She learned from a pro

Gabby when she gets what she wants…

Gabby when she does NOT get what she wants…

What she wants…

Not what she wants…

And my family has THE NERVE to call her a spoiled brat.
That’s pretty much exactly what my temper tantrums look like. When Tony brings home the wrong kind of drink from Starbucks, Lord have mercy!
I’m all happy when I first see the cup!
“Yay! A frap!”
Then I realize they forgot the extra caramel and I’m all “I aint drinking that stupid piece of crap drink! I will throw it down the drain!”
My sister and I used to have a name for the anger we feel when people don’t get our food orders right. It’s called “Squish the Foam”.
You see, one day Tony went to get us a frozen yogurt. We gave him our order and he came back with THE WRONG SIZES! We wanted larges and he got smalls. SMALLS! . We were both pissed, but didn’t want to say anything because, well, it was really nice of him to get it for us. I sat there, looking at this stupid piece of crap SMALL yogurt and I lost it. I started to squeeze the Styrofoam container as hard as I could. The yogurt oozed out of the cup, all over my hands and dropped onto the table. We both started laughing uncontrollably at how stupid we were acting because we didn’t get larges! We have “issues” with food, obviously and there have been many times since that incident in which we’ve called each other on the phone to talk about “A Squish The Foam” incident we had experienced that day.
Have you ever had a Squish the Foam moment? You were looking forward to eating something and when you brought the food home, the order was totally screwed up and you didn’t want to eat it because you were SO PISSED that it wasn’t exactly what you wanted?
I have a feeling me and my sister are crazy and just may be alone on this issue.

35 thoughts on “She learned from a pro

  1. Shylah

    It’s happened to me. I went to Jack in the Box late one night for a Southwest Chicken Salad. Imagine my surprise when I got home and all settled in and a movie started – and there was no chicken on my salad. I was so pissed that I drove back up there and demanded the cleaning lady let me in (the lobby was closed). I dropped the salad on the counter and said, “What’s wrong with this picture?”
    What ensued was a THIRTY MINUTE search for the chicken for the SW salad, and they never did find it. They gave me like four helpings of chicken for a different salad, I went home, put it all in the fridge, and ate ice cream. The salad and chicken went bad in my fridge. Bastards.

  2. Lindsay

    I don’t know if you have BW3s where you live, but they have aMAzing wings. Un.freaking.believable.
    So I picked up wings the other night – only to come home and realize they have ABSOLUTLEY NO SAUCE on them. The sauce is their specialty! The box even said “N/S” on it but I completely didn’t notice during my cursory glance in the bag to make sure I had the correct number of boxes.
    That disappointment is probably much like going to Paris with a boyfriend expecting him to propose, but only to walk around and look at the Eiffel Tower, getting ready for the surprised-but-totally-not-expecting-it! look that never ends up happening. You feel bad for feeling disappointed, but hey, we still ate the wings anyway.

  3. Zoie

    I actually refused to eat my lunch one Saturday afternoon because my husband brought home regular fries instead of curley fries **( GASP)** . I was like ” Um, Hello?? How long have we been together? YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT I FRICKIN LIKE!” Then I went off muttering something about how I can understand the high divorce rate in this country and how GLAD I was to see that HIS order was what HE wanted……. Damn pregnancy hormones

  4. Shaunta

    When I was pregnant with Ruby my husband went to get us Subway sandwiches. I only eat ONE thing at Subway. The Subway Club with NO MAYO. I do not eat mayo. Gag. So, I’m all anticipating my yummy sandwich. And in walks my husband with a sandwich that was LOADED with mayonaise.
    I was so pissed. Because, HELLO. You stand there and watch them make the damn sandwiches! It’s not like they hand it to you all wrapped up out a drive through window.
    Kevin said, well, he put it on before I could say anything so I just figured you could eat mayonaise JUST THIS ONCE.
    Oh. So wrong. So, so wrong. I glared at him until he went and got me food that I could eat.
    Also…what a cutie you have! Now I want to take happy/mad pictures of Ruby. She goes from this total open mouthed grin to a pout in one second flat.

  5. Deborah

    Movie buttered popcorn is my favorite food on the planet. When I go to the movies, I want a large buttered popcorn. You know, the huge-ass tub. I’ve never eaten more than half of it but I don’t care. I want the other half there just in case there’s a time I do want all of it.
    Once my husband decided that since I never ate the whole tub, a medium popcorn would do. He regretted it. In our family, that is still known as “The Ugly Popcorn Incident of 1998.”

  6. halloweenlover

    Yes, lots of squish the foam incidents. I get enraged if the mustard is that spicy mustard shit instead of yellow mustard. GRRRRR. And when I order eggs and say 3 times that I want the white part totally cooked and the white part comes back all runny. Gross. And when my husband makes chicken and puts peanut sauce all over it even though he knows I hate peanut sauce. He has a death wish, I think.
    The best though, was when the hubs went to McDonalds and got a chicken sandwich with no chicken! Just bread! And the next week, he got a mcGriddle and there was no egg! He called McDonalds CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS to complain. Ha ha ha ha ha! I think they are out to get him.
    Gabby’s face is precious, though. Maybe you should make a picture frame with different openings and show her different moods. It is too cute!

  7. NinaKaye

    Trying to think back and remember something, but the only time I remember being pissed about food wasn’t exactly about the food. I was nine months pregnant and had just left the doctor’s office (so you know he’d rammed his arm all up and stuff to see how things were going…really fun already) and we went to Taco Bell. They were out of sporks, forks, and spoons. I was all “how the hell am I supposed to eat this?” They didn’t seem to care. “We have some knives.” Ugh. That made me so mad…I still haven’t gone back to that location!! dumbasses. Otherwise, I get screwed up orders all the time, but then I’m not all that picky I guess because I’ll just eat it anyway….er…maybe I’m just a pig.

  8. Janis

    The worst had to be when we went to dinner at a Mexican place called Chi-Chi’s. I know.. I know… A place named after boobs. *sigh*
    But they had really good food. Till that night.
    They didn’t mess up my order really….
    But as I was about halfway through with my meal I bit down on something really hard. Thought it was bone till I saw it…
    It was about an inch long piece of fingernail. In my food. That I had been eating.
    I told the waitress, she told the manager, he didn’t even offer to comp my meal or anything. Just said sorry.
    No wonder they went out of business.
    Hmmm… Wonder if that guy now works at the Wendys that is serving up fingertips with their chili?
    *gag*

  9. Janis

    Oh– one more!
    McDonalds pisses me off to no end.
    I always order a chicken mcGrill, no mayo. Without the mayo, I can have on for only 6 points on my weight watchers.
    Can you guess how many times I get mayo even when I ask not to have it? Yeah, I knew you could.
    Or how about the time I went through got my diet coke and no straw? Drive back through to get my straw. Get heading down the road, no honey mustard sauce for my mcnuggets. Go back. Cannot, will not eat them without sauce. Back on the road. Kids meal for babies not only has no toy (not a big deal) but has nothing other than fries in it. Go back, bitch and yell. Get the cheeseburger and TWO toys. HAHA
    Years ago they had a McDLT. Remeber those? Hot stays hot, cold stays cold you put the burger together when you were ready to eat it? I got one once with no meat. I didn’t know they’d gone all veggie on us! HAHA! Went back and got my beef.
    I think McDonalds hires idiots. (except for my son who worked there all through high school) 😉

  10. Jen

    Heh heh, no I don’t have that chromosome, I guess.
    Man, this kid gets more gorgeous every day.
    Who gives a shit if she’s spoiled?

  11. wdc

    Those pictures are great!
    A few weeks ago I called an order in to PF Chiangs. When my husband got there they didn’t have our order. He had left his cell phone at home so he ordered what he thought I would like.
    Let me first say, I’m pregnant. I don’t even like chinese food but oh how I wanted those fried wontons and chowmein. By the time he got home I was salivating. I could feel the food melting in my mouth. Then I opened the bag. What the fuc…..? I looked at him with a crazed look and he was like “Oh, they didn’t have our order so I just got some things.” Um. What? He got chicken. Chicken chowmein, chicken lettuce wraps. Chicken, chicken, chicken. The one thing I am unable to even look at since being pregnant.
    I ate cereal that night.

  12. carson

    The line here is “I will throw your sandwich out the window.”
    The backstory is that when my husband and I were on a 6 hour road trip, tired and cranky, he ordered the subs while I went to the potty. He’d told me that he knew what I wanted.
    It was wrong.
    We were back in the car and I was driving, and I pulled the car over to the side of the road, hit the automatic window for his side, picked up the sandwich (which was a 12 inch we were splitting) and threw it across him out the window.
    He is so freaking cheap that he got OUT OF THE CAR TO SEE IF IT WERE SALVAGEABLE. It wasn’t.
    That was 8 years ago, and has morphed into a joke.

  13. lex

    You are not alone! My sister and I call each other up all the time to report food tragedies. I literally have cried over wrong food incidences and so has she. The phone calls usually go something like this… Me(or her): “They got my fooood wroooong!” Her (or me): “Oh, nooo. What happened?” Almost as bad as wrong food orders, is when you go somewhere for something specific and they’re Out!! Happened to me once at Bob’s Big Boy with their Hot Fudge Cake. Out of fudge. WTF? Sisterly bonding right there! I feel you, Y!

  14. Paula

    I was craving chinese food one night (which is rare since im not a big chinese food fan) but I was dying for the rice. I ordered a dinner for one and an order of eggroll for delivery, it gets delived, I open my dinner for one happily anticipating eating the rice Ive been craving to find a box full of dried up leathery looking pork strips and chicken wings. I was so mad I flung the styrofoam container off the table, after cleaning the mess up, I ended up eating microwaved mac n cheese that night and hating it. Im glad to know that Im not the only one who gets mad when their food orders get screwed up.

  15. Mrs Darling

    Yep, when I was pregnant with my daughter I wanted a blackberry shake from DQ, Nothing else! I stressed that to hubby! What does he do? He goes to the store and brings back blackberry icecream from the super market to make a shake in the blender. I was never so mad!
    When you’re pregnant you want what you want and nothing else will take it’s place!

  16. Mrs Darling

    I’m posting again to get rid of old info in my address bar at your site. I spelled it wrong originally and it’s been saved like that for months. This post should erase that and save it correctly. Sorry about this.

  17. grace

    extra pickles, no mayo. Simple enough, no? Apparently not, after 10 years of eating together he still gets it wrong half the time.

  18. Maddie

    Just last year when I was pregnant…ALL I could think of was a Dunkin Donuts sesame seed bagel with cream cheese. I drove over got my bagel in it’s little white and pink bag and rushed home to make some decaf to go with it. When I opened it, the bagel was completely BURNED to a crisp. I almost had a nervous breakdown. Don’t mess with a pregnant lady’s food!

  19. Chasmyn

    Being pregnant, girl you KNOW I have these issues. But HUb does, too and always has. We are now both freaks about our food. Once recently we went out for Thai food at a restaurant, and asked them top wrap up what we didn’t finish (it was enough for another meal). When we got home and later opened it to have dinner from it, we found that they had given us someone else’s leftovers.
    It was food! That we didn’t order! And it had possibly been already half-eaten by someone else! Of course we threw it out (which in and of itself is against my religion – we grew up poor, always saved food, etc – my issues), but I was SO upset. I wanted to finish MY food! The food *I* paid for!!!

  20. ben

    We once stopped at a drive through with my niece and nephew, leaving town on a road trip.
    They gave her a happy-meal toy that she ALREADY HAD and we didn’t realize until we had already pulled onto the highway.
    This kid screamed for the next two hours about getting a toy she already had.
    My kids? Are probably worse.

  21. Nanc'

    I’ve had food tantrums but the worst was when my now husband and I were dating. I have a blood sugar problem and was starving. I told him this and told him I needed to eat or I would faint. He pulled into a Burger King (!) which I detested back then. I started to bawl uncontrollably. That was 19 years ago but now if I start to feel faint, he always gets me to somewhere I want to go. (he! he!)

  22. debutaunt

    I can’t say I’ve had the squish the foam type incident because usually I am just glad I’m buying the food and not having to serve it.
    But if THEY FUCKING TAKE MY FOOD AND TOSS IT ALL WHEN I TAKE MY KID TO THE BATHROOM FOR THE 139401328TH TIME, I’M GONNA GO ALL LUBY’S SHOOTER ON THEM!
    Just last night. Applebees in the burbs. My kid goes to the can for the 2nd time. I tell the waitress specifically to NOT throw out our food. I come back and the gd manager is chunking our food. He then gives me an extra order of my kid’s chicken tenders. Look asshat. She’s full already. At least give me some pie or some shit!!
    Ok, I think I just squished the foam in that comment. Sorry.

  23. Jen T

    We (as in my whole family) just had a Squish the Foam incident last week. I had a craving for some hot & spicy General Tso’s chicken. Hubby stops on his way home from work and orders that (and he asked them is this hot and she said yes) and got the kids’ sweet & sour chicken. He comes home, I open the bag, and know just by looking that chicken isn’t hot. It wasn’t. To make matters worse, THEY FORGOT THE SWEET AND SOUR SAUCE for the sweet and sour chicken. WTF?!

  24. Stacie

    Oh I am SO into my food and get royally pissed if it gets screwed up.
    My story is a “squish the cake” one that my DH and I share. I was trying to make a Yule Log cake roll for Christmas one year. You had to put the cake on a dish towel (NOT terrycloth one) and then roll it up. Yeah, I used terry and the fucking cake stuck to the cloth! My hubbie walked in to check how I was doing and found me with both fists stuck in this friggin’ cake and squeezing the shit out of it, screaming “Go buy me another God Damned cake mix!!!!!!!” Not pretty…..

  25. k8

    Me- pregnant w twins- the only thing I wanted to eat for like a week was McDonalds fries with McDonalds ketchup. had to be McDonalds ketchup. husband comes home w fries and no ketchup and then has the nerve to tell me to use the heinz in the fridge like its the same. guess who was sleeping on the sofa?

  26. Maine

    Never once in my life has this been a problem to me. Never. Once.
    My wife? Like eight times a day. She thinks I don’t love her if I can’t remember to ask for extra Arby’s sauce when I bring home a roast beef sandwich.
    Eight times a friggin’ day. I just don’t get it. Just eat what you have. Did cavemen complain when the carcass was cooked too tough?

  27. Philip

    Can she chew trhough the table yet?
    And my God woman, how could you possibly deny that angel anything that her heart desires??? :-)

  28. April

    This cracks me up!! I had a squish the foam incident which turned into a wanting to choke someone incident.
    Just yesterday I went to Taco Bell on my lunch break from work. All morning I was thinking about nachos bell grande. So when I pulled up and saw the huge line, I didn’t care. It was worth spending my whole 30 minutes I get for lunch in line at Taco Bell just to get me some nachos bell grande. Finally it was my turn to order, “I’ll have a nachos bell grande with extra sour cream please.” The lady looked at me so sadly, “Oh, I so sorry, we no have nachos today. Maybe tomorrow. I get you something else?
    SOMETHING ELSE!! I just spent 34 minutes in line for nachos bell grande for her to tell me “we have no nachos today.” They need to post that kind of shit on the door or something. Ugh!!
    Your Gabby is absolutely adorable!
    ~April~

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