Beautiful cheese

I held my daughter up to the mirror so she could see herself. She looked puzzled at first, then she smiled the most beautiful smile.
And she kept smiling. At herself. It was as if she thought she was the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.
Tears started streaming down my face. It was one of the most pure, amazing moments in my life.
Because I’ve never known what it feels like to look in the mirror and like the person I see. It’s something I’ve always wished for, but loving myself is foreign to me. So, as I held my little girl in my arms and I watched her smiling at herself, I thought to myself “I hope she always feels this way when she looks at herself. I hope she never feels the way I do when she looks in a mirror. I hope that everytime she sees herself, she smiles like this because she feels beautiful. Because she feels loved. Because she feels special. Because she loves what she sees. Because she loves herself.”

One of my the biggest fears I had when I found out I was having a girl was that she would grow up hating herself the way I did. I swore I would do everything in my power to make sure she knew how loved, how worthy, how wanted, how beautiful she is, but I was afraid I’d fail. I was afraid I wouldn’t know how to do that, because I don’t know how to love myself. But when I saw the way she looked at herself just now, it was as if God was speaking to me, telling me that if I love her unconditionally, if I value her, respect her, she, in turn, will do the same. She WILL love herself inside and out, she WILL believe she’s beautiful, because she’ll have no reason to believe otherwise.

14 thoughts on “Beautiful cheese

  1. AyEnDeeAreEeAyAitch

    I am so proud of you Y. It breaks my heart knowing that you grew up like that…that you still see yourself as worthless sometimes when you sooooo aren’t. Gabby is proof!
    You are doing such a good job for your girl already and you’re actually showing the world that those people were wrong about you by raising her in a world where she is your everything. Yous a good person and a totally good Momma

  2. Jazzy

    How wonderful. All of that I wish for her and YOU. Gabby will watch the way you look and talk about yourself. You are beautiful in so many different ways, including your appearance, tell yourself this at least once a day. The things we repeat and repeat in our lives, eventually become habit.

  3. Rebecca

    Do you know, before I had read the 5th paragraph, the thought that was going through my mind was “I hope she always feels like that”. And that’s what you hope too! I, like you, have never liked to look at myself in the mirror, and now I actively avoid them. I’m confident you can make it so that it’s different for her :)

  4. geeky

    Loving her and respecting her will do her wonders, but don’t forget that she’ll also be taking her cues from how you feel about yourself. she’ll probably want to be just like you when she grows up. so as much as you love on her, remember to love on yourself too!

  5. Suzanne

    Babies are the most wonderful thing in the world! They are so innocent and full of wonder! What a magical moment, only I’m sorry you have painful memories yourself.

  6. Angie

    You beautiful, beautiful, girl. The best way to show your daughter how wonderful she is, is to start learning how wonderful YOU are. Children learn by example :)

  7. cee

    A couple of people have said it here too… I was thinking the same thing… she will watch and notice the way you see and treat yourself. Be easy on yourself, enjoy the lovely person that you see looking back at you, because little eyes will also be watching.

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