel (Izzy)

    LOLOLOL…I came here following a link from your comment to my “Aunt Flo” post on my blog. This is hysterical! Glad to know I’m not the only one thinking “Aunt Flo” is the stupidest expression ever invented. Actually, judging by your comments, it appears that a lot of people share that sentiment. This is why blogging is so great. Where else would you get the input of so many people about something so retarded? Love your blog! I’ll be back :-)

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