Being mama.

Today was supposed to be an exciting day. Opening day of basketball for both of my boys. First game at 12:00, second game at 2:30. We were looking forward to rushing in the rain to get from one game to the next, having some lunch in between. Sitting in the bleachers, cheering for our boys.

Instead, I’m sitting here with knots in my stomach thinking Ethan might end up in the emergency room, hooked up to an IV. He threw up a LOT yesterday and then fever set in. It was such a horrible day, trying to divide my time and attention between the three kids, knowing how badly Ethan needed me to be right there, and yet having a 5 month old who totally depends on me for everything. I took care of him the best way I could, without ever letting Gabby near him. I hand fed him chicken noodle soup while Andrew watched Gabby. I held his cup so he could sip water. I rubbed his feet, his hands, his head. I checked his temperature every hour. I gave him tylenol to keep the fever down. I held wet washcloths to his forward. I prayed with him as he cried and asked Jesus to make him feel better. I did everything I could short of taking his sickness upon myself (Which, believe me, if I could have, I would have) But I still feel as though I didn’t do enough and now, as he’s lying there so weak he can’t even sit up, as he’s shaking to hold up his water bottle, I can’t help but wonder if I should have asked my mom to take Gabby so I could have given my full attention to Ethan. OH WAIT, Gabby won’t take a bottle, I couldn’t have done that.
I’m feeling as though there’s just not enough of ME to go around, but mostly, I’m feeling very worried about my little Ethan.
I’ll let Tony take Andrew to his game (and YES, it’s going to break my heart into a thousand pieces that I won’t be there to watch him play his first game) and if Ethan doesn’t seem a little better after having been hand fed some oatmeal and after having sipped on some Pedialyte? It’s off to the hospital we go.

13 thoughts on “Being mama.

  1. Lisa

    I hope he’ll feel better soon, Yvonne. You’re doing all the right things. Hang in there. Good luck to Andrew! Feel better, Ethan.

  2. NinaKaye

    Aww…I hope he feels better soon, and without the IV.
    Around this time last year I had to hold my baby (17 months old at the time) down so they could get some blood from her, then hold her down again so they could hook her up to an IV. Not a pleasant day for either of us.

  3. Stacey

    Oh Ethan, poor little guy.
    You’re a good Mom Yvonne, and just being there with him helps him I’m sure. I still want my Mom when I’m sick, and I’m in my twenties.
    I hope he gets better soon. :(

  4. ginger

    Few things are worse than watching your child suffer and not be able to do much about it. You are a wonderful mother, Yvonne. I’ll pray that Ethan gets better quickly!

  5. geeky

    poor ethan! i hope he’s feeling better soon. you’re an awesome mom Y, i’m sure he’ll be back on his feet in no time. :)

  6. jen

    Hang in there– and try gatorade. It will have a lot of electrolytes and kids like it better.
    and popsicles.
    Don’t worry so much about the solids at this point– just clear liquids.

  7. Mona

    Sorry to hear this. Please get well soon Ethan. Hang in there Yvonne. You’re doing good so far.

  8. MollieBee

    Dehydration is nothing to fuck with. You’re a smart Mama for keeping ahead of it. Hope he feels better soon.

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