God, I love them

Apparently, it’s “not cool” to wake your boys up by singing “Goodship Lollipop” while pretending you know how to tap dance. Infact, it’s “annoying” and “stupid” and they’ll want you to “GET OUT!” of their room.
Also? If the “the tooth fairy” forgets slip a five dollah bill under the pillow of a 7 year old who lost a tooth? They suddenly don’t believe in the toothfairy. They suddenly think “Hmmmm, maybe it’s because the tooth fairy doesn’t exist and someone forgot to go to the ATM to get cash out.” And no matter HOW HARD you try, how good you lie, they have lost faith and they KNOW it’s you. Especially when they find an empty bag of M&M’s on the couch.
Do I even NEED to tell you what an ass of a mother I feel like this morning? But, it’s ok, really, because I haven’t laughed this hard in a very long time.

15 thoughts on “God, I love them

  1. ben

    We almost forgot that our six year old (seven in three days) had lost his tooth. Luckily, during the night he had migrated from his bed to ours, so when I remembered it was easy for my wife to slip in and put the money where it should be.
    But he only made $3. I heard that the cost of living in California was higher than here…

  2. Steph

    My was a cheap biyatch too! Is that per tooth or visit? I would have been rolling in it had my tooth fairy given my $5 a tooth because I usually had two teeth at a time. *grumbles* Damn dentist and his “your mouth is too small for your teeth” chatter.

  3. y

    dude, yeah, $5 a tooth and he had just lost one the other day. We were stupid, once you give a $5, you’ve always got to give a $5.

  4. kimberly

    That is so funny! My mom used to wake us up by singing and it is just the most awful way to wake up. I’m siding with your boys on this one.

  5. Sarcastic Journalist

    i would prefer the good ship lollipop instead of the “rise and shine” song. good ship lollipop rules.
    and as for the toothfairy? She once left a bag of change under my pillow. and that is AFTER i saw my sister counting out change into a bag earlier in the night.

  6. Laurie

    5 bucks! holy cow! I would only get 25 cents! Except this one time the toothfairy, she was in a hurry according to my mom, she just threw the change on the same night stand where my dad threw his spare change at night. she left me about 2 bucks in change that time!

  7. Nicole

    We had to give B $5 for a tooth. I lost his 1st tooth and I felt bad so I had to make it up to him. Thank goodness A can’t wait to lose his teeth so the toothfairy will leave him a quarter. I hope he stays that cheap!

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