“Today was just an average day, well, except for the part where I LOVED THE GREATEST MAN IN THE UNIVERSE!”

Last night I found one of my old paper journals. It was from the year 1990, the year that we got married.
GOOD LORD. I can’t read it without cringing in shame at the “gag me with a spoon” factor of the words I had written.
I was 18 at the time, but let me assure you, I sounded more like… 13.
Here are a few snippets…
“many, many good and wonderful qualities”
“Tonight was my bestest friends bridal shower”
“P.S only 3 months, 17 days til I marry my precious Tony!”
“It was ‘Pig Out’ day at work today and BOY! Did I make a pig out of myself (And I said I was going to fast! Oh well, tomorrow!)”
“I was in la la land all day today! I LOVE TONY!”
“I was thinking back to when we first met. I didn’t like him, I thought he was weird and he looked like a rat. Now I love him more than anyone on this earth!”
“Completely and hopelessly in love!”
“Praise the LORD! I’m so lucky!”
“He hung up on me. I was CRUSHED but I did a terrible thing! I called him back and hung up on HIM! I wanted him to know how it felt!”
(Should I stop? Are you throwing up yet?)
My Tony”
“I’m so glad we have a forgiving relationship” (jajajja)
“I love him so much and I pray that I NEVER make him mad again!” (HAHAAAA)
“She said she’s not going to be in our wedding and I was mad so I said ‘GOOD’!!!!”
“Help me Lord!”
“I know he’s been hurt in the past, but in a way? I’m sort of glad because NOW he’ll know what REAL LOVE is!” (haaaaaa)
I’m so glad he was born! :-)”
Ok. I’ll stop now.
The funniest part about it is how the things I found SO EFFING CUTE about Tony back then are the things that annoy the shit out of me now. Things like him “being the question asker” (my exact words). In my journal, I wrote about how funny I found it that he always asks questions in conversations. Just last night I yelled at him to QUIT INTERROGATING ME! And now I feel guilty about it because, I used to LOVE that about him. Then again, back then, he could have held my face against his ass crack and made me inhale his farts and I would have thought it was bestest, most cutest thing in the world!
Ah, young love. Young dumb love.

10 thoughts on ““Today was just an average day, well, except for the part where I LOVED THE GREATEST MAN IN THE UNIVERSE!”

  1. Liberty

    *dies laughing*
    I’d die of embarrassment to share my old journal entries. “Oh, I just know that this is true love and I’m glad to know we’ll be together forever.” I guess 8 months DOES seem like forever when you’re 17.
    It IS nice to look back and see how far you’ve come, though, eh? :)

  2. caitlin

    All of my journals make me cringe. Whether it was last year or 3 years ago. LOL. I especially love going through my journal from when I was 16 and just got dumped by the guy that I thought was THE ONE!
    It’s like an avalanche of cheese suffocating you in the middle of a wild cheese storm. It’s THAT awful.

  3. Darleen

    heheheh…
    I have this box, see, that I made my husband promise me that’d he’d burn it, unopened, if I died before him.
    cuz, it not only has a journal or two of such writings, but things like story outlines for what I was sure would be The Great American Novel ™ and some comic book drawings where I’m an actual character in the storyline.
    I can’t bring myself to destroy them myself, but I don’t want ANYONE to see them either!! LOL
    BTW…my husband has a similar Destroy.Upon.Death box.

  4. Philip

    I’ve got a stack of journals on my bookcase, and whenever I need a reminder of just how far I’ve come, I go pull one out from the middle and start reading.

  5. etherian

    I have a 3-ring binder stuffed with over 30 love poems that are puking-tastic. I never, never open that binder, yet I can’t seem to throw it away.

  6. Tammy

    Hee Hee hee!!! You were such a sap! Of course, I still have the paperclip bent into my first major crush’s initials that he made for me. And the keychain my second true love gave me for our 2 week anniversary.

  7. Lindsay

    I just found some of my old diaries as well… that shit cracks me up! The funny thing about it is how when I look back on the memories in my head, I seem like the same person. Then i read what I wrote and realize they are waaaaaaay different people. I’d kind of like to go back in time to my former self and slap me a couple times, I’m glad my diaries can give me that insight. I guess that means I should slap myself now for what I’ll think of myself in 5 years…

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