Low FAT cheese

***
Since the Humiliating, Yet Very Much Needed Emotional Breakdown At The Weight Watchers Meeting, I’ve been kicking and burning much ass-age in the battle to lose 75 more pounds. It was some kind of a breakthrough for me. I realised how all of the stupid hangups that I have, all of the negative self talk, all of that nonsense was holding me back from reaching my goals. I’m letting all of that go, ALL OF IT.
Example… I went back to the gym. And I started doing weights. This is a big deal for me because in the past, when I’d put on weight, I wouldn’t go to the gym because I thought I WAS TOO FAT. Crazy, no? And then when I would go? I’d be too embarrassed to use the weights because I was afraid of how dumb I’d look as a fat girl trying to do weights. I finally realised how pathetic and binding that kind of mentality is. This is about ME, not about what other people think.
I’m trying really hard to not get all cheesy here, but I feel so liberated right now. Freed from years of negative feelings about myself and my body. Don’t get me wrong, I still hate the way I look right now, but the way I’m dealing with it is much different and entirely more healthy both physically and mentally. Instead of sitting on the couch with a bag of chips and dip crying “I am so fat and ugly and no one loves me because I’m a horrid monster” I’m at the gym, lifting weights, saying “You ARE fat, but you WILL lose it because you are worth it!!”
See? Cheese, but TRUTH cheese.
I’ve added the lastest picture. Ethan took it this morning. I am now 209 pounds, down from the 230 I was in the first picture. Yes, my face is still colored out, but you’ll see it’s only one black line this time, because it’s starting not to hurt to look at myself. Who knows, maybe next time I’ll just show my damn face.



(p.s. when you look at that last picture? And you see my ass? Do you think to yourself…“I could totally rest my cup on it”? Because [small voice]I do[/small voice]

42 thoughts on “Low FAT cheese

  1. ginger

    Honey, LOOK at YOU! You look AWESOME! I am serious. You are the incredible shrinking woman.
    I mean it. It is so good to hear how motivated you are. You should be proud of yourself for being so determined.

  2. geeky

    you’re looking great Y, keep it up! it sounds like you’re in the right mental place to make it happen. it’s a lot harder than it sounds to stop making excuses and just DO something.

  3. Sara

    Totally can tell a difference. Just think of all of this wisdom you have to pass on to Gabby…she’s gonna be a strong, positive woman like her momma.

  4. lyn

    good job. you are looking great!
    p.s. i know what you mean about the gym – don’t you just hate those super skinny girls there. and why are they always talking on their cell phones????

  5. girl

    Y, you look great. seriously. and as for your ass? there is nothing wrong with an ass that you can rest a cup on. no matter how much my weight fluctuates, I ALWAYS have a big ass. I have come to terms with that and embraced my ghetto ass.

  6. Keli

    Gosh, Yvonne… I wish I had your stamina! I’m getting married in 3 weeks – and I need to drop a few pounds, and I cannot get my ass out the door to the gym! I need your will power… send me some, k? :-)

  7. Rae

    Oh Yvonne, could you RAWK any harder??? That’s TWENTY-ONE pounds since Special Sauce was born, grrlfriend!!! You look fantastic!!

  8. Mieke

    Speaking of asses, how is yours? Were you able to find the stuff I told you about? Should I pick some up for you and mail it to you?

  9. Chelle

    You are doing an awesome job. That is HARD work!
    Now, quit crossing out your beautiful face! We know it’s you!

  10. Caitlin

    You are amazing. Not only do you look sexy now, you’re just going to get sexier and sexier. Your attitude towards weight loss and fitness these days is totally hot too! Keep it up!

  11. kim

    Y, THIS IS AWESOME! i may not be in the prosition, but i’m proud of you. i know how hard this is (for i can’t do it..) and YOU ARE GREAT!!

  12. justme

    Wow, you can defiantly see the difference! I wish I had your attitude! I have gained way to much over the past couple of years. Shoot I don’t even want to apply for a job LOL.

  13. Tre

    “Do you think to yourself…I could totally rest my cup on it?”

    That’s certainly NOT what I thought. =)~ You’ve got a great ass.

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