I talk. A lot.
And when I say a lot, I mean “I never shutup”. Melly knows this, she’s even done the hand gesture thing to me, you know, the one where you mimic someone who talks a lot, the “Blahblahblah” gesture? I know it’s irritating, but I can’t stop myself. I mean, I could, I guess, but I just have so much to say! Why do you think I have A BLOG? Do you think people in my real life want to listen to me talk about shit that doesn’t matter?
Anyway… there is a scenario that plays out in my head from time to time when I’m talking to someone and I KNOW I’m talking too much. It goes like this.
I’m talking. Talking, talking, talking. At first, the person is listening, but then they tune me out and I KNOW they’ve tuned me out, and as much as I know I should? I can’t stop talking. So, I’m standing there “blahblahblahblah” and all of a sudden I fall over. So, it’s like, I’m all “Yeah, so, I hate James Earl Jones because his fucking Verizon commercials are all ‘why don’t YOU get DSL from Verizon’ and I’m all “Because it’s not available in my AREA MOTHER FUCKER!” *THUD*
I just hit the floor. Out cold. And when I wake up, I’m all alone and I wonder “Did I talk myself to death? Or did someone hit me on the back of my head to make me shut the hell up? OR WHAT?”
It’s like my mind is telling me “STOP, PEOPLE ARE SICK OF HEARING YOUR VOICE, JUST STOP!”
I was telling this to Tony last night and I asked him if I got on HIS nerves by talking too much while we’re watching TV. “Well, I’m USED TO IT”
“Used to it!?” Excuuuuse me, I won’t talk to you anymore then!”