Father, forgive me for what I am about to do…

I am dangerous with scissors.
My husband could tell you stories of the many times I got pissed at my hair and decided to cut it myself and how one time when I did it, he came home to find me in the bathroom with his hair clippers, crying really hard, SHAVING MY NECK because the fantasy I had that I cut “texture the back of my hair” went bad and I cut it THAT short.
Snoop could tell you a story about the time I decided to “trim his hair a little”.
My boys could tell you about the time I decided to save money and give them haircuts myself and how they’d cry because I’d take 3 hours to do it and their hair looked like shit when I finished.
The reason I’m telling you this is because I’m THIS CLOSE to cutting Gabby’s hair right now. I know I shouldn’t, but OH MY GOD, her hair is irritating me. It’s getting so long in the back and the front? It keeps getting in her eyes.

See what I’m talking about? Hair. All in her face. The girl needs a bang trim and I knows how to give bang trims.
Here’s the thing. Once I get the urge to cut someone’s hair, be it my own, my dog’s, my children’s, I can’t stop myself. It’s like I become possessed by the scissors and even though I know I shouldn’t and that my husband will want kill me, I’ll do it anyway because…the scissors MADE ME do it.
I’m fighting it because I don’t want to make my daughter ugly, and I certainly don’t want to accidently cut her, but I’m staring at her bangs and I swear to God, the scissors are whispering “just doooo iiiitttttt, you know you want to dooooo iiiiittt“.
I hope I beat this battle of the urge to cut. For Gabby’s sake.

28 thoughts on “Father, forgive me for what I am about to do…

  1. Jenny

    Oooh, you should let it grow out all one length! :) Latina girls are sooo cute with long hair..and I’m not just sayin that because my daughter is half Mexican! ;)

  2. steph

    Oooh! That’s me with juicy, white, on the verge of exploding pimples. How can you just let that thing sit there and not pop it. HOW?!?! Ooh. If I had a penny for every super, juicy pimple I saw in high school, I think I’d be a billionaire.

  3. Empie

    Y STEP AWAY FROM THE SCISSORS!
    From someone who knows please don’t do it! My oldest son needed a touch up and ended up bald before I was done, then ran to the mirror and cried. The poor kid was ashamed to go to school, so I had to buy him a hat! Tha was six years ago, and he still has not forgotten! GAWD I wish I had pics tho!

  4. Ange.

    Oh I know the urge.
    I’ve been putting off professional photos for almost six monthes now because of the last bad haircut. LMAO.
    Poor poor child of mine.

  5. Shaunta

    I have ALWAYS cut Adrienne’s hair. She’s always just had long straight hair with bangs, so no big deal, right? Well, this past summer when she was getting ready to start middle school, I got ready to trim it up. And she said “Mom…please, Mom…can’t I have a GOOD hair cut this time. I want a real person to cut my hair.”
    Um. Ok. And what am I, chopped liver?
    The poor girl put up with 12 years of non-good haircuts and didn’t even complain. How sweet.
    Shaunta

  6. Edie

    Been there. My poor child has had bangs that barely extended half an inch from her scalp. We have good intentions right? Why do we think we can cut hair just because we’re mothers? WHY?!?

  7. Tammy

    I gotta get you, I’d cut it. In a heartbeat. I’ve been cutting Girl Terror’s hair since she was born. Mostly just her bangs, but a few times I’ve trimmed the back. It’s halfway down her back, so there’s lots of room for error. Look at it this way. It’s hair. It’ll grow back. And as for it being all one length, little girls NEVER seem able to keep it out of their faces without bangs. Go get the scissors. You can blame it on me.

  8. Hedy

    Whoa. You know, I used to do really bad things to my hair with scissors. I think the worst was when I felt like I needed Betty Paige bangs when I already had really short hair that I cut off myself, because I was, well, pregnant, and my hair got caught in a fly strip at a party, and I had to cut it all off. Why? Why oh why did I keep going?
    I remember talking to a friend about the bangs a few years ago, and she said: “Yeah, you really shouldn’t… try… that again.”
    I still cut my own hair, but it took an intervention and 28 days in a treatment centre to strike a healthy balance. Good luck.
    -H

  9. Mamacita

    Trim her bangs while she is napping. That way, she won’t wiggle and spoil your straight line.
    It’s also a good time to cut her fingernails.

  10. robyn

    I’m just the opposite. I wouldn’t let scissors touch my kid’s head until he turned 1 year old. I can’t explain why. I just couldn’t let it be done. The magical birthday just came and went, however, so now I have to put the scissors where my mouth is (or something like that). We’re going to a barber though. I’ll never live down the one time Todd asked me to trim his hair…

  11. y

    I would NEVER judge. Infact? Oh my God, I wanted to pop a zit on my son’s ASS. You see, he thought he had a spider bite on his ass, and he told me, so I asked him to let me see it and he didn’t want to, but I told him “I wiped your ass until you were 3, just let me see” and it was a HUGE ZIT and I just wanted to pop it and he was so grossed out, he couldn’t look at me for the rest of the night.
    And, I didn’t cut Gabby’s hair, Tony came home and saved her.

  12. caitlin

    If you can’t restrain yourself, be sure to cut her bangs DRY so that you don’t end up having them shrink way up into dork-bangs. Hold the bangs between your fingers and snip UP into them, rather than across, until you have a mostly even length. That way, you don’t end up with annoying ruler-bangs, and it looks mostly natural…
    Who cares if you mess up? She’ll forgive you for it now, though maybe not in 10 years or so. My mom used to let our hairdresser give my sister and I matching she-mullets. It really couldn’t have been any worse.

  13. maricar

    Malia’s hair has been like that for months so we just put it up into a little coconut tree. I love hair ties! Teehee. Plus there’s a supersition or legend or some crap like that in my culture that you’re not supposed to cut the baby’s hair until they’re 1. Weird huh?!? Do you want some hair ties and barettes and headbands? Cause we have lots people have given us and we’re not even using them. We can send them to you! Just email me.

  14. Mariposa

    The scissors talk to me too.
    One time, in band camp… just kidding. One time, I gave my daughter a pageboy haircut at the age of three. She looked like that boy on the Dutch Boy paint can. Her beautiful baby curls laying on my floor. Dead. Killed by my hands and the scissors that talked to me.
    Please, for the love of god, mujer, put down the scissors.

  15. melly

    Have you not seen my son’s hair? Come on! There is one group of strands right there in the middle that you can cut. And if you should feel the urge to go all crazy, remember, that her hair will never grow back the same as it did the first time. That beautiful head of hair. I know you love it so, and remembering that, you won’t do anything drastic. But do cut the hair that’s getting into her eyes. Then love and leave the rest.
    She looks like your twin in that picture :)
    I’M GOING TO EAT HER CHEEKS.
    xoxo

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